When love meets psychology
Chapter 4 What are you worrying about love
Chapter 4 What are you worrying about love
Although there is no reason to talk about love, there are definitely rules to follow in love.People who despise the theory of love often have no rules and run into obstacles everywhere on the road of love, while those who have theory but no practical ability can only watch others fall in love.Only those who have mastered the law of love and mastered it skillfully will love and be happy.
1.Paranoia in love
A girl wrote me an e-mail: Angela, I feel terrible right now, I like him, and I feel like he likes me too.But I can't confirm it.I peeked at him during class and thought he sensed it too.When he turned his head, I quickly lowered my head again, and then I always felt that his eyes were on me...God, I don't know if he also meant it, I feel like it is, but he hasn't confessed to me for a long time... What should I do? what to do?Are you delusional?
Are you also troubled by this ambiguous love?It feels like a certain boy is interested in you, but you can't confirm whether it is true or not.If that boy happens to be your crush, things get even worse.You are constantly cutting and judging, and you are caught in the suspicion and troubles of love, and it is difficult to talk about it.
In love psychology, there is a disease called "love paranoia", also known as "love paranoia", fantasizing that you are in love with someone, or that someone you like is passionately in love with you.This is a psychological symptom, depending on the situation.For example, the girl who wrote me an email, I don’t think she has love paranoia, maybe the boy she likes also likes her, or maybe she just fell into a kind of unrequited love.This situation has happened to many girls, especially girls in school days.
Paranoia in love is a psychological symptom caused by having too many expectations, too many fantasies about love, and being too idealized about love.People who love fantasy and focus on romance are prone to love paranoia.Probably every girl suffered from mild paranoia when she was a girl, chasing stars or having a crush on a very good senior, but as she grows older, she no longer has such so-called "childish" fantasies after entering society , Most of them gradually settle for the status quo, marry and have children when they reach the marriageable age.And some individual people, especially women, will leave the aftermath of love in a mild or severe way - paranoia in love.This kind of person may be unrequited love or have been hit by a broken relationship, leading to living in illusory love fantasies.
I have heard of a case where a biologist believed that a technician in his lab had been harassing him for years. To be sure, he entered her home while she was at work and found a room that was an exact replica of his own. , regardless of size, furnishings, furniture and decoration, all are exactly the same.So he found a reason to fire the technician, thinking that she had improper thoughts about him.
Almost all patients with paranoia in love are yearning for an idealized true love. They try their best to get in touch with their imaginary love object through telephone, letters, gifts, visits and other forms, and what's more, they even use surveillance and tracking .A few years ago, Hollywood beauty star Nicole.Kidman was once harassed by a paranoid patient.The target is a fan who has been obsessed with her for more than ten years. He quit his job and sold his property in order to get information about Nicole from the paparazzi.Firsthand information about Kidman, including her phone number and home address.Afterwards, he stalked and monitored persistently, wandering in front of Nicole's house, from wanting to see her every day to pervertingly believing that this was his and Nicole's common love nest, which made people laugh and cry.
The characteristic image of love delusions is generally unmarried, inexperienced in society, solitary, and incapable of establishing and maintaining intimate relationships with others.Love delusional people rarely date people and cling to certain unattainable people.Love cannot be obtained in reality, it is achieved by fantasy, and they think that even imagined love is better than no love at all.They long to be united with others, and the conditions and status of the locked object are almost higher than themselves.
"I have a crush on someone. After a long time, I feel that he seems to understand my thoughts, and his attitude towards me has changed. I thought he was finally moved by me, and I took it for granted that he accepted my love. I am willing to do it for him. Washing, cooking, and even donating my monthly salary to him for food and clothing. In my heart, he is the lover I have identified in this life... But one day, he took out a red invitation card and said He is getting married, but the bride is not me. He told me, you are my best friend, and I hope you can be her bridesmaid when we get married... God, I was supposed to be the bride, but I became someone else's bridesmaid! It turns out that he has not regarded me as a girlfriend but just as a good friend for so many years. I, am I wrong? Did I love him so much that I fell into the delusion of being in love?"
They have a crush on someone and dare not confess their love to the other person. Some people have a crush on someone for a very long time, two, three, four, five years... They imagine that one day the person they love will understand their heart and propose to get together .They have the idea of miracles in love, and they are in love with romantic fairy tales of love, but they can't speak them out. As a result, the prince in the fairy tale becomes someone else's husband, and they themselves come to nothing.Then there is first love, first love is infinitely good, I believe that kind of pure and simple love will never be encountered again.So I fell into it and couldn't extricate myself, the figure of my first love object firmly occupied my heart, almost stubbornly looking for the shadow of my first love from every relationship.Another thing is that because of the lovelorn, he was deeply hit, and he especially longed for a perfect and unrealistic love to dispel the shadow in his heart. Some lovelorn people may think that their ex-boyfriend is still interested in them and stalk them, and some people fall in love out of revenge. An unattainable object, indulging in a fabricated love plot.
For those who are desperate for love, feelings seem to be something lost in their lives. They need the love of others, and more importantly, they need ideal love to fill their empty hearts.Not everyone who longs for love and a perfect lover has love paranoia. We have the right to be loved and whom to love, but if we are too persistent and cannot distinguish between ideals and reality, the ultimate victim is ourselves.Love delusions believe that the emotions they create are the result of a well-intentioned response from their chosen partner.For example, if you have an unrequited love for a person, maybe that person knows that the girl likes him, but he just doesn't respond or refuse.So the girl took it for granted that the other party actually acquiesced in the relationship between the two, just like the above-mentioned girl who can't be a bride but can only be a bridesmaid, she is a veritable unrequited love. "Love paranoia, delusion or attraction", every girl is pregnant, it's okay to like someone, it's okay to want to fall in love, but don't stop at "thinking".It is very likely that in the fabricated romantic dreams, the person who is really holding hands with you in reality will just miss it.It is better to find a real person than to dream for a lifetime. Dreams are easy to dream, but difficult to realize.
2.Good Guys VS Bad Guys
"Men are not bad, women are not loving", this sentence has been heard countless times.Although many women will deny it and even sneer at it, in fact, "bad" men do make women more convinced than "good" men in the traditional sense.
Bad men are generally considered to be "bad": thick-skinned, bold, good at lying, not bound by morality, trick-loving, irresponsible... The strange thing is that these so-called "bad" just hit women's weakness .
"A loyal man is not sexy. An adulterous man is too heavy. A smart man is bad. A stupid man is boring. All loyal and smart men have passed away and become celebrities in the annals of history. A villainous and stupid man will make you die of anger more than sickness. It is more shameful to die than hate."
This is what Hong Kong writer Li Bihua said. Men are also divided into three or six grades, good, bad, smart, stupid, irritable, sullen...the list goes on and on.But most women tend to divide men into two types: good guys and bad guys.
Good men are a group of responsible and responsible people.
