Jade Guanyin

Chapter 6

Although I already know how unreal the An Xin I imagined at first, that pure, simple girl who is only immersed in part-time work and further studies, and full of simple dreams for the future, is different from the An Xin in reality, and that passive girl. How illusory it is compared to the real peace of mind concealed by people's appearance.But when I saw the man in the dark corner of the intersection of Jingshi Sports School and saw the man whose face was frozen while An Xin was crying, I really realized that the most real An Xin may be more complicated than I have imagined much.Not only did she have a deep relationship with that man named Tie Jun in the past, but now, another man will still sneak up by her side.She is actually a mysterious girl with a complicated history, an unclear face, and a much deeper city than mine.The funny thing is that I always thought I could handle her easily.I found that compared with her, I was innocent.

Simply stupid!

I drove the car back to my home.Although I have lost my initial enthusiasm for An Xin during this period, and I have even calmly considered whether such a girl is suitable for me, but this tryst that I ran into by chance still made me feel greatly disappointed and resentful, and I felt cheated in my heart. and wounded stings.I thought maybe that man would call me again after An Xin's tryst, and would complain about why I ignored her with grievances.It seems that I was right to ignore her if I didn't call back. I didn't wrong her at all. So many men around her have the right to pretend to be wronged by me!

I thought carefully about the man's face, there must have been at least four or five faces under the dim streetlights.An Xin and such an old man stand next to this man, if he is not a rich man, I would dare to kill him!Why is she crying with that rich man?Is that rich guy trying to dump her?Not all rich men are like this, do you think he can guard you forever if you look good?Stop dreaming!For that kind of man, the best woman is the woman he just met, and the man's picture is not just fresh!
An Xin didn't call again that night.I was also very restless, and I turned off the lights when I went to bed and couldn't fall asleep very late.

When I woke up the next morning, after washing up and before going to work, I was hesitant to put on my tie. When the tie was finished, I decided to make a phone call to Jingshi Sports School.I admit that I really want to know if Mrs. An Xin called me to see if she really meant that to me.Maybe she didn't respond to my aggression in the past because she was still with the old guy, and now the old guy finally dumped her.

An Xin quickly answered the phone, and asked me hastily before I could speak, and she was really concerned: "Yang Rui, where have you been these days, nothing happened? Go home?" I said lightly: "Ah, I'm busy with work." An Xin said: "I called you several times, but you haven't been here, and you didn't answer when I called you." I said: "Ah, something happened Is it?" An Xin said: "When are you free, can you come to see me?" I said: "What's the matter, can't you talk on the phone?" An Xin probably heard my abnormal indifference, she paused After a while, he calmed down and said, "Whenever is convenient for you, I'll go find you. I won't take up too much of your time." An Xin's tone immediately became business-like, obviously not like a romantic relationship A gesture of love.My heart was even colder. After thinking for a while, I still made an appointment to meet her at the gate of the Cultural Palace Night School.After I hung up the phone, I couldn't help thinking a bit vulgarly: She just slept with me once and wanted to ask me to do something.

Before leaving get off work in the evening, Liu Minghao called. He knew that Zhong Ning had gone out of town, so he asked me to go to Banana Nightclub to have fun at night. He said that there were several girls from the dance academy going together today. If I went there, he would introduce him. Get to know me.Because I made an appointment with An Xin, I turned Liu Minghao down. I smiled and said, "Your friends are too noisy. I'm too tired from work now, so I want to be quiet after work."Let the gang from the dance academy leave it to you to produce and sell it yourself, as long as you take care not to damage your body.

In the evening, I guessed that the accounting get out of class would be over, so I drove the car to the Cultural Palace as scheduled. When I arrived, An Xin was already waiting by the side of the road. She got into my car without saying a word, and I started the car without saying a word.

