fish in the financial tsunami

Chapter 39 Su Xiaoyu's mixed flavors (1)
Between men and women, desire can only be advanced by an inch, but not eternal.

——Su Xiaoyu
1
Afterwards, Su Lei never mentioned that night again, and Su Xiaoyu was the same, I don't know what he thought, but as far as she was concerned, since she was powerless to change all this and couldn't escape, then what's the point of asking the bottom line?
All the things were felt to be earth-shattering at the time, but when I calmed down and thought about it later, it was just an ordinary day, and compared to a lifetime, it was not worth mentioning at all.

But there is always a thorn in my heart, sometimes nightmares in the middle of the night, when I wake up, I still see the pair of people in front of me, he said that things are not what she thinks, then it must not be what she thinks, but she can't control herself , I can't help but not to imagine the doomed future, he said that love will never last, he said that everything has an end, then one day, even if it is not that woman, it will be another person who will take her place , stood beside him, looked at him and smiled.

At that time, what should she do?How did she get out of the body, so as not to let herself be smashed to pieces?
She knew what kind of man he was from the very beginning, and she also thought that this relationship would not last long, as long as she cherished the time together, she could go wherever she could.

But then what?She gradually obsessed with every moment with him, and couldn't imagine life without him. That night was her last struggle. It turned out that she was wrong and she couldn't do it.

Can't let go, can't leave, can't let him disappear in her life, so what else can she do?What else could be done to make a man stay forever?

She couldn't think of a result by herself, and then Su Xiaoyu couldn't help but asked her mother, how did she stay with her father for decades?Mom looked at her with a surprised face, as if she suddenly had a fever and asked such a stupid question.

"We are husband and wife, how can we not be together?"

"What about the beginning, what brought you together?"

This time, Mother Su looked at her daughter carefully before she spoke, "When a person reaches a certain age, he wants to start a family. At that time, he married his father because he was pleasing to the eye. Then he got you again. Isn't it a lifetime in the blink of an eye?"

"Mom, have you ever been afraid?"

"Fear?"

"Well, that..." Not knowing how to express it better, Su Xiaoyu gritted her teeth and finally said it, "I'm afraid I won't be able to live forever."

"I'm married and have children, what else is there to worry about? Who didn't come here like this." The mother answered quickly, took her daughter's hand, frowned and looked at her carefully, "Xiaoyu, why are you so sudden? Remember asking mom these things?"

"No, it's nothing, I just remembered it all of a sudden." Mom's eyes were bright, and Su Xiaoyu was a little flustered, shaking her head and trying to pull her hand back, but she didn't expect her mother to use all ten fingers to grab it even tighter, and asked her again, "Xiaoyu, How have you been with him lately?"

Since seeing Chen Sulei last time, my mother has never really felt at ease. She often stared at her and asked about the progress of the two of them. Later, she began to persuade her to try to date other people, with obvious intentions.

Su Xiaoyu knows what her mother thinks. Her mother has a conservative personality all her life, and her traditional ideas are deeply rooted. She has seen too many disadvantages of being in the wrong family. Compared with her family, Chen Sulei always feels that Chen Sulei is a figure from another world. She is afraid that her daughter will end up with him. In the end, she was hurt in vain, thinking that Su Xiaoyu would find an honest man just like herself, and live a peaceful life for the rest of her life, so she was persuading her openly and secretly not to continue with Chen Sulei.

"Mom, we, we are like that." Not knowing how to answer, Su Xiaoyu continued to mutter.

"I don't think you're very happy recently. Is there something wrong? Xiaoyu, listen to your mother's advice. That man is not suitable for you. If you are unhappy, just say it. What are you afraid of?" She didn't stop asking because of her daughter's retreat. , Mother Su pressed even harder.

What are you afraid of?Not daring to look at her mother anymore, Su Xiaoyu lowered her head and darkened her eyes?

He said, he said from the beginning, Xiaoyu, I want you to be by my side, be happy, if not, you can leave.She shouldn't be afraid of such freedom, but now she is useless, she cannot live without it!

