I heard that you are always alone

Chapter 10 Leave Everything to Blank

In the hall of the award ceremony of the International Fashion Culture Festival, under the gorgeous crystal chandelier, there are rows of luxurious red seats.

I put on gorgeous heavy makeup and a pure black low-cut dress, and sat under the stage next to Ou Yao.

The first time I participated in such a feast, I seemed a little apprehensive and uneasy.

With slightly sweaty palms, Ou Yao turned his head, looked at me with a smile, and gave me a positive look.

Until the host was on stage, he read: "The Best Fashion Newcomer Award of the Year-Jiuyue!"

My face instantly appeared on the big screen on the stage. I raised my head and stood up. Ou Yao shook my hand tightly again, so I felt that my eyes were confident and calm at that moment.

Walk slowly towards the podium.

The host smiled and said congratulations to me, and said to the audience with a smile: "I invite our award presenter—Mr. XX, Chairman of XX Group..."

A fat middle-aged man came up to the stage, shook my hand, and handed me the trophy.Under the spotlight, I think everyone's eyes are on me at this moment, but this evening dress was given to me by Shi Beicheng that day.

Holding the transparent crystal cup tightly, I lowered my head to pick up the microphone handed over by the host, only to realize that I was still wearing the ring he gave me on my finger.

The host said in an almost teasing tone: "Miss Jiuyue, the design inspiration in the movie "Firework" is fresh and beautiful, yet luxurious and delicate. If there is no emotion in it, it may be difficult to design such a moving design." work."

After hearing this, I was slightly taken aback, but just smiled awkwardly, and replied, "This is thanks to my boss, Mr. Ou Yao."

When the host heard this, he became even more interested, and immediately asked: "Ou Yao? So is your relationship related to him?"

I hurriedly explained: "No, I am very grateful to him for giving me a lot of space for free expression so that I can have a steady stream of creative inspiration, so I am very grateful for his trust and care for me."

After finishing speaking, I bowed deeply to the auditorium and looked at Ou Yao's position. He gave me a thumbs up. He, Shi Beicheng.

He sat quietly in the first row of guest seats, next to Mu Linxi who was as noble as a peacock.

He looked at me, eyes met, for a moment, I turned my head quickly, looked at the host, and listened to her speech.

Until the host said thank you, I turned around and left, as if possessed, I gave him another look.

He just sat there quietly, without saying a word, the audience applauded thunderously, but he smiled all the time in the seat, but his smile was so bleak.

That's how we are, looking at each other superficially, but for a few seconds, it tells me that we have completely become two worlds.

The evening is a celebratory reception.The location is set at Socrates, where we often go.

Both Xiaoqing and Xiangnan were present, as well as several other close colleagues. They stood up and raised their glasses to congratulate me.

Xiaoqing brought her new rich second-generation boyfriend, a man of refined appearance, but in his twenties, with skin so good that even women are jealous.

Xiaoqing introduced to us and said, "This is my boyfriend, Qiao Ming."

Then he took Xiangnan and me and told him, this is my best friend and so on.

We both looked at him with a smile, like looking at our own son-in-law.

People say that no coincidence makes a book.

In another private room on the same floor, there was another party attended by Shi Beicheng.

Qiao Ming went to the bathroom halfway, and when he came back, Shi Beicheng followed behind him.

When I saw him, I felt cold fingers instantly.He also saw me and Xiaoqing, raised his hand, pointed at Qiao Ming, and said as if explaining: "I just met Qiao Ming, so you must bring me over for a drink or two."

Qiao Ming's eyes widened and he asked me, "Do you know each other?"

He nodded, "Well, it's considered acquaintance." He turned to look at Xiaoqing and smiled, "Are you okay?"

As if deliberately ignoring my existence, there was nothing but humming in my ears in an instant.

At this time, a colleague happened to come over. She was not very familiar with her on weekdays, but she was very enchanting. When she saw Shi Beicheng, she immediately said "Yeah", and then walked over with her body swaying gracefully.

"Master Master, you're here!" She looked at Shi Beicheng and greeted him warmly.

