The learning methods and training details of Harvard's top students

Chapter 28 Raising the sails of children's self-confidence (1)
(Harvard representative: Shao Yibo) "Inferiority" is a time bomb lurking in a child's heart. Once it is detonated, the consequences will be disastrous. As a parent, you must dismantle it before your child grows up, otherwise the fate that will bring him It's a failure!
——Harvard Professor Dr. Weiner

【Wonderful Guide】

Biography of Shao Yibo

邵亦波（1973- ）生于上海。1991年赴美国哈佛大学留学。1995年获哈佛大学物理及电子工程双学士学位，同年进入美国波士顿咨询公司总部。1997年入哈佛商学院读MBA。1999年回国建立易趣网，出任首席执行官。

He once served as the chairman and CEO of eBay Network Information Service (Shanghai) Co., Ltd., a member of the Standing Committee of the Shanghai Pudong New Area CPPCC, and a member of the National Youth Federation.

At the age of 11, Shao Yibo won the gold medal in the first national "Hua Luogeng Gold Cup" juvenile mathematics competition with 150 participants; he won the special prize and the first prize in the national mathematics competition for junior high school and became a star player in the mathematics competition for middle school students in China.He declined the opportunity to directly enter Shanghai Jiaotong University in his first year of high school; he skipped a grade and directly entered the world's most famous Harvard University in the United States in his second year of high school.

After graduation, he was hired by two of the most famous strategic consulting firms in the world—McKinsey and Boston Consulting Group; he later chose the Boston Headquarters of Boston Consulting Group. The so-called "glass roof" of the company has become the top employee unanimously recognized by senior executives.

In 1999, he declined offers from major consulting companies and financial investment banking giants in the United States with a maximum annual salary of 20 US dollars, and returned to Shanghai to found eBay. On August 1999, 8, eBay was officially launched, and has always insisted on providing individual users with a complete trading platform and perfect shopping experience.As of October 18, eBay had more than 2000 million registered users and more than 10 online items.In the survey ranking of authoritative consulting agencies in the Asia-Pacific region, all indicators rank first among domestic e-commerce websites.

【Character Story】

A Network Genius Created by Confidence

Shao Yibo's parents attach great importance to the cultivation of the child's self-confidence. When he was very young, his parents instilled in him such a view: No matter what you do, you must strive to be first-class, always walk in front of others, and never lag behind others , "Even when you take the bus, you always have to sit in the front row".His father never allowed him to say "I can't".A father may have been too demanding for young children, but his education proved invaluable in later years.It is precisely because of the "cruel" education he received from his father since he was a child that he cultivated Shao Yibo's positive determination and confidence.Whether it is study, life or work, he always keeps in mind his father's teachings, and always overcomes all difficulties with an indomitable spirit and confidence in winning.

In 1991, Shao Yibo was admitted by Harvard University in advance, and entered Harvard University directly from the second year of high school. During his study at the school, with his tenacious perseverance and high self-confidence, he completed all the courses of his major within three years.In fact, Shao Yibo is not only outstanding in academics, but also in sports, music, speeches and other activities.When he was in high school, the principal of his school commented on him: "Shao Yibo is undoubtedly one of the best students since our school was founded. He is always full of confidence and does everything well."

Because of this, in 1999, he declined the employment of major consulting companies and financial investment banking giants in the United States, and returned to Shanghai to establish eBay, making eBay the number one e-commerce website in China.With his confidence in himself, he has a huge success on the e-commerce site, which attracts people's attention.

【Harvard view】

Praise, the source of nourishing children's self-confidence
Beautiful things are always memorable.A word of praise and an encouraging look may be unforgettable for a lifetime.Parents are busy with socializing and entertaining on weekdays, so they are polite to their friends, and even know the magic of compliments.In fact, this set is also applicable to stimulating children's self-confidence.

There is a famous neurosurgery expert in the United States who suffered from a very strange learning disability since she was a child. Before the third grade, the math teacher never put a check mark on her homework.Every time she saw the wrong numbers in the book, she felt very headache and felt inferior, but no matter how hard she tried, she still couldn't do it right.After a long time, she thought that she was indeed a hopelessly stupid student, and she completely despaired of herself.In the fourth grade, their class changed to a math teacher who taught her what "self-confidence" is.Since then, self-confidence has changed her destiny.

