When love meets psychology
Chapter 1 Start with love, learn your way of love
Chapter 1 Start with love, learn your way of love
what is love?If psychology were to tell you, love has three lovely ingredients—intimacy, passion, and commitment.
Intimate lovers understand, support, share and care for each other, and the language symbols flowing between them are difficult for outsiders to understand and intervene.Passion is desire, longing, infatuation. When you fall in love with someone, besides caressing, you have many kinds of intense needs and sacrifices, which all belong to passion.Finally, there is commitment, which allows us to see not only the past and present of love, but also the future, where there is a sense of security and a longing for happiness that each of us needs.
Before falling in love, you have to ask yourself: What kind of love do I need?Which one is my love lesson?
1.Love quiz - what "love" have you misunderstood
I was drinking afternoon tea in an open-air square in London, and I saw two young men and women. The girl had a standard Asian complexion, dressed in avant-garde fashion, and the man was a typical European face, wearing a baseball cap.The two were arguing loudly.In the end, the girl ignored the man, pushed away the man's strong shoulders, shouted: "It's over!", then turned around and strode away with her long hair shaking.
The man stood very depressed in the middle of the square, and the passers-by around him occasionally looked back at him.His expression was very painful.This exotic love seems to have come to an end.
He turned his head and found that I was looking at him. For two or three seconds, he stared at me blankly, his eyes were out of focus.When I wondered if I was going to call a security guard for this gentleman, he suddenly grinned helplessly at me, and then said in Chinese that I could understand: "I really shouldn't be looking for you girls from the East." .”
Heh, if a relationship fails, a man will attribute all his faults to "repentance". He shouldn't have a transnational relationship, and shouldn't find an oriental woman... In the future, he may see us oriental faces active in the square and streets. I'm afraid.
What exactly is love?
I have received countless letters from men and women in love. Some of them have been in love several times, some have just lost their love, and some are experiencing the "bottleneck period" of their relationship with their regular lovers... Anyway, they still hold on to love. Have a hopeful and optimistic attitude.
Love is a mediation
Life is empty, find a partner, a cup of coffee, a movie, a trip to pass the time.
love is exciting
Go to the bar to get drunk, find a man and woman who are also looking for excitement like you, and have a "one-night stand" with him (her).Wake up early in the morning, open different doors on the left and right to leave, and you may never meet again in the rest of your life.
love is fantasy
Men and women who have never been in love very much want to get rid of the status quo of life through a relationship.But once they fell in love, they asked in turn: "Is this love? God, it's not the same as imagined."
"So what kind of relationship do you want?" I asked.
"Like in the movie, the boyfriend drove the girl through the streets and alleys, and the girl held an umbrella for him. The two walked through a very quiet boulevard in tacit understanding and saw beautiful scenery." The girl said with longing .
"What about the reality? Is your current love life as beautiful as you said?"
"Of course not." The girl immediately slumped and shook her head, "Very disappointed. He has a lot of entertainment every day, and he locks himself in his room to play games when he is free. I asked him to go for a walk with me, but he refused... There are always all kinds of excuses to perfuse me every time."
"Is this love?" She turned her face and asked me very confused.
I don't know how to answer her.Saying "yes" is afraid of hurting her confidence in love; saying "no" may really destroy a relationship that has been established with great difficulty.
"Love is not what you think." It can only be explained in such a general way-men in love are still rational, but women have become very emotional.
Love is not adjustment, not stimulation, not imagination.
First of all, once you are in love, you have to adjust the state of "love" as soon as possible, and learn to find out the "way of love" that affects you from the existing love experience while learning to fall in love.
We might as well take a look at the following incisive love questions and answers, so as to gain the "knowledge" of love from them.
Q1 Does falling in love stem from the similarity or complementarity of two personalities?
The most common form of love is the capture and chase between the sexes.Interpersonal goodwill can convey powerful power to each other, so that it can make up for the lack of objective conditions.It is similarity, not complementarity, that brings people together.Similarity mainly includes the degree of matching in three aspects: values and personality, interests and experience, and interpersonal style.Among them, interpersonal style is the most important relationship predictor. Interacting with people with different interpersonal communication styles will cause frustration and less possibility of further development.
Q2 Does love depend on "chasing"?
True love does not require "chasing".The tacit understanding between the two slowly shortened the distance between the two hearts, and gradually approached each other unconsciously.From the moment you fell in love with him, maybe he also fell in love with you at that moment, love with the same rhythm can often play the most harmonious and beautiful movement.
Q3 What should true love look like?
Two people together are relaxed, carefree, and stress-free.
Q4 To love someone is to give without reservation?
of course not.Everyone is an individual, and so are men and women in love.Just because you have a boyfriend, you can't rely on him too much. Men are very disgusted with this.Likewise, just because you love him doesn't mean you dedicate yourself to him without reservation.First of all, we belong to ourselves, we have thoughts, we have personality, and we can have appropriate reservations when dealing with the object of love.
Q5 Which is more important to a girl, appearance or personality?
Girls often ask this question.Do men like girls more for their beauty, or her personality more.How to answer this?Movies, TV, books, and magazines often tell young girls that personality is the most critical factor in determining a relationship, but many books and magazines still spare no effort to recommend various brand-name cosmetics and clothes to you—why?The answer is that girls' beauty is also very important!At least, in reality, the single rate of beautiful women tends to be relatively low.Because, the beautiful famous flowers are all picked by the butterflies rushing to come!
Q6 I want to fall in love quickly!What to do, I'm already 20 years old, and my sister Tao's boyfriend has changed several times.
Only 20 years old? !God, my dear girl, you are too eager to fall in love.If you want to fall in love, it's not good to be too eager.What's more, you are still too early to be 30 years old.In the United States and the United Kingdom, I have seen too many women in their thirties who are still single. I asked them why they still don’t talk about boyfriends?They asked back, how can we talk if the time is not up?Look, what a group of calm women.I want to tell the children who have just passed the age of 20: There is no rush to fall in love.One is that the more you want it, the less you can get it; the other is that it is hard to cherish when you get it, and it comes and goes quickly.If the water flows longer, the love will last longer.
Q7 How should two people get along when they are in love?
The most important thing for two people in love to get along is to trust each other, understand each other, and know how to tolerate each other.Some people say that the beauty of a woman comes from a tolerant heart.
Q8 Is true love only once in a lifetime?
True love needs to be discovered.Often your first love will be very pure, but it does not mean that it is only this time.You will experience many loves in your life, but there are usually only two that can make you fall in love: one is when you muster up the courage to fall in love with the person you like, and the other is when you make up your mind to marry the person you love.
Q9 Falling in love with someone is because you are used to this person?
There is no one that we must have in our life. Loving someone is actually getting used to this person in many cases.
Q10 Reality or romance, which kind of love is more reliable?
Reality.Romance without a basis in reality is a castle in the air.The love in college often ends with graduation, mostly because they have to compromise with reality because they are separated from each other.It is an empty saying that distance produces beauty. Only those who are close to each other and understand each other will collide with the spark of love and bear the sweet fruit of love.
The above ten questions about "love" we will all encounter in real love life.When you are not sure, you might as well take it out for reference.Being in love is not as simple as you think, and it's certainly not terribly complicated.You read a lot of love books and want to get the answer of love from them; you often have this kind of confusion about love, listen to too many love songs, worry about gains and losses; you will ask questions, where is the person you love so much...
Is it because you need to find someone who loves you so much that you fall in love?But when the other party asks you what is considered to be very loving, you can't answer him, because you don't know yourself.Before falling in love, we always thought that we would find someone who we love very much.But later, when we suddenly look back, we realize how naive we were.If you have never started, how do you know if you will love that person very much?In fact, the feeling of loving very much can only be discovered after experiencing many things together.Perhaps everyone hopes to be able to find a [-]% lover in their minds, but have you ever thought about whether there will be someone who has silently paid for you for a long time by your side, but you just didn't realize it?
So girls, stop complaining that no one loves you yet, or how long you have to wait for your Prince Charming... Don't blame your current "he" for not being your ideal Mr.Right!When you can't sleep in the middle of the night, pick up your mobile phone, at least one person you can call without worrying that he will think you disturbed his sleep.
What is love?
When you ask "love" questions, you might as well sit down and think back to the interactions in your life.Who do you remember, what were you with him... no doubt, you loved.When you love again, remember, don't repeat the mistakes of the past, the person in front of you is no longer the "he" you used to be, and it is impossible to be the school idol you had a crush on when you were a girl.Therefore, please breathe with your heart, put aside distracting thoughts, and invest in a love that makes each other's hearts beat.
2.Love, you're wrong to think so
You say to a man, "Honey, I love you. My whole life is meant to be yours. I love everything about you. No matter what happens to you, no matter what happens to me, no matter what happens in this world, I will always love you." You, I will never leave you forever."
You speak so sincerely that you almost move yourself.How do you expect the other person to react?Should he embrace you with open arms and have a romantic French kiss, or ask him to kneel down and take out a three-carat diamond ring to propose to you...
A girl wrote an E-mail to me: Angela, I have been in love with a boy for three years, he is by my side, we go to and from get off work every day, I follow him into the same subway, and secretly follow him home after getting off the subway at the same station ...I did everything I could, but I don't know how to tell him...he doesn't even know who I am...
When I just received this E-mail, I was really, really surprised.This has not been encountered in the thousands of "love answer" letters I have received.The girls around me have all kinds of skin colors, there are oriental girls who are small and sweet, and there are hot and unrestrained western girls. They give me the impression that love comes too easily and is too intense.
I asked the girl: how did you know him?Are you taking the same train?
No.She told me that the encounter with this boy was very coincidental.She had been secretly in love with this boy since she was in college, but he had a girlfriend at that time.She had a crush on him for three years until the boy graduated.Later, she learned that the boy went to Z City, and after graduation, she resolutely went to Z City.
I don't know what motivates a girl to throw herself into this seemingly hopeless love without thinking about anything.However, she was lucky enough to meet him on the same subway.
It stands to reason that if the girl uses snacks to create a "chance encounter" with the boy in the subway, then the next love will be very likely.
Here comes a question: Does the boy have a girlfriend now?
If he had a girlfriend, the difficulty of this relationship would seem to be very high.
I then asked her on MSN: Does the boy you have a crush on have a girlfriend now?
She answered me with certainty: no.
I have been secretly in love with this person for three years, so what are you waiting for!Chased him to the same city again, and tried to create a chance to meet him, why didn't he do it?
Perhaps, I said the word "start" with a bit of conspiracy, but for anyone, this is a love that pays more than gains.
Oriental girls are often ashamed to say "love" when facing the person they like.The most common way to express it is with a love letter.They often list all the advantages of the boy they like first, first tell him how destined the two are, and what attracts them to the other party... A smarter girl will pay more attention to it, for example, the two people have the same hobbies , favorite movies or music, worshiping the same idol, liking the same place, etc.Until the end of a letter, a heart will be drawn in the lower right corner with a very shallow handwriting, or the sentence "I love you" will be written...