Shi Beicheng nodded slightly, then turned his head to look at me, as if he had something to say, but was interrupted by that woman suddenly: "Hey, Master Master, why is he so free today? Does Mr. Ou want you?" Came here to congratulate?"

Shi Beicheng raised his head and saw Ou Yao not far away holding a glass of wine to accept the staff's congratulations, with a tired smile on his face.So he smiled as an answer.

Then the woman chatted with him for a few more words. Seeing that they were chatting enthusiastically, I stopped interrupting. I bowed slightly and took a few steps back, followed Xiaoqing and the others. Qiao Ming kept shouting from behind: "Hey, hey!" Xiaoqing, how did you know each other? You didn't have anything to do with him, did you?"

Xiaoqing turned her head and glared at him: "Am I that kind of person? What can I have with him?"

"That's not necessarily true. Look at his eyes just now, he has been looking at you..."

Xiaoqing was annoyed, and raised her foot to kick him: "You don't understand your buddy yet? If he can take a fancy to me, why should I ask you?"

"Hey! Ji Xiaoqing, so you really like him!" Qiao Ming said with a sad face, the more he thought about it, the more he felt that his suspicion was right, so he kept asking more and more.

I saw them like a pair of happy lovers, and I couldn't help standing aside and smiling silly, this kind of love is also pretty good, at least, you can say what you want, ask what you want, there is no need for two people to guess and guess, like a game , It's like a war, and in the end both sides will suffer, and they don't know what the other party is thinking.

I was envious of the relationship between these two people, but suddenly heard Qiao Ming's devastating words. It was not his woman Ji Xiaoqing who was familiar with these words, but me who was silent at the side.

He said: "Stop wishful thinking. It's not like you haven't heard of Shi Beicheng's girlfriend. Mu Linxi, the daughter of the Mu family enterprise, has a good family background and a good face. I heard my dad talk about their two families a few days ago. I've been discussing marriage recently, hehe, Xiaoqing, you can't be careless in your heart anymore, and you can only have me alone!"

When Xiaoqing heard this, she quickly glanced at me, and said without thinking: "Fart, don't mention that woman to me, how can she be so good?"

Xiaoqing is worthy of being my best friend, but in Qiao Ming's eyes, his taste changed even more. He was joking, but now he suddenly became serious, "Ji Xiaoqing, are you really..."

"What a fart! Don't mess around, don't talk about him anymore, does it have anything to do with us?"

Looking from a distance, Shi Beicheng finally broke free from the woman, and was walking towards Qiao Ming who pulled him in. I think this Qiao Ming is also unreliable. The field ran around.

I suddenly felt bored, and in order to avoid the embarrassing face-to-face with him, I walked out alone and stood at the door to breathe. On the night of early spring, the breeze blowing made me very comfortable, soft and soft, like a transparent sheet The gauze, wrapped around my body, instantly felt a lot more comfortable.

Not long after, I received a text message from Ou Yao, he said: Where are you?
I said: Breathe outside.

He said: Don't run around, wait for me there.

I closed the phone cover and thought, where can I go.So I stood there and continued to look at the sky. A few minutes later, Ou Yao came out, stood silently beside me, and lit a cigarette.

Maybe it was because of drinking, my head was a little groggy, and my slightly drunken state made me talk more, I said: "Mr. Ou, thank you very much."

"Your thank you say too much, I don't need it."

I turned my head and looked at him. Every time I looked at this man carefully, I thought he was very handsome, but my heart couldn't move.No matter how nice he is to me, it turns out that I am really not a member of the Appearance Association.

"Mr. Ou, have you ever been in a relationship before?" I asked.

He smiled, but it was so bitter: "Of course, I'm not gay."

"But I always feel that you have always been alone. You see, you have had no scandals for so long, and the only time it was because of me... I am really sorry for causing you to be involved in negative news... ..."

"I hope that's true." He interrupted me suddenly, looking at me intently, "Jiuyue, why, can't I?"

I gasped, why did he bring up this topic again.

But I didn't know what to say, so I could only stare blankly at him, and then my eyes were sore, because I suddenly saw Shi Beicheng behind him, this lingering man.

