speak humor, be humorous

Chapter 27 Humor in family life (2)
The love and concern expressed by the husband's humor outweighed any thoughtless reproach.The loving humor makes the wife taste the deep care and feel the incomparable happiness.

The care between husband and wife needs to be expressed in a timely manner. With the help of humor, we can make the one we love feel deep love and warm happiness with a knowing smile.

1 minute of little humor and great wisdom
◎ can't laugh

Old Shen was forced by his wife, so he agreed to go to a photo studio to take photos of the couple.After the cameraman adjusted the camera, he said to Lao Shen: "Sir! You must have a smile on your face." Lao Shen looked at his wife and said, "Please go away for 2 minutes, okay? "

■We take it for granted that our significant other will smile more because of us, but we always accumulate behaviors that make ourselves the one who stops him or her from smiling.

◎ Misunderstanding
My wife likes long-distance running, but some dogs often bark at her.The husband had to follow his wife on a bicycle while she was running, holding a wooden stick in order to beat the dog.One day, a driver saw this scene, looked at his wife running in front of him, and at his husband riding a bicycle with a wooden stick, and couldn't help shouting, "This is real abuse!"

■The truth about marriage is never clear to outsiders.The only thing we should do when dealing with other people's marriages is never to comment.

◎ Think back to the beginning

The wife complained to her husband: "Now you are starting to treat me coldly! How nice you were to me before we got married! If there is a puddle on the road, you will hug me to it. But now you pretend not to see it."

The husband argued: "It's not entirely my fault. At that time, your weight was only half of your current weight!"

■For women, age and appearance are all changing, so a more effective way to keep being loved is to change your own requirements.

◎ Prior request
The husband is a big football fan and is engrossed in watching a football game on TV.

The wife was standing on the ladder painting the wall when she turned to her husband and said, "Honey, if I fall off the ladder, can you call an ambulance for me during the game break?"

■Every woman hopes that her husband loves herself more than football, but in the end we always compromise because we are not sure of victory.In fact, compromise is not necessarily a failure, because we all know that football does not need a husband.

◎ joking
Wife: "Honey, can you go wash the dishes you used last night?"

Husband: "No, I'm not awake yet!"

Wife: "I'm just testing you, but the dishes have already been washed."

Husband: "I'm just joking with you, but I'd love to help you with the work."

Wife: "I'm joking with you too, since you are willing to wash, please do it quickly!"

■Marriage has always cultivated men and women to be resourceful, but this kind of wisdom is often only aimed at each other.

◎ Clean up fallen leaves
Wife: "If our marriages are equal, you should sweep half of the fallen leaves from the ground."

Husband: "The half of the leaf that fell to the ground is yours, my dear, and my half is still on the tree."

■After marriage, husbands always like to reward others for their hard work, but enjoy the hard work given by their wives for granted.What the wives ask for is never asking, but only occasional equality.

◎ common hobbies
A: "Yesterday my wife found out that I hid private money."

B: "Did you quarrel in the end?"

A: "No, she said that after five years of marriage, she finally discovered our only common hobby."

■In marriage, when we find that the other person's behavior is our own behavior, no matter whether this behavior is good or bad, we will be glad that we will no longer be blamed for being wrong.

◎ No need to get married
Tom met his friend Rutis, who was downcast and depressed.

"Ah, my dear friend, what has happened to you?"

"It's still about marriage! Hey, tell me, when is the right time for a man to get married?"

"Because it's you, I'm telling you the truth: If you're young, don't get married; if you're old, don't get married!"

■Every woman always wants to control a man's life through marriage, but in fact, every man is eager to choose his life independently.

◎ Fidelity insurance
A young newlywed woman walks into an office and asks, "Is this the Fidelity Insurance Company?"

"Yes, ma'am."

"Great, I'm going to buy fidelity insurance for my husband."

■Marriage loyalty is always the result of the parties' self-discipline.When a kind of loyalty needs insurance, it only means that what you need is no longer loyalty, but only money for claiming.

◎ limited

Female: "Why did you obey me before you got married, but you fought with me for two and a half days after only three days of marriage."

Man: "Because my patience is limited."

■ "Marriage is the tomb of love", I believe this is only some people's point of view.Even if it is true that love has unfortunately hit the rocks after marriage, it is by no means the marriage itself that should be blamed. It should be love that has gone wrong.

◎ Clothes on credit
Wife: "My dear, to tell you the truth, I owed clothes worth 1 rubles to the fashion house on credit behind your back."

Husband: "Honey, it's okay. As long as you pay without telling me!"

■There is no end to women's love of beauty. For their husbands, this is a joyful and worrying thing-who doesn't want their wives to stand in front of others beautifully, but who doesn't feel sorry for their pockets? What about the money?