Western girls, however, are the complete opposite.They often say "love" out loud, first say "I love you" to the boy they like, and then tell him why they like him.
well, let's get back to business.My reply to the girl was: How much do you love him?
This is a very serious question.Because, if you don't love him enough, there is no need to spend so much thought, or even take everything you have.
This world needs love, but it is also very realistic.I say this not to advise girls to take love more realistically, but to tell you: fall in love rationally.
If you think about an unforgettable love that lasts forever, then I tell you, love, you are wrong to think this way-men don’t need love that lasts forever.
So, when you say to him "I love you, no matter what happens in this world, I will always love you and will never leave you", you will most likely not get hugs, dream kisses and rings , On the contrary, what you greet is likely to be the man's expression of being at a loss and escaping eyes.He even spread his hands, shrugged at you, and then found an excuse to run away.
After reading this, you may be dumbfounded.It's not like that in the movie.Honey, that's the movie.Please don't doubt my assertion, this kind of thing is too common in real life.And you are the only one who really enters the show.
The belonging of women is love, so what they spend their whole life chasing is a reliable man, or a reliable oath.They love vows, and they'd give anything for it, even if it's mostly a lie.They long for strong, even tragic love, and they will not hesitate to pay the price of their lives.Therefore, they like to talk about forever and ever, and to continue their relationship in the next life.Like he died for you, or you died for him.They feel that love can be equivalent to life, and the interests of love are above all else.So the more they talk about the love of life and death, the more they can be regarded as the expression of true love.
The fundamental nature of a man is to seek excitement.They hate responsibility, especially when everyone is asking them to.Life is heavy enough for them, and they want to find lightness and excitement.So, when you talk to them about your whole life or lock your whole life into a relationship, what arouses their gratitude is not their desire, but their desire to escape.They'd rather hear, "You're such a fun guy, I feel great with you," than "Honey, I want to be with you forever, forever."
They don't want to be sad, they don't want to live from life to life, and they don't want to lock in a lifetime coupon for going to bed.They want you to compliment them on how manly they are, how funny they are, how sexy they are...they want to live in the moment.Otherwise, if the suspense is gone, they will feel boring.
Think about how many women have been touched by "Titanic"...and men, they would rather shut up in the room and watch an AV film than spend money to watch box office movies with their girlfriends.Because they only like to regard love as a thrill-seeking pastime, mostly to satisfy their physical needs.
A woman asks a man, "Honey, do you love me or not?"
What makes them crazy is why the man is so stingy to say the word "love" when he has already gone to bed.
Is "love" so hard to say?
This is the complaint and confusion I hear the most from female readers.How can I give them satisfactory answers?
A very good female friend of mine, of course, she is also my reader.She has been in love countless times. Since middle school, changing boyfriends is like changing her most proud bra. 36, 37, 38... The boyfriend's condition is just like her expanding bust, becoming more and more positive.
However, she told me she has no love.She said she was the unluckiest of the sisters.I asked her why.She said that the boyfriends she got were not reliable.
She gave me an example: her boyfriend who just broke up, and they dated for more than half a year.This man was the most satisfying to her so far. He had a decent job, was handsome, well-educated, and a gentleman.She had always been used to being unscrupulous, but in a blink of an eye it was the age to talk about marriage, and this handsome and rich man moved her heart.She didn't want a flash marriage, but she wanted to marry him as soon as she had been in love for more than six months.
The man gave her a Cartier diamond ring.He is a jewelry designer, which makes her face.She thought that this was a show of love, or even a marriage proposal... She gave up many bad habits for him, stopped going to nightclubs, and even specially dealt with the previous piercing tattoos.She wanted to be a girlfriend who satisfied him, and a wife who would make him feel at ease in the future.
However, one night, after their usual passion, she suddenly asked him with great interest: "Do you love me?"
The man fell silent.
She asked again unwillingly, and the man smoked and said, "Why are you asking such a boring question?"
boring?She wanted to laugh then.She told me afterwards that she would remember him all her life when he uttered those words with annoyance.
She didn't end the relationship just like that.But the man's indifference made her sensitive. Maybe he was just a new taste for a while when he was with her. Let's see if the famous "extraordinary woman" in her circle will become a "good girl" for love...
Before proposing to break up, she once again asked the man hopefully: "Are we in love like this? You give me gifts, watch movies with me, take me to a high-end hotel... This is considered love, right?"
The man frowned again, and he looked at her with a very disgusted look: "There are too many women who asked me to do this. Are all of them in love? If you think it is a love, then it is..."
In communication, the initiative of action is often in the hands of men. They decide the beginning and end of the relationship, and even the rhythm of the whole relationship. They also control it very well.But what about women?A woman's only right to love is empty talk: if you think it's a love affair, so be it.
She said that she would never marry in her whole life, and just played around in the world like this.
I can't change her view of love, because real love hurts her too much.In love, women are often the weak ones.Please don't doubt the credibility of this sentence, it is true.
My friend, because she takes love too seriously, she looks cynical on the surface, but she is very serious in her bones.She thought she had found true love, that she could finally stop looking for love and find a reliable man to marry, but that man shattered all her hopes with just one sentence.
No one will love you forever.If you think there is any undying love in this world, then you are very wrong.If you think that what was played in "Titanic" is true, that the man finally gave his life for the woman, and the woman will remember him forever, then you can only say that you are in the play.
We often don't understand the promise of love.
If there is a person who promises to be good to you forever and never abandon you, I am willing to believe it.Because we have the ability to do it, we can control our behavior, no matter what kind of situation happens, we can treat a person consistently and stay with him forever.
But if someone promises to love you forever, sorry, I don't believe it.Because we don't have the ability to control our emotions, especially love.We can't force ourselves to fall in love with someone, nor can we force ourselves to stop loving someone.So, in a way, it's not us who control love, it's love that controls us.
Girls, when you say you love someone very much, I can't help but ask: How much will you pay for this love?
He made you lose everything, he hurt you, he made you lose confidence in the future... Will you still love him consistently?
The word "love" is easy to say.However, it is also difficult to speak.
There is a song called "Love You Is Hard to Say", which is when love is deep.Conversely, it is hard to say it, maybe because I don't know if it is "love" or not, and I don't know whether to say it to add trouble to each other.
This is a man's love, you have to learn to accept it.
We can say love to a person who doesn't love willfully, we can also care for a man diligently every day, and use every detail to express love... But it doesn't mean that this is love.
You lost yourself in the fog of love.You think love is what you think it is, but it's not.For love, too many wrong understandings guide you away from the direction of finding true love.
It tells you that you can only love one person in your life.
But the reality is, we can fall in love with many people.We don't like someone, we like a certain type of person.The person who came first met us, so we came together happily.This is the so-called, "find the right person at the right time", then you are the lucky one in love.
It tells you that there will be a lifetime of love.
In fact, love can be discussed several times, and sparks of passion can also happen from time to time.The most important thing is your attitude of devotion. The first love is precious to you because it was the first time you devoted yourself wholeheartedly. After the second time, the third time... Slowly, you become tired and think Love is nothing more than that.When you lose your passion for love, you naturally feel that being in love will no longer bring any unforgettable feelings.You take it for granted that there is only one true love, and that is your first love.
It tells you that two people can still be friends after breaking up.
For this case, I am quite repulsive.My character is like this, when it is broken, it is broken, especially when it comes to emotions.Foreign girls have a very "violent" free and easy character, which I appreciate very much.Whether it's a cross-border relationship, a year-end relationship, or any new and exciting relationship, they devote themselves wholeheartedly, and they don't drag their feet afterward.The most taboo in love is repeated, broken ties, which is not fair to the lovers you meet in the future.I have seen too many examples of old love rekindling and going to bed after breaking up. It’s okay to be unmarried. If it’s a couple, but one day after breaking up, the original wife suddenly becomes an extramarital affair. Thinking about it, it’s unbelievable.
Although I grew up abroad and received a Western education, I still prefer a more peaceful love.Love is mutual tolerance. For the person you love, you can't think about possessing him for the rest of your life. "One day, we may be separated."You have to have this sense of crisis early on.
And when it comes to love in love, please bear in mind, "It is not we who control love, but love that controls us."So, since we are guided and controlled by love, how can we easily commit to future love?
Promises sound beautiful, but they are not reliable.So, don't be fooled by promises that lack action.
If one day, the one you love betrays the promise you made at the beginning, then please forgive him.Because realistic promises can't be taken seriously, at least, you can't take it forever.If this man didn't cheat you, he just couldn't keep it, then please don't be serious with the past vows, just keep your love well.
There will be many unexpected situations in love. Sometimes what you see may not be the essence of the matter. It will blind your eyes, make you preoccupied and evade reality.
My opinion is to keep a normal heart in love.Think about it, how many couples in the world are facing the end of breaking up every day, how many unrequited love people are facing the dilemma of failing to confess their love, and how many single men and women are still struggling to find their future partner... If you already have The other half, you will be a few percent of these happiness probabilities...
So, please cherish the love you have now. In love, you should keep a grateful and tolerant heart.
3.The Perfect Girlfriend in the Eyes of a Man
Men are selfish.
As a woman, you must regard this sentence as your motto in life, just like "there are no ugly women in the world, only lazy women" and keep it in your heart.
Ok, when you know that "men are all selfish", don't say it in public, even your girlfriends.What you should do is how to master the "selfish" characteristics of men, and be a shrewd woman who protects herself and confuses him.Please don't doubt the charm of the word "smart", just look at the two sisters S in Taiwan, big and small, in Taiwan. Their reputation as "smart" among women has spread to the other side of the ocean.
When I was drinking coffee on the streets of New York, flipping through the new issue of fashion magazines, there were still those familiar faces, those boring guides that taught women how to look good and how to break into the upper class of the United States... I don’t deny that these things teach girls to be beautiful. Magazines that are beautiful and money-worshiping have their advantages, but the premise is that you have the strength to do what they say.
What is the perfect woman in the eyes of a man?
Once when I was flying back to Taiwan, passing by the airport bookstore, I saw a book teaching girls how to beautify themselves, which was written by Big S.In Taiwan, Big S' reputation is far inferior to that of her younger sister, Little S.Girls all over Taiwan, including us immigrant Chinese girls, are very envious of Xiao S's good marriage.It is true that she has experienced the tragedies of failed relationships and being teased by others before, but now she is happily married to a good husband, her relationship with her mother-in-law is so enviable, and she has given birth to two children for her husband's family.Take ordinary women as an example, Xiao S is already very happy.
I opened the book casually, and suddenly heard a mother and daughter whispering beside me.My mother is only in her early forties, and her daughter is only in her teens, a precocious age.