Kind, humane, chivalrous, and a good husband.But the personality will be relatively boring, and he will look forward and backward in doing things, which often hinders the development of relationships.For example, if you fall in love with a good man, but you can't experience the taste of love-on your birthday, he will give you a shopping card but not roses, because the shopping card is cheap.This kind of man who lives at home makes you feel that there is no feeling of romantic love. Maybe you get tired of him one day and leave him, but after you have experienced a few failed loves, you will always involuntarily think of giving you a shopping card instead. Not a man of expensive perfumes and roses.You regret it and feel that you have missed a good man, but he said to you: "I used to love you very much, although now sometimes I feel that I love you more than my current girlfriend, but I really can't be sorry She, let alone leave her behind." So you can only look up to the sky and lament that good men belong to others... as for bad men, they are often suave and handsome, and they are young talents.Because there are too many choices, he never stays with any woman for too long.If you force him to make a choice, he will disappear from your sight immediately, so that you can never find him again.It is impossible for him to choose a tree and give up an entire forest.You can't say he's bothered and irresponsible, unless you're worth an entire forest.So bad men are very demanding, they have high self-esteem, are very narcissistic, and tend to be machismo.But their own outstanding enough conditions are fatal to women, like a cigarette, even though they know it is harmful to their health, they are still willing to sacrifice their lives for him.This is the "badness" of a bad man. You have been hurt badly by him, but you still don't change your mind.When someone persuades you to let go, you will say: "It's enough to love once, and he has paid a lot for me. I can't blame him for this matter." "If you are my legend. One person, one person A voice, a demeanor, although nothingness, has become a reliance when lonely, a driving force when working hard, and a habit in life. Because of him, I met my best friend, because of him, I began to know how to turn the tide, because of him , I fell in love with the similar back view. Although there is no lack of youthful impulsiveness in your actions, I am still grateful for having such an experience, which allowed you to fully release the frivolity and madness that Xu Shi only had this time."
If you were my legend.
I don't know whether this man called "legend" exists in this woman's heart as a "good man" or a "bad man". A bad man taught her how to understand love, and a good man taught her how to cherish love.I remembered a sentence: "No matter how bad a man is, there are women who fall in love with him; no matter how bad a woman is, there are men who fall in love with her. It's just because women want to change bad men, and men want to conquer bad women. Women are bad because men teach her Bad; a man is bad, but a woman spoils him."
Someone summed up the three types of bad men that women like:
One is a bad man who can create romance.The expensive thing about this kind of man is that he will never find a seat belt on his body, and all he can bring you is endless stimulation and heartbeat.Therefore, women who fall in love with this kind of man are confident and contradictory. On the one hand, they enjoy his exclusive romance, and on the other hand, they worry whether it is a second-hand romantic print on other women.The second is a bad man who can satisfy his vanity.He can use banknotes to elevate your height, and let your gestures flow out of material nobility.This kind of bad man knows how to use props to win women's hearts. They firmly believe that even if I am ugly, I am still very popular.The third is a bad man who can satisfy his normal physiological needs.On this point, Qian Zhongshu, a romantic talent, told the truth: "How can there be love in the world? It's just an impulse to reproduce."
Compared with bad men, women like two types of good men: one is a good man who is emotionally dedicated, handsome, talented, and has a bit of a temper.This kind of man has a high risk and safety index, because he lacks the emotional intelligence of a bad man.He will not be worried because the number in the bank card has one more zero or one less zero. When he sees the "wild flowers" on the roadside, he will not pick them by hand, but appreciate them with his heart.He deeply understands what is most important to him.
The second is a good man with traditional thinking and optimism.One house, one wife and one child will always be his motto.Women who like this kind of good man have the longest life expectancy, because the chance of "heart disease" is almost zero.
"good man"
Mr. C is a 27-year-old company employee
Considering she has become someone else's girlfriend
When I first entered college, I fell in love with a girl in my class. She was delicate in appearance, but very lively in personality.I secretly paid attention to her for a while, and found that she often went to the reading room to read, so I often used my spare time to go to the reading room to find her.Over time, the two became friends.At this time, I didn't dare to pursue her rashly. After all, I still don't know her character very well, but I think being able to be friends should be regarded as a step towards success.After getting along for more than a month, I found that her personality is not as docile as she looks, sometimes she can be aggressive when she is fierce, and she looks like a boy when she is fighting.At this point, I don't appreciate it very much, and her family conditions are good, which is not on the same level as mine.Just when I was considering whether to start pursuing her, she suddenly told me that she had a crush on a male classmate in the class.I'm quite disappointed, that boy is an active person, and he likes to joke around with girls and engage in ambiguity.I didn't know how to express my feelings, so I had to falter and say that the boy seemed to be fine.In less than a week, the boy started to pursue her actively, with a big posture, chocolate and roses, and I had to quietly watch the girl I liked become someone else's girlfriend.
Good men have always been slow to move, they will consider various factors, so that too much time is wasted.It's not that they don't have goals, but that they aim too slowly. They must consider responsible issues before pursuing them, and they will never act rashly unless they are [-]% determined.For example, you can’t chase someone who is immature, you can’t chase someone who already has a boyfriend, and you can’t chase someone who is not promising in the future... From appearance to personality, from education to family, almost everything has to be weighed, and there are many restrictions.As a result, the rate of good men remaining single is much higher than that of bad men.
Mr. G 25 years old sales agent
My boredom drove her away
My colleague, Ms. A, is a girl who fascinates me very much. She makes me feel like a sister next door when I was a child, kind and lovely.So, I started to be friends with her.Maybe when a person reaches a certain age, she becomes sensitive to things like love. She seems to be able to sense that I have a crush on her, and gradually responds to me.I boldly confessed my love to her, and she also agreed to be my girlfriend.But no one is perfect, and we will inevitably encounter friction in getting along.I don't know if it's my illusion or what, but I always feel that women are very different when they are in a relationship and when they are friends.When getting along with others, she never argues with them, even if others do something wrong, she can tolerate it.But to me, she was very strict, even a little mean.Even if I inadvertently forgot something, or accidentally said the wrong thing, she would go on and on for so long that she would lose her temper.On the contrary, she can refuse to admit after doing something wrong, or play tricks.Whenever I put on a straight face, she said I wasn't humorous enough, that I wasn't interesting, as if the fault was all my fault.For her actions, I can actually accept them all. I always feel that as long as a person is not bad in nature, I can get along well.However, she felt that I didn't understand a girl's heart and wanted to separate from me.I tried to talk to her once and she was very adamant and in the end, I could only watch her leave me with regret.
The emotional experience of good men is very likely to be a failure, because they are too honest to make women happy.Good men are generally strong in principle and follow the rules, which often gives people a very boring feeling.They have strong self-esteem, have a clear sense of right and wrong, will not easily accommodate each other, and are serious about some trivial matters, and finally quarrel endlessly, which makes women very disappointed.If a woman realizes that the two parties are not suitable and proposes to break up, a good man will only adopt fair and aboveboard methods, and at most he will just ask: think again.But the result was not as expected.
"bad man"
Mr. Q is a 23-year-old designer
learn from experience
I'm not born to chase girls. When I was in school, I tried to date a girl with all my heart, but we broke up.At that time, a senior in the same dormitory saw that I was terribly sad, so he told me an undeniable truth in his eyes: women will always only like bad men.Holding this principle, I got to know Xiao U, a beauty-level beauty from the school.My indifferent attitude made her curious about me.So, I began to tell her about the "sadness" in my heart and the "frustrations" I experienced in the past. Whether in terms of family, friendship or emotion, I pretended to be a man who had experienced vicissitudes of life.I am still lukewarm towards her, but she firmly believes in my story. Out of a woman's natural kindness and sympathy, she took the initiative to be friends with me, and would send me messages and care about me when there was nothing wrong.In this way, I gradually came out of the "gloom" and became more and more enthusiastic about her.She saw that I gradually became more cheerful, and was very happy. One night, I asked her out and told her my feelings during this period, with sincere words and sincerity.I told her that I found myself falling in love with a girl while I was getting over the emotional hurt in the past, but this girl was so good, I was afraid that she would reject me and make me hurt even more.Although the plot is very old-fashioned, Xiao U was still moved by me. She said that she couldn't bear to see me get hurt again, and she was willing to be my girlfriend.No matter what the reason is, my goal has been achieved, and in the future, I will occasionally "happen" some things, which will make Xiao U's feelings for me stronger.But to be honest, she and I are not suitable in many ways, and we are just in love with her.