◎ Trail
Marriage may be a road to happiness, but the paths leading to quiet places on both sides of the road may be more attractive.

■The forbidden fruit, which is beautiful and ready to drop, has attracted many people to flock to it, and then exiled the followers to the wilderness with overwhelming momentum, to bear the everlasting desolation and loneliness.

◎ Barriers to marriage

One day, a beautiful woman approached her lawyer and said, "I have something to ask you."

"What is it?" asked the lawyer solemnly.

"I love a gentleman, and he loves me. Both our parents approve of our marriage, and we have the confidence to make a happy married life."

"Then there is no problem," the lawyer was puzzled. "Why don't you marry him?"

"But," stammered the pretty woman, "I don't know what to say to my husband!"

■ Marriage has nothing to do with love.You can't fall in love with only one person in your life, but you can only marry one person.

◎ Dig one in the cemetery

A: "I want to find a wife who can cook, wash clothes, and tidy up the room without smoking or getting angry."

B: "Then you have to dig one in the cemetery."

■The disorder of the division of labor between men and women is the main source of confusion in love and crisis in marriage in modern society.

◎ As a last resort
A lady took a drunk husband to the pastor and asked the pastor to witness the marriage.

The pastor said: "He is so drunk, how can I get married? Please come another day?"

The young lady looked sad and said, "Master, if he is not drunk, he will never marry me."

■Don't force a marriage. A forced marriage is a cup of bitter wine brewed for yourself, and you have to taste it yourself in the end.

◎ Get rid of tricks
A woman whose looks and temper are worthless asks her girlfriend: "Is there any way to force the man I hate to stop chasing me?"

Girlfriend said: "Marry him."

"I marry him?"

"Yes, I can guarantee that if you marry him, he will file for divorce within two days."

■When you are in love, you should pay attention to whether the other party is sincere. After marriage, you should pay attention to whether the other party has a sense of responsibility.A marriage without responsibility cannot last long.

◎ really nervous
Mr.: "Honey, how can you spend my hard-earned money so easily!"

Wife: "Husband, I was very nervous when I used the money!"

Mister: "Honey, I was wrong to blame you, but where did you spend your money?"

Wife: "Playing cards!"

Mr.: "If you spend so much money all at once, you will be nervous!"

Wife: "I'm really nervous!"

■Respect for others' labor achievements is the greatest respect for others.

◎ Why do you have to be lonely

In the evening, the wife said to her husband: "Honey, don't go to the pub today? I'm too lonely at home by myself."

"I can understand that, Elisa. But if I stay at home, it will be lonely for both of us."

■Our biggest rival in love is not a third party, but time.

◎ Life without a wife

Two men are talking about their wives.

Man A: "Have you ever thought about how you would live without her?"

Man B: "Less expenses."

■Material life is not the only content of marriage. After all, people cannot live by eating alone.

◎ The opposite is true
Wife: "You are so dishonest. Every time I see a beautiful woman, I almost forget that I am married!"

Husband: "On the contrary, every time I see a beautiful woman, the most unforgettable thing in my heart is that I am married."

■A philosopher once said that the nature of human beings is to constantly transcend, to seek new and different.As far as marriage is concerned, people may not be able to focus love and sex on a certain person forever. Although "the sky lasts forever" and "the sea is dry and the stone is rotten" express people's good wishes, they are not realistic.

◎ Relive the old love
A couple was about to go to bed when they suddenly found that the building was on fire. The two panicked and ran out through the smoke-filled corridor.At this time, the husband accidentally discovered that his wife had a sweet smile that he had never seen in recent years.

"My God! What time is it now, you can still laugh!" the husband asked in amazement.

"I'm so happy!" My wife said with a smile, "This is the first time you've gone out with me in five years!"

■Marriage is the tomb of love, but without marriage, love will die without a burial place.

◎ Is it sincere
The witness asked the groom: "Do you really love the bride?"

Groom: "Of course, it is sincere."

"Bride, are you willing to follow your husband forever, until death?"

Bride: "No, I can't follow him door-to-door to deliver the mail every day."

■The reason why marriage needs notarization, in addition to endowing it with solemn legal significance, also exposes the fact that marriage is indeed done for others to see to a certain extent.Just like fighting corruption under the supervision of the law, marriage should also avoid emotional derailment under the public opinion of the masses.

◎ Competition
A wedding ceremony is being held in the church, and someone quietly asks, "Why do the bride and groom hold hands?"

"It's a habit, like two boxers shake hands before a fight."

■If love is a capture, then marriage may be likened to a game.If we can all treat our marriage with prudence, the quality of marriage will improve a lot.

◎ dress fabric
The wife bought a piece of pure white fabric for an evening dress.She happily showed it to her husband who was studying, and asked softly, "Do you like this piece of fabric?"