The mother said to her daughter: "Look, my elder sister is the king of beauty. She looks so beautiful, and my younger sister is so capable. The husband she married is the envy of all Taiwanese girls. Their mother is really amazing. They have brought up such an outstanding couple. Daughter. Mom doesn’t expect you to be successful in the future, but you must be a woman among women and firmly grasp your own happiness.”
I was very surprised at the way the mother and daughter communicated, so I sneaked a glance at the silent girl with her head bowed. Her long hair covered half of her face. I didn't know if she was beautiful or not.But I'm sure this girl is very pleasing.Her mother should be very demanding of her, instilling the concept of "woman" and "how to be a woman" early on.
There is a Chinese folk saying: It is better for a girl to marry well than to do well.Girls are younger and can choose their favorite boyfriend at will, but slowly, as they get older, for example, how should I choose my ideal partner?
Older, Brad.Pitt was chained by Julie, Cruise married one after another, and Beckham had a strong Mrs. Beckham.A little younger, Orlando, the elf prince who fascinates millions of girls.Bloom has also been married in a flash, and the remaining British aristocrat, Jude Law, is also married, and children are born one after another... What should you do?
If you are still dreaming of a teenage dream that will never come true, it is better to spend more time and effort to transform yourself into another Marilyn.Monroe or Lin Chiling.
What does a perfect girlfriend look like in a man's eyes?
First up is the looks, undeniably.
Men are carnivorous animals, and they pay attention to the first sight.Which girl does not dream of Prince Charming, and so do men.One is a dream and the other is reality.Otherwise, how could the popularity of models and pornstars be so high?
However, you will also say that not every woman is a natural stunner. If the breasts and sexy lips of 36 are not favored by God, they are "nurtured" the day after tomorrow.Please note that this is just your wishful thinking. Men love beautiful and sexy girls, but they prefer to try new things.A selfish man loves to play, but he will not bring home a woman who loves to play. First of all, he has to choose his girlfriend carefully in terms of appearance.
I did a survey, what kind of girlfriend do men like?The answer you get will surprise you as a girl, and even hide a little joy in your heart-it turns out that falling in love is not what you think, and neither is the man you fall in love with!
smooth skin
White and tender skin is always flattering, because it looks easy to get close to, and men think that fair skin is usually tender and smooth, so it is correct to say that white skin can cover all ugliness.
smiling lips
little cherry mouth?Sexy thick lips?Or is it nice to have sharp lips?This is actually not the point.Men sometimes rely on their feelings. A smiling mouth looks good no matter how you look at it.
soft long hair
Men always like their girlfriends to have flowing long hair, and silky straight hair will make men think you are more gentle and ladylike!
flowy skirt
Men like their girlfriends to wear flowing skirts, thinking that they look like a girl, neat and tidy.Most men don't appreciate rumpled clothing, and you, don't be unconventional.
clean nails
Although manicures are popular, men still love their girlfriends to have natural, clean and neat nails, probably because they are afraid that if they irritate their girlfriends, they will be caught by her long nails.
high heels lady
Men think that those who wear high heels are ladies. Although they like lovers like little wild cats in their hearts, it is better for real girlfriends to walk gracefully in high heels.But if the woman is taller than him in high heels, he will definitely feel aggrieved.
teary eyed
The watery, talking eyes are particularly endearing, and there is a feeling of being a little bird.On the contrary, even if you have a pair of big eyes, but sharp eyes, it will give a man a sense of oppression that is not easy to get close to.
light makeup
Men don't like to Kiss with red lips covered in lip gloss (maybe they are afraid of being laughed at by other girlfriends when they turn around and date), and light makeup makes it easier for them to see your true face.
elegant body fragrance
A man will feel very comfortable holding his girlfriend's fragrant body, but he should refuse strong and pungent fragrance, otherwise it will violate their ideal image of a perfect girlfriend.
Even body
Do guys like girls with big boobs?Let me tell you, crispy breasts are not popular these days.They like their girlfriends to be well-proportioned, and they should not be overweight, as being skinny will turn them off.The point is that you have what men don't have, that is, the so-called chest, waist and hips, but don't exaggerate, as long as you have.
Slender limbs
Men naturally like women with slender limbs, and thick calves are a nightmare for them.If possible, they will try to avoid girls with thick legs as girlfriends.However, many girls now have well-developed limbs, and the men have to obey obediently.
——The above is the ideal appearance of a perfect girlfriend that more than 80% of men agreed upon after investigation.
Maybe you will be surprised and express disbelief.Aren't men very flamboyant and flamboyant? Their criteria for choosing a mate are also very traditional.But, my dear, this is a survey of Eastern men, and in the West, there are a lot of unrestrained men.Moreover, Western aesthetic standards are quite different from traditional Eastern ones.
However, the country is easy to change and the nature is hard to change. In any case, men are picky ghosts who are careful and budgetary. It is impossible for them to accept an ordinary girlfriend. Even if they accept it, it is because they do not have the confidence and strength to have a better one.
A married girlfriend of mine told me that she tattooed her wedding vows on her body the day before her wedding—"planning to divorce at any time."Not long after they got married, her tattoo was discovered by her husband. He was very angry at the time, but he still held back and asked her what was going on.She replied: "I don't have any beauty that fascinates you, and I don't have any wealth that can compete with you. How can I tie you down?"
My husband couldn't laugh or cry at the time, thinking she was very naive.But after slowly recollecting it, this man who is invincible in business and in love feels that he has married a smart and sensible wife.He felt that compared to those female companions with big breasts and no brains, this real wife was married to the right one.
After that, he treated my girlfriend better and better, because they were betting that the man would divorce her one day because he lost his freshness.Fortunately, however, this did not happen.The man was as good as ever to his wife. After the seven-year itch, they gave birth to three lovely children.My friend gradually used the child as a bargaining chip in marriage, and the balance of love was tilted to her side a little bit.They have been married for ten years now. My friend is no longer the youth and personality of the past, but her husband is still very good to her as always, let alone divorced.
What does this example tell us?The perfect girlfriend in the eyes of a man, the wife who is likely to marry in the future, must not only have an appearance that he admires, but also a heart that he admires.
To be perfect, a woman must know how to "play" beauty.This "beauty" is not only the external beauty, but also the "inner beauty" that makes men admire.This "inner beauty" is - never let him see through your heart.
The beauties who can "play tricks" are the big winners!In today's era where there are more and more artificial beauties, it seems a little impractical for girls to find a good boyfriend just by looking at their faces and figures.
In addition to the internal and external beauty that should be possessed, a very practical point is how to master the "way of getting along" in love.Everything has its inherent knowledge and essentials, and love is no exception.
golden bachelor georgeClooney said: "I'm not thinking about marriage yet. I like to be in a relationship with my girlfriends. I like the feeling of being in a relationship...These beautiful girls are really charming when they are in a relationship."
It is true that the best destination of love is marriage, but its most beautiful bloom is still in love.Do you want to be the super perfect girlfriend in the eyes of your boyfriend?You have the face of an angel, the figure of a devil, and an exquisite heart, but these are not enough...you also need to know how to get along in love.
If you want to be a big winner in love, you must make preparations in all aspects.To play beauty, we must protect this beautiful and budding love.
To become a super perfect girlfriend, what rules do you need to master?
Independent
The era of "Si Luo wishing to trust Qiao Mu" has long passed. Women can no longer hang on to their boyfriends, making him feel restricted in everything he does. Men in the 21st century are no longer willing to be "arbors" for women to rely on, not to mention that modern girls are not those weak "Silo", they have their own jobs, their own lives and their own ideas.In modern society, an independent, strong, and self-aware woman gets more respect from men.
give him free space
When falling in love, I always hope to be with my boyfriend day and night, inseparable.Even if I can't meet each other, I still hope to have a few words on the phone, so I often ring the soul-chasing phone in the middle of the night.You think you can get closer to him in this way, but in fact it is just the opposite. Over time, men will tire of you because you have pushed him to the ground.You know, everyone needs personal space, and so do couples in love.If you are willing to let him keep the air of freedom and the fun of being alone, he will appreciate you and show you more respect and love.
quiet rationality
Don't be poisoned by romance novels, thinking that a frail little pity can please men, and don't think that men will think that you are cute when you are jealous.City life is busy and tense, and they are already too busy to take care of themselves, and they will not spare any energy to take care of the little girl who bursts into tears from time to time, or the jealous jar who is often jealous.Therefore, most men hope that their girlfriends will be emotionally stable and rational at all times, and will not cry and make a fuss over trivial matters.It is inevitable for a woman to be narrow-minded. One day her boyfriend's attitude is tired, and she will be suspicious.Here is my advice to girls who are in love. Men hope that their girlfriends will have more trust and confidence in themselves. Don't be jealous all day long to test whether he has changed his mind, and guard him like a thief.
be his buddy
The most ideal romantic relationship must be mixed with love and friendship.To be his girlfriend, but also to be his best friend.In fact, men also hope to have common hobbies with their girlfriends. If they share fun and laugh together, the relationship will naturally become more harmonious.If you are in love, you may wish to cultivate common interests with your boyfriend, watch the World Cup with him, ask him to play tennis, watch a drama together, or go for a ride on a bicycle. These are all great love activities.
take the initiative in bed
Sexy is an attitude, even if you take off your clothes, if you will only spread out on the bed like a dead fish, I am afraid it will only turn off men.sexy?Can't even climb the edge.In the eyes of men, a sexy girlfriend should be an active member on the bed, who knows how to tease him, knows how to fight for and create pleasure in bed, so that a man can feel needed and desired, and his dignity can be greatly satisfied. Sexual interest and love will naturally surge along with it.
If you still haven't figured out how to be a perfect woman in the eyes of men, it doesn't matter, you just need to remember that your perfection is not for men all over the world, but only "he" in your eyes.Then, you might as well choose what you like, he doesn't necessarily like mature women or ladies, it's just right to keep a natural you.He doesn't necessarily want you to be smart or scheming, so you only need to know how to keep him interested and loving in you.
Smart women don't play tricks at any time, play with men, and trample other women.Beautiful women are not created solely by cosmetics and brand packaging.If he likes you now, you have to think about how to make him more attached to you in the future.If you haven't found the right one, then you have to let yourself get in touch with men more, and it's OK to participate in parties or blind dates.You have to know that a man who puts down his work is actually a tired animal. He needs the gentle comfort of women. At this time, whoever you fancy and show your charm, he will definitely submit obediently.This is the so-called, accidentally bumping into a "boyfriend".
4.Learn to be a model student in love
what is love?
Whether it is Shakespeare, the master of love, or a brilliant girl who is just in love on the street, they have all asked such an intriguing question.If psychology were to tell you, love has three lovely ingredients—intimacy, passion, and commitment.
Intimate lovers understand, support, share and care for each other, they have tacit secrets, and the language symbols flowing between them may be difficult for outsiders to understand and intervene.Passion is desire, longing, and obsession. It is easiest for outsiders to equate it with sex, but in fact its extension is far wider than sex.When you fall in love with someone, besides caressing, you have many kinds of intense needs and sacrifices, which are all passions.The last is commitment.It allows us to see not only the past and present of love, but also a beautiful future, where there is a sense of security and a desire for happiness that each of us needs.
