The learning methods and training details of Harvard's top students

Chapter 27 Encourage children to get in touch with society, it is the most wonderful class

(Harvard representative: Tang Meijie) We must know that school education, especially book education, is not the only education.

——Harvard alumnus and scientist Zhu Kezhen

【Wonderful Guide】

Biography of Tang Meijie

In 1986, Tang Meijie was born in an ordinary family in Shanghai.

In 2001, Tang Meijie entered Fudan High School. During high school, she won nearly 97 medals at all levels.

From September 2003 to September 9, Tang Meijie, as an exchange student sponsored by the school, went to Sidwell High School in the United States to study abroad for one year; in December 2004, she officially received the early admission notice from Harvard University in the United States. A full scholarship of $9 will be provided to her for the academic year.Tang Meijie became one of only two students in Asia who were admitted early that year.

In 2006, as a freshman at Harvard, Tang Meijie introduced foreign Goldman Sachs Fund and other American sponsors to invest nearly 200 million yuan to establish the Harvard China-US Student Leaders Summit.

At present, Tang Meijie, who is studying in university, has chosen a major related to the direction of sociology in the liberal arts.

【Character Story】

you must do
Tang Meijie's father, Tang Nailin, is a language teacher. He always supports and encourages little Meijie: "You can do it, Dad believes in you!" With such encouragement, Tang Meijie began to try to make some social work.

Shanghai Oriental TV is recruiting a small reporter, and Tang Meijie really wants to try it.Tang Nailin thought it was a good opportunity to exercise, so she enthusiastically supported her registration.On the day of the interview, Tang Nailin encouraged her daughter to go in by herself, and then waited for her outside.At this time, many children in the field were holding on to the hands of their parents, nervously refusing to let them leave. Only Xiao Meijie stood calmly in front of the examiner.The examiner gave the test questions: each child went to XX company for an interview, and then prepared the interview content and returned it to the station.

At this time, the children were all dumbfounded. Not to mention interviews, even seeing strangers was enough to make these spoiled and self-confident children at a loss.

"Teacher, I can complete the task!" Xiao Meijie bravely stood up.

Then, she left alone with the camera on her shoulders.

In fact, Xiao Meijie knows nothing about camera technology.However, she was determined: "No, I'll just think about it slowly, and I can always learn it. Even if I can't learn it, it's better than nothing."

Half an hour later, Xiao Meijie came back. Although her task was not completed very well, her bravery and self-confidence were appreciated by the examiner. Finally, she passed the examination and became one of the first 10 small reporters of Shanghai Oriental TV Station. one.

When a TV reporter takes a video, one eye should be opened and the other eye should be closed.Xiao Meijie was not used to this action.

Tang Nailin found a pair of binoculars and instructed Xiao Meijie to change it into a monocular, and then practiced opening and closing her eyes repeatedly.Xiao Meijie tried hard, and finally succeeded in mastering this movement.The "Beautiful People's Square" she shot also won the Excellence Award in the Shanghai Photography Competition.

In order to do a good job as a small reporter, she learned the techniques of Microsoft interface, webpage production, and optimization software through self-study, and volunteered to assemble and repair computers for her classmates.

As a result, Tang Meijie's reputation as a little computer "expert" spread.

The staff of Shanghai Dongfang.com received the news and invited Xiao Meijie to Dongfang.com to start the "Oriental Youth" website. With the successful experience of a young reporter, Xiao Meijie agreed with full confidence.

Tang Nailin believes that the tempering of the social classroom will be of great benefit to her daughter's real entry into the society in the future.

【Harvard view】

Active participation in social activities is the touchstone of outstanding people

At Harvard, social activities and social services are particularly valued among comprehensive qualities.There is an inscription on Harvard's school gate, "Come in to increase wisdom, go out to serve the motherland and compatriots."Harvard has always adhered to the consistent principle that the people it trains must be able to truly serve the society. Therefore, understanding society and participating in society are compulsory courses for Harvard students. Some nursing homes take care of the elderly and help them take care of their lives, some go to primary and secondary schools to tutor their homework, or go to the hospital to work as nurses, and some counsel new immigrants on immigration law.