There are no inherently bad men in the world. There is a kind of man who knows how to find his own shortcomings in failure and try his best to make up for it.Women are born with motherhood, most of them are kind but don't have enough ability to distinguish right from wrong, and they all like to listen to nice things, especially immature women.A bad man can make up two stories at will to show that he is superior, and he can easily make women feel elated by talking sweet words to women, thinking that they have found a confidant and lover.In this impetuous social background, the results of years of hard work by a good man are probably not as good as a story made up by a bad man in 3 minutes to make a woman more excited.
Mr. M 29 years old coach
no principles for women
In addition to pursuit, there is also a lot of knowledge when getting along with girls.After trying to meet different types of girls, I also found the one who really suits me.My current girlfriend, Xiao N, is a girl who really wants me to "settle down".She really has nothing to say to me. From the perspective of others, it is my blessing that a "prodigal son" like me can find a girl who treats me so well, but I know in my heart that this is also bought with skills.It's inevitable to say nice things, and it's more important to go with her in most cases.She loves constellations, so I will browse some websites about constellations and find common topics with her. If the constellations say that we are in harmony, I will say that this is the fate bestowed on us by God. If the constellations say that we have problems in certain aspects, I told her not to think about it, and left all the problems to me to resolve.Don't believe a woman's "speak directly, welcome to advise", because once you tell their shortcomings, she will endlessly mention her shortcomings that you have said, and then keep asking questions You: "Do I have this?" And you must find a reasonable and desirable answer.This process will bring a lot of unnecessary trouble.Once there is a conflict between the two of you, try not to quarrel with her. Changing the subject, admitting a small mistake or even coaxing her will show your maturity even more.After the matter is over, she will also realize that she is wrong, even if she doesn't say it, her favor and dependence on you will increase in her heart.Women like freshness and surprises. They are duplicity animals, and they often accommodate men who make themselves comfortable because they pay too much attention to feelings.Therefore, in my opinion, the most important thing to get along with a girl is to make her feel that you understand her heart and are willing to do things for her that you don't want to do but can make her happy.
The skills of bad men are endless. They are thick-skinned, bold, good at lying, and love to play tricks, and these characteristics just hit the weakness of women.They understand girls' psychology, and they are very clear that those illusory words and worthless face may be exchanged for a woman's determination.From this point of view, the way of courtship of bad men is indeed much more effective than that of good men.Based on women's vanity, self-esteem, and sweet talk, honest and good men often fail to meet their expectations. Only bad men can fabricate an ideal world in their minds.When a good man and a bad man with similar conditions meet the same woman, the bad man will be much more lethal.However, even if he is a bad man, he also knows what a really good woman is. Tolerance is just to reduce friction in love, and running-in is the way to get along for a lifetime.
"A man is not a good thing, because he is a man, just like marijuana. When he likes you, he can satisfy any of your requirements. When he abandons you, he throws you like a puppy." A Ran said.
Single women like A Ran have many reasons to convince themselves not to fall in love, one of which is very important: men are too bad.
Zhang Ailing once said: "If you don't flirt with a woman, she will say that you are not a man; if you flirt with her, she will say that you are not a classy person, and it will be difficult to be a man. Men have to choose, and they would rather not be classy." People should be a man first, even if it is a bad man."
Compared with good men, women are more willing to contact bad men and feel that they can conquer him.Even though I reject bad men from the bottom of my heart, I still can't help being attracted to them.The bad man is lively, funny, humorous and romantic, it will raise your appetite high, and suddenly give you a surprise when you are so angry that you are about to cry, making you laugh out of tears and smile with joy.And a good man is always so wimpy, he will do what you say, he is afraid of you crying and afraid of you being hurt, coaxing you and pampering you, over time you feel that his tolerance and patience are all due.Bad men bully others arrogantly. You know that the victim will be in pain, but you are used to numb your mood to watch tragedies, while good men just want to calm down and not hurt others even if they are bullied.Loving a good man is doomed to stay together plainly, while liking a bad man will bring a lot of happiness and also bear a lot of sorrow.
3.friendship in love
"Angela, I'm crazy. I fell in love with my friend's boyfriend. He is my best friend. I introduced him to my girlfriend... I don't know what to do. If I confess, yes It’s not that I want to lose two friendships at the same time, but if I keep it hidden in my heart, I will feel very uncomfortable. Every time I see them getting close together, I can’t stand it, but I can’t show it, and I can’t leave halfway... God, What should I do? Tell me, do you want love or friendship? "
There is a saying "There are no friends in the world of love", love is like the left hand, friendship is like the right hand.In the face of lovers and friends, it is destined not to have both. If you choose love, it means losing your friends, and vice versa.It depends on whether love is important or friends are important.Few people can achieve a balance between the two. Often love has no results and at the same time destroys friendship.If it's just a matter between two people, many people choose to engage in ambiguity, that is, to maintain the relationship between friends and lovers, a little closer than friends, but not to the level of love.And both sides are clever not to pierce this delicate barrier, and carry the ambiguity to the end.But the MM above is in trouble. She likes her good friend's boyfriend, and this boyfriend is also her good friend, and even worse, she met earlier than her female friend.Since this is the case, why didn't the two of them talk about it when they were friends, and introduced the boy to their sisters generously? Isn't this obviously shooting themselves in the foot?One side is friendship, the other side is love, neither left nor right makes it difficult for myself.Facing lovers and friends pretending not to care, the hands that are outstretched are empty and helpless.How about accepting the affections of strangers?Friendship will still compete with love, because you only have one choice.
Friendship is extensive, love is unique.Friendship cannot compete with love. Friendship has the measure of friendship. The basis of friendship is mutual understanding and consideration. It is a kind of appreciation rather than possession. One person can have many friends at the same time.And love is the closest relationship between two people. Tolerance and love are the guarantee of its existence. Love is possession and uniqueness to a certain extent. One person cannot have many loves at the same time.
Many people often question: "Is there a real and pure friendship between a man and a woman?" Most of the time, two people are just friends in a normal relationship, but after getting along for a long time, they find that both parties call each other very much. The transition to lovers is a happy ending for all.But what if "falling flowers are intentional, flowing water is merciless"?Friendship has deteriorated, and even one party will hate the other party for a lifetime.
Some people pretend to be confused, pretending to be ignorant, and obviously like each other, but approach them under the guise of friends, and then get the moon first.But often the other party doesn't necessarily know the person's intention to make friends with him/her, so it is easy to get lost in the friendship, and later, it evolves into "obviously doesn't like the other party but can't let go of the friendship that has been established".If the girl caught in a love triangle can tell clearly whether her feelings for the boy are friendship or love at the beginning, she will not have the regret of pushing the person she likes to a good friend.
I suggest, especially girls, that it is necessary to understand the difference between friendship and love, and not to mistake friendship for love and love for friendship.A famous psychologist in Japan proposed five indicators for the difference between love and friendship:
First, the pillars are different
The pillar of friendship is "understanding", while love is "feeling".The most important pillar of friendship is to understand each other, not only the good side of character, but also the dark side.But love is not the case. It is the beautification of the other party, and love is born after being regarded as an ideal. The whole process running through it is emotion.