The two have been together for a long time, and she has unknowingly changed her original self. It is not easy to accept a person into her life, and it is even more difficult to separate. Just imagining it makes her breathless. After all, she is not as good as him , can't see through everything.

Dripping water wears stone through, he has changed her invisibly, and she doesn't want to admit it, but she is indeed afraid, afraid of losing, afraid of leaving, afraid of never finding her complete self again.

She didn't dare to tell her mother what she really thought in her heart, and in the end the conversation between Su Xiaoyu's mother and daughter ended with her running away in despair.

2
The New Year's holiday finally came to an end amidst Su Xiaoyu's restlessness. Miss Lisa came back from the United States and took over most of her work. After that, she became very leisurely. Nothing proves that I didn't get paid for nothing.

On Mondays, she arranged the schedule, but of course it was at his order. This morning he made an appointment, just like Sun Dawen and the others before, and had an interview at the company.

Su Xiaoyu had nothing to do, so of course she served tea and water on her own initiative. Later, when everyone left, he didn't leave. She was used to running in and out. Seeing him sitting alone on the sofa using a handheld computer, she couldn't help being surprised asked a question.

"Su Lei, why are you still here?"

Without raising his head, he pointed to the sofa seat beside him with the stylus in his hand, with obvious meaning.

She was confused, and when she walked over, she began to wonder whether because she had been doing nothing in the company recently, her existence value had been greatly reduced, and she might experience another sudden layoff.

Thinking of this, she felt very uneasy when she sat down, and opened her mouth to explain, but he had already raised his eyes, raised his eyebrows, and asked her.

"Where's your book?"

"Ah?" His question was very alien, and Su Xiaoyu couldn't understand it all at once.

"Isn't there a written test coming soon, no need to review?" He looked down at the handheld computer again.

She didn't answer for a moment, she sat on the sofa next to him in a daze for a long time, finally stood up with her head down, went to the small office on the side, took out two thick test preparation books from her bag, and went back to him. I buried my head in reading.

He never walked away, just working beside her, the afternoon sun was just right, and the sofa was spacious and boundless. She studied hard since she was a child, and has always been a model of being able to concentrate on reading as soon as she gets a book, but today, no matter how hard she tried, her mind was distracted and she always endured it. She couldn't help but want to look at him, the two of them were sitting close, all she could see was his calm side face, maybe it was too close, she couldn't see clearly, only felt his outline was blurred, as if melting into the light.

The inexplicable sadness came again. She never thought about what it was for before, but now she finally understood.

It was fear, the fear of losing, holding her heart tightly, and she couldn't let go no matter what.

In the afternoon of the next day, Su Xiaoyu and Yang Yan were looking for information in the municipal library, and at night she dragged them to the nearby Jazz bar to chat.

It was not a weekend, the small bar was very quiet, the female singer sat alone on a high stool and sang soul-stirringly. Both of them were busy, and it had been a long time since they had the opportunity to chat close together like this, and they both ordered a second glass of wine without knowing it.

Feeling bored, Su Xiaoyu has been a little silent all day. Yang Yan took advantage of the interval between songs and asked her, "Xiaoyu, where is your Su Lei? Why haven't you heard him mention him recently?"

Su Xiaoyu was staring at the ice in the glass in a daze, she didn't raise her head when she answered, her eyelashes drooped, she couldn't see her eyes clearly, and said softly, "He's not my Su Lei, don't talk nonsense."

Her voice was too low, so Yang Yan couldn't hear her clearly. She wanted to ask her what she said, but when the phone on the table rang, she frowned when she saw the number, and answered with a perfunctory voice. Yu spread his hands helplessly, looking overwhelmed.

"What's wrong?" Su Xiaoyu asked.

"My blind date, trouble." Yang Yan replied with a frown.

"Are you still on blind dates?" Su Xiaoyu was surprised.