Some experts said, "Under China's current education model and philosophy, as long as students have excellent academic performance, they may be admitted to Tsinghua University and Peking University. Harvard University's admission transcript includes 5 parts and 5 scoring items: one is academic performance The second is social activities, such as whether you have saved fires and people, whether you have been to a nursing home, and whether you have visited leprosy patients; the third is personal expertise, such as whether you can play the violin, paint, and how about sports; Recommendation; fifth is the consideration of personal morality and quality. If an American student’s social activity score is zero, no matter what his academic performance is, it is absolutely impossible to enter Harvard.”

Wang Yuan, a Chinese student studying at Harvard, participated in the editorial work of the school newspaper when she was in middle school.She said that the size and design of the school newspaper is completely in the style of a big newspaper. Each issue has about 13 pages, and the maximum can reach [-] or [-] pages.For such a large newspaper, from interview to typesetting and printing, all are done by the students themselves.Wang Yuan said that although the academic performance of the previous three chief editors was not satisfactory, they were all admitted to prestigious universities such as Harvard.

So, how can parents encourage and help their children to be socially active?
First of all, encourage children to read newspapers, watch and listen to news frequently, and raise children's awareness of caring about society and participating in social activities.News is an important way for us to perceive society, understand society, and understand society, and children are no exception.In daily life, children should be encouraged to read more newspapers and listen to more news, and guide them with necessary explanations and introductions, so that children can have a more comprehensive and correct understanding of the current social dynamics.Practice has proved that this method can not only allow children to understand the society, but also expand their knowledge, which can be said to kill two birds with one stone.

Secondly, encourage children to actively participate in various activities organized by the school to cultivate children's flexible adaptability and cooperation ability.Only when children are integrated into the group can they have a sense of collective honor, know what unity and cooperation are, truly understand the meaning of competition, and understand the value of life better.

Again, encourage children to enter the social classroom.Create conditions for children to get in touch with society more, take them to visit some places that can increase their knowledge and understand society; encourage children to observe society with their own eyes, and feel more about the content contained in life; guide children to use their own hearts To perceive the truth, goodness and beauty in social life, so as to help them distinguish between true and false, and consciously let them have more life experience, which is beneficial to the healthy growth of children.

[Easy interaction]

1. What enlightenment did the idea of ​​Harvard and the story of Wang Yuan give you?
2. Do you often let your children participate in social activities?
【Parent-child total product】

There is a small town in the Boston area, Acton. A few years ago, four students from its high school were admitted to Harvard, and three of them were Chinese students. In addition to outstanding academic performance, their social activities were also very good.A girl named Miao Chenran's comprehensive quality report is simply amazing: extracurricular activities, speeches and debates, national qualifications for three consecutive years, first and second place in many regional competitions, No.6 in Massachusetts, No. 48 in the country ;Academic Decathlon, Team No.2, Massachusetts competition, four gold medals, two silver medals, national competition, one bronze medal; Leadership, National Merit League Acton Chapter Chairman; Award, West Point Invited Work Exhibition, Achievements Merit Award, Harvard Book Award, National Latin Examination Gold Medal.Another girl named Wu Xinru highlighted other aspects: the editor-in-chief of the school magazine (for two years), the chairman of the school’s senior student union, the founder of the school’s environmental protection club, the town hall, Emerson Hospital and school volunteers, women’s hockey and track team members .From the reports of these two students admitted to Harvard, it is not difficult to see that Harvard attaches great importance to the comprehensive quality and all-round development of students.These requirements are not only for Harvard candidates, but also for Harvard students.

The road to success cannot bypass social interaction
People's paths to success in business life are different.However, one of the main factors is common, and that is the need to be good at socializing.

Rice Bugielin of the United States said in his book "The Art and Skills of Interpersonal Communication": "Various scientific studies have proved that if you learn how to deal with others, no matter what your job and position , then you’re about 85 percent of the way to success and 99 percent sure of your own happiness.”