After walking for half a street, no one spoke.I was very annoyed, so I opened my mouth first, and said something insignificant: "Why is get out of class over so early today?" An Xin replied with a serious heart: "Ah." Then we seemed to have nothing to say, okay Like a lot of strangers to each other.I drove in silence for a while, this kind of silence made me feel more and more boring, so I spoke again a little bluntly, and asked: "What do you want from me, please tell me." An Xin still bowed her head in silence, I was a little An unhappy sentence came: "I have an appointment tonight, are you okay?" An Xin was obviously a little surprised that I was so impatient, she raised her head to look at me, and I looked straight ahead, not looking she.I heard her say: "I'm fine, you can go to work if you have something to do, just put me on the side of the road." I could hear that she was angry, not only angry, but also a kind of disappointment.I know that I have always paid great attention to my performance in front of her. I have shown my enthusiasm, diligence and patience in front of An Xin. She has never seen me with such a cold face. .

I didn't stop the car. I knew that this was not good for An Xin. It made her feel that I had changed too much, which was not good.I slowed down.

"I've been too busy this time, so I haven't looked for you. Are you angry with me?" "No." An Xin's tone was a little insincere.I said, "I have also called you and looked for you, but you are not here. If you don't believe me, you can ask Uncle Zhang. I went to look for you last night." My explanation sounded quite sincere. An Xin's tone was much better, and she said: "I know you are busy, I really don't want to cause you trouble..." Then I asked again: "You have agreed on what, if I can help, I will definitely help, help If not, I will tell you clearly." An Xin moved her eyes out of the car, breathed a little nervously and said, "Can you lend me some money? I need it urgently." My heart sank, and she finally asked me for it. money!Like the women men often talk about.Although I already knew that An Xin had a man in the past, even though I found out that she had another man last night, but today she asked me for money, no matter what, she still put away my fantasies and good feelings for An Xin, with a bang It broke.I felt very uncomfortable, but I kept my face and asked, "How much do you want?" "Three thousand, okay?" I said without hesitation: "Okay, do you want to buy something? Or do you want to go home? Still have to pay tuition? Is [-] enough?" An Xin avoided my gaze and said, "I really have to, I can't open my mouth for [-]." I thought, yesterday, she probably looked for that man, and in that man's She shed tears in front of her, probably because she asked for money.Maybe the man didn't give enough... "When do you want it?" I asked.The tone already seemed to be discussing business.

"Can you hurry up, I need it urgently." She replied.

I didn't speak, just turned the steering wheel and drove the car home.The rebate of 2 yuan is still at home.

After entering the house, I went into the bedroom and opened the cabinet to get the money. When I took out the money, I saw An Xin standing in the living room waiting eagerly, not even sitting down.I handed her the money.When she took the wad of money, she asked suspiciously: "Three thousand?" I said, "Five thousand."She lowered her head and said, "Thank you, Yang Rui." The moment I gave out the 5000 yuan, I had a feeling in my heart that I was paying for myself, for my day. Pay for that thing you do at night in a cabin of peace of mind.I felt like the money was a deal between the two of us, an end.

An Xin stood opposite me, lowered her head and silently put the money into the backpack as if she had done something wrong, then glanced at me, and said in a low voice: "Yang Rui, I think, some time in a few days, I will I should tell you something about me..." "Is it about you and that Zhang Tiejun?" I deliberately answered her words coldly.

An Xin was stunned for a moment: "No, it's not about him." "Is it about you and another man?" My gaze was like a knife, stabbing An Xin's face unceremoniously.