Second, the status is different
The status of friendship is "equality", but love must be "integration".Friends have the same position and equal status, and there is no need to be extra polite to each other.If you encounter a situation that is unfavorable to your friends, you can directly advise them.Between friends, there can be a harmonious resonance, or there can be huge differences.And love, it has a sense of unity, although the body is two, the heart is one, the two do not collide with each other, but merge with each other.
Third, the system is different
Friendship is "open", love is "closed".There is a solid friendship between two people. When a third or fourth person with the same interests wants to join, everyone welcomes it.But love is not. If two people are in love, if a third party joins in, no matter what the purpose and reason are, it will only lead to conflicts and injuries.
Fourth, the basis is different
The basis of friendship is "trust", while love is "uneasy".A sincere friendship has an absolute sense of trust, but two people who love each other have a sense of dependence and are also surrounded by various worries and insecurities.They questioned because of their love for each other: "I love her deeply, does she also love me deeply?" "His attitude has changed, does he still love me as before?"
Fifth, the mood is different
Friendship is full of "sufficiency", but love is full of "deficiency".When two people are close best friends, there is a contented state of mind for each other.And once two people become lovers, although there will be a sense of sufficiency at the beginning, they will feel dissatisfied soon after, hoping for a stronger proof of love, followed by an "inexplicable sense of lack".
For the acquaintance of the opposite sex, you should first confirm your feelings for him, whether it is just a touch of appreciation, or the concern that you can't let go of.Some people say: "I like him, and he also has a crush on me. We are lovers now." Actually, no, you like him, how deeply do you like him, does he haunt you in your dreams?If you just like it lightly and feel that the person is nice and similar to yourself in some ways, then you should weigh whether this is a kind of confidant feeling due to the attraction of opposite sexes.Similarly, if he has a good impression of you, how deep is this "favor"? If it is just a good impression, it does not mean that he loves you. Under the same conditions, he has many choices, and there are many people who have a good impression. Maybe you put him As a lover, he treats you only as a friend.
Secondly, when in contact with each other, the attitude must be solemn and lively, not artificial.We should treat others the way we want others to treat us.This is exactly what Confucius said: "Three friends are beneficial, and three friends are detrimental. Friends who are straightforward, forgiving, and friends who learn a lot are beneficial; friends are evasive, friendly and soft, and friends are foolish, which is harmful." Humans have a basic need called "Affinity needs", that is, the pursuit of friendly and intimate interpersonal needs.People often feel uneasy when they are alone, but they feel much more at ease when they are with friends.Especially, when encountering some lost things, I very much hope to have a opposite sex by my side, silently caring for myself, and listening to myself.At this time, even the friend who is usually the most unscrupulous joker becomes a hidden "lover".why?Because of loneliness, grievance, depression... Accompanied by various negative emotions, people become fragile and helpless, shrinking themselves like animals, and yearn for a warm embrace at this time.The simple friendship has changed, but not because of love. "If you don't love him, don't give him fantasy."
The concept of friendship in love is different between men and women: for a man, a long-term close friendship with the opposite sex tends to turn into a relationship, and he takes it for granted that the other party has this consciousness.But women are not. She distinguishes between love and friendship very clearly.What is more important to remind is that the friendship between opposite sexes is often tinged with sex, so each other should learn to control and master the measure, otherwise, this kind of friendship will lose its purity.
MilanKundera said: "Love keeps a person forever young." This refers to "love" in a broad sense, including love and friendship.Therefore, when young you and I face the multiple-choice question of "Is love or friendship important", you should ask yourself whether the person you love is important or the friend who shares weal and woe with you is more important.It may be cruel to ask such a question, but love and friendship are not more important, they are both needed and indispensable.Because love and friendship are good companions for the lonely soul in the journey of life. Friendship is as light as tea, while love is as thick as wine. Good tea is fragrant and thirst-quenching, and good wine is mellow and intoxicating.A happy life cannot live without love and friends.
4.love well, love yourself well
"Love well, love yourself well."
When I wrote this sentence, I asked myself: Who is the most important person, the closest person, and the most cherished person in my life?Is it a lover?no.The answer is: yourself.
Why are you in love?It is to make yourself happier and enjoy the life of being loved more.This is not out of selfish nature, but because everyone is a lonely individual, and love comes from loneliness.
Many young girls may not be able to understand the truth of this sentence, but if they talk about love a few times, they will find that the more in love, the lonelier they are.So, on the road of growth, you try your best to retain a person who accompany you to see the scenery, and treat him well, but if he leaves you, how will you get used to the loneliness of watching the scenery alone?So, I want to tell all the female compatriots in the world: when you are two, love well; when you are alone, love yourself well.
"I find it hard to please a man." Lisa had just ended a relationship that was envied by others. "Many people said that I was in a cocoon, but I still wanted to leave him. I was too tired to be with him, shrouded in a halo, and many people stared at me. , he himself became unnatural. I asked him, do you love me? Can you live well without me? Will you fall in love with other women... He said, honey, no, I don’t have anything but you Will love another woman again, but we don't need each other, we can live well without each other. How can he say such cruel things, I thought, how much I love him, lose myself for him, like This is a plaything for people to see. I have wanted to leave him countless times, but in the end I still can't bear it. Running away again and again, getting drunk again and again, can't let me get rid of his shadow, until this time, I don't want to struggle anymore, It's up to me to break up, at least it saves face. I'm sure he'll be fine without me and have another woman... But it doesn't matter, the things I used to worry about like crazy don't mean anything to me now, Because I'm leaving him to live my own life. I can't love people, but at least I can love myself."
No matter how beautiful and successful a woman is, she longs for someone to love her. They often lose themselves in love, waste their beauty and lose everything.Some people think this is miserable, no one loves a woman, so what's the use of being beautiful and shrewd?I said not necessarily, a woman can have no one to love, but at least she still has herself, and a woman should love herself.If a woman doesn't even love herself, how can she expect others to love you.
Lisa's self-love until she finally made up her mind to break up with the man she loved. She said that she wanted to preserve the last dignity of a woman.I still can’t agree, if it’s just for the sake of saving face, you don’t have to. If you’re in love, you’re in love. To turn around to find the next scenery.
Some people love for love's sake, and they need love just to relieve the loneliness and desire in their hearts, or even love for face.What is the meaning of such love?Love ends up cocooning itself and sacrificing for love.How can a woman deserve the love of others if she doesn't know how to love herself?A woman who understands love must let men understand that every woman is an angel who has fallen into the mortal world, without the decoration of feathers and halos, she is still pure and beautiful.
Love well, how a woman should love
Although there is no reason to talk about love, there are definitely rules to follow in love.People who despise the theory of love often have no rules and run into walls everywhere on the road of love, while those who have no theory but no practical ability can only watch helplessly, with more than enough heart but not enough power.Only those who have mastered the law of love and mastered it skillfully can love and be happy.
So, please remember, never go along with him just to please him.No one likes people who follow others, have no insights and no thoughts, unless you are so beautiful that you don't need wisdom and personality, but even if you are so beautiful, sometimes others will get tired of it.Therefore, bravely expressing your true thoughts will not only not offend him, but will make him think that you are an interesting person worth exploring.
Every man wants to be a knight, don't deprive him of the dream he has had since childhood.When you are in love, if you always rush to the front and express your love impatiently, no matter how much he loves you, he will become less proactive.Difficult conquests are always more exciting than easy ones. Even if you love him so much that you can't help yourself, don't forget to take care of his "hero complex".
Remember, he is not the whole of your life, don't care about everything when you fall in love.You don't have to give him all your spare time.You are not the whole of his life, he has friends, parents, brothers and sisters, if you use love as a threat to empty his world to you alone, sooner or later he will not be able to stand you and choose to leave—because Instead of bringing him joy, your love has turned him into your colony.