According to the evaluation of the school teachers, the President of the United States, George W. Bush, was playful, liked to play pranks, and got headaches when he read books in middle school, so his grades were extremely poor.After going to college, he majored in history, but his grades were mediocre, most of them got Cs. He also studied political science and economics, but his grades were a mess. Only philosophy and anthropology got decent grades, getting B+.

During the Vietnam War era, many college students initiated student anti-war activities, but Bush Jr. was indifferent to this and spent his four years in college laughing and having fun, while he was best at communicating with people.Someone joked that among the 4 Yale college students, Bush Jr. may know 4000 people.On the other hand, because he has a wide range of contacts, it will help him a lot in his future career in politics.

The future society needs young people to have the ability of social interaction and activities. However, today's only children just lack the opportunity to interact and cooperate with others. They are more or less out of gregarious and selfish.Whether young people can actively adapt to various environments in the future, whether they can coordinate their relationship with others and the collective, whether they can bravely take on social responsibilities, and whether they can look at life optimistically are inseparable from social interaction.

Generally speaking, the problems of adolescents in interpersonal communication mainly fall into the following categories:

1. Autism and defensive psychology

After entering adolescence, adolescents' self-awareness and independence tend to increase significantly, their self-esteem is very strong, and their inner world is unwilling to reveal to others. Especially after they suffer setbacks in certain aspects, they are more likely to appear autistic and defensive.This kind of psychology will increase the burden on the mind and cause a certain amount of psychological pressure.There are many reasons for this phenomenon. Some are unable to adapt to changes in the learning environment caused by entering a higher school, and cannot quickly establish new friendships in the new environment; some are afraid that they will not be understood by others. I am afraid that others will laugh at my ideas, thinking that the other party will not treat each other with sincerity, will not keep secrets for myself, etc.

2. Low self-esteem and fear of communication
This kind of psychology will lead them to be emotionally fragile, depressed and withdrawn, afraid that others will look down on them, unwilling to participate in group activities, and afraid to communicate with others.Some students also have a fear of communication because they have suffered setbacks and injuries in communication. They are nervous and at a loss when interacting with others, and the resulting experience of communication failure will further deepen this psychology.

3. Egocentric psychology

Students with self-centered psychology start from their own interests in the process of interacting with others, and blindly hope that others will listen to them and serve them without considering paying.These students are self-centered, unable to listen to the opinions of others, and often have a feeling of pride and complacency, which will eventually lead them to become failures in interpersonal communication.This kind of students are mainly concentrated in two groups: one is the only child who is dominated by doting family upbringing; student".

[Easy interaction]

1. Does your child have the above interpersonal problems?

2. How do you guide your children out of social misunderstandings?
【Parent-child total product】

In order to help parents guide their children to improve their communication skills, a Harvard professor made the following suggestions:

1. Be a role model for children to make friends
Parents should use their sincere feelings for neighbors and comrades around them to influence their children, and often take their children to visit neighbors and friends' homes, so that children can realize that it is a pleasure to communicate with others.

2. Create conditions for children to communicate with their peers
At the beginning, parents should take the initiative to invite children to their home as guests, and take the children to entertain the children warmly, and encourage the children to take out fruits, toys, etc. to share with their partners.Parents should gradually ask their children to find a partner to play with, and also educate their children to actively greet their peers, approach their peers, and help their peers.When going out to play, also ask the children to go with the children in the same class.

3. Develop children's interpersonal skills

Children like to communicate with others, especially their peers. However, if children do not master the skills of communication, they will not be recognized by their peers, and may even be left out and isolated, which will bring obstacles to their social development.Parents can tell their children to be humble and friendly when interacting with others. If their children do poorly in this area, parents can provide some scenarios to strengthen their training and let them learn communication skills.

4. Educate your children not to be afraid of suffering

For new toys, books, etc., children should ask their companions to play first.Parents must be strict with their children and not condone or cover up.When your child has a top-notch performance, you should inspire and educate your child to listen to the opinions of your partner; when your child quarrels with your partner, you should not favor your child and mediate; When showing generosity and understanding, it should be affirmed and praised.

(End of this chapter)