I looked at him and said, "Mr. Ou, let's go back to drink."

Ou Yao is inexplicable, and I am even more inexplicable to myself, why do I use Ou Yao every time.

There is soothing and melodious music in the private room, and if you accidentally meet the eyes of master Bei Cheng, he is still so good-looking.

He drank a lot of wine that night, but he didn't get drunk no matter how much he drank. He kept talking and laughing with Ou Yao, while he kept drinking with Qiao Ming.

In the end, when the show ended, he was so drunk that he fell asleep on the table. Qiao Ming pulled him, but he kept chanting: Jiuyue, Jiuyue, Jiuyue...

My heart throbbed, Qiao Ming raised his head and saw me, and suddenly understood the reason for the incident. He turned his head and looked at Xiaoqing, who hugged her shoulders and glared at him. He scratched his head and was not very kind to me. Naturally said: "So, you and him..."

"I have nothing to do with him." I said coldly, "Xiaoqing, please send him back..."

"No, Jiuyue, I want to go home with you, Jiuyue, let's go home together..." Shi Beicheng yelled while lying on the table with his eyes closed.

Qiao Ming had nothing to do with him. In the end, Ou Yao helped him up and said to me, "Let's go, let's send him back."

I nodded and followed him out.

Ou Yao was driving the car, and I showed the way familiarly. When he arrived at the door, he saw me lowered my head and took out the door key again. I smiled at him: "The old one, I forgot to give it to him."

Ou Yao didn't speak, and silently carried the drunk Shi Beicheng upstairs and threw him on the bed.

I said, "Let's go."

"Jiuyue, don't go!" He suddenly grabbed my hand, his voice almost choked with sobs.

I stood there stupidly, with my back to the direction where he was lying on his stomach, tears streaming down my face. However, I drank too much alcohol, and a sudden nausea rushed into my chest. I covered my mouth and ran to the bathroom. I vomited for a long time, but no matter what not come out.

Finally, I lay down on the toilet and cried loudly. After a long time, Ou Yao helped me up, and I followed him into the car.

"Mr. Ou, why, why are you being so nice to me?"

His brows were lightly raised, and he only said lightly: "My life is not good."

Then the two of them didn't speak any more, a long and distant English song sounded in the car, the lights outside the car window were brilliant, and the night in Beijing was always sleepless like this.

It was already two o'clock at night when I got home. I felt tired after the day, took off my shoes and fell asleep without taking a shower.Meng Zhongshi Bei Cheng kept dragging my steps, begging not to let me go, I smiled cruelly, without even feeling sorry for him.

When I woke up the next day, I had a headache, my stomach hurt, and even my breasts were swollen and sore. I hurriedly got up and looked through the calendar, only to suddenly realize that last month’s menstruation hadn’t come yet, and it had been delayed for more than [-] days. I had a bad premonition, so I ran out without washing my face, found a pharmacy, and hurriedly bought two boxes of early pregnancy test strips to go home.

I, who had never used this thing before, was uneasy, and I didn't really trust this thing in my heart.

But there was no other way but to hide in the bathroom and sit on the toilet.

The test results made me very desperate. For a long time, I didn't know whether to cry or laugh, but the tears kept falling, hitting the back of my hand one after another, and I was flustered and confused.

After sitting on the bed in a daze for an hour, I called Xiangnan, and I said, "Xiangnan seems to be pregnant, what should I do?"

On the other end of the phone, she was silent for a few seconds, and suddenly asked me in a very high-decibel voice: "What are you talking about? Are you crazy? Whose child are you pregnant with? Ou Yao's?"

I thought about it and said, "Master Bei inherited it."

She was silent for a few more seconds, and asked me: "Didn't you break up? Are you still struggling?"

"No," I said, "just before we broke up, after my crash."

"Then what should I do?" Xiangnan was also a little at a loss, "Do you want to destroy it?"

"No." I said firmly, "I can't kill my son even if I am killed."

"Then let's have a showdown with him?"

"No." I said, "If you kill me and my son, I won't look for him either."

"Then what are you going to do? My eldest lady, are you going to be a single mother? Or, do you expect a man who likes to have a green head to accept your mother and child?"