"No, it's the one from before, Dongming's second generation ancestor. My family still has some cooperation projects with their family. It doesn't look good if you tear your face apart. You haven't seen how my mother forced me. If this continues, if I am Zhu Yingtai, Without Liang Shanbo, it can be transformed into a butterfly."

Su Xiaoyu laughed, "It's not that exaggerated."

"To be honest, it doesn't make any difference to me whether I have an MBA degree or not. Anyway, it's a family business. Have any of my cousins ​​studied seriously? Wouldn’t the university diploma be included in the board of directors? If it wasn’t because my mother pushed her too hard, would I be so eager to continue my studies?”

She spoke with a painful face, Su Xiaoyu couldn't help laughing, "So serious? Isn't it just a blind date?"

"It's just a blind date. Look, if it continues like this, maybe one day they will force me to get married. I don't want to stay with that second-generation ancestor for the rest of my life. I tremble when I think about it."

stay together forever...

The smile in Su Xiaoyu's eyes subsided, and she lowered her head to look at the cup in her hand, and then spoke after a while.

"Yang Yan, you don't like him, do you?"

"Nonsense, is it still so painful to like me?" Yang Yan continued to drink.

"Maybe I'll like it later?"

"Impossible." Yang Yan glared at her, then suddenly lowered her eyes and sighed, "Xiaoyu, I know what it's like to like someone, he, no way."

"Yang Yan..." She didn't expect to see such an expression on Yang Yan's face, Su Xiaoyu was stunned.

The singers on the stage began to chant softly again, they were sitting at the bar, the dim yellow lights stopped in front of the narrow table, Yang Yan drank silently, when the glass was empty, she called the bartender to refill, Su Xiaoyu just wanted to stop, She suddenly raised her head and smiled at her, half of her face was in the shadows, always feeling strange.

"Hey, what's that expression on your face? You don't know me anymore?"

"No." Wanting to tell her to stop drinking, but seeing that she didn't look drunk, Su Xiaoyu finally said, "If you get married, you can be together forever? Not necessarily?"

Yang Yan laughed, and stretched out her hand to pat her on the shoulder, "Xiaoyu, I advise you, if you really like Su Lei, get him and get married while he still cares about you."

"..." His shoulders sank, together with Su Xiaoyu's heart, his voice changed slightly when he spoke again, "Why do you have to get married?"

Yang Yan may have really drank a little too much, and it was rare for her to feel emotional. She frowned and answered her, "He is rich! Do you know? A man has everything if he has money. He can do whatever he wants, anyone he wants, What he likes now is you, what about in the future? Who can guarantee it. Let’s just talk about my dad. What is it compared to Chen Sulei? But he has never been a woman since I can remember. In the end, why? It's not because she is his wife."

What she said was the truth, but Su Xiaoyu felt pain in her heart, and she didn't want to listen anymore, so she suggested, "Yang Yan, let's go, it's too late."

Ignoring her, Yang Yan suddenly laughed, and continued on her own, "Xiaoyu, do you know what my mother said? My mother said, so what if he gets mad immediately in another woman's bed? Die I have to build the coffin for him, and hold the ashes in my hand, where can he go!"

"Don't talk about it..." Su Xiaoyu came from an ordinary family, and her parents have been loving all her life. Even if her father almost lost everything in the family at that time, her mother had no intention of leaving her husband, and she still wanted to go to Jinshan to guard the house with him. Warehouse, so in her perception, husband and wife should love each other and support each other. I can't imagine what Yang Yan said. Even if it's just a retelling, I can imagine her mother's desolate gnashing of teeth when she said this. She is useless. I just feel chills all over my body, and I don't want to listen to it anymore.

"Scared you?" Yang Yan smiled, "What is this? Don't you like your Su Lei? Then marry him. If you like him, you can keep him when you get married, and you will be happy when you get married. Yes, even if you are not happy in the future, you will be happy when you divide the property, no matter how bad it is, think about what my mother said."