Before falling in love, you have to ask yourself: What kind of love do I need?Which one is my love lesson?
In the love model I know, there are roughly four types of love.If you want to obtain an invincible love fairy tale, you must first determine which love course you are studying.
The First Kind of Love: Romantic Love
If you think about someone day and night, and you don’t feel hungry even if you don’t eat, and you feel refreshed even if you don’t drink Coca-Cola when you are with him, then congratulations, you are in romantic love, or in the most romantic relationship. stage.There is intense passion and intimacy in this relationship, but clearly there is not enough commitment.
To have a complete and romantic love, the most important thing is commitment.A love without a promise happens suddenly and ends without a cause.We can guess that maybe it's because the relationship between you and your lover hasn't developed to the stage where you want to stay together for life, maybe you don't care about whether there will be a tomorrow, it's just a whim or alcohol, which made this relationship born.
The Second Kind of Love: The Love of a Companion
If what is lacking is not commitment, but extreme passion, love will seem difficult to trickle down.You seem to have penetrated each other's minds, understood each other's thoughts, and understood the meaning behind each other's habitual actions.In fact, this kind of love is the best way to get along in love. Many lovers can get together in the end. Difficult to last a lifetime.
The third kind of love: illusory love
Illusory love hurts the most, making you no longer believe that there is true love in the world.Illusory love means that you were very pure in your mind before getting involved in love, and you longed for someone to love you well. Maybe you fell into a love with the mentality of moths flying to a flame.You may have a flash marriage, you may elope, you may have an affair after you get married... the love is only for a short moment, it is just a vain illusion.But unfortunately you tried, if you continue to obsess, you are likely to be hurt by love and lose everything.
The Fourth Type of Love: Perfect Love
A perfect relationship, it contains all the ingredients of love, intimacy, passion, commitment, and the matching is just right.Lovers enjoy each other's tacit understanding, see the affection and spark in each other's eyes, and at the same time, they look forward to the same future.
We all long for love, and we all long for full love.But the cruel thing is that perfect things are always difficult to last.Passion is always difficult to exist permanently and in sufficient quantities. If it could, it might not be called passion, but we can still create some small sentiments and small romances in our lives, and add passion to love.
If you want to reap a perfect love, you must first strive to be a model student in love.You get full marks in reading and you have the highest IQ, but you don't necessarily have a high EQ.No matter how successful life is without love, it is like a tree that only blooms but does not bear fruit, and it is difficult to be "satisfactory".
Check your love mentality, are you ready for love?How much do you know about the details of love?
First of all, model students in love need to know how to attract the attention of potential boyfriends, and the proportion of potential boyfriends is quite high.You have to hold the idea of "sweeping everything in one go" and try to catch all the men within the scope of your involvement!
The first step of "Model Student in Love": Cultivate your maternal temperament
59% of men said they would like to date a girl who has a temperament similar to their mother.Do you believe?A man swears to God that one of the most fearful things in his life is that his girlfriend doesn't get along with his mother.Especially the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law in China is even worse.However, the dramatic fate just likes to play tricks on people, letting them be caught in the middle as a punching bag.According to a recent poll by a magazine, 59 percent of men said they would date a girl with a temperament similar to their mother's.
So, if you are still single, don't you need to pay attention to adjusting yourself to be more mature in all aspects?The so-called "maturity" does not mean that you should be a sexy and provocative mature woman. Being considerate, stable, and generous are very important temperaments in the process of falling in love.Of course, if you have all of these things, and you can handle them properly, whether you are single or not, your luck will always be very prosperous.
The second step of "Model Student in Love": Don't be a canary fed by men
Although it is natural for a man to take care of a woman, there is no reason to think that a man should always "be the host" and take care of everything.Men like to appear a gentleman in front of women, lead the way in crowded public places, send a bouquet of roses a day, and buy VIP tickets to spend a romantic night with you... You must not think that men It's only natural to be so attentive, even if you are a high-ranking canary, but in the end you will be locked in a golden cage by him.If you don't show half-appreciation for his overtures and instead take it for granted that he should, watch out for alarm bells starting to ring in his head.
This is what a girl in love takes for granted, thinking that a man is willing to do everything for her.As everyone knows, the coachman also needs to pay back.You must not think that the ATM machine does not charge interest, he pays the bill for your sweet smile, a thoughtful greeting...even, at the right time, you lower your head and accept his marriage proposal.
"I remember after the third date I drove her car out of the parking lot and the gatekeeper handed me a parking ticket and she just stared at me and waited for me to pay. It was unbelievable! Hi, Didn’t I just pay for you to eat a French meal? Do you want me to pay for it? I’ve never been a stingy person, and these small sums are nothing, but my intuition tells me that she is the kind who expects a man to bear all the expenses The woman in my life gave me a lot of pressure invisibly." This is a love experience that a male friend told me through the radio.
It is conceivable that men are not infinitely willing to pay for women.Especially, you are not worth everything for you in his mind!
If you behave like an iron cock everywhere, I am afraid no one will appreciate your careful planning.Therefore, the second step of "model love students": don't be a canary fed by men!Be generous when you should be generous, don't be a "cash machine" that blindly asks for it, and occasionally take the initiative to arrange some dating shows, such as buying movie tickets or admission tickets in advance, rushing to invite everyone to drink for a round at the bar, etc.In this way, men will feel that your girlfriend is both considerate and considerate, and also very good at dealing with the world.
The third step of "Model Student in Love": Pay attention to the "ceremony" before dating
Men have a good face, and they have a bit of a comparison mentality, and they feel extremely glamorous when holding a beautiful girlfriend.So part of the reason for the men's visual effect is that "face" is at work.I've known Dennis for five years, and he's grown from a handsome guy to a handsome, handsome gentleman.He wears a suit and tie, his hair is meticulously done, and he doesn't forget to spray on the good-smelling Davidoff.
I asked him, "Why do you always dress yourself up so well?"
His answer: "Because I want to date pretty girls. I can't stand my girlfriends being slovenly, so I have to be strict with myself first."
"If a girl thinks that I'm interested in her, she'll be sloppy and stop paying attention to her image, the prospects for the two of them may not be so good."
He spread his hands, acting quite helpless, as if the breakup was not his fault.This reason is a bit far-fetched, but it does not mean that this is not the mentality of men.Most men want their girlfriends to be decent and beautiful, at least to "bring them out".So, if you are already in love, in order to leave a good impression on the other party, you must pay attention to your image before dating.Likewise, when it comes to dating, your every move matters.
Step [-] of "Model Student in Love": How do you "seduce" a man rationally
When love is in progress.There is no doubt that the "sex" enthusiasm index is an important prey indicator for men to look for.If you let him feel that you are not very sexually interested and unable to meet his needs from the beginning, he will never be optimistic about this relationship.The sooner he is mentally prepared, the greater the hope of continuing the relationship, and the less likely he will become a "resentful man" after marriage.
"Model student in love" doesn't mean that you should be a good girl in love, but also pay attention to taking the initiative occasionally.
"Come to my apartment for the weekend and she pulls a bottle out of her handbag and says she's going to give me a massage and relax. Man, it's all premeditated, and it's not always about men .” When Ellen said these words to me, there was a strange spark in her eyes, and I almost got electrocuted.It can be seen that his charm is amazing.However, I admire his current girlfriend even more, who is said to be the longest girlfriend he has been with, and the two plan to get married at the end of the year.
Perhaps because of the differences between Eastern and Western cultures, Chinese girls are ashamed to talk about "love", let alone act.However, love knows no country.You have to know that this is the 21st century of globalization, not the feudal era 100 years ago when women were closed to the outside world and their feet were bound. Occasionally taking the initiative will let men know your unknown side, and it is easy to create a climax of love.
A model student in love, you should learn to take the lead in love, so that men will be fascinated by you.For example, when two people are getting along, rub him with the toe painted with danko, or, when passing through a narrow corridor, take advantage of his unpreparedness and touch his arm with your chest...
The fifth step of love model student: hand over the olive branch
Men love women who are reasonable and don't hold grudges.You should let him know that you are a girl who knows how to forgive.
Many men have dated such a girl, misidentified her, and apologized, and more than once, she was relentless and bitter.
"We have only been dating for more than a month, and she caught the flu. During this period, I called every night to say hello. Unexpectedly, she became colder and colder every day. Later, I realized that she blamed me for not visiting in person. I I made up for it, but she made up for it in action. She still looked lukewarm, and she didn't know what she was thinking. Thinking about it carefully, it's really a question of whether we get along. If I really do something wrong in the future, she will be fine. Who can stand being angry for more than half a year?" This is the complaint of a Chinese man.He wrote an E-mail to me expressing his dissatisfaction with his girlfriend. He said: "Angela, because of this incident, my impression of her has become worse. I don't know whether this relationship should continue."
So women should learn to forget before the outbreak of the War of the Roses.Tell him how when you had a dispute with your family, you turned around and threw it out of the sky. Tell him that you hate irrational vindictiveness... Life is not always sunshine and laughter. Some small conflicts are normal. When they happen, face them bravely , listen to his real thoughts, and solve problems together.If the anger is not going well and you still can't forgive the other person, you have to weigh what is most important-is the relationship between the two of you, or you have the upper hand?
Love Model Student Step [-]: Stand by his side forever
A man needs an ally, and a warm woman who can say by his side: "I believe in you!" When you have been with him for a period of time and the relationship tends to be stable, you should give him a sense of trust.
This doesn't mean bowing down to him, submissive, or yelling at his friends when they let him down, but supporting him wholeheartedly and letting him feel that your heart is always on his side.Tell him, for example, that it's not a good sign that his boss is cutting his budget for this year's project.Tell him that vodka with beer is his brilliant invention.When the company had a football league, he waved the flag and cheered for him.
This awareness became particularly strong after Mike, 34, started dating Jenny: "After the second meeting, I took her to my flat and showed her my latest painting and she was so interested and full of praise. .As a professional painter who makes a living from this, I have always had a thick skin, but this time, I really care about whether she is interested. Otherwise, how can I guarantee that she will support me in the future?" Look, how romantic and sincere.Even if he doesn't show it on the surface, he still cares very much in his heart.President Clinton has maintained extraordinary charm both in politics and in private life. Who would not admit that it is because he has a wife who supports him and wholeheartedly assists him?
Men compete to the death in the mall, and it's hard to get wholehearted support from men of the same sex.With a considerate woman to rely on, there is a safe harbor to anchor in, which is more or less a kind of comfort.Men with strong self-esteem often show an indifferent look, and it is even less likely to take the initiative to "ask" for "sponsorship" from women.As a woman, you must be good at understanding their psychology and let him know that you are always on his side. This alone can win you a few points.