I'm silent, here's the question, what do I do?I couldn't even afford to support myself, and there was a vegetative father at home who couldn't even say that he couldn't move. Could it be that I wanted to go back to my stepfather's house with a big belly and beg my mother to take me and her grandson who didn't know where it came from?

I was stunned, holding the phone for a long time without knowing what to say, only to hear Xiangnan keep saying on the other end of the phone: "Jiuyue, stop thinking about it, come out, let's meet and talk."

So I sorted out my mood and went out at night to the restaurant I had an appointment with Xiangnan Xiaoqing. When they saw me, they immediately stood up and greeted me. One was on the left and the other was on the right. He murmured: "Mother-to-be, be careful when walking!"

I thought it was just irony. I sneered a few times with the corners of my mouth pulled, and then my lower abdomen swelled again. I sat down and drank two large glasses of water in one go before I slowly recovered.

"If you want me to say, destroy it." Xiangnan said.

"No, after giving birth, this is your capital to win Shi Beicheng back, or, after ten months, you directly bring the child to Shi Jingchun and tell him that this is his grandson, I think, everything you can't The reason for being together will no longer exist." Xiaoqing is still a teacher from the North School.

"Don't be too simple. Isn't Shi Beicheng's mother a living example? So what if she gave birth to a son? In a wealthy family, only the son can enter the door after giving birth to a son. Isn't his mother still hiding outside alone? If you can't find a man who loves and spoils you, and can't stay with her husband every day, if you let Jiuyue give birth, how will she live in the future?" Xiangnan brought up a very real and tragic example.

"That's his father, Shi Beicheng can't do it, he loves Jiuyue in the first place." Xiao Qing continued to trust Shi Beicheng.

"He still loved Mu Linxi, but now?"

"That's Mu Linxi's useless man who can't look down on her!"

"When a man cheats, it's usually the man himself who wants to cheat, no matter who the woman is or not."

"Don't put the responsibility of a man's cheating on them. If he loves that woman enough, if that woman has her own charm and methods, I don't believe that love will be like this in the end!" flushed.

"Think about it, if Xiaoyue doesn't want this child, she can still be with Ou Yao in the future and live a better life!"

"Okay, stop arguing." I stood up and felt a headache, "Yes, what you said is correct, but no matter what, I can't be with Shi Beicheng anymore. Now that the ending is like this, I will If you can’t give up your own child, then you have to give birth and raise it alone.”

The two of them looked at me blankly, and I sat down again, wondering if the chili was too hot and my eyes hurt, but I never cried.

If you figure it out, everything will be fine.They come, the security.

If you think about it this way, you won’t feel so sad. It’s useless to think that there must be a way for a car to reach the mountain, and for a boat to reach the bridge.

From now on, live a good life, live hard, and live a positive life; from now on, only look at the beauty of this world every day, and don't think about those worries.

When I went out, I raised my head, the night was as thick as juice, and I couldn’t help stroking my lower abdomen. Although it was less than a month old, it was extremely miraculous. I felt that a beautiful life was being bred here.

That is the child I inherited from Shi Bei.

He has an award-winning designer mother and a handsome father who is well-known in the jewelry industry.

What a happy child, even if you don't know who your father is after you are born, please believe that your parents are two wonderful and deeply loving people.

I turned my head to look at Xiaoqing and Xiangnan, my eyes were firm and warm, as if my whole person had added a layer of brilliance in the dark night.

I want to be strong, brave and independent.

However, this kind of happiness and firmness endured hardships and tests all the time. Shi Beicheng appeared in front of me again. As Qiao Ming said, he and Mu Linxi were engaged.

It was raining lightly that day, and I came back from the hospital for a check-up, carrying an umbrella and worrying a lot. I accidentally raised my head and bumped into him and her.

Not far in front of me, walking forward with his back to me, he held an umbrella, tall, handsome back, she was under the umbrella, holding his arm gently.

It seems that the whole world is silent, as if there are only three of us in the whole world.I followed behind them step by step. There were continuous car horns on both sides. Bitter mood and longing, I still have your continuation, Shi Beicheng, you don’t know, I am pregnant with your child, when he grows up, maybe he will be like you.