"I still live very well without you, and live with gusto."
A woman who loves herself well can understand life and be a confident, beautiful, and lovely woman.
When working, don't worry too much, don't frown, and don't complain.Give yourself a beautiful smile and relax your mind.You can also be like me, write love with a pen, and then write strength, and use words of encouragement and warning to make yourself full of confidence.
During the break, go shopping and think about nothing.Don't be obsessed with designer fashion and cosmetics, always know that the spirit is more important.
When you are sad or wronged, cry whenever you want, pat your face after crying, shake off your sad emotions with a smile, and try to live in the present moment.
When you are bullied, you must get it back, but don't hold grudges.When you are hurt by a friend, don't doubt friendship, but beware of those who betray you.Forgive, but don't forget.
Be naive and childlike in life, and maintain a chivalrous feeling towards your friends.Be happy, be cheerful, be tough, be warm.A healthy and regular life is the premise of beauty. Get up in the morning to run and exercise, and make yourself a glass of milk before going to bed at night.
It is best not to smoke, women who smoke are old.Youth is so short, don't lament your old age, you can look up occasionally.
Take care of yourself softly and gently, and learn to forgive yourself.The nature of life is joy, like a flower that blooms. "Love others as yourself".In the same way, if you don't even love yourself, how can you love others?
Be the Woman Who Loves Herself, 60 Tips for Women
1.Buy what you like, and don't expect others to give it to you.
2.When you are lonely, don't listen to slow songs, nostalgia, or get tired of dying on the Internet, stand up and do exercises or chat with friends.
3.Seriously play, but remember it's just a game.
4.Remember to smile when you receive a sweet text message, then delete it.
5.Before you crave a cookie, put your hand on your stomach and feel the fat.
6.Drink less juice and eat more fruit, eat less snacks and drink more water, sit less and stand more, think less and watch more, talk less and do more, nostalgia and longing more.
7.There will never be another man who loves you like Dad, so of course the man you love the most is Dad.
8. Delete the ex-boyfriend's number in MSN and mobile phone, so as to avoid looking for him when you are nervous.
9.Losing weight is for a better life.If you lose the joy of life because of losing weight, it is better to give up.
10.Set small goals every day and work hard to achieve them.
11.Resolutely don't buy clothes that are one size bigger, and don't give yourself room for obesity.
12.If you eat it, you will never spit it out again, so think carefully before eating.The same is true of love.
13.Birthday, Christmas, Valentine's Day, remember to buy a gift for yourself.
14.Find ways to work hard to make money, not how to save money.
15.Believe in the existence of love and Mr. Right, and never refuse to be with Mr. Right before that. Wrong people share life.
16.When you see it through, pretend you don't see it through.
17.Once underwear is damaged, never wear it again and throw it away immediately.
18.I keep in touch with my dad every day, often communicate with my best friends, occasionally send text messages to friends who I don’t often contact, and never look back for my former lovers.
19.Remember your mistakes and find ways to make amends, but never blame yourself.
20.When angry, count to 30 before speaking.
twenty one.Do a good job of sun protection, but remember to bask in the sun properly.Mood also photosynthesizes.
twenty two.Before paying for your boyfriend, think about whether you have treated yourself like this.
twenty three.It is better to sleep at noon when you are in a downturn, and you will take a big vacation when you encounter a downturn.
twenty four.Buy what you really fancy, don't borrow money.Chase the man you really like and do what you can.
25．Before the crazy shopping on the streets during the holidays, 100 yuan was deducted from the wallet.
26．Don't use your boyfriend's birthday in your bank card password.
27．Never complain to former lovers.
28．Before you head out, think about the shoes you'll be wearing based on the length and intensity of your walk.
29．Even if you just go downstairs to buy fruit, remember not to dress too sloppily.You never know when you might meet someone.
30．When squeezing the bus, don't squeeze too tightly with others, reserve a little space for yourself.The same is true for work and study.
31．Carry with you: tissues, mirror, pads, wallet (with money in it), keys.Don't take it with you: rings from old lovers, photos, memories.
32．Pick a sport you like and stick to it.
33．You can find cheap clothes, but remember that your taste is higher than this price.
34．Skin care products on the table are always more expensive and better than cosmetics. For women, external maintenance is not as good as internal adjustment.
35．Wearing gloves before doing laundry is always a good way to protect yourself.
36．Get into the habit of keeping a diary, even if it's just a few words.
37．You can disagree, but learn to respect.
38．Remember to smile when you are on the phone, so the other party can hear you.
39．Focus on the inside, but don't neglect the outside.
40．Bookkeeping every month, saving every month.
41．Know trends, but don't have to follow them.
42．You look as old as you are.
43．When you can't make a decision, let time help you decide.If you still can't decide, do it.I would rather make a mistake than regret it.
44．Treat love as a luxury.It is best to have it, and you can live without it.Follow fate, but that doesn't mean you don't work hard.
45．Compliments from male colleagues are like perfume—you can smell them, but you can't taste them.
46．Nothing or anyone needs you to stay awake past 12 o'clock in the middle of the night.
47．Even if you are as beautiful as a fairy, you still have to be reasonable in what you do.
48．Do not take more than 10 sleeping pills at home.
49．Learn to cook a few good dishes and cook soup for yourself on weekends.
50．When a married ex-boyfriend calls to ask how he is doing recently, he must answer happily and loudly: Yes!
51．In the past, fairy tales began with "Once upon a time"; now, fairy tales begin with "If I hadn't married yet".Remember that you are past the age of fairy tales.
52．You don't have to confess your past to your new boyfriend, especially not if you love him.
53．Do not make love scenes with anyone under any circumstances.
54．Don't think about being a single mother.Children don't need a father, but you need a lover.A child caregiver desperately needs someone to take care of.
55．You should be happy when someone praises you for being young.
56．Don't worry about your looks: you are as big as you look.
57．Falling in love is like playing mahjong: if you’re not serious, you’re not interested, if you’re too serious, you’ll be sad—how about cultivating a little game spirit?
58．A middle-aged divorced man proposes, say no; a man who once betrayed wants to turn around, say no; a man you once betrayed asks you to turn back, say no.
59．Don't be obsessed with things with gorgeous packaging. The new clothes every season in fashion magazines are recommended to movie stars and models.
60．Women should be tougher on themselves.
With psychological test
People's communication often starts with getting acquainted, develops good feelings for each other, conducts closer communication, and then decides whether to fix it as a love relationship according to the communication situation.But after developing a good impression and before getting in close contact, it is often unclear whether they love each other or like each other, and it is possible to misunderstand friendship as love.The following test can help you know whether you like or love the other person.
love test
1: There are 13 sentences below, tick "√" before the sentences that match you.There are a total of _____ sentences with “√”.
When I was with him, I felt as if both of us had the same mood.
I think he's very good.
I would like to recommend him to do respectable things.
In my opinion, he is very mature.
I have high confidence in him.
I think most of the people who get along with him will have a good impression.
I feel very similar to him.
I am willing to vote for him in everything in the class or group.
I think he is one of many people who is easy to respect.
I think he's 12 smart.
I thought he was the most likable of all the people I knew.
He's the kind of guy I really want to learn from.
I think it is very easy for him to win the favor of others.
2: Among the following 13 sentences, there are _____ ones that ticked "√".
When he's feeling down, it's my job to cheer him up.
I can rely on him in all matters.
I find it easy to ignore his faults.
I would do anything for him.
I had a sort of appropriation of him.
I would feel very unfortunate if I couldn't be with him.
