The learning methods and training details of Harvard's top students

Chapter 38 It is better to let children have a good environment than to leave a million wealth (2)
The next day, in order to recover the bank's losses, the police issued a special order requiring the person who picked up the money to return all the banknotes they picked up, otherwise they would be punished as theft.

As a result, only two people went to the police station to return the picked up banknotes.One, a mother-of-six, pulled out a handful of coins she had found, totaling £6.When people asked her why she handed over the money, she said: "I have children, I want to set a good example for them!" The mother is just an ordinary salesperson, earning only £19 a day.

Teaching by example is more important than teaching by words. This is the first principle of education.

An educator said it well: "Many parents have strict requirements on their children, but they themselves lack self-discipline and cannot set a good example for their children. They are the kind of 'do as I say' rather than ' "Do as I do" parents who teach their children this way are ultimately unconvincing and ultimately doomed to failure."

In daily life, parents should not only pay attention to talking and setting an example when teaching, but also pay attention to ordinary words and deeds, and subtly use their good words and deeds to influence their children.The power of role models is infinite.As the parent of your child's first teacher, if you want to educate your child well, you should set a good example for your child and use your words and deeds to educate your child.

[Easy interaction]

1. Think about it, as a parent of your child, have you set a good example for your child?

2. When you are with your children, can you pay attention to your words and deeds?

3. Think about it, do you think the role model of parents is important in family education?

【Parent-child total product】

Barbara, the mother of the current US President George W. Bush, said that her father told her that parents can only give their children the three most valuable things: first, the best education; second, to set a good example; third, all love.Parents need to create and maintain an environment for their children that fosters honesty, generosity, and a sense of justice.

In life, bad role models for parents to avoid include:

1. Parents utter bad words. After hearing such words, children will imitate you and make you half dead when they speak out.

2. One parent throws things away, and the other one cleans up everything he throws away. In this way, the child will also develop the habit of shifting all responsibilities to others.

3. Parents make mistakes and refuse to admit their mistakes, and the children follow suit to the end.

4. Parents often quarrel and swear, and they have no worries about the presence of their children.Children will feel extremely uneasy and anxious in the hostility and quarrels of their parents.

5. Parents spend a lot of money and don’t know how to save. They give the child whatever pocket money they want and don’t ask him to save. How can he experience the hard work of earning money?

6. When parents have conflicts with others, they are unreasonable and do not apologize. The children standing on the side are nervous, fearful, fearful, and have no sense of security during the dispute.

【Harvard view】

Let the family be full of love, education is already half the battle

From being ignorant to becoming sensible, the child is devoted to the love of his parents every moment, and at the same time, he is deeply imprinted by the family.If parents can create a caring family for their children, so that children can fully enjoy the love in the family, your education will be half successful.

Harvard University psychologist Jerome Cagan's research tells us that children's emotional development can only be normal in loving families.Love is a special way of education, and a family environment full of love is conducive to the formation of a healthy personality for children, and is conducive to enabling children to have a stable and positive self-awareness.

According to years of research by the International Education Foundation, there are four different forms of love in a family, namely parental love, children's love, brotherly love and conjugal love.

Among them, the love of children is the starting point of life morality, because everyone's initial role is a child.When children are young, they need the care and care of their parents. Only under the cover of their parents' love can they feel safe in the world.After feeling the love of their parents, children should learn how to respond to their parents' love. When enjoying and appreciating their parents' love, they should start to think about repaying their parents with love, such as respecting their parents, obeying their parents, comforting their parents, and fulfilling their parents' wishes. , Live for parents, etc., that is what we call filial piety.After the love for parents is strengthened, it will be extended to the elders, brothers and sisters and others, just as the Confucianism said: "One hundred virtues and filial piety are the first, and then the old and the old, the young and the young, and the young .” In society, it is easy to get along harmoniously with leaders and elders.

The second type of love a child has in a family is brotherly love.When a child has brothers and sisters in the family, he has to learn how to get along well with them. Parents should educate them to share toys, food, etc., and feel the joy of sharing.When the first child sees that his parents' love for him has not changed, he will overcome his jealousy for his younger siblings and learn to care for his younger siblings or peers with the support of his parents' love and love for his parents.Brotherly love has more self-denial than children's love for their parents, such as tolerance and tolerance.On the basis of a relatively mature mind, a person can develop the good ability to live in harmony with peers, to cooperate and share, to be humble and respectful, to help each other and to support each other, which is crucial to the formation of a good personality.And when they make friends of the opposite sex in adolescence, they tend to treat the opposite sex with the pure affection of brothers and sisters.And when one gets along well with siblings, one tends to co-operate with co-workers as if they were siblings.

Especially preschool children, with young hearts, are more eager to get the warmth of the family.When a child does something wrong, after explaining the right and wrong and correcting the mistake, the parents should express their love for the child in an appropriate way, so that they can feel that the parents still love him.In order to continue to receive this kind of love, he prefers to be a good boy.This is to arouse their inner positive desires, which will be more conducive to helping and guiding children in the future.Conversely, when a child feels that he has lost the warmth of love in the family and that he is not a good child in the eyes of his parents, he will have a rebellious mentality, "I am not good anyway", and will not work hard to improve his negative feelings.Children are very sensitive and care about every look, gesture, lip curl, and blink of their parents in the family.Parents should not treat their children with contemptuous or disgusting eyes and attitudes at any time.Always keep your children in loving and caring homes.

Parents' meticulous care and strict and appropriate discipline for their children can arouse children's sincere love and respect for their parents.It's called two-way communication, and it fills the family with hope.Children can feel and experience the hardships and ardent expectations of their parents for their own upbringing. Knowing their progress or mistakes will arouse their parents' deep joy or pain, which will increase their motivation to work hard.

A family full of love can successfully cultivate children's qualities of kindness, loyalty, cooperation, good karma, and sense of responsibility. This is an invaluable treasure for children to adapt to the future society.

[Easy interaction]

1. Think about it, as a parent of a child, do you think your family is a loving family?

2. In family life, do you always give your children love and encouragement?
3. Think about it, do you think your child has a pure love?

【Parent-child total product】

A Harvard professor believes that what kind of parents and what kind of family atmosphere will shape what kind of children.

If a child lives with criticism, he learns to condemn;

If a child lives with hostility, he learns to fight;

If a child lives in fear, he learns to worry;

If a child lives with pity, he learns to blame himself;

If a child lives with sarcasm, he learns to be shy;

If a child lives with shame, he learns to feel guilty;
If a child lives with encouragement, he learns self-confidence;

If a child lives with patience, he learns patience;

If a child lives with praise, he learns to appreciate;

If a child lives with acceptance, he learns to love;
If a child lives with approval, he learns to love himself;

If a child lives with sharing, he learns generosity;

If a child lives with sincerity, he learns to live with peace of mind;
If a child lives with recognition, he learns to have a purpose;
If a child lives with honesty and integrity, he learns truth and justice.

(End of this chapter)