I don't know how long I followed them, the umbrella was too small, the rain hit my face, I rubbed my eyes, then looked up, they had disappeared into the crowd.

I went to the hospital several times for examination, because it is a specialized hospital, most pregnant women in the vicinity will choose this one, so the doctor's attitude is always lukewarm.

I waited for a long time outside the door with the list, but there was no serial number, and no one called me.

So I timidly followed a woman with a big belly into it, and there were many people standing inside. After a long time, the doctor asked me without looking up: "What's wrong with you?"

I said, "Eight weeks pregnant, stomach ache."

"Go take your blood pressure."

"Where is the blood pressure room?"

The doctor lowered his head and wrote the list, ignoring me.

I cleared my throat and asked again: "Excuse me, where is the blood pressure room?"

"Go out and look for it yourself, didn't you see that there are people with big bellies waiting here?"

"Are you stupid? I'll take you there." Suddenly, a male voice sounded behind me, and I turned around in surprise. Ou Yao was standing so straight behind me. Will appear here, quickly gestured to him to let him go out quickly, and pointed to the "Men Stop" sign standing at the door.

He just laughed.

At the same time, the cold-faced doctor also heard his voice in a pile of lists, and immediately reacted, shouting in a high-pitched voice: "Hey, hey, hey! Didn't you see the man stop? You can't come in here, get out, get out!"

"I'm sorry, doctor, I'm worried about my wife, so I came in to take a look." Ou Yao stuck out his tongue and looked at the middle-aged female doctor playfully.Unexpectedly, as soon as the female doctor looked up and saw him, she immediately became gentle, "That, that's okay, you can take her there to measure her blood pressure first, then come back and show it to me, and I'll show it to her."

"Okay, thank you doctor."

I walked out with him, and before I recovered, I opened my mouth wide and looked at him, speechless for a long time.

"Are you planning to give birth to this child alone and raise him silently, so that he will never know who his father is?" he asked.

I am still speechless.

"Let's go, let's check your blood pressure first."

I gratefully followed his steps, and when I came to the middle of the corridor, there was a smell of potion, and I suddenly vomited a few times. Ou Yao quickly patted my back, I lowered my head, my bangs blocked my eyes, and asked him: "I am like this, Don't you mind too?"

"do not mind."

"But I don't mind." I said, raised my face and looked at him squarely, "I'm in a mess right now, aren't I?"

"Fortunately."

When he was talking, he kept looking straight at me. I was wearing an apricot-colored loose chiffon shirt, white cropped pants, and my hair was cut with thick bangs. I might look younger.

He suddenly smiled slightly, showing a row of white teeth.After a long time, he suddenly lowered his head and put his hands on my shoulders: "Jiuyue, don't support it alone, it's too hard, you still have me to rely on."

It's not that I wasn't moved, but I still smiled lightly and shouted, "Let's go, go to the blood pressure room."

There were not many people in the blood pressure room, so the blood pressure measurement was taken after waiting for a while. He had been sitting quietly on a chair outside, and I looked back at him. He looked like a father.

After returning home, he invited me to drink fish soup. He carefully poured out such a large bowl, put it in front of me, and ordered me: "Drink it all, I'm pregnant, drink more fish soup and bone soup."

I obediently drank it all in one gulp, the last sip of soup stuck in my throat, and suddenly remembered the way Shi Beicheng got into the kitchen not long ago and made soup for me wearing an apron. Thinking like this, I suddenly lost my appetite.

"Xiaoyue," Ou Yao said suddenly, as if he was struggling to think about whether to tell me something.

I said: "You tell me."

"No matter what happens, you have to be like this, strong, independent, don't feel sad for others, even if you are alone, you will take care of the baby well."

I was baffled, but I still nodded. Although a kind of fear and anxiety suddenly increased in my heart, I changed my mind again. Now, for me, what else is there that I can't get through?

No big deal.

When I went to work the next day, Ou Yao asked his secretary to deliver a package to me. I opened it and saw that it was full of vitamins, folic acid and other essentials that needed to be supplemented in the early stages of pregnancy. I loosened my hand and the bag fell on the table. Tears came silently. Falling down, Ou Yao, why do you treat me so well? How can I deserve you to treat me so well?

Feeling stuffy and out of breath, I took out my cell phone and wanted to call Xiangnan or Xiaoqing and ask them to come out and accompany me.

However, when his eyes inadvertently stayed on the newspaper of that day, he suddenly felt a sharp pain in his heart. There was such a large photo in the newspaper. Shi Beicheng and Mu Linxi sat in front of many reporters and answered some questions from the reporters.

The content is: rich second-generation teacher Bei Cheng's fiancée Mu Linxi has been pregnant for one month, so the original wedding date will be held ahead of schedule, and Mu Linxi will temporarily put aside the work of Katie's diary and go home to raise her baby with peace of mind. It is reported that the teacher Bei Cheng paid special attention to his first son, and the rumors about the third party before were also self-defeating. The two admitted frankly that those were all misunderstandings, and their relationship will have this child as a testimony, and there has never been a crack in their relationship.

My fingers froze there for a long, long time, and I didn't move.

It took a long time before I came back to my senses. I touched my belly that hadn’t changed yet. Tears kept falling on my face. It was icy and cold. At this moment, I felt that I was on the verge of collapse.

In the newspaper, he smiled so beautifully, and Mu Linxi on the left smiled so contentedly.

And I, pregnant with an unknown child, thought that I would give birth to him with peace of mind, the only flesh and blood that belonged to Shi Beicheng, whether he knew it or not. Refundable.

The surrounding area was very quiet, and I remembered what Ou Yao said yesterday: "No matter what happens, you have to be like this, strong, independent, don't feel sad for others, even if you are alone, you will take good care of the fetus .”

It turned out that he knew it a long time ago, how could he not know?
A burst of unexplained vomiting forced me to quickly run to the bathroom. I vomited for a long time, as if I was going to vomit out all my internal organs. I flashed my former self in my mind during the vomiting. A year ago, when I was Before being abandoned by Fu Heng, those days of luxury and luxury in Milan seemed to be irreversible. At that time, I was so casual, so chic, so fearless, and I could play all over the world with high heels. At nightclubs in Milan, when I was drunk, Fu Heng would take me home, cover me with a quilt gently, and call Chengzi, Xiaoqing and Xiangnan when I was bored.

Cheng Zi, I miss you so much, Xiaoqing, I miss you too, and Xiangnan, and the past Jiuyue.

I don't know how long I have vomited, I was so sad that I burst into tears on the toilet, if I hadn't fallen in love with Master Bei Cheng, I wouldn't be what I am now.

However, his high-spirited appearance, his deep, hoarse and gentle voice, his sad eyes, his black coat... There is no one place that I don't miss.

The craziest thing I miss is Shi Beicheng.

As if going crazy, she ran out the door, completely forgetting that she was pregnant with a child for nearly two months.I ran up to a colleague, panting heavily, and shouted, "Anna, lend me your car."

Li Anna raised her head, looked at me in a hurry, and quickly asked me what happened.

I said, "It's okay, let me use it."

She took out the key and looked at me strangely, but I disappeared from her sight in a flash.

I want to see Shi Beicheng, I really want to tell him that I am also pregnant with your child, what should I do?
The car got on the highway and drove all the way to his home, but Xu Shi ran too intensely just now, and his stomach suddenly hurt so badly, but I thought, I will see Shi Beicheng soon, even though I knew I was sweating profusely from the pain, but I still held the steering wheel tightly and drove patiently.

The last consciousness was an instinctive screeching sound of sudden braking. I stopped the car on the empty and deserted highway, and a warm current slid through my lower body.

I was taken to the hospital by a stranger, and it was already noon the next day when I woke up.I suddenly remembered the car I borrowed, and when I asked about the kind person, he just shook his head with guilt on his face: "I also saw you suddenly stopped on the road and knocked on the car window for a long time. You lay still on your stomach, so I pulled It was only when I opened the door that you saw blood under your skirt, without even thinking about it, I carried you into my car and pulled you over..."