If I am lonely, the first thing I think of is to go to him.
There are many things that I need to care about, but the most important thing is whether he is happy or not.
No matter what he does, I am willing to forgive him.
I feel his happiness is my responsibility.
When I'm with him, I don't want to do anything but put my eyes on him.
If I can also make him [-]% trustworthy, I feel very happy.
I find it difficult to live without him.
How many sentences fit your situation in Test 1 and Test 2?If there are more sentences matching you in test 1 than in test 2, then you like the other person more than love, and the relationship between you is friendship rather than love.The opposite is love rather than friendship.
(End of this chapter)
Although there is no reason to talk about love, there are definitely rules to follow in love.People who despise the theory of love often have no rules and run into obstacles everywhere on the road of love, while those who have theory but no practical ability can only watch others fall in love.Only those who have mastered the law of love and mastered it skillfully will love and be happy.
1.Paranoia in love
A girl wrote me an e-mail: Angela, I feel terrible right now, I like him, and I feel like he likes me too.But I can't confirm it.I peeked at him during class and thought he sensed it too.When he turned his head, I quickly lowered my head again, and then I always felt that his eyes were on me...God, I don't know if he also meant it, I feel like it is, but he hasn't confessed to me for a long time... What should I do? what to do?Are you delusional?
Are you also troubled by this ambiguous love?It feels like a certain boy is interested in you, but you can't confirm whether it is true or not.If that boy happens to be your crush, things get even worse.You are constantly cutting and judging, and you are caught in the suspicion and troubles of love, and it is difficult to talk about it.
In love psychology, there is a disease called "love paranoia", also known as "love paranoia", fantasizing that you are in love with someone, or that someone you like is passionately in love with you.This is a psychological symptom, depending on the situation.For example, the girl who wrote me an email, I don’t think she has love paranoia, maybe the boy she likes also likes her, or maybe she just fell into a kind of unrequited love.This situation has happened to many girls, especially girls in school days.
Paranoia in love is a psychological symptom caused by having too many expectations, too many fantasies about love, and being too idealized about love.People who love fantasy and focus on romance are prone to love paranoia.Probably every girl suffered from mild paranoia when she was a girl, chasing stars or having a crush on a very good senior, but as she grows older, she no longer has such so-called "childish" fantasies after entering society , Most of them gradually settle for the status quo, marry and have children when they reach the marriageable age.And some individual people, especially women, will leave the aftermath of love in a mild or severe way - paranoia in love.This kind of person may be unrequited love or have been hit by a broken relationship, leading to living in illusory love fantasies.
I have heard of a case where a biologist believed that a technician in his lab had been harassing him for years. To be sure, he entered her home while she was at work and found a room that was an exact replica of his own. , regardless of size, furnishings, furniture and decoration, all are exactly the same.So he found a reason to fire the technician, thinking that she had improper thoughts about him.
Almost all patients with paranoia in love are yearning for an idealized true love. They try their best to get in touch with their imaginary love object through telephone, letters, gifts, visits and other forms, and what's more, they even use surveillance and tracking .A few years ago, Hollywood beauty star Nicole.Kidman was once harassed by a paranoid patient.The target is a fan who has been obsessed with her for more than ten years. He quit his job and sold his property in order to get information about Nicole from the paparazzi.Firsthand information about Kidman, including her phone number and home address.Afterwards, he stalked and monitored persistently, wandering in front of Nicole's house, from wanting to see her every day to pervertingly believing that this was his and Nicole's common love nest, which made people laugh and cry.
The characteristic image of love delusions is generally unmarried, inexperienced in society, solitary, and incapable of establishing and maintaining intimate relationships with others.Love delusional people rarely date people and cling to certain unattainable people.Love cannot be obtained in reality, it is achieved by fantasy, and they think that even imagined love is better than no love at all.They long to be united with others, and the conditions and status of the locked object are almost higher than themselves.
"I have a crush on someone. After a long time, I feel that he seems to understand my thoughts, and his attitude towards me has changed. I thought he was finally moved by me, and I took it for granted that he accepted my love. I am willing to do it for him. Washing, cooking, and even donating my monthly salary to him for food and clothing. In my heart, he is the lover I have identified in this life... But one day, he took out a red invitation card and said He is getting married, but the bride is not me. He told me, you are my best friend, and I hope you can be her bridesmaid when we get married... God, I was supposed to be the bride, but I became someone else's bridesmaid! It turns out that he has not regarded me as a girlfriend but just as a good friend for so many years. I, am I wrong? Did I love him so much that I fell into the delusion of being in love?"
They have a crush on someone and dare not confess their love to the other person. Some people have a crush on someone for a very long time, two, three, four, five years... They imagine that one day the person they love will understand their heart and propose to get together .They have the idea of miracles in love, and they are in love with romantic fairy tales of love, but they can't speak them out. As a result, the prince in the fairy tale becomes someone else's husband, and they themselves come to nothing.Then there is first love, first love is infinitely good, I believe that kind of pure and simple love will never be encountered again.So I fell into it and couldn't extricate myself, the figure of my first love object firmly occupied my heart, almost stubbornly looking for the shadow of my first love from every relationship.Another thing is that because of the lovelorn, he was deeply hit, and he especially longed for a perfect and unrealistic love to dispel the shadow in his heart. Some lovelorn people may think that their ex-boyfriend is still interested in them and stalk them, and some people fall in love out of revenge. An unattainable object, indulging in a fabricated love plot.
For those who are desperate for love, feelings seem to be something lost in their lives. They need the love of others, and more importantly, they need ideal love to fill their empty hearts.Not everyone who longs for love and a perfect lover has love paranoia. We have the right to be loved and whom to love, but if we are too persistent and cannot distinguish between ideals and reality, the ultimate victim is ourselves.Love delusions believe that the emotions they create are the result of a well-intentioned response from their chosen partner.For example, if you have an unrequited love for a person, maybe that person knows that the girl likes him, but he just doesn't respond or refuse.So the girl took it for granted that the other party actually acquiesced in the relationship between the two, just like the above-mentioned girl who can't be a bride but can only be a bridesmaid, she is a veritable unrequited love. "Love paranoia, delusion or attraction", every girl is pregnant, it's okay to like someone, it's okay to want to fall in love, but don't stop at "thinking".It is very likely that in the fabricated romantic dreams, the person who is really holding hands with you in reality will just miss it.It is better to find a real person than to dream for a lifetime. Dreams are easy to dream, but difficult to realize.
2.Good Guys VS Bad Guys
"Men are not bad, women are not loving", this sentence has been heard countless times.Although many women will deny it and even sneer at it, in fact, "bad" men do make women more convinced than "good" men in the traditional sense.
Bad men are generally considered to be "bad": thick-skinned, bold, good at lying, not bound by morality, trick-loving, irresponsible... The strange thing is that these so-called "bad" just hit women's weakness .
"A loyal man is not sexy. An adulterous man is too heavy. A smart man is bad. A stupid man is boring. All loyal and smart men have passed away and become celebrities in the annals of history. A villainous and stupid man will make you die of anger more than sickness. It is more shameful to die than hate."
This is what Hong Kong writer Li Bihua said. Men are also divided into three or six grades, good, bad, smart, stupid, irritable, sullen...the list goes on and on.But most women tend to divide men into two types: good guys and bad guys.
Good men are a group of responsible and responsible people.