Once, the new teacher picked up her homework book full of wrong numbers, and said kindly: "You can't do this kind of problem incorrectly. You are too careless. Let's do it again, okay? You have to be more confident." !" She didn't do it right the second time. The teacher didn't type the wrong number in her notebook, but wrote a few words: "Your handwriting is awesome! Write it again, please? You should believe that you can Do it right!" After redoing it for the third time, she began to become confident, and she believed that as long as she worked hard, she would definitely do it right.Although she still didn't do it right in the end, the teacher put a few check marks in her notebook and told her: "You are awesome, this time you did so much better than last time." The teacher said briefly The words made her so excited that she couldn't sleep for a few nights. She felt a power filled her body, which was the power brought by self-confidence.With the help of her teacher, she not only overcame her inferiority complex, but also fell in love with mathematics, and her grades in various subjects began to improve. She was finally admitted to Harvard University and became a neurosurgery expert.

It can be seen that self-confidence is very important to the growth of children.Parents should fully tap their children's bright spots, praise them constantly, help children overcome inferiority complex and cowardice, and let them face all difficulties in life and study with confidence.

When children are praised, they will immediately show joy and self-confidence.Even if a child encounters failure in the process of doing things, he needs the support of adults to rebuild his self-confidence.Therefore, don't be stingy with praising your child, as long as he has a little bit of merit, you should affirm the child and give him self-confidence.

While cultivating children's self-confidence, parents should let them learn to love themselves, build self-confidence, and avoid hurting children with sarcastic words.Otherwise, the child will think: "Even the parents I love most have no confidence in me, what hope do I have?" So they give up on themselves and have no self-confidence anymore.

Some parents may have such doubts: "You want me to educate children with praise everywhere, so that children will be arrogant and self-righteous?"

Of course, if you only educate your child with words of love, but don't teach him the principles of how to behave in the world, it is naturally dangerous.

While cultivating the child's self-confidence and praising the child a lot, we must also pay attention to the problem of moderation, not to praise the child too much, to praise the child blindly in everything, and to obey him in everything, it is easy to develop his pride and arrogance. Self-centered, blind self-confidence, supercilious, this will be very harmful to the growth of children.Every parent who wants their children to grow up healthily must be able to grasp a certain degree when cultivating their children's self-confidence, and don't blindly praise their children to avoid misunderstandings.

[Easy interaction]

1. After reading the stories in the article, what inspiration do you have for educating your children?
2. In life, when the child encounters difficulties, will you encourage the child and let the child gain self-confidence?

3. Think about it, do you think your child has super self-confidence?
【Parent-child total product】

When you praise and encourage your children, you should follow the following points:

1. Reasonable
In terms of parents' affirmation of their children, there is still a tendency to focus on "obedient".The main reasons why children are praised - studying hard, helping the family, etc., are also related to "obedience".On the contrary, such qualities as "strong independence", "not afraid of difficulties", "perseverance in doing things", "curiosity and exploration", which are extremely needed in modern society, are rarely selected by parents.

This shows that many parents are biased towards the value orientation of their children's growth, and in the process of encouragement, parents who use material rewards account for a large part.This derails encouraging education.

2. Sincere
In the process of encouragement, words that are too flat or high-pitched cannot convey the sincerity.Adults' encouragement to children must be sincere and enthusiastic, but exaggerated words and actions are absolutely not required.Kind and gentle words, gentle and encouraging eyes will give children strong support.

3. Specific
When encouraging a child, don't say general words such as "you are great" or "you are really good", but should have a clear incentive for his behavior.When your child shows you his drawings, it's best not to say, "Wow! What a beautiful picture you drew!" Instead, say, "Your drawing of a house is special!" or, "I noticed you I am very serious about painting, and it took me a long time to finish this painting." This not only affirms the child's hard work, but also affirms the child's ability, and the child will be greatly encouraged and have more confidence in himself .

The child should be compared with himself and clearly pointed out where the child has improved.After your child draws a picture for you to see, you can say: "This picture is better than the last time, you painted the kid's eyes very vividly." Don't say things like "You are better at drawing than your little brother." ", it may increase his self-esteem, and it may also bring him pressure, fearing that he will not be as good as others next time.

【Harvard view】

Will use criticism to "prune", and the child will grow stronger

Children also have self-esteem. Parents should give appropriate encouragement and support for their children's achievements, and communicate with them in a timely manner to avoid children's arrogance and arrogance, instead of severely criticizing them, which will hurt their self-esteem.

(End of this chapter)