But, child...

child!And my child!

I am really not a qualified mother. The first thing I did when I woke up was to think about the car and forget about my child. I quickly grabbed his hand and asked, "Uncle, where is my child?"

He shook his head pityingly, and said softly, "The doctor said, it's gone."

"Gone?"

Gone?

My baby is gone!My last thought, my child who was as handsome and beautiful as Shi Beicheng is gone!

"So miss, do you want to call the police?"

"Call the police? Why call the police if the child is gone?"

"I mean the car..."

"The child is gone, what do you need a car for?" I yelled, and then suddenly remembered that the person in front of me was my savior after all, even though I didn't want him to save me deep down, since the child was gone, then I If you die, you will die.

But politeness is there after all, I paused and said, "I'm sorry, uncle, thank you for saving me."

"It's okay, I understand your feelings. My wife also had a miscarriage before, but don't be too sad, take care of your health, and there will be more in the future-by the way, what is your husband's phone number? I will call Him, ask him to take care of you. It’s been two days, he must be very worried.”

"No," I shook my head, "he's not in the country."

"Oh." The man sighed in disappointment, then smiled: "So, where is your friend's phone number?"

friend?

"No need," I said, "I'm fine. I'll go back when I'm discharged from the hospital. Thank you."

I lay in a daze on the hospital bed for several days, I didn't want to contact anyone, I just wanted to be alone.A person is quiet, pretending to have no troubles, pretending to be on vacation.

Even though he was on the hospital bed, his stomach hurt like hell, his body was weak and his face was even paler.

I never thought that my disappearance would make people frantically search all over Beijing. I was depressed because of the miscarriage, and my mind went blank for a while, and my mind was always in a trance.

In the dark night, I always feel that there is a familiar breath blowing around me, and when I turn over, it is empty.

It turns out that it is so simple for two people to become one.

It was a sunny afternoon on the day I was discharged from the hospital.May Day is coming soon, and the spring in Beijing is very short. I raised my head and squinted my eyes to look at the sky, thinking, maybe it will be summer soon.

Sitting on a bench outside the hospital, a pregnant woman with a big belly sits on the opposite bench, reading a book, listening to music, with her mobile phone next to her, occasionally picking it up to send a text message, the happiness on her face is So peaceful and simple.

In fact, I also thought about such a day.

Basking in the sun, listening to music, reading books, and living the purest life.

Yes, if you can go back to that kind of life, even if you don't have the person you miss the most, it doesn't matter.

Seeing so many people talking about Shi Beicheng and Mu Linxi's wedding date, seeing him eagerly wanting to announce to the world how much he loves this woman, my heart feels like I'm drowning and I can't breathe, Mu Linxi, this outstanding woman Women have always made him proud. He expects that when the whole world envies him for having a woman, this is true love.

Instead of blindly avoiding like us, using lies to cover up our shameful and pitiful love.

My baby was gone before he was born, even before his father knew he had been here.

The night before I left Beijing, I turned on my phone, and there were all text messages from Ou Yao. He asked me where I was over and over again. I held back tears and called my mother. When the voice on the other end of the phone came, I instantly I broke down, tears poured out, for a long time, I didn't speak, only heard my mother kept asking: "Hello? Is it Xiaoyue? Xiaoyue? Talk!"

In the end, I still didn’t speak. I was afraid that if I made a sound, she would be more worried about me, so I hung up the phone silently, and then called Aunt Chen to ask her to take care of my dad. I will be on a business trip for a while, and the money will be sent on time. .

Finally turned off the phone, Shi Beicheng, goodbye.

I love you so much, but you don't belong to me, no matter how hard I try and struggle, it can only be fearless suffering.Such a relationship is worse than letting go.

The next day, I stood at the crowded airport with a ticket to Vienna, and I told myself that this was not cowardice, not running away, but leaving gracefully.I want to live a quiet life, just like when I came back to Beijing from Milan, I thought I would live a different life after leaving that heartless man, but who would have expected that love would be so uncaring Me, this time, I can only leave Beijing, the place where Shi Beicheng's name exists.

(End of this chapter)