The husband casually replied, "Very well, our sheets are so old!"

■A rational-thinking husband pays more attention to the common things of the family, while an emotional wife pays more attention to herself. Even if there is a common romance, there will be differences in this respect.

◎ Fierce horses and harnessing

"Socrates' wife" is synonymous with a shrew and a bad wife.This woman is narrow-minded and stubborn, nagging and swearing all day long.It is said that Socrates married her to purify his soul from her annoying nagging.Someone asked Socrates: "Why did you marry such a lady?" Socrates replied: "A person who is good at equestrianism always chooses a strong horse to ride. If you are used to riding a strong horse, it is easy to drive other horses. If I If I can bear such a woman, I am afraid there will be no difficult person in the world."

Once, his wife threw water on his head after losing her temper.Socrates said indifferently: "I know that after the thunder, there will inevitably be a heavy rain."

■Be sure to get married: marry a good woman, you will be very happy; marry a bad woman, you will become a philosopher.Marriage is such a school: men lose their bachelors, women gain their masters.

◎ Reason for not getting married
A young man asked an old bachelor: "Old man, why haven't you married yet?"

"Alas, young man, do you know? When I was young, I made up my mind not to find a thoughtful woman and never marry. After many years, I finally found such a woman. However, she refused For me, she said she was looking for a thinking man."

■Many older single youths have repeatedly missed out because of their stubborn search conditions.In fact, if you don't meet the person you think is the most perfect until the last stage of your life, or create a perfect life with a person who is not perfect, which is more valuable.Sometimes, we need to think about our marriage more rationally.

◎ The girl my grandfather married
I asked a young guy if he planned to get married.

He said to me, "I'm going to stay single until I meet the same girl my grandfather married."

"But girls are a lot different these days," I warned him.

"Of course it's different," he said. "Grandfather married her yesterday. They met at a disco."

■Some people say that marriage has nothing to do with love, and some people say that marriage has nothing to do with age.Although we don't understand what determines marriage, one thing is for sure, in this increasingly commodified society, marriage must be related to utility.

◎ make him difficult
Mrs. Flinder insisted on having an artist paint a bust of her.

"In the painting, I want to wear a diamond necklace, an emerald bracelet, a solid gold earring and a ruby ​​pendant." She said firmly to the painter.

"Madam, but you don't actually wear these valuable items." The painter said seriously.

"Never mind that," said Mrs. Flinder. "I have my reasons for doing it. I am not in very good health, and I am afraid that if I die before my husband, who is sure to marry soon A young and beautiful woman for his wife. With this picture, it will be difficult for him to explain to the bride what happened to these valuables."

■People say, "A better husband is better than a wife". When the feelings are not pure, those impure places are the price we have to pay in the future, even though we didn't show it at the time.

◎ The day after the sentence is over
The wife woke up in the middle of the night and found that her husband was not around.She looked around, and then heard sobbing in the basement.The wife found her husband sobbing alone in the basement.

"what happened to you?"

"Do you remember 20 years ago, I impregnated you?"

"remember."

"Your father threatened me, either marry you or go to jail."

"Yes."

"If I go to jail, I should be released at midnight today."

■A happy marriage is like riding a roller coaster, happy forever; an unhappy marriage is like being sentenced to life imprisonment, and the days feel like years.

◎ There is a donkey
There is a couple who often quarrel.One day, after a fierce quarrel, the husband said, "Why on earth is this? Can't we be like two horses pulling the chariot of life forward?"

The wife retorted: "That's impossible."

"why?"

"Because one of us is a donkey."

■People say that marriages of "the right family" still make sense.If the gap between husband and wife is too large, they will not be able to get together at all.Even together, it won't last long.

◎ Will
In 1841, Heine married Eugenie, a saleswoman in a leather goods store in Paris.It's an unfortunate combination.Eugenie was uneducated, ignorant and vain.Heine's love for her has not been able to make her overcome her own shortcomings.When the poet was dying, he left all his property to her on the condition that she must marry another person.

"That way, at least one person will feel sorry for my death," Heine explained.

■"It's easy to change the country, but hard to change the nature." For love and marriage, you must find someone who suits you, and don't change someone to suit you.

◎ careless professor

Professor Fielding has always been careless.His wife asked him to drop a bag of rubbish into the waste bin outside the building, but he confusedly carried it onto the subway, then to the laboratory, and finally returned home with it.

The wife was taken aback: "What are you carrying?"

Fielding said, "Oh, I forgot to take out the trash."

The wife took a look and was even more surprised: "Where did you get a pack of ham?"

■Confused people are everywhere. Although it is rare to be confused, it is not a very comfortable thing to meet a husband who is confused in life.Fortunately, if he is not confused about feelings, the rest is to explain things clearly.

(End of this chapter)