An Xin also looked at me with a puzzled expression, unable to guess what I said.She tentatively asked: "This kind of thing makes you hate it, doesn't it?" I looked away and said indifferently: "Look at you, you can tell me whatever you want, it's up to you." An Xin's voice was somewhat Shaking, a trembling that she tried to suppress, she opened her mouth for a long time and said, "Yang Rui, I, I thought you would be interested in listening. I always thought that you treat me differently from other men... "I finally couldn't help venting my disappointment: "Anxin, I really like you very much, and I like you because you are different from other girls. But you know that I have a problem. I don’t want to talk about other things with a girl who has money. Because I can’t tell whether she treats me well for money or for feelings. Feelings must be pure, don’t get involved with money, get involved The smell of money is wrong." An Xin listened dumbfounded, and I saw what she wanted to say, to explain or refute, but my last sentence hit her like a stick, a little hard, she turned pale and said Not a word came out.Seeing her like that made me feel a little bit happy, but also a little bit unbearable, and felt a little pity for her.I don't know how to treat An Xin and other girls psychologically. I'm always too soft-hearted.As soon as she took pity on me, I still felt sorry for her, but as soon as she took pity on me, my anger disappeared.So I smiled, relaxed the atmosphere, and said: "Okay, let's meet together when we have time. How about the Jialing Pavilion last time? If you want to tell me, I will listen with all my ears." Tears were shed, but not shed.She smiled too, using it to keep her composure.She said calmly: "I will come to you again and I will return the money to you." She said goodbye and turned to open the door.I asked behind her: "Are you going back to the sports school? I'll see you off." She said no.She didn't stop when she answered, or even look at me again.When she went out, she closed the door softly, so lightly that I didn't even hear the footsteps coming down the stairs, and disappeared so quickly and silently.Standing alone in the living room, I felt that our parting was so sad that people dared not look back.She left without any hesitation, without leaving behind a background of lingering back and forth, leaving one's heart empty, with an inexplicable sense of loss.

It was very late that night and I still drove to Banana Nightclub to find Liu Minghao.I don't want to be home alone on nights like this.I need noise, I need stimulation, I need strangers, I need "ecstasy", I need to get drunk!When I went, Liu Minghao and a group of business friends were already drunk, and there were indeed a few girls around me who could tell they were dancing, and they were all dressed in tight clothes. Hua Guanyue's face and waist like a thin willow figure are no longer interesting.I ignored them, I drank heavily, I danced like crazy, the disco music was banging so hard that I wanted to throw up!
Liu Minghao followed me through the binge drinking, and asked me in a half-drunk voice: "What's the matter, you're so depressed today, did you have a fight with Zhong Ning, huh? Be careful that someone kicks you! Just like you There are plenty of beautiful boys. Look here..." He pointed around: "They are all beautiful guys and girls, it's not rare, don't take yourself too seriously!" I ignored him, drank in a muffled voice, and thought Shaking back and forth to the rhythm of disco, it's like taking cough water ecstasy.Liu Minghao leaned close to my ear, and asked again: "Or else, is there a quarrel with An Xin? Have you dealt with this girl?" My head stopped shaking suddenly, and I frowned and asked in a daze, "Who? "Anxin, that handyman in the Taekwondo club, how is she?" I didn't know what to say, my head continued to shake, and I replied indifferently: "Cough, that's it." Liu Minghao smiled : "Yes, there are plenty of pretty girls, don't be so serious." That's right!That's it!Don't be so serious!This is indeed the rule that Liu Minghao and I, our group, treat girls.I've been serious about An Xin all these years, but it's weird to me, maybe I was too involved at the beginning, and I wanted to let her go but I couldn't let her go.I hate her and despise her in my heart, but I still miss her, miss her, it's like going crazy.

I drank too much in Banana that night, and for several days afterward I had a splitting headache, was in a trance, lost my mind, and my thoughts were always restrained by An Xin.I really want to see her again, even if it means scolding her and making her cry!It's good to see how ashamed she is!
In this way, I became more and more ruthless in my heart, and after a long time, I couldn't help thinking about her goodness, thinking about her difference, and unconsciously wanting to forgive her.Is it rare for a girl like her to have more than one man in her life in this era?I used to get along with many girls, and now I still hide from her that I have another Zhong Ning.You can't reach the realm yourself, so why ask others.I think my anger may be due to a conventional concept-many girls don't like men who are gentlemen, but there is no man who doesn't want women to be as good as jade.So it's not worth making a fuss about a man being playful, but a woman being flirtatious is simply debauchery.This concept also rules me. If the girl I love doesn't respect integrity, I can't accept it. But if I have other feelings, I will be more tolerant to myself.

