Youth Rebellion

Chapter 35 The World Is Gray
After Ruochen returned to school, he seemed to be a different person. He no longer joked with his sisters, and often walked alone. He didn’t even look for his good sisters Yu’er and Tengyun. Even if they came to look for her, Do not participate in their activities.

The third child Nan'er and the fourth child Weiwei who had a good relationship in the dormitory knew that Ruochen had gone to look for Ye Liang, and when they came back, they suddenly became like this. Even a fool could guess what happened, so they didn't dare to ask Ruochen, for fear of touching Ye Liang. To her pain, even if they don't touch it, Ruochen's heart still hurts every day.

Now she is almost getting closer to a scumbag, skipping classes, surfing the Internet, and passing the exam is enough. There is no Zhang Ruochen, a talented girl from Longdu Middle School, and a passerby, Jia Ruochen, is replaced.

But she didn't care, and she didn't want to care.

During that time, if she didn't want to talk, she could stay silent for a whole day, as if she lived in a world of one person, and sometimes she couldn't even notice the existence of other people, because she even forgot about herself!

Most of the time, one person listens to music with earplugs in his ears, and one person can sit alone on the grass in the playground until the sunset and watch the moon and stars rise.

In her eyes, the days are no longer sunny and rainy, and there is no difference between the four seasons, because in Ruochen's eyes, every day is gray, even the world is gray.

The sun rose and set, set and rose again, and the days slipped away in her solitary silence, day after day, and finally a year slipped by.

She wanted to tie a knot in her life and hold on to those days that were worth cherishing and couldn't bear to lose. However, time was always so ruthless, she couldn't keep anything, and the days slipped to the end of the new year.

So Ruochen wanted to follow quietly and drive hard, not to be thrown further away by the days, and not even remember a trace of memory.

It was snowing outside, Ruochen, who loves snow, was not in the mood of being surprised by the crystal clear snowflakes in the past.Suddenly I remembered a sentence from Xiao J: The snow is beautiful, the sky is very cold, it seems that the taste of coldness is wonderful.The snow outside the window is still there, but the leisurely feeling of appreciating the snowman is no longer there.

She withdrew her gaze from staring at Xue, her thoughts were too confused, and she couldn't bear to look any longer, for fear of desecrating Xue's emptiness.

Tears flowed out of the eyes silently, along the face, and turned into the corner of the mouth. Salty, a series of teardrops dripped directly on the book, impregnating Zhang Ailing who was holding it in her hand.

Fangfo saw Zhang Ailing coming from a distance and asked her, "Why are you crying here alone?"

Ruochen said: "Master Zhang, I would like to ask you, what is love? Why do you fall into Hu Lancheng's love that almost destroyed you when you are like an elf?"

"No matter how rational and ruthless a person is, no matter whether it is a man or a woman, once it comes to love, she will lose her reason and judgment, because she has no other people in her eyes and only that person. How can she speak rationally?" Master Zhang said leisurely.

Ruochen wanted to ask her again if she regretted getting acquainted with Hu Lancheng after losing Hu Lancheng, but Master Zhang had already drifted away, leaving Ruochen alone to guess.

Before, every time I saw Li Mochou appear on the stage, I would say "Ask what love is in the world, and only teach life and death to promise each other." I thought it was fake and second. Is it like this to lose a person? Now I finally understand that the second person is' puzzled Taste' also presumptuously comment on others' own.

There is a saying: growth is a deal, we all exchange the courage of growing up with simple innocence and innocent innocence.

Looking at the gradually tarnished and childish face in the mirror, I often wonder why people grow up, and why do they have to pay so much for growing up?

When I was a child, I often looked forward to growing up quickly, because at that time the future was a magical sky for us, full of hope and beauty.Now that I really grow up, I miss my childhood life. Maybe everyone is like this. Only after losing it will I know what is the best for me.

Perhaps the same is true of growth, between gain and loss, exile hope.

Ruochen also wanted to comfort herself to be more open-minded and get out of the life of walking corpses now, but she found that as long as she thought of Ye Liang, she would feel depressed. man.

She even thought that she should just become a monk and cut her hair to become a nun. She would never have to pay attention to these worldly feelings in the world of mortals, and that would be a relief!But every time I think of the mother who has broken her heart and endured hardships for her, I feel so selfish. Is there no one in this world that she misses anymore? Could it be that the mother who gave birth to her and raised her for 20 years is worth it? Ye Liang, who I have known for several years, I am really too selfish, because I ignore many people who care about me alone!
Ruochen decided to go home and take a look, home is a place where he can feel warm no matter what.

Back in the familiar village, I saw many people gathered around the door of my childhood friend Meimei's house, so Ruochen asked her mother as soon as she got home: "What happened to Meimei's house?"

The mother said: "Meimei's mother committed suicide by taking poison last night!"

Ruochen said in surprise, "Why, it was good to see her when I came back last time?"

The mother said: "She thinks too much. Her husband took her son to BJ for an operation. She worried that her son's disease would not be cured, and she herself had a disease that was not easy to treat. After seeing a doctor for their mother and son, the money for her two sons’ marriage has been lost since then, and she feels depressed every day, and she can’t think about many things. Some time ago, someone advised her to believe in Christianity, but she was worried that God would not take her in! She felt that she had no meaning to live anymore, so she committed suicide and felt that she was free! But, has she ever thought about the feelings of her children? How sad the children must be, besides, there is no hurdle that cannot be overcome, As long as a person is energetic, how can he not survive, alas!" Ruochen's mother sighed.

Ruochen stood there in a daze after hearing this, isn't she now gradually driving herself to a dead end, every day she thinks how she will spend the days without Ye Liang in the future, and she also hasn't thought about the feelings of her family, If this continues, even if you don't die, you should escape into Buddhism.

While sitting and chatting with my mother after dinner, I talked about Meimei's mother committing suicide.

My mother said: "In fact, each of us has a lot of hardships. Many people worry about tomorrow's things today, or even next year's things. In fact, what do we want to do so far away? Why do we have to bear today's troubles tomorrow? When you are happy. When you are alive, you must live well, and you must create conditions for this "live well". If you spend half of your life worrying and thinking about things, then you will not have the courage to live anymore! Also, don't Because of the short-term pain in life, unsatisfactory things, or even losing someone you think is very important, you feel that life is meaningless, and it is too selfish to ignore so many people who love you, don’t you think?” Mom After speaking, he looked at Ruochen.

Ruochen thought that maybe her mother already knew about Ye Liang and herself. In the past, Ruochen often mentioned him to her mother, so happy, but now she hasn’t mentioned him for so long, and her spirit is still so decadent. Maybe my mother had noticed it a long time ago, but she didn't ask her explicitly.

Ruochen cried on his mother's shoulder after hearing what his mother said, she didn't say anything, and his mother didn't ask any questions.

Ruochen always knew everything about his mother, her mother was not authoritarian like other mothers, she was kind, understanding the general situation, caring about the overall situation, and very open-minded, which was Ruochen's pride.Later, after graduating, Ruochen wrote an article specially for her mother and published it on the official website of a well-known magazine.It can be seen from the article that her mother had a great influence on Ruochen. In those gloomy days, her words and spirit may have given her the courage to live hard.

(End of this chapter)