Being knocked down, Su Xiaoyu suddenly had a sore nose, wanted to speak but couldn't speak, and finally had a severe pain in her throat, so she could only shake her head silently.

Yang Yan didn't speak any more, and seeing that she was already lying on the table silently, it turned out that she was really drunk.

It was her mother who answered the call to Yang Yan's house. She knew that Su Xiaoyu was very polite when she spoke, and asked her why her voice was hoarse, but the driver who drove here was not Yang Yan's driver, but a very young man, laughing It sounded a little naive, saying that he was Yang Yan's boyfriend, and he was careful when helping her up, and his movements were very careful.

Unable to figure out who he is, Su Xiaoyu asked uncertainly after a long time, "You are... Dongming's..."

He nodded with a bright face after listening to half a sentence, and asked her repeatedly if Yang Yan had mentioned him, and finally warmly invited her to get in the car together, and gave her a ride by the way.

The next day Yang Yan called Su Xiaoyu early in the morning and asked her what she said last night. Su Xiaoyu didn't sleep well all night, thinking over and over what she had said, but now she said on the phone I have forgotten, how can I remember so much.

3
In the next period of time, Chen Sulei stayed in Shanghai.

A few more people came to the company, most of them were from his old department in the United States. They have all kinds of skin colors, and there are also Asians. Some even have worked in China for many years. I don’t know what method he used to get all these people together. Together, they still get along very harmoniously, and they look like they are busy every day.

Before and after the new year, Chen Sulei was busy with the debt restructuring of several newly acquired companies, and was preparing to participate in the acquisition of a listed company. The affairs were complicated. Originally, a lot of work was packaged overseas for these people to complete overseas, but now even the people After being transferred, it seems that he is indeed planning to do a big job in the country.

Everyone is busy, only Su Xiaoyu is completely free. Sometimes when he enters the company and sees those experienced professionals, he feels that he is worthless.

Want to ask what he is thinking?I wanted to ask him how he wanted her to deal with herself, but I remembered that I was the one who put forward the request to take the MBA exam. He didn't stop him, and now he gave her plenty of time to prepare. He has already treated her like this. Wouldn't it be unreasonable for her to say something more? ?

And he didn't treat her any differently, he was still gentle and patient, occasionally looking at her in a daze, if she found out, he would smile slightly into her eyes and didn't speak, which made her feel even more at a loss.

A week after the written test, Su Xiaoyu received another call from Tang Zhongwen.

When she left that night, although she was full of confusion, she still heard the last few words he said that night. She didn't think about it at the time, but every time she recalled it, she felt terrified.

It may be that the first impression was too deep. After so long, Tang Zhongwen has not changed much in her mind.

He is her unsmiling immediate boss, the Boss of Wannian Bingshan, she still shudders reflexively when she hears him call her full name, she cheered herself up for a long time before asking him for help, but he suddenly said The few words she said really made her think about it, and she felt incredible.

But no matter how unbelievable, she didn't intend to ask Tang Zhongwen to find out what he meant.

What can I ask?He said it didn't mean that, she would want to hit the wall very much, he said that it meant that, she would want to hit the wall even more, both left and right were going to hit the wall, why should she have trouble with her own head?

Based on the above reasons, after that day, Su Xiaoyu never tried to contact Tang Zhongwen again, and even felt nervous when he saw the hard-won recommendation letter. Unexpectedly, he called her first and asked her about her preparations for the exam. How's it going?Also, is there any problem with the letter of recommendation?
His voice was calm, as if the chaotic reception before and the rainy night after that never happened at all. Su Xiaoyu stuttered a little at first, but then she slowly calmed down, wondering if she was worrying unfoundedly?Why did a man like Tang Zhongwen suddenly become interested in her?
Forget it, being with Chen Sulei has exhausted all the energy she can accumulate as a little fish, and her heart is tired, so even she herself feels much older recently, she is not the heroine of a romance novel, a fragrant flower for everyone Love can never be defeated no matter how it is destroyed...

(End of this chapter)