The learning methods and training details of Harvard's top students

Chapter 50 Appendix: Harvard Family Education Rules (3)
Time passed minute by minute.The temptation of this candy to children is also growing, almost irresistible.One child peeled off the delicate wrapper, put the candy in his mouth and made a "tsk tsk" sound.Affected by him, several children couldn't bear it anymore and peeled off the exquisite candy wrappers one after another.But more than half of the children were still trying to control themselves and waited until the stranger returned after 40 minutes.Of course, those children who waited were rewarded as they should be.

Later, the stranger followed the children for 20 years.He found that children who can delay gratification have an average of 20 points higher in math and Chinese scores than those who can't.After joining the work, they never bow their heads in the face of difficulties, and can always get out of difficulties and succeed.

Delayed gratification is what we usually call "patience".In order to pursue greater goals and obtain greater enjoyment, you can restrain your desires and give up the temptation in front of you.In fact, those who commit crimes on the spur of the moment are often unable to restrain their instantaneously inflated desires.On the contrary, those who are successful in their careers are often able to accumulate small desires and become the driving force that constantly motivates them to move forward.

Cultivating children's patience must start from childhood, so that children can get used to "delayed gratification" from an early age.

Most modern families have only one child, coupled with the affluence of material life, the result is that parents love their children extremely.Parents are almost responsive to their children, whether it is food, drink, or play, what the children want, the parents immediately try to satisfy.Over time, such a "set pattern" has been formed in the child's consciousness: My requirements can be easily met instantly.In this way, in the minds of children, there is often a lack of awareness of hard work, and they want to get everything immediately without spending any effort or waiting for a while.Therefore, parents should understand the danger of this kind of pampering and correct it as soon as possible.For some requirements of the child, if it is not the basic requirement, parents should try to make the child satisfied through their own efforts.For example, if a child wants a high-end toy, parents should not just buy it, but arrange some housework for the child, and save a certain amount of pocket money for the child after completing these tasks every day, and then let the child use the money to go to school. buy toys.After such education, children can often establish a spirit of love for work and hard work, and avoid becoming the kind of lazy "boyfriend" or "big lady" who only knows how to reach out to their parents.

When children are engaged in more complex intellectual activities, parents should be good at using spiritual rewards to let children learn to delay gratification.Psychologists have done such an experiment: Let two groups of children do arithmetic homework, tell one group of children to give them candy after completing the homework, and tell the other group of children that parents should give praise and give prizes after completing the homework.While the two groups of children were doing their homework, the experimenter deliberately placed some electric toys in the next room and made attractive sounds.As a result, many children in the former group could not stand the temptation, put down their homework and ran to play with toys, but few children in the latter group gave up their homework.This proves that spiritual rewards are more effective than material rewards in helping children resist external interference.The children in the latter group said that when they were tempted by the toys in the next room, they were encouraged by imagining the scene of their parents giving praise and giving prizes after completing the homework, so that they could continue to complete the homework in hand.This shows that spiritual encouragement has the characteristics of long duration and indirect satisfaction. When children are engaged in more complex activities, spiritual rewards can help children clarify the meaning of the activity, thereby helping to enhance their patience.

In daily life, parents should use various opportunities to train their children's patience.Modern life strives for convenience and speed, instant noodles, instant milk powder, remote control... If you want to eat and watch, there is no need to wait.Of course, this is convenient for people's lives, but on the other hand, it also develops the habit of impatient people.For this reason, parents should be good at using or even creating some opportunities for children to learn to wait.For example, when you go out to play, you can teach your children to obey the order and wait in line when you are on a rocket to the moon; you can consciously let your children assemble and repair some daily utensils, learn to cook some not-so-simple dishes, and use their brains to play some more complex intellectual games. etc.

In short, parents should be good at using various educational methods such as rewards and hints, so that children can develop the habit of doing everything well from beginning to end, and perseveringly. This will be a great gift for children to benefit for life.

Rule Nine: The Law of Interest
There is a wise saying: "Interest is the best teacher." The ancients also said: "Those who know are not as good as those who are good, and those who are good at knowledge are not as good as those who are happy." Interest is the "motive force" of learning, and interest is the "catalyst" of learning. It has a magical internal driving effect on children's learning, can turn ineffective into effective, and turn inefficiency into high efficiency.Fully stimulating children's interest in learning is one of the most fundamental and effective ways to carry out quality education, reduce burden and improve quality.

"Learning without interest is tantamount to hard labor; where there is no interest, there will be no wisdom and inspiration." Fascination can open the door of thinking, and intelligence and ability can be developed.

Whether a person has interests or hobbies in his own life is very different.With strong interests and hobbies, you can feel the preciousness and loveliness of life, which can be transformed into spiritual joy.

Interest is a manifestation of a person's vitality, and it is also a manifestation of concentrating on one or several activities for a period of time.Hobbies are the driving force for the sustainable development of interests.

In life, children can have strong interests and hobbies, and the benefits are many.Newton discovered the law of universal gravitation when an apple fell to the ground.Toshio Sochi, a famous Japanese economist, wrote in his book "The Way of Management", "One of the keys to whether you can become a successful entrepreneur lies in how you spend your spare time." It can be seen that interest can lead people into a deep and broad field of specialized knowledge, and can lead people to the glorious peak of a great cause.Because interest is the most practical factor that constitutes learning motivation and a driving force for learning.

Parents should be good at guiding children's interest in various things.A mother was washing dishes in the kitchen, and she heard the sound of a child bouncing and playing in the backyard, and she called out to him, "What are you doing?" The child replied, "I want to jump to the moon!" Guess what the mother said ?Instead of pouring cold water on him and scolding him, "Don't talk nonsense, kid" or "Come in and wash up," she said, "Okay, but don't forget to come back!" This kid later became the first person to land on the moon. It was Armstrong.

Hobbies that bring entertainment, friendship and knowledge to people.For example, people who like to collect antiques often have to find a place to store new antiques, and consult books for research.It is also a great pleasure to take out the antiques in your collection to appreciate.For another example, people who love philately, when you appreciate philatelic products, you will get knowledge and enlightenment from them.With interests and hobbies, there will be "touch points" for communicating with others. With a wide range of interests, there will be more media to contact.In dealing with friends, one broadens one's horizons, expands one's knowledge, and gives one's affections some sustenance.

One of the biggest characteristics of the era of knowledge economy is the "knowledge explosion", and the replacement of knowledge is advancing by leaps and bounds. If your children want to survive in such an era, what they need to learn is not only certain knowledge and experience, but lifelong knowledge. Constantly learn new knowledge and new things, and always maintain the spirit, ability and attitude of "spontaneity" or self-consciousness.The society needs talents with bold innovation and pioneering spirit, and those who have no interest and expertise are mediocre at best.Only when a person has the interest in learning can he better grasp and apply the knowledge he has learned.As the parents of the new generation of children, they are more responsible for cultivating children's various interests and using them to develop their future, because the mission of children is to create the future.

(End of this chapter)