(End of this chapter)
what is love?If psychology were to tell you, love has three lovely ingredients—intimacy, passion, and commitment.
Intimate lovers understand, support, share and care for each other, and the language symbols flowing between them are difficult for outsiders to understand and intervene.Passion is desire, longing, infatuation. When you fall in love with someone, besides caressing, you have many kinds of intense needs and sacrifices, which all belong to passion.Finally, there is commitment, which allows us to see not only the past and present of love, but also the future, where there is a sense of security and a longing for happiness that each of us needs.
Before falling in love, you have to ask yourself: What kind of love do I need?Which one is my love lesson?
1.Love quiz - what "love" have you misunderstood
I was drinking afternoon tea in an open-air square in London, and I saw two young men and women. The girl had a standard Asian complexion, dressed in avant-garde fashion, and the man was a typical European face, wearing a baseball cap.The two were arguing loudly.In the end, the girl ignored the man, pushed away the man's strong shoulders, shouted: "It's over!", then turned around and strode away with her long hair shaking.
The man stood very depressed in the middle of the square, and the passers-by around him occasionally looked back at him.His expression was very painful.This exotic love seems to have come to an end.
He turned his head and found that I was looking at him. For two or three seconds, he stared at me blankly, his eyes were out of focus.When I wondered if I was going to call a security guard for this gentleman, he suddenly grinned helplessly at me, and then said in Chinese that I could understand: "I really shouldn't be looking for you girls from the East." .”
Heh, if a relationship fails, a man will attribute all his faults to "repentance". He shouldn't have a transnational relationship, and shouldn't find an oriental woman... In the future, he may see us oriental faces active in the square and streets. I'm afraid.
What exactly is love?
I have received countless letters from men and women in love. Some of them have been in love several times, some have just lost their love, and some are experiencing the "bottleneck period" of their relationship with their regular lovers... Anyway, they still hold on to love. Have a hopeful and optimistic attitude.
Love is a mediation
Life is empty, find a partner, a cup of coffee, a movie, a trip to pass the time.
love is exciting
Go to the bar to get drunk, find a man and woman who are also looking for excitement like you, and have a "one-night stand" with him (her).Wake up early in the morning, open different doors on the left and right to leave, and you may never meet again in the rest of your life.
love is fantasy
Men and women who have never been in love very much want to get rid of the status quo of life through a relationship.But once they fell in love, they asked in turn: "Is this love? God, it's not the same as imagined."
"So what kind of relationship do you want?" I asked.
"Like in the movie, the boyfriend drove the girl through the streets and alleys, and the girl held an umbrella for him. The two walked through a very quiet boulevard in tacit understanding and saw beautiful scenery." The girl said with longing .
"What about the reality? Is your current love life as beautiful as you said?"
"Of course not." The girl immediately slumped and shook her head, "Very disappointed. He has a lot of entertainment every day, and he locks himself in his room to play games when he is free. I asked him to go for a walk with me, but he refused... There are always all kinds of excuses to perfuse me every time."
"Is this love?" She turned her face and asked me very confused.
I don't know how to answer her.Saying "yes" is afraid of hurting her confidence in love; saying "no" may really destroy a relationship that has been established with great difficulty.
"Love is not what you think." It can only be explained in such a general way-men in love are still rational, but women have become very emotional.
Love is not adjustment, not stimulation, not imagination.
First of all, once you are in love, you have to adjust the state of "love" as soon as possible, and learn to find out the "way of love" that affects you from the existing love experience while learning to fall in love.
We might as well take a look at the following incisive love questions and answers, so as to gain the "knowledge" of love from them.
Q1 Does falling in love stem from the similarity or complementarity of two personalities?
The most common form of love is the capture and chase between the sexes.Interpersonal goodwill can convey powerful power to each other, so that it can make up for the lack of objective conditions.It is similarity, not complementarity, that brings people together.Similarity mainly includes the degree of matching in three aspects: values and personality, interests and experience, and interpersonal style.Among them, interpersonal style is the most important relationship predictor. Interacting with people with different interpersonal communication styles will cause frustration and less possibility of further development.
Q2 Does love depend on "chasing"?
True love does not require "chasing".The tacit understanding between the two slowly shortened the distance between the two hearts, and gradually approached each other unconsciously.From the moment you fell in love with him, maybe he also fell in love with you at that moment, love with the same rhythm can often play the most harmonious and beautiful movement.
Q3 What should true love look like?
Two people together are relaxed, carefree, and stress-free.
Q4 To love someone is to give without reservation?
of course not.Everyone is an individual, and so are men and women in love.Just because you have a boyfriend, you can't rely on him too much. Men are very disgusted with this.Likewise, just because you love him doesn't mean you dedicate yourself to him without reservation.First of all, we belong to ourselves, we have thoughts, we have personality, and we can have appropriate reservations when dealing with the object of love.
Q5 Which is more important to a girl, appearance or personality?
Girls often ask this question.Do men like girls more for their beauty, or her personality more.How to answer this?Movies, TV, books, and magazines often tell young girls that personality is the most critical factor in determining a relationship, but many books and magazines still spare no effort to recommend various brand-name cosmetics and clothes to you—why?The answer is that girls' beauty is also very important!At least, in reality, the single rate of beautiful women tends to be relatively low.Because, the beautiful famous flowers are all picked by the butterflies rushing to come!
Q6 I want to fall in love quickly!What to do, I'm already 20 years old, and my sister Tao's boyfriend has changed several times.
Only 20 years old? !God, my dear girl, you are too eager to fall in love.If you want to fall in love, it's not good to be too eager.What's more, you are still too early to be 30 years old.In the United States and the United Kingdom, I have seen too many women in their thirties who are still single. I asked them why they still don’t talk about boyfriends?They asked back, how can we talk if the time is not up?Look, what a group of calm women.I want to tell the children who have just passed the age of 20: There is no rush to fall in love.One is that the more you want it, the less you can get it; the other is that it is hard to cherish when you get it, and it comes and goes quickly.If the water flows longer, the love will last longer.
Q7 How should two people get along when they are in love?
The most important thing for two people in love to get along is to trust each other, understand each other, and know how to tolerate each other.Some people say that the beauty of a woman comes from a tolerant heart.
Q8 Is true love only once in a lifetime?
True love needs to be discovered.Often your first love will be very pure, but it does not mean that it is only this time.You will experience many loves in your life, but there are usually only two that can make you fall in love: one is when you muster up the courage to fall in love with the person you like, and the other is when you make up your mind to marry the person you love.
Q9 Falling in love with someone is because you are used to this person?
There is no one that we must have in our life. Loving someone is actually getting used to this person in many cases.
Q10 Reality or romance, which kind of love is more reliable?
Reality.Romance without a basis in reality is a castle in the air.The love in college often ends with graduation, mostly because they have to compromise with reality because they are separated from each other.It is an empty saying that distance produces beauty. Only those who are close to each other and understand each other will collide with the spark of love and bear the sweet fruit of love.
The above ten questions about "love" we will all encounter in real love life.When you are not sure, you might as well take it out for reference.Being in love is not as simple as you think, and it's certainly not terribly complicated.You read a lot of love books and want to get the answer of love from them; you often have this kind of confusion about love, listen to too many love songs, worry about gains and losses; you will ask questions, where is the person you love so much...
Is it because you need to find someone who loves you so much that you fall in love?But when the other party asks you what is considered to be very loving, you can't answer him, because you don't know yourself.Before falling in love, we always thought that we would find someone who we love very much.But later, when we suddenly look back, we realize how naive we were.If you have never started, how do you know if you will love that person very much?In fact, the feeling of loving very much can only be discovered after experiencing many things together.Perhaps everyone hopes to be able to find a [-]% lover in their minds, but have you ever thought about whether there will be someone who has silently paid for you for a long time by your side, but you just didn't realize it?
So girls, stop complaining that no one loves you yet, or how long you have to wait for your Prince Charming... Don't blame your current "he" for not being your ideal Mr.Right!When you can't sleep in the middle of the night, pick up your mobile phone, at least one person you can call without worrying that he will think you disturbed his sleep.
What is love?
When you ask "love" questions, you might as well sit down and think back to the interactions in your life.Who do you remember, what were you with him... no doubt, you loved.When you love again, remember, don't repeat the mistakes of the past, the person in front of you is no longer the "he" you used to be, and it is impossible to be the school idol you had a crush on when you were a girl.Therefore, please breathe with your heart, put aside distracting thoughts, and invest in a love that makes each other's hearts beat.
2.Love, you're wrong to think so
You say to a man, "Honey, I love you. My whole life is meant to be yours. I love everything about you. No matter what happens to you, no matter what happens to me, no matter what happens in this world, I will always love you." You, I will never leave you forever."
You speak so sincerely that you almost move yourself.How do you expect the other person to react?Should he embrace you with open arms and have a romantic French kiss, or ask him to kneel down and take out a three-carat diamond ring to propose to you...
A girl wrote an E-mail to me: Angela, I have been in love with a boy for three years, he is by my side, we go to and from get off work every day, I follow him into the same subway, and secretly follow him home after getting off the subway at the same station ...I did everything I could, but I don't know how to tell him...he doesn't even know who I am...
When I just received this E-mail, I was really, really surprised.This has not been encountered in the thousands of "love answer" letters I have received.The girls around me have all kinds of skin colors, there are oriental girls who are small and sweet, and there are hot and unrestrained western girls. They give me the impression that love comes too easily and is too intense.
I asked the girl: how did you know him?Are you taking the same train?
No.She told me that the encounter with this boy was very coincidental.She had been secretly in love with this boy since she was in college, but he had a girlfriend at that time.She had a crush on him for three years until the boy graduated.Later, she learned that the boy went to Z City, and after graduation, she resolutely went to Z City.
I don't know what motivates a girl to throw herself into this seemingly hopeless love without thinking about anything.However, she was lucky enough to meet him on the same subway.
It stands to reason that if the girl uses snacks to create a "chance encounter" with the boy in the subway, then the next love will be very likely.
Here comes a question: Does the boy have a girlfriend now?
If he had a girlfriend, the difficulty of this relationship would seem to be very high.
I then asked her on MSN: Does the boy you have a crush on have a girlfriend now?
She answered me with certainty: no.
I have been secretly in love with this person for three years, so what are you waiting for!Chased him to the same city again, and tried to create a chance to meet him, why didn't he do it?
Perhaps, I said the word "start" with a bit of conspiracy, but for anyone, this is a love that pays more than gains.
Oriental girls are often ashamed to say "love" when facing the person they like.The most common way to express it is with a love letter.They often list all the advantages of the boy they like first, first tell him how destined the two are, and what attracts them to the other party... A smarter girl will pay more attention to it, for example, the two people have the same hobbies , favorite movies or music, worshiping the same idol, liking the same place, etc.Until the end of a letter, a heart will be drawn in the lower right corner with a very shallow handwriting, or the sentence "I love you" will be written...
Western girls, however, are the complete opposite.They often say "love" out loud, first say "I love you" to the boy they like, and then tell him why they like him.
well, let's get back to business.My reply to the girl was: How much do you love him?
This is a very serious question.Because, if you don't love him enough, there is no need to spend so much thought, or even take everything you have.
This world needs love, but it is also very realistic.I say this not to advise girls to take love more realistically, but to tell you: fall in love rationally.
If you think about an unforgettable love that lasts forever, then I tell you, love, you are wrong to think this way-men don’t need love that lasts forever.
So, when you say to him "I love you, no matter what happens in this world, I will always love you and will never leave you", you will most likely not get hugs, dream kisses and rings , On the contrary, what you greet is likely to be the man's expression of being at a loss and escaping eyes.He even spread his hands, shrugged at you, and then found an excuse to run away.
After reading this, you may be dumbfounded.It's not like that in the movie.Honey, that's the movie.Please don't doubt my assertion, this kind of thing is too common in real life.And you are the only one who really enters the show.
The belonging of women is love, so what they spend their whole life chasing is a reliable man, or a reliable oath.They love vows, and they'd give anything for it, even if it's mostly a lie.They long for strong, even tragic love, and they will not hesitate to pay the price of their lives.Therefore, they like to talk about forever and ever, and to continue their relationship in the next life.Like he died for you, or you died for him.They feel that love can be equivalent to life, and the interests of love are above all else.So the more they talk about the love of life and death, the more they can be regarded as the expression of true love.
The fundamental nature of a man is to seek excitement.They hate responsibility, especially when everyone is asking them to.Life is heavy enough for them, and they want to find lightness and excitement.So, when you talk to them about your whole life or lock your whole life into a relationship, what arouses their gratitude is not their desire, but their desire to escape.They'd rather hear, "You're such a fun guy, I feel great with you," than "Honey, I want to be with you forever, forever."
They don't want to be sad, they don't want to live from life to life, and they don't want to lock in a lifetime coupon for going to bed.They want you to compliment them on how manly they are, how funny they are, how sexy they are...they want to live in the moment.Otherwise, if the suspense is gone, they will feel boring.
Think about how many women have been touched by "Titanic"...and men, they would rather shut up in the room and watch an AV film than spend money to watch box office movies with their girlfriends.Because they only like to regard love as a thrill-seeking pastime, mostly to satisfy their physical needs.
A woman asks a man, "Honey, do you love me or not?"
What makes them crazy is why the man is so stingy to say the word "love" when he has already gone to bed.
Is "love" so hard to say?
This is the complaint and confusion I hear the most from female readers.How can I give them satisfactory answers?
A very good female friend of mine, of course, she is also my reader.She has been in love countless times. Since middle school, changing boyfriends is like changing her most proud bra. 36, 37, 38... The boyfriend's condition is just like her expanding bust, becoming more and more positive.
However, she told me she has no love.She said she was the unluckiest of the sisters.I asked her why.She said that the boyfriends she got were not reliable.
She gave me an example: her boyfriend who just broke up, and they dated for more than half a year.This man was the most satisfying to her so far. He had a decent job, was handsome, well-educated, and a gentleman.She had always been used to being unscrupulous, but in a blink of an eye it was the age to talk about marriage, and this handsome and rich man moved her heart.She didn't want a flash marriage, but she wanted to marry him as soon as she had been in love for more than six months.
The man gave her a Cartier diamond ring.He is a jewelry designer, which makes her face.She thought that this was a show of love, or even a marriage proposal... She gave up many bad habits for him, stopped going to nightclubs, and even specially dealt with the previous piercing tattoos.She wanted to be a girlfriend who satisfied him, and a wife who would make him feel at ease in the future.
However, one night, after their usual passion, she suddenly asked him with great interest: "Do you love me?"
The man fell silent.
She asked again unwillingly, and the man smoked and said, "Why are you asking such a boring question?"
boring?She wanted to laugh then.She told me afterwards that she would remember him all her life when he uttered those words with annoyance.
She didn't end the relationship just like that.But the man's indifference made her sensitive. Maybe he was just a new taste for a while when he was with her. Let's see if the famous "extraordinary woman" in her circle will become a "good girl" for love...
Before proposing to break up, she once again asked the man hopefully: "Are we in love like this? You give me gifts, watch movies with me, take me to a high-end hotel... This is considered love, right?"
The man frowned again, and he looked at her with a very disgusted look: "There are too many women who asked me to do this. Are all of them in love? If you think it is a love, then it is..."
In communication, the initiative of action is often in the hands of men. They decide the beginning and end of the relationship, and even the rhythm of the whole relationship. They also control it very well.But what about women?A woman's only right to love is empty talk: if you think it's a love affair, so be it.
She said that she would never marry in her whole life, and just played around in the world like this.
I can't change her view of love, because real love hurts her too much.In love, women are often the weak ones.Please don't doubt the credibility of this sentence, it is true.
My friend, because she takes love too seriously, she looks cynical on the surface, but she is very serious in her bones.She thought she had found true love, that she could finally stop looking for love and find a reliable man to marry, but that man shattered all her hopes with just one sentence.
No one will love you forever.If you think there is any undying love in this world, then you are very wrong.If you think that what was played in "Titanic" is true, that the man finally gave his life for the woman, and the woman will remember him forever, then you can only say that you are in the play.
We often don't understand the promise of love.
If there is a person who promises to be good to you forever and never abandon you, I am willing to believe it.Because we have the ability to do it, we can control our behavior, no matter what kind of situation happens, we can treat a person consistently and stay with him forever.
But if someone promises to love you forever, sorry, I don't believe it.Because we don't have the ability to control our emotions, especially love.We can't force ourselves to fall in love with someone, nor can we force ourselves to stop loving someone.So, in a way, it's not us who control love, it's love that controls us.
Girls, when you say you love someone very much, I can't help but ask: How much will you pay for this love?
He made you lose everything, he hurt you, he made you lose confidence in the future... Will you still love him consistently?
The word "love" is easy to say.However, it is also difficult to speak.
There is a song called "Love You Is Hard to Say", which is when love is deep.Conversely, it is hard to say it, maybe because I don't know if it is "love" or not, and I don't know whether to say it to add trouble to each other.
This is a man's love, you have to learn to accept it.
We can say love to a person who doesn't love willfully, we can also care for a man diligently every day, and use every detail to express love... But it doesn't mean that this is love.
You lost yourself in the fog of love.You think love is what you think it is, but it's not.For love, too many wrong understandings guide you away from the direction of finding true love.
It tells you that you can only love one person in your life.
But the reality is, we can fall in love with many people.We don't like someone, we like a certain type of person.The person who came first met us, so we came together happily.This is the so-called, "find the right person at the right time", then you are the lucky one in love.
It tells you that there will be a lifetime of love.
In fact, love can be discussed several times, and sparks of passion can also happen from time to time.The most important thing is your attitude of devotion. The first love is precious to you because it was the first time you devoted yourself wholeheartedly. After the second time, the third time... Slowly, you become tired and think Love is nothing more than that.When you lose your passion for love, you naturally feel that being in love will no longer bring any unforgettable feelings.You take it for granted that there is only one true love, and that is your first love.
It tells you that two people can still be friends after breaking up.
For this case, I am quite repulsive.My character is like this, when it is broken, it is broken, especially when it comes to emotions.Foreign girls have a very "violent" free and easy character, which I appreciate very much.Whether it's a cross-border relationship, a year-end relationship, or any new and exciting relationship, they devote themselves wholeheartedly, and they don't drag their feet afterward.The most taboo in love is repeated, broken ties, which is not fair to the lovers you meet in the future.I have seen too many examples of old love rekindling and going to bed after breaking up. It’s okay to be unmarried. If it’s a couple, but one day after breaking up, the original wife suddenly becomes an extramarital affair. Thinking about it, it’s unbelievable.
Although I grew up abroad and received a Western education, I still prefer a more peaceful love.Love is mutual tolerance. For the person you love, you can't think about possessing him for the rest of your life. "One day, we may be separated."You have to have this sense of crisis early on.
And when it comes to love in love, please bear in mind, "It is not we who control love, but love that controls us."So, since we are guided and controlled by love, how can we easily commit to future love?
Promises sound beautiful, but they are not reliable.So, don't be fooled by promises that lack action.
If one day, the one you love betrays the promise you made at the beginning, then please forgive him.Because realistic promises can't be taken seriously, at least, you can't take it forever.If this man didn't cheat you, he just couldn't keep it, then please don't be serious with the past vows, just keep your love well.
There will be many unexpected situations in love. Sometimes what you see may not be the essence of the matter. It will blind your eyes, make you preoccupied and evade reality.
My opinion is to keep a normal heart in love.Think about it, how many couples in the world are facing the end of breaking up every day, how many unrequited love people are facing the dilemma of failing to confess their love, and how many single men and women are still struggling to find their future partner... If you already have The other half, you will be a few percent of these happiness probabilities...
So, please cherish the love you have now. In love, you should keep a grateful and tolerant heart.
3.The Perfect Girlfriend in the Eyes of a Man
Men are selfish.
As a woman, you must regard this sentence as your motto in life, just like "there are no ugly women in the world, only lazy women" and keep it in your heart.
Ok, when you know that "men are all selfish", don't say it in public, even your girlfriends.What you should do is how to master the "selfish" characteristics of men, and be a shrewd woman who protects herself and confuses him.Please don't doubt the charm of the word "smart", just look at the two sisters S in Taiwan, big and small, in Taiwan. Their reputation as "smart" among women has spread to the other side of the ocean.
When I was drinking coffee on the streets of New York, flipping through the new issue of fashion magazines, there were still those familiar faces, those boring guides that taught women how to look good and how to break into the upper class of the United States... I don’t deny that these things teach girls to be beautiful. Magazines that are beautiful and money-worshiping have their advantages, but the premise is that you have the strength to do what they say.
What is the perfect woman in the eyes of a man?
Once when I was flying back to Taiwan, passing by the airport bookstore, I saw a book teaching girls how to beautify themselves, which was written by Big S.In Taiwan, Big S' reputation is far inferior to that of her younger sister, Little S.Girls all over Taiwan, including us immigrant Chinese girls, are very envious of Xiao S's good marriage.It is true that she has experienced the tragedies of failed relationships and being teased by others before, but now she is happily married to a good husband, her relationship with her mother-in-law is so enviable, and she has given birth to two children for her husband's family.Take ordinary women as an example, Xiao S is already very happy.
I opened the book casually, and suddenly heard a mother and daughter whispering beside me.My mother is only in her early forties, and her daughter is only in her teens, a precocious age.
The mother said to her daughter: "Look, my elder sister is the king of beauty. She looks so beautiful, and my younger sister is so capable. The husband she married is the envy of all Taiwanese girls. Their mother is really amazing. They have brought up such an outstanding couple. Daughter. Mom doesn’t expect you to be successful in the future, but you must be a woman among women and firmly grasp your own happiness.”
I was very surprised at the way the mother and daughter communicated, so I sneaked a glance at the silent girl with her head bowed. Her long hair covered half of her face. I didn't know if she was beautiful or not.But I'm sure this girl is very pleasing.Her mother should be very demanding of her, instilling the concept of "woman" and "how to be a woman" early on.
There is a Chinese folk saying: It is better for a girl to marry well than to do well.Girls are younger and can choose their favorite boyfriend at will, but slowly, as they get older, for example, how should I choose my ideal partner?
Older, Brad.Pitt was chained by Julie, Cruise married one after another, and Beckham had a strong Mrs. Beckham.A little younger, Orlando, the elf prince who fascinates millions of girls.Bloom has also been married in a flash, and the remaining British aristocrat, Jude Law, is also married, and children are born one after another... What should you do?
If you are still dreaming of a teenage dream that will never come true, it is better to spend more time and effort to transform yourself into another Marilyn.Monroe or Lin Chiling.
What does a perfect girlfriend look like in a man's eyes?
First up is the looks, undeniably.
Men are carnivorous animals, and they pay attention to the first sight.Which girl does not dream of Prince Charming, and so do men.One is a dream and the other is reality.Otherwise, how could the popularity of models and pornstars be so high?
However, you will also say that not every woman is a natural stunner. If the breasts and sexy lips of 36 are not favored by God, they are "nurtured" the day after tomorrow.Please note that this is just your wishful thinking. Men love beautiful and sexy girls, but they prefer to try new things.A selfish man loves to play, but he will not bring home a woman who loves to play. First of all, he has to choose his girlfriend carefully in terms of appearance.
I did a survey, what kind of girlfriend do men like?The answer you get will surprise you as a girl, and even hide a little joy in your heart-it turns out that falling in love is not what you think, and neither is the man you fall in love with!
smooth skin
White and tender skin is always flattering, because it looks easy to get close to, and men think that fair skin is usually tender and smooth, so it is correct to say that white skin can cover all ugliness.
smiling lips
little cherry mouth?Sexy thick lips?Or is it nice to have sharp lips?This is actually not the point.Men sometimes rely on their feelings. A smiling mouth looks good no matter how you look at it.
soft long hair
Men always like their girlfriends to have flowing long hair, and silky straight hair will make men think you are more gentle and ladylike!
flowy skirt
Men like their girlfriends to wear flowing skirts, thinking that they look like a girl, neat and tidy.Most men don't appreciate rumpled clothing, and you, don't be unconventional.
clean nails
Although manicures are popular, men still love their girlfriends to have natural, clean and neat nails, probably because they are afraid that if they irritate their girlfriends, they will be caught by her long nails.
high heels lady
Men think that those who wear high heels are ladies. Although they like lovers like little wild cats in their hearts, it is better for real girlfriends to walk gracefully in high heels.But if the woman is taller than him in high heels, he will definitely feel aggrieved.
teary eyed
The watery, talking eyes are particularly endearing, and there is a feeling of being a little bird.On the contrary, even if you have a pair of big eyes, but sharp eyes, it will give a man a sense of oppression that is not easy to get close to.
light makeup
Men don't like to Kiss with red lips covered in lip gloss (maybe they are afraid of being laughed at by other girlfriends when they turn around and date), and light makeup makes it easier for them to see your true face.
elegant body fragrance
A man will feel very comfortable holding his girlfriend's fragrant body, but he should refuse strong and pungent fragrance, otherwise it will violate their ideal image of a perfect girlfriend.
Even body
Do guys like girls with big boobs?Let me tell you, crispy breasts are not popular these days.They like their girlfriends to be well-proportioned, and they should not be overweight, as being skinny will turn them off.The point is that you have what men don't have, that is, the so-called chest, waist and hips, but don't exaggerate, as long as you have.
Slender limbs
Men naturally like women with slender limbs, and thick calves are a nightmare for them.If possible, they will try to avoid girls with thick legs as girlfriends.However, many girls now have well-developed limbs, and the men have to obey obediently.
——The above is the ideal appearance of a perfect girlfriend that more than 80% of men agreed upon after investigation.
Maybe you will be surprised and express disbelief.Aren't men very flamboyant and flamboyant? Their criteria for choosing a mate are also very traditional.But, my dear, this is a survey of Eastern men, and in the West, there are a lot of unrestrained men.Moreover, Western aesthetic standards are quite different from traditional Eastern ones.
However, the country is easy to change and the nature is hard to change. In any case, men are picky ghosts who are careful and budgetary. It is impossible for them to accept an ordinary girlfriend. Even if they accept it, it is because they do not have the confidence and strength to have a better one.
A married girlfriend of mine told me that she tattooed her wedding vows on her body the day before her wedding—"planning to divorce at any time."Not long after they got married, her tattoo was discovered by her husband. He was very angry at the time, but he still held back and asked her what was going on.She replied: "I don't have any beauty that fascinates you, and I don't have any wealth that can compete with you. How can I tie you down?"
My husband couldn't laugh or cry at the time, thinking she was very naive.But after slowly recollecting it, this man who is invincible in business and in love feels that he has married a smart and sensible wife.He felt that compared to those female companions with big breasts and no brains, this real wife was married to the right one.
After that, he treated my girlfriend better and better, because they were betting that the man would divorce her one day because he lost his freshness.Fortunately, however, this did not happen.The man was as good as ever to his wife. After the seven-year itch, they gave birth to three lovely children.My friend gradually used the child as a bargaining chip in marriage, and the balance of love was tilted to her side a little bit.They have been married for ten years now. My friend is no longer the youth and personality of the past, but her husband is still very good to her as always, let alone divorced.
What does this example tell us?The perfect girlfriend in the eyes of a man, the wife who is likely to marry in the future, must not only have an appearance that he admires, but also a heart that he admires.
To be perfect, a woman must know how to "play" beauty.This "beauty" is not only the external beauty, but also the "inner beauty" that makes men admire.This "inner beauty" is - never let him see through your heart.
The beauties who can "play tricks" are the big winners!In today's era where there are more and more artificial beauties, it seems a little impractical for girls to find a good boyfriend just by looking at their faces and figures.
In addition to the internal and external beauty that should be possessed, a very practical point is how to master the "way of getting along" in love.Everything has its inherent knowledge and essentials, and love is no exception.
golden bachelor georgeClooney said: "I'm not thinking about marriage yet. I like to be in a relationship with my girlfriends. I like the feeling of being in a relationship...These beautiful girls are really charming when they are in a relationship."
It is true that the best destination of love is marriage, but its most beautiful bloom is still in love.Do you want to be the super perfect girlfriend in the eyes of your boyfriend?You have the face of an angel, the figure of a devil, and an exquisite heart, but these are not enough...you also need to know how to get along in love.
If you want to be a big winner in love, you must make preparations in all aspects.To play beauty, we must protect this beautiful and budding love.
To become a super perfect girlfriend, what rules do you need to master?
Independent
The era of "Si Luo wishing to trust Qiao Mu" has long passed. Women can no longer hang on to their boyfriends, making him feel restricted in everything he does. Men in the 21st century are no longer willing to be "arbors" for women to rely on, not to mention that modern girls are not those weak "Silo", they have their own jobs, their own lives and their own ideas.In modern society, an independent, strong, and self-aware woman gets more respect from men.
give him free space
When falling in love, I always hope to be with my boyfriend day and night, inseparable.Even if I can't meet each other, I still hope to have a few words on the phone, so I often ring the soul-chasing phone in the middle of the night.You think you can get closer to him in this way, but in fact it is just the opposite. Over time, men will tire of you because you have pushed him to the ground.You know, everyone needs personal space, and so do couples in love.If you are willing to let him keep the air of freedom and the fun of being alone, he will appreciate you and show you more respect and love.
quiet rationality
Don't be poisoned by romance novels, thinking that a frail little pity can please men, and don't think that men will think that you are cute when you are jealous.City life is busy and tense, and they are already too busy to take care of themselves, and they will not spare any energy to take care of the little girl who bursts into tears from time to time, or the jealous jar who is often jealous.Therefore, most men hope that their girlfriends will be emotionally stable and rational at all times, and will not cry and make a fuss over trivial matters.It is inevitable for a woman to be narrow-minded. One day her boyfriend's attitude is tired, and she will be suspicious.Here is my advice to girls who are in love. Men hope that their girlfriends will have more trust and confidence in themselves. Don't be jealous all day long to test whether he has changed his mind, and guard him like a thief.
be his buddy
The most ideal romantic relationship must be mixed with love and friendship.To be his girlfriend, but also to be his best friend.In fact, men also hope to have common hobbies with their girlfriends. If they share fun and laugh together, the relationship will naturally become more harmonious.If you are in love, you may wish to cultivate common interests with your boyfriend, watch the World Cup with him, ask him to play tennis, watch a drama together, or go for a ride on a bicycle. These are all great love activities.
take the initiative in bed
Sexy is an attitude, even if you take off your clothes, if you will only spread out on the bed like a dead fish, I am afraid it will only turn off men.sexy?Can't even climb the edge.In the eyes of men, a sexy girlfriend should be an active member on the bed, who knows how to tease him, knows how to fight for and create pleasure in bed, so that a man can feel needed and desired, and his dignity can be greatly satisfied. Sexual interest and love will naturally surge along with it.
If you still haven't figured out how to be a perfect woman in the eyes of men, it doesn't matter, you just need to remember that your perfection is not for men all over the world, but only "he" in your eyes.Then, you might as well choose what you like, he doesn't necessarily like mature women or ladies, it's just right to keep a natural you.He doesn't necessarily want you to be smart or scheming, so you only need to know how to keep him interested and loving in you.
Smart women don't play tricks at any time, play with men, and trample other women.Beautiful women are not created solely by cosmetics and brand packaging.If he likes you now, you have to think about how to make him more attached to you in the future.If you haven't found the right one, then you have to let yourself get in touch with men more, and it's OK to participate in parties or blind dates.You have to know that a man who puts down his work is actually a tired animal. He needs the gentle comfort of women. At this time, whoever you fancy and show your charm, he will definitely submit obediently.This is the so-called, accidentally bumping into a "boyfriend".
4.Learn to be a model student in love
what is love?
Whether it is Shakespeare, the master of love, or a brilliant girl who is just in love on the street, they have all asked such an intriguing question.If psychology were to tell you, love has three lovely ingredients—intimacy, passion, and commitment.
Intimate lovers understand, support, share and care for each other, they have tacit secrets, and the language symbols flowing between them may be difficult for outsiders to understand and intervene.Passion is desire, longing, and obsession. It is easiest for outsiders to equate it with sex, but in fact its extension is far wider than sex.When you fall in love with someone, besides caressing, you have many kinds of intense needs and sacrifices, which are all passions.The last is commitment.It allows us to see not only the past and present of love, but also a beautiful future, where there is a sense of security and a desire for happiness that each of us needs.
