The learning methods and training details of Harvard's top students

Chapter 48 Appendix: Harvard Family Education Rules (1)
Rule One: The Rosenthal Effect

In the 20s, American educator Rosenthal circled the names of several students on the roster of each grade in a school to the teacher and told the teacher: "These students will develop the most in the future." Several years later The follow-up survey shows that, sure enough, these students are the most successful.

However, the lists Rosenthal provided to teachers were drawn purely at random, with no real reference to the level of knowledge and intelligence of the students.But he gave hints to the teachers through his "authority", which strengthened the teachers' confidence in the students on the list and mobilized the teachers' unique feelings for the students.Although the teachers did not make these lists public, the emotions that cannot be concealed can also nourish the hearts of the students through eyes, smiles, and tone of voice, so that the students are subtly affected and become more confident and self-improving.In fact, Rosenthal conducted a psychological test of expectations.Psychologists call this phenomenon of using encouragement and respect to enhance confidence and maximize the potential of individuals as the "Rosenthal Effect".

The gist of the Rosenthal effect is that parents must pay attention to the role of psychological factors in the process of educating their children.Children need support, encouragement and praise, as well as full psychological enjoyment.Psycho-education points out that in the face of the same challenges and competitive conditions, people who are full of confidence are likely to succeed, so children should be encouraged to make every small progress.Affirmation is a kind of psychological "strengthener". The evaluation of children should be based on affirmation, instead of blindly criticizing and blaming.If parents often tell their children that they are bad at something, this "mental stereotype" will become a reality in the child sooner or later.Criticism is not impossible, but it should be based on the facts of the wrong behavior, rather than completely negate it.

The Rosenthal effect enlightens us: as parents, when educating children, we must know how to stimulate children with confidence, give them affirmation, and let children play their own advantages.

Once a person is framed at a certain level, he will continuously and strongly suggest himself in the subconscious, get rid of inferiority complex, and develop his potential. Coupled with the different views, admiration and care of the people around him, he will naturally greatly improve his life. It pushed him to develop towards the framed level.Luo Binwang, one of the four masters of the early Tang Dynasty, was able to write poems at the age of 5. He sang the poem "Goose, goose, goose, song to the sky. White hair floats on green water, red palms pluck green waves", and he was hailed as a child prodigy.Sure enough, he later became a famous poet in the Tang Dynasty.

The Rosenthal effect proves three truths: first, people's IQ and ability can be "activated" by external force; second, trust and expectation are the basic elements to "activate" people's IQ and ability; third, Good kids are encouraged.

Encourage your child and develop their self-confidence. Your encouragement and support will go a long way in determining your child's future.

Rule Two: The Broken Window Theory
Stanford University psychologist Gianba Dou once did such an experiment: He found two identical cars, one was parked in a messy neighborhood, and the other was parked in a middle-class community.The one he parked in the cluttered neighborhood had its license plates removed and the roof opened, and it was stolen within a day, while the one in the middle-class neighborhood was unharmed after a week.Later, Jambaldo used a hammer to knock a big hole in the glass of the car. As a result, it disappeared after only a few hours.

Later, political scientist Wilson and criminologist Karin put forward a "broken window theory" based on this experiment.The theory goes that if someone breaks a window in a building, and the window is not repaired in a timely manner, others may be given implicit connivance to break more windows.Over time, these broken windows created a sense of disorder.Then in this atmosphere of public insensitivity, crime will breed and spread.

The "broken window theory" has a good reference value in the process of educating children. It enlightens us that "the first piece of broken window glass" must be repaired in time.There is an idiom in our country called "prevent the small and eliminate the gradual", which is the truth.

The "Broken Window Theory" embodies the suggestive effect of details on people, and the important role of details in the outcome of events that cannot be underestimated.Facts have proved that the "broken window theory" can indeed guide our lives.

New York used to be famous for being dirty, chaotic, and bad. The environment was harsh and crime was rampant. The situation in the subway was particularly serious. There is a dangerous element of a person carrying a weapon. In 7, the new police chief Bratton began to govern New York.He started from the subway car: the car was clean, the platform was clean, the platform was clean, the steps were clean, then the street was clean, then the streets next to it were clean, and then the whole community was clean, In the end, the whole New York changed, becoming neat and beautiful.Now New York is one of the cities with the lowest crime rate in the United States, so this incident is also known as the "New York Tipping Point".

There is also a so-called "broken window phenomenon" on campus: a new repeater came to the class. Because of his hard work, the students who originally wanted to dawdle were shocked, and the learning atmosphere began to improve. Sometimes the teacher repeatedly emphasized that Some people may not take it seriously, but his words: "This content needs to be tested." It will immediately attract the attention of the students, and the words of repeaters are more effective than the words of the teacher!This shows that repairing the first broken glass in time can effectively prevent the "broken window phenomenon" in its infancy.

The focus of education is the education of children's personality quality. Only by letting children grow up healthily in a good atmosphere can children not go astray in future life.

Rule [-]: Forbidden Fruit Effect
The word "forbidden fruit" comes from the "Bible". It talks about Eve stealing the forbidden fruit from the tree of knowledge and being demoted to the world. The rebellious psychological phenomenon caused by this forbidden fruit is called "forbidden fruit effect".In ancient Greek mythology, a girl named Pandora got a mysterious small box from Zeus, the god of all gods. Zeus strictly forbade her to open it, but this inspired the girl's curiosity and adventure, and she finally opened it. As a result, disasters flew out and flooded the world.Pandora's psychology corresponds to a Russian proverb: "The forbidden fruit is extraordinarily sweet."

The reason for the extra sweetness of the forbidden fruit has different meanings in various situations.The positive direction for each individual, and for humanity as a whole, is the disposition to know, the desire to know what is not known, which would perhaps go unnoticed if it were not forbidden.

Furthermore, the very fact of prohibition, if no reason is stated, invites all sorts of assumptions, speculations, legitimate desires to find out why something is not permitted.

When parents educate their children, they often just prohibit them without explaining the reasons for their children's "not allowed".Not believing that the prohibition is justified, the child will doubt its correctness, and thus have the intention to violate it.There is a sign hanging on the apple tree: "The apples are sprayed with poison and cannot be eaten." Who would have the desire to eat the apples on the tree? "Daddy himself smokes, but forbids me to smoke." This kind of thinking arouses the child's attempt to taste the forbidden fruit, and the sense of imitation or envy plays an important role in the child. "You are still young, it is too early to smoke!" This reason instead strengthens the child's envy of adults, thus prompting him to smoke secretly.Therefore, in the face of the "forbidden fruit", it is very feeble to just tell the child "not to pick it". This requires parents to communicate and explain to the child patiently.

"Forbidden fruit effect" is common in family education.Some parents always like to prohibit their children, and the result is that the more prohibited books, the more children want to read, and the more prohibited things, the more children want to do.For example, there are many unhealthy books that children don't know about at first, and they don't necessarily read them when they know them. But if they are forbidden by their parents, the children want to read more. Those that they don't usually like to read are also very exciting at this time, and they want to have a look. .For another example, parents blindly adopt a prohibitive attitude towards their children's puppy love, computer games, online chatting, etc., which will also cause children to have a "forbidden fruit effect".

Therefore, in the process of educating children, parents must properly guide their children's curiosity. They should not just tell their children what not to do, but tell them as many reasons as possible while telling them "not allowed", so that children Learn the truth.

Rule Four: The Catfish Effect
Norwegian fishermen go out to sea to catch fish, and they put the fish into the fish tank and transport it back to the dock.If the fish is still alive when it arrives at the dock, it can fetch a high price.However, sardines are easy to die before reaching the port, so they do everything possible to let the fish return to the port alive.

But all but one of the fishing boats' efforts failed.The captain of this fishing boat kept his secret secret until after his death, when people went to visit his fish tank, the secret was revealed: there was just one more catfish in the fish tank.

Why put a catfish, can let the sardines live?

It turned out that when catfish were put into the fish tank, due to the unfamiliar environment, they would swim around and cause commotion everywhere, but a large number of sardines found that there was an "alien" and naturally became nervous, so they kept swimming. As soon as it came, the sardines were transported to the port alive and kicking one by one.

This effect tells people that life can be tenaciously maintained only if it keeps moving.Only by constantly striving can we remain invincible in the competition.

The development of market economy, the introduction of the concept of knowledge economy, the formation of global economic integration, the intensification of the speed of social change, the competition of comprehensive national strength, and a series of social developments are more and more manifested as the competition of human quality.In this general environment, people are increasingly aware of the importance of cultivating young people's sense of competition and competitiveness.With competition, a unit can have vitality; with competition, any individual can have motivation.Without competition, nothing will be achieved; without competition, society will not move forward.

Letting children "learn to compete" and cultivating children's sense of competition and competitiveness have become an important part of current family education.Therefore, educators put forward the educational direction of "focusing on the socialization of children's personality and cultivating children's ability to participate in social competition strongly enough".

As parents, we should pay attention to cultivating children's competitiveness in daily life, so that children can adapt to the competitive world and have a strong sense of competition.

Rule Five: The Law of Diminishing Talent
Few parents know that there is a strange law in the cultivation of children's potential—the law of diminishing talent, that is, children's talents decrease with age, and the later they are educated, the children's innate potential will be fully realized. get less.

Early education is one of the main ways to develop children's potential, and early education is more likely to create geniuses.

A child, if his talent can be fully utilized, can eventually have a 100-point ability, then 100 points is the child's potential.If he is left alone, he can only become a person with 30 points of ability, and only a small part of his potential can be brought into play; if he is properly educated, his ability can reach 60 points, 70 points, or even 80 points.The educational research of experts shows that if a child starts education at the age of 5, even if it is a very ideal education, he can only have 80 points of ability in the future; if he starts education at the age of 10, he can only have 60 points of ability. A concrete manifestation of the law of diminishing talent.

Because children's various abilities have different development periods, and each development period is basically the same.While some competencies may have long periods of development, others may have short periods of development.If all abilities are not developed during the development period, there will never be any further development.

Today, with the rapid economic development, there are fewer outstanding craftsmen, which is also a manifestation of the law of diminishing talent.An experienced fisherman said that nowadays there are no people who are good at swimming, rowing and casting nets like in the past. This is because children go to school when they are eleven or twelve years old, and water kung fu must be practiced from about ten years old. .

The same is true for children's foreign language learning.If you don't start learning to use a foreign language before the age of 10, it will be difficult to master an authentic foreign accent, and the accent will always be a bit "weird".Many experts even believe that if you don't start practicing the piano from the age of 5, and the violin from the age of 3, it is impossible to reach a very high level.That is to say, if children's abilities are not cultivated during the developmental period, children's potential will decrease. This is the fundamental reason why early education can create geniuses.

Many people think that early education is not conducive to children's health and deprives children of a normal childhood life.Carl Witter was accused of it, the father of the Thomson brothers was accused of it, and Muller's parents were accused of it.

But in fact, Witt was a very healthy and lively child in his childhood, as were the Thomson brothers and Goethe.Moreover, judging from their life spans, Witt, Lord William, and Goethe all lived to be 83 years old, James lived to be 70 years old, and Lord Westbury lived to be 73 years old, all of which can be called longevity.

Therefore, it is wrong to say that early education will affect the normal development of children's personality and body. We parents should know that the earlier you educate your children and develop their potential, the greater the chances of your child's success.

Rule Six: The Swan Effect
In this world, everyone praises selfless love, but sometimes love is also a kind of injury, and it is fatal.

There is a small island in the beautiful Swan Lake, and an old fisherman and his wife live on the island.

One autumn, a group of swans came to the island.They are flying from the far north, ready to go south for the winter.The old couple was very happy to see this group of aliens, because they had lived here for so many years and had never seen anyone visit them.

The fisherman and his wife entertained the swan with the feed for the chickens and the small fish they caught. Gradually, they became good friends.

When winter came, this group of swans did not continue to fly south. They foraged on the lake during the day and roosted on the island at night.The lake was frozen and they couldn't get food, so the old couple opened the door of their hut, kept them warm in the house, and gave them food.

Year after year, the old couple dedicated their love like this.

One year, they were old and left the island, and the swans disappeared.But instead of flying south, they starved to death during the freezing of the lake the following year.

In the story, the fisherman couple's love for the swan is absolutely selfless and sincere.

But the fisherman and his wife never imagined that once the swan who is used to their love loses their embrace, the ending will be very tragic.In this world, everyone praises selfless love, but sometimes love is also a kind of injury, and it is fatal.In order for parents to remember this lesson, we call the incompetence of children caused by the selfless doting of parents the "swan effect".

(End of this chapter)