Kind, humane, chivalrous, and a good husband.But the personality will be relatively boring, and he will look forward and backward in doing things, which often hinders the development of relationships.For example, if you fall in love with a good man, but you can't experience the taste of love-on your birthday, he will give you a shopping card but not roses, because the shopping card is cheap.This kind of man who lives at home makes you feel that there is no feeling of romantic love. Maybe you get tired of him one day and leave him, but after you have experienced a few failed loves, you will always involuntarily think of giving you a shopping card instead. Not a man of expensive perfumes and roses.You regret it and feel that you have missed a good man, but he said to you: "I used to love you very much, although now sometimes I feel that I love you more than my current girlfriend, but I really can't be sorry She, let alone leave her behind." So you can only look up to the sky and lament that good men belong to others... as for bad men, they are often suave and handsome, and they are young talents.Because there are too many choices, he never stays with any woman for too long.If you force him to make a choice, he will disappear from your sight immediately, so that you can never find him again.It is impossible for him to choose a tree and give up an entire forest.You can't say he's bothered and irresponsible, unless you're worth an entire forest.So bad men are very demanding, they have high self-esteem, are very narcissistic, and tend to be machismo.But their own outstanding enough conditions are fatal to women, like a cigarette, even though they know it is harmful to their health, they are still willing to sacrifice their lives for him.This is the "badness" of a bad man. You have been hurt badly by him, but you still don't change your mind.When someone persuades you to let go, you will say: "It's enough to love once, and he has paid a lot for me. I can't blame him for this matter." "If you are my legend. One person, one person A voice, a demeanor, although nothingness, has become a reliance when lonely, a driving force when working hard, and a habit in life. Because of him, I met my best friend, because of him, I began to know how to turn the tide, because of him , I fell in love with the similar back view. Although there is no lack of youthful impulsiveness in your actions, I am still grateful for having such an experience, which allowed you to fully release the frivolity and madness that Xu Shi only had this time."
If you were my legend.
I don't know whether this man called "legend" exists in this woman's heart as a "good man" or a "bad man". A bad man taught her how to understand love, and a good man taught her how to cherish love.I remembered a sentence: "No matter how bad a man is, there are women who fall in love with him; no matter how bad a woman is, there are men who fall in love with her. It's just because women want to change bad men, and men want to conquer bad women. Women are bad because men teach her Bad; a man is bad, but a woman spoils him."
Someone summed up the three types of bad men that women like:
One is a bad man who can create romance.The expensive thing about this kind of man is that he will never find a seat belt on his body, and all he can bring you is endless stimulation and heartbeat.Therefore, women who fall in love with this kind of man are confident and contradictory. On the one hand, they enjoy his exclusive romance, and on the other hand, they worry whether it is a second-hand romantic print on other women.The second is a bad man who can satisfy his vanity.He can use banknotes to elevate your height, and let your gestures flow out of material nobility.This kind of bad man knows how to use props to win women's hearts. They firmly believe that even if I am ugly, I am still very popular.The third is a bad man who can satisfy his normal physiological needs.On this point, Qian Zhongshu, a romantic talent, told the truth: "How can there be love in the world? It's just an impulse to reproduce."
Compared with bad men, women like two types of good men: one is a good man who is emotionally dedicated, handsome, talented, and has a bit of a temper.This kind of man has a high risk and safety index, because he lacks the emotional intelligence of a bad man.He will not be worried because the number in the bank card has one more zero or one less zero. When he sees the "wild flowers" on the roadside, he will not pick them by hand, but appreciate them with his heart.He deeply understands what is most important to him.
The second is a good man with traditional thinking and optimism.One house, one wife and one child will always be his motto.Women who like this kind of good man have the longest life expectancy, because the chance of "heart disease" is almost zero.
"good man"
Mr. C is a 27-year-old company employee
Considering she has become someone else's girlfriend
When I first entered college, I fell in love with a girl in my class. She was delicate in appearance, but very lively in personality.I secretly paid attention to her for a while, and found that she often went to the reading room to read, so I often used my spare time to go to the reading room to find her.Over time, the two became friends.At this time, I didn't dare to pursue her rashly. After all, I still don't know her character very well, but I think being able to be friends should be regarded as a step towards success.After getting along for more than a month, I found that her personality is not as docile as she looks, sometimes she can be aggressive when she is fierce, and she looks like a boy when she is fighting.At this point, I don't appreciate it very much, and her family conditions are good, which is not on the same level as mine.Just when I was considering whether to start pursuing her, she suddenly told me that she had a crush on a male classmate in the class.I'm quite disappointed, that boy is an active person, and he likes to joke around with girls and engage in ambiguity.I didn't know how to express my feelings, so I had to falter and say that the boy seemed to be fine.In less than a week, the boy started to pursue her actively, with a big posture, chocolate and roses, and I had to quietly watch the girl I liked become someone else's girlfriend.
Good men have always been slow to move, they will consider various factors, so that too much time is wasted.It's not that they don't have goals, but that they aim too slowly. They must consider responsible issues before pursuing them, and they will never act rashly unless they are [-]% determined.For example, you can’t chase someone who is immature, you can’t chase someone who already has a boyfriend, and you can’t chase someone who is not promising in the future... From appearance to personality, from education to family, almost everything has to be weighed, and there are many restrictions.As a result, the rate of good men remaining single is much higher than that of bad men.
Mr. G 25 years old sales agent
My boredom drove her away
My colleague, Ms. A, is a girl who fascinates me very much. She makes me feel like a sister next door when I was a child, kind and lovely.So, I started to be friends with her.Maybe when a person reaches a certain age, she becomes sensitive to things like love. She seems to be able to sense that I have a crush on her, and gradually responds to me.I boldly confessed my love to her, and she also agreed to be my girlfriend.But no one is perfect, and we will inevitably encounter friction in getting along.I don't know if it's my illusion or what, but I always feel that women are very different when they are in a relationship and when they are friends.When getting along with others, she never argues with them, even if others do something wrong, she can tolerate it.But to me, she was very strict, even a little mean.Even if I inadvertently forgot something, or accidentally said the wrong thing, she would go on and on for so long that she would lose her temper.On the contrary, she can refuse to admit after doing something wrong, or play tricks.Whenever I put on a straight face, she said I wasn't humorous enough, that I wasn't interesting, as if the fault was all my fault.For her actions, I can actually accept them all. I always feel that as long as a person is not bad in nature, I can get along well.However, she felt that I didn't understand a girl's heart and wanted to separate from me.I tried to talk to her once and she was very adamant and in the end, I could only watch her leave me with regret.
The emotional experience of good men is very likely to be a failure, because they are too honest to make women happy.Good men are generally strong in principle and follow the rules, which often gives people a very boring feeling.They have strong self-esteem, have a clear sense of right and wrong, will not easily accommodate each other, and are serious about some trivial matters, and finally quarrel endlessly, which makes women very disappointed.If a woman realizes that the two parties are not suitable and proposes to break up, a good man will only adopt fair and aboveboard methods, and at most he will just ask: think again.But the result was not as expected.
"bad man"
Mr. Q is a 23-year-old designer
learn from experience
I'm not born to chase girls. When I was in school, I tried to date a girl with all my heart, but we broke up.At that time, a senior in the same dormitory saw that I was terribly sad, so he told me an undeniable truth in his eyes: women will always only like bad men.Holding this principle, I got to know Xiao U, a beauty-level beauty from the school.My indifferent attitude made her curious about me.So, I began to tell her about the "sadness" in my heart and the "frustrations" I experienced in the past. Whether in terms of family, friendship or emotion, I pretended to be a man who had experienced vicissitudes of life.I am still lukewarm towards her, but she firmly believes in my story. Out of a woman's natural kindness and sympathy, she took the initiative to be friends with me, and would send me messages and care about me when there was nothing wrong.In this way, I gradually came out of the "gloom" and became more and more enthusiastic about her.She saw that I gradually became more cheerful, and was very happy. One night, I asked her out and told her my feelings during this period, with sincere words and sincerity.I told her that I found myself falling in love with a girl while I was getting over the emotional hurt in the past, but this girl was so good, I was afraid that she would reject me and make me hurt even more.Although the plot is very old-fashioned, Xiao U was still moved by me. She said that she couldn't bear to see me get hurt again, and she was willing to be my girlfriend.No matter what the reason is, my goal has been achieved, and in the future, I will occasionally "happen" some things, which will make Xiao U's feelings for me stronger.But to be honest, she and I are not suitable in many ways, and we are just in love with her.