Pushing myself and him, this matter gradually figured out, once figured out, I really want to see An Xin again.Zhong Ning came back from Nanjing, took her sisters and their grooms back to Beijing, and planned to accompany them to the grasslands of Inner Mongolia for their honeymoon.People in Jiangsu and Zhejiang live too meticulously all their lives, so they yearn for rough and open places like the prairie.Maybe it was instigated by her bride and sisters. As soon as Zhong Ning saw me, he said nonchalantly: "Yang Rui, let's stop standing around like this. Let's just get married. People say Only when a man has a family can he have a sense of responsibility, I think this is very true." At first I thought she was just saying that, so I was a little bit ignorant, besides, I didn't want to make such a hasty decision on my life at all, and I didn't care about starting a family and living a life. She was not mentally prepared at all, and she hadn't even made up her mind about whether to choose Zhong Ning for the rest of her life, even though she was such a rich girl.

Zhong Ning and I interrupted: "Why do you think that when you come out, you come out? Do you sisters wish that people all over the world will accompany her to celebrate the wedding together?" Zhong Ning said, "Hey! Everyone is a man. If you propose to a woman, the woman has to put on airs and hold on, so why are you holding on to me in reverse?" I said, "We are so young, it's not for the people in the company to get married so early. Are you kidding me?" Zhong Ning said, "People say that a man has to be married to be considered an adult. Once you get married, you will be mature, so that you won't grow old like a child. Didn't you hear that in the company? Everyone in the company says you look like my younger brother.” I said disgustedly: “They are jealous!” What I hate most is that people in the company say that I am young. How could Fan become the project manager and deputy commander in chief!Zhong Ning probably also thought of this meaning, she smiled schemingly, and said: "Only when we are really married, those people will not be jealous, and people will not talk about it when we are really married." Said: "I don't want to get married so early and let you manage, I want to be free for another two years." Zhong Ning asked suspiciously: "How can you be free? Are you still going out to pick up girls?" She was taken aback, and quickly covered it up with a smile: "No, no." Zhong Ning narrowed her eyes, and the fierce eyes shot out from the gaps in her eyelids, and her dumb voice came out from between her teeth. She said, "I Tell you Yang Rui, don't think that I don't know anything, Liu Minghao told me everything." Sweat broke out on my back, and I said stiffly: "Listen to Liu Minghao's nonsense! Seeing that I was nervous, Zhong Ning sneered even more.The cat clicked like a mouse: "Okay, then let me ask you, do you know a girl named Beibei? Don't tell me you don't!" Beibei?My heart returned to its place with a bang, I took a deep breath, and cursed angrily: "Liu Minghao is always so full of tongue, she is his girlfriend's cousin, we are together in the bar I drank,...uh, I went out to play once, just once! Last time I saw her again at 'Rolling Stone', I ignored her." Zhong Ning watched my face, I pretended to be angry There is no obvious flaw in the expression.She slowed down her voice and said, "Yang Rui, you don't seem to have made it clear to me whether you love me or not." I put away the grievance on my face and replaced it with a smirk, trying to avoid this sharp question: "Why do you girls have this problem? You just like to listen to those words that make people hate each other. I used to think that you were not as vulgar as them. You don't want to be a big old man who loves and hangs around all day long. How silly it must be on the lips, do you really like that kind of sissy?" Zhong Ning blinked his eyes numbly, a bit speechless.Of course, she doesn't want her boyfriend's character and behavior to be too "creamy", not to mention she thinks my appearance is too feminine.In fact, my eyebrows and eyes are delicate but not feminine. Zhong Ning is purely because she is used to seeing her brother's stupidity, blackness, roughness and ruthlessness, so her vision of men is definitely a bit off.However, my statement about men was obviously accepted by her. She retreated and said: "Yang Rui, you know how I treat you and your father. Don't do anything wrong to me, don't let him Mom, let me catch it!" I kept silent, I hated her always being so condescending and calling herself the benefactor of me and my dad.Yes, I admit, you are kind to us, but you are boring if you keep talking about it.After all, I am a man, and a man has a man's self-esteem.

Based on this, I thought, it would be better to be with An Xin.With An Xin, I can at least have some confidence, a sense of independence, and feel like a man.

The next day my dad called me and asked me to go home.I haven't seen my dad for a long time, so I drove back after work. As soon as I walked in, I could smell the smell of cooking in the house.My dad made my mom take care of him all his life. Once my mom died, my dad couldn't take care of himself at all, and his daily life was messed up.Ever since my dad had the three thousand ocean income every month, he had found a babysitter.The little nanny is very good at cooking, and there are some delicate cold dishes on the table.I walked around the kitchen and saw that there were fish and meat being prepared in the kitchen. I smiled at my dad and said, "You are really thinking about it now. What is delicious?" My dad didn't smile, but asked seriously Me: "Have you been at odds with Zhong Ning again recently, huh?" I suddenly understood what my dad wanted me to do, so I frowned and asked, "What did Zhong Ning say?" You are quite indifferent to her, why are you?" I said: "Who is very indifferent to her." After a pause, I added: "Recently my work is not annoying enough, who can be so old? Serve her with great spirit!" My dad said persuasively: "Although she is the boss of the company, she is a girl after all, and she is young, and she is only 22 years old this year. You should care about her and be considerate of her, right? She is not much older, but you are a man, and this man should take the initiative to take care of the woman. I have lived with your mother for so many years..." I interrupted his "explaining by himself", I said that my mother was with you When you are together, she will serve you!Don't worry about my business, okay? I'm already this old.My dad immediately yelled: I don't care how you grew up!I wiped all the shit you did since you were a child and didn't wipe your ass!I don't like to quarrel with him, so I avoided him and went to the living room, I said it's okay, you can take care of it, I see how long you can take care of it.My dad came over and said: Come Zhong Ning later, treat me like me and don't ignore others, if you mess up, don't blame me for not saving you face.

I was stunned: "Zhong Ning is here too? You asked her to come?" My dad said confidently: "Yes, why can't I ask her to come? This is an opportunity for you to ease the relationship between the two of you. You say you You are so old and you still have to let your father worry about you. Are you as good as you are? If I am going to die, you just wait for a fall!" I said, "Didn't Zhong Ning accompany her to send a child today? Are you going to the Inner Mongolia prairie, and you’re not going again?” “Go, after dinner, you can send her directly to the airport from here, the plane at [-] o’clock in the evening.” I complained to my dad: “The company has a car to take them, why are you so busy? Let me take it off, don't worry about these nosy things in the future, okay, I have other things tonight." My dad stared: "Why are you so ignorant, I spent money and time to cook a table of dishes for you to come , to create an opportunity for you to be nice to Zhong Ning, why don’t you just not know!” We were bickering, when Zhong Ning came and knocked on the door, my dad and I stopped talking.My dad went to open the door, the expression on his face was not completely natural when he greeted Zhong Ning.Zhong Ning didn't know if he noticed it, but he greeted me very affectionately: "Yang Rui, are you making your father angry again?" I said no, and then I didn't say much.My dad also made out to Zhong Ning: "This boy is so stupid, you can learn from it slowly. But Yang Rui has a good heart. If you are really good to him, he will remember it in his heart. This kid just doesn't care. He can say things that people love to listen to, but he never learned it when he was young. When I was with his mother when I was young, I used the same sweet talk, and he didn't pass on any of my advantages." Zhong Ning responded. Following what my father said, he said it to me on purpose: "I know Yang Rui's temper, and I don't care about it. As for men, they have to be somewhat tempered, or they can be called old men. In fact, I am the most bored Yes, it’s those flirtatious men who eat what’s in the bowl, look at what’s in the pot and think about what’s on the stove, and want to cling to a pretty girl when they see a pretty girl. This kind of men and women are annoying.” My dad immediately Seriously said: "Yang Rui doesn't know about this, I know about this, there are many girls chasing Yang Rui, Yang Rui can handle this." Zhong Ning glanced at me and sneered deeply: "Did you hear that, your dad can tell you that you can handle it, and I'll have to check it later." They came and went, flashing their wits, talking inside and outside, and hiding their swords in their smiles.I lowered my head and put the dishes on the table, not saying a word, and my expression was even more noncommittal.Zhong Ning saw that I might be a little unhappy, so he didn't say any more.During the meal, the topic shifted to the north and south, and I also talked about some work-related matters-about the progress of the Guoning Building that my dad was in charge of, and the preparations for the Guoning Taekwondo Hall that I was in charge of, and so on.When we talked about work, our attitude became serious and serious unconsciously. My dad and I were a little respectful as if we were reporting work and accepting instructions. The atmosphere of this family dinner immediately became irrelevant.

After dinner, I sent Zhong Ning to the airport.On the way, I said some thoughtful words to Zhong Ning to pay attention to safety when going out, and to be careful of catching a cold.Only then did Zhong Ning become happy, and said with a smile: "Yang Rui, I have known you for over a year, and I found that you are really cute if you really understand things. Can't you look like an adult in the future? I know I love her." I didn't smile, and I didn't answer her words. I put the steering wheel in my hand, looked ahead, and said, "Come back early, don't let me miss you. You arranged for your sisters to let them stay You can just play there by yourself, do you want to accompany them on their honeymoon?” Zhong Ning smiled: “Hey, the sun is really setting from the east today, so it’s not easy to hear you say this to me "Indeed, I seldom say this kind of sweet talk to Zhong Ning, so these few words have a miraculous effect, Zhong Ning is in a happy mood along the way, and talks a lot more than usual.I sent Zhong Ning to the airport and watched her and her sisters meet up. Someone from the company had already prepared boarding passes for them in advance. I watched them walk towards the security gate.Zhong Ning looked back at me with affection, and I waved goodbye to her.

Coming out of the airport, I didn't go home, and drove the car almost flying on the airport expressway.After exiting the expressway, I drove the car directly to the gate of Dongcheng District Cultural Palace Night School.

After 10 minutes, I saw peace of mind.She walked out of the Palace of Culture building with the crowd in twos and threes after class, and stood on the side of the road thinking about crossing the street.I shook her with the car lights, she turned her head and looked for a long time before she recognized me, hesitated for a while, and got into the car.

As soon as I got in the car, I could see that her expression was unnatural, even a little nervous.Her first sentence said: "I'm sorry, it will take a few days...it will take a few days to return the money to you. I will definitely pay it back, so don't worry." I don't know what to say, she treats me as a This makes me very sad. Could it be that the misunderstanding between us is already so deep!
I was silent for a moment, and this moment of silence represents confession.I said: "Let's not talk about the money, I just want to meet you, I miss you." An Xin froze for a moment, then lowered her head and said, "Oh." I asked, "Do you miss me?" I turned my head to look at her, the white street lamp reflected her face was bloodless, but that paleness was so touchingly beautiful.That kind of beauty makes you feel sad and peaceful, sometimes sad and peaceful are more soul-stirring than all passion and unrestrained!
I lowered my voice, and I didn't even expect that my voice would suddenly become hoarse after I lowered it, as if not being hoarse was not enough to express my inner emotion and anxiety.

"Did you miss me?" I asked her again, but I was disappointed.An Xin shook her head and said: "Oh, no, I'm too busy." I looked at her for a long time, and I said: "But I miss you." She shook her head gently again: "You didn't If you don’t know me, Yang Rui, everything you see is unreal. I’m not the kind of simple girl you want. I’m too complicated. I’ve done many, many wrong things. There are too many troubles, this is not what you want." I started the car and drove to the place where I lived.We didn't speak again all the way.The car drove downstairs to my house, I turned off the engine, and silently said nothing.

An Xin said: "Yang Rui..." I looked at her.

An Xin avoided my gaze, turned her gaze back out of the window, hesitated to speak.

"It's too late, I should go back." She said: "Tomorrow there will be a new beginner class in the gymnasium, and I have to get up early to clean up." I put one hand on her hand, and my right hand held it. She touched her slender left hand, palm to palm, feeling a little hot.Slowly, An Xin's fingertips moved imperceptibly on the back of my hand. It was a very subtle communication, very warm and touching.That feeling is: we are attracted to each other, we all need each other, there should be a kind of passion and emotion between us.I said, "An Xin, you promised me to tell me about you." I asked, "Do you want to tell me?" An Xin turned her head, her face was very calm, so calm that she could hardly see any expression.But her voice, I could hear, contained forgiveness and closeness, and she asked softly, "What do you want to know?" I smiled slightly.

I said: "I want to know, your past, I want to know everything about your past."

(End of this chapter)