Before falling in love, you have to ask yourself: What kind of love do I need?Which one is my love lesson?
In the love model I know, there are roughly four types of love.If you want to obtain an invincible love fairy tale, you must first determine which love course you are studying.
The First Kind of Love: Romantic Love
If you think about someone day and night, and you don’t feel hungry even if you don’t eat, and you feel refreshed even if you don’t drink Coca-Cola when you are with him, then congratulations, you are in romantic love, or in the most romantic relationship. stage.There is intense passion and intimacy in this relationship, but clearly there is not enough commitment.
To have a complete and romantic love, the most important thing is commitment.A love without a promise happens suddenly and ends without a cause.We can guess that maybe it's because the relationship between you and your lover hasn't developed to the stage where you want to stay together for life, maybe you don't care about whether there will be a tomorrow, it's just a whim or alcohol, which made this relationship born.
The Second Kind of Love: The Love of a Companion
If what is lacking is not commitment, but extreme passion, love will seem difficult to trickle down.You seem to have penetrated each other's minds, understood each other's thoughts, and understood the meaning behind each other's habitual actions.In fact, this kind of love is the best way to get along in love. Many lovers can get together in the end. Difficult to last a lifetime.
The third kind of love: illusory love
Illusory love hurts the most, making you no longer believe that there is true love in the world.Illusory love means that you were very pure in your mind before getting involved in love, and you longed for someone to love you well. Maybe you fell into a love with the mentality of moths flying to a flame.You may have a flash marriage, you may elope, you may have an affair after you get married... the love is only for a short moment, it is just a vain illusion.But unfortunately you tried, if you continue to obsess, you are likely to be hurt by love and lose everything.
The Fourth Type of Love: Perfect Love
A perfect relationship, it contains all the ingredients of love, intimacy, passion, commitment, and the matching is just right.Lovers enjoy each other's tacit understanding, see the affection and spark in each other's eyes, and at the same time, they look forward to the same future.
We all long for love, and we all long for full love.But the cruel thing is that perfect things are always difficult to last.Passion is always difficult to exist permanently and in sufficient quantities. If it could, it might not be called passion, but we can still create some small sentiments and small romances in our lives, and add passion to love.
If you want to reap a perfect love, you must first strive to be a model student in love.You get full marks in reading and you have the highest IQ, but you don't necessarily have a high EQ.No matter how successful life is without love, it is like a tree that only blooms but does not bear fruit, and it is difficult to be "satisfactory".
Check your love mentality, are you ready for love?How much do you know about the details of love?
First of all, model students in love need to know how to attract the attention of potential boyfriends, and the proportion of potential boyfriends is quite high.You have to hold the idea of "sweeping everything in one go" and try to catch all the men within the scope of your involvement!
The first step of "Model Student in Love": Cultivate your maternal temperament
59% of men said they would like to date a girl who has a temperament similar to their mother.Do you believe?A man swears to God that one of the most fearful things in his life is that his girlfriend doesn't get along with his mother.Especially the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law in China is even worse.However, the dramatic fate just likes to play tricks on people, letting them be caught in the middle as a punching bag.According to a recent poll by a magazine, 59 percent of men said they would date a girl with a temperament similar to their mother's.
So, if you are still single, don't you need to pay attention to adjusting yourself to be more mature in all aspects?The so-called "maturity" does not mean that you should be a sexy and provocative mature woman. Being considerate, stable, and generous are very important temperaments in the process of falling in love.Of course, if you have all of these things, and you can handle them properly, whether you are single or not, your luck will always be very prosperous.
The second step of "Model Student in Love": Don't be a canary fed by men
Although it is natural for a man to take care of a woman, there is no reason to think that a man should always "be the host" and take care of everything.Men like to appear a gentleman in front of women, lead the way in crowded public places, send a bouquet of roses a day, and buy VIP tickets to spend a romantic night with you... You must not think that men It's only natural to be so attentive, even if you are a high-ranking canary, but in the end you will be locked in a golden cage by him.If you don't show half-appreciation for his overtures and instead take it for granted that he should, watch out for alarm bells starting to ring in his head.
This is what a girl in love takes for granted, thinking that a man is willing to do everything for her.As everyone knows, the coachman also needs to pay back.You must not think that the ATM machine does not charge interest, he pays the bill for your sweet smile, a thoughtful greeting...even, at the right time, you lower your head and accept his marriage proposal.
"I remember after the third date I drove her car out of the parking lot and the gatekeeper handed me a parking ticket and she just stared at me and waited for me to pay. It was unbelievable! Hi, Didn’t I just pay for you to eat a French meal? Do you want me to pay for it? I’ve never been a stingy person, and these small sums are nothing, but my intuition tells me that she is the kind who expects a man to bear all the expenses The woman in my life gave me a lot of pressure invisibly." This is a love experience that a male friend told me through the radio.
It is conceivable that men are not infinitely willing to pay for women.Especially, you are not worth everything for you in his mind!
If you behave like an iron cock everywhere, I am afraid no one will appreciate your careful planning.Therefore, the second step of "model love students": don't be a canary fed by men!Be generous when you should be generous, don't be a "cash machine" that blindly asks for it, and occasionally take the initiative to arrange some dating shows, such as buying movie tickets or admission tickets in advance, rushing to invite everyone to drink for a round at the bar, etc.In this way, men will feel that your girlfriend is both considerate and considerate, and also very good at dealing with the world.
The third step of "Model Student in Love": Pay attention to the "ceremony" before dating
Men have a good face, and they have a bit of a comparison mentality, and they feel extremely glamorous when holding a beautiful girlfriend.So part of the reason for the men's visual effect is that "face" is at work.I've known Dennis for five years, and he's grown from a handsome guy to a handsome, handsome gentleman.He wears a suit and tie, his hair is meticulously done, and he doesn't forget to spray on the good-smelling Davidoff.
I asked him, "Why do you always dress yourself up so well?"
His answer: "Because I want to date pretty girls. I can't stand my girlfriends being slovenly, so I have to be strict with myself first."
"If a girl thinks that I'm interested in her, she'll be sloppy and stop paying attention to her image, the prospects for the two of them may not be so good."
He spread his hands, acting quite helpless, as if the breakup was not his fault.This reason is a bit far-fetched, but it does not mean that this is not the mentality of men.Most men want their girlfriends to be decent and beautiful, at least to "bring them out".So, if you are already in love, in order to leave a good impression on the other party, you must pay attention to your image before dating.Likewise, when it comes to dating, your every move matters.
Step [-] of "Model Student in Love": How do you "seduce" a man rationally
When love is in progress.There is no doubt that the "sex" enthusiasm index is an important prey indicator for men to look for.If you let him feel that you are not very sexually interested and unable to meet his needs from the beginning, he will never be optimistic about this relationship.The sooner he is mentally prepared, the greater the hope of continuing the relationship, and the less likely he will become a "resentful man" after marriage.
"Model student in love" doesn't mean that you should be a good girl in love, but also pay attention to taking the initiative occasionally.
"Come to my apartment for the weekend and she pulls a bottle out of her handbag and says she's going to give me a massage and relax. Man, it's all premeditated, and it's not always about men .” When Ellen said these words to me, there was a strange spark in her eyes, and I almost got electrocuted.It can be seen that his charm is amazing.However, I admire his current girlfriend even more, who is said to be the longest girlfriend he has been with, and the two plan to get married at the end of the year.
Perhaps because of the differences between Eastern and Western cultures, Chinese girls are ashamed to talk about "love", let alone act.However, love knows no country.You have to know that this is the 21st century of globalization, not the feudal era 100 years ago when women were closed to the outside world and their feet were bound. Occasionally taking the initiative will let men know your unknown side, and it is easy to create a climax of love.
A model student in love, you should learn to take the lead in love, so that men will be fascinated by you.For example, when two people are getting along, rub him with the toe painted with danko, or, when passing through a narrow corridor, take advantage of his unpreparedness and touch his arm with your chest...
The fifth step of love model student: hand over the olive branch
Men love women who are reasonable and don't hold grudges.You should let him know that you are a girl who knows how to forgive.
Many men have dated such a girl, misidentified her, and apologized, and more than once, she was relentless and bitter.
"We have only been dating for more than a month, and she caught the flu. During this period, I called every night to say hello. Unexpectedly, she became colder and colder every day. Later, I realized that she blamed me for not visiting in person. I I made up for it, but she made up for it in action. She still looked lukewarm, and she didn't know what she was thinking. Thinking about it carefully, it's really a question of whether we get along. If I really do something wrong in the future, she will be fine. Who can stand being angry for more than half a year?" This is the complaint of a Chinese man.He wrote an E-mail to me expressing his dissatisfaction with his girlfriend. He said: "Angela, because of this incident, my impression of her has become worse. I don't know whether this relationship should continue."
So women should learn to forget before the outbreak of the War of the Roses.Tell him how when you had a dispute with your family, you turned around and threw it out of the sky. Tell him that you hate irrational vindictiveness... Life is not always sunshine and laughter. Some small conflicts are normal. When they happen, face them bravely , listen to his real thoughts, and solve problems together.If the anger is not going well and you still can't forgive the other person, you have to weigh what is most important-is the relationship between the two of you, or you have the upper hand?
Love Model Student Step [-]: Stand by his side forever
A man needs an ally, and a warm woman who can say by his side: "I believe in you!" When you have been with him for a period of time and the relationship tends to be stable, you should give him a sense of trust.
This doesn't mean bowing down to him, submissive, or yelling at his friends when they let him down, but supporting him wholeheartedly and letting him feel that your heart is always on his side.Tell him, for example, that it's not a good sign that his boss is cutting his budget for this year's project.Tell him that vodka with beer is his brilliant invention.When the company had a football league, he waved the flag and cheered for him.
This awareness became particularly strong after Mike, 34, started dating Jenny: "After the second meeting, I took her to my flat and showed her my latest painting and she was so interested and full of praise. .As a professional painter who makes a living from this, I have always had a thick skin, but this time, I really care about whether she is interested. Otherwise, how can I guarantee that she will support me in the future?" Look, how romantic and sincere.Even if he doesn't show it on the surface, he still cares very much in his heart.President Clinton has maintained extraordinary charm both in politics and in private life. Who would not admit that it is because he has a wife who supports him and wholeheartedly assists him?
Men compete to the death in the mall, and it's hard to get wholehearted support from men of the same sex.With a considerate woman to rely on, there is a safe harbor to anchor in, which is more or less a kind of comfort.Men with strong self-esteem often show an indifferent look, and it is even less likely to take the initiative to "ask" for "sponsorship" from women.As a woman, you must be good at understanding their psychology and let him know that you are always on his side. This alone can win you a few points.
(End of this chapter)
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