There are no inherently bad men in the world. There is a kind of man who knows how to find his own shortcomings in failure and try his best to make up for it.Women are born with motherhood, most of them are kind but don't have enough ability to distinguish right from wrong, and they all like to listen to nice things, especially immature women.A bad man can make up two stories at will to show that he is superior, and he can easily make women feel elated by talking sweet words to women, thinking that they have found a confidant and lover.In this impetuous social background, the results of years of hard work by a good man are probably not as good as a story made up by a bad man in 3 minutes to make a woman more excited.
Mr. M 29 years old coach
no principles for women
In addition to pursuit, there is also a lot of knowledge when getting along with girls.After trying to meet different types of girls, I also found the one who really suits me.My current girlfriend, Xiao N, is a girl who really wants me to "settle down".She really has nothing to say to me. From the perspective of others, it is my blessing that a "prodigal son" like me can find a girl who treats me so well, but I know in my heart that this is also bought with skills.It's inevitable to say nice things, and it's more important to go with her in most cases.She loves constellations, so I will browse some websites about constellations and find common topics with her. If the constellations say that we are in harmony, I will say that this is the fate bestowed on us by God. If the constellations say that we have problems in certain aspects, I told her not to think about it, and left all the problems to me to resolve.Don't believe a woman's "speak directly, welcome to advise", because once you tell their shortcomings, she will endlessly mention her shortcomings that you have said, and then keep asking questions You: "Do I have this?" And you must find a reasonable and desirable answer.This process will bring a lot of unnecessary trouble.Once there is a conflict between the two of you, try not to quarrel with her. Changing the subject, admitting a small mistake or even coaxing her will show your maturity even more.After the matter is over, she will also realize that she is wrong, even if she doesn't say it, her favor and dependence on you will increase in her heart.Women like freshness and surprises. They are duplicity animals, and they often accommodate men who make themselves comfortable because they pay too much attention to feelings.Therefore, in my opinion, the most important thing to get along with a girl is to make her feel that you understand her heart and are willing to do things for her that you don't want to do but can make her happy.
The skills of bad men are endless. They are thick-skinned, bold, good at lying, and love to play tricks, and these characteristics just hit the weakness of women.They understand girls' psychology, and they are very clear that those illusory words and worthless face may be exchanged for a woman's determination.From this point of view, the way of courtship of bad men is indeed much more effective than that of good men.Based on women's vanity, self-esteem, and sweet talk, honest and good men often fail to meet their expectations. Only bad men can fabricate an ideal world in their minds.When a good man and a bad man with similar conditions meet the same woman, the bad man will be much more lethal.However, even if he is a bad man, he also knows what a really good woman is. Tolerance is just to reduce friction in love, and running-in is the way to get along for a lifetime.
"A man is not a good thing, because he is a man, just like marijuana. When he likes you, he can satisfy any of your requirements. When he abandons you, he throws you like a puppy." A Ran said.
Single women like A Ran have many reasons to convince themselves not to fall in love, one of which is very important: men are too bad.
Zhang Ailing once said: "If you don't flirt with a woman, she will say that you are not a man; if you flirt with her, she will say that you are not a classy person, and it will be difficult to be a man. Men have to choose, and they would rather not be classy." People should be a man first, even if it is a bad man."
Compared with good men, women are more willing to contact bad men and feel that they can conquer him.Even though I reject bad men from the bottom of my heart, I still can't help being attracted to them.The bad man is lively, funny, humorous and romantic, it will raise your appetite high, and suddenly give you a surprise when you are so angry that you are about to cry, making you laugh out of tears and smile with joy.And a good man is always so wimpy, he will do what you say, he is afraid of you crying and afraid of you being hurt, coaxing you and pampering you, over time you feel that his tolerance and patience are all due.Bad men bully others arrogantly. You know that the victim will be in pain, but you are used to numb your mood to watch tragedies, while good men just want to calm down and not hurt others even if they are bullied.Loving a good man is doomed to stay together plainly, while liking a bad man will bring a lot of happiness and also bear a lot of sorrow.
3.friendship in love
"Angela, I'm crazy. I fell in love with my friend's boyfriend. He is my best friend. I introduced him to my girlfriend... I don't know what to do. If I confess, yes It’s not that I want to lose two friendships at the same time, but if I keep it hidden in my heart, I will feel very uncomfortable. Every time I see them getting close together, I can’t stand it, but I can’t show it, and I can’t leave halfway... God, What should I do? Tell me, do you want love or friendship? "
There is a saying "There are no friends in the world of love", love is like the left hand, friendship is like the right hand.In the face of lovers and friends, it is destined not to have both. If you choose love, it means losing your friends, and vice versa.It depends on whether love is important or friends are important.Few people can achieve a balance between the two. Often love has no results and at the same time destroys friendship.If it's just a matter between two people, many people choose to engage in ambiguity, that is, to maintain the relationship between friends and lovers, a little closer than friends, but not to the level of love.And both sides are clever not to pierce this delicate barrier, and carry the ambiguity to the end.But the MM above is in trouble. She likes her good friend's boyfriend, and this boyfriend is also her good friend, and even worse, she met earlier than her female friend.Since this is the case, why didn't the two of them talk about it when they were friends, and introduced the boy to their sisters generously? Isn't this obviously shooting themselves in the foot?One side is friendship, the other side is love, neither left nor right makes it difficult for myself.Facing lovers and friends pretending not to care, the hands that are outstretched are empty and helpless.How about accepting the affections of strangers?Friendship will still compete with love, because you only have one choice.
Friendship is extensive, love is unique.Friendship cannot compete with love. Friendship has the measure of friendship. The basis of friendship is mutual understanding and consideration. It is a kind of appreciation rather than possession. One person can have many friends at the same time.And love is the closest relationship between two people. Tolerance and love are the guarantee of its existence. Love is possession and uniqueness to a certain extent. One person cannot have many loves at the same time.
Many people often question: "Is there a real and pure friendship between a man and a woman?" Most of the time, two people are just friends in a normal relationship, but after getting along for a long time, they find that both parties call each other very much. The transition to lovers is a happy ending for all.But what if "falling flowers are intentional, flowing water is merciless"?Friendship has deteriorated, and even one party will hate the other party for a lifetime.
Some people pretend to be confused, pretending to be ignorant, and obviously like each other, but approach them under the guise of friends, and then get the moon first.But often the other party doesn't necessarily know the person's intention to make friends with him/her, so it is easy to get lost in the friendship, and later, it evolves into "obviously doesn't like the other party but can't let go of the friendship that has been established".If the girl caught in a love triangle can tell clearly whether her feelings for the boy are friendship or love at the beginning, she will not have the regret of pushing the person she likes to a good friend.
I suggest, especially girls, that it is necessary to understand the difference between friendship and love, and not to mistake friendship for love and love for friendship.A famous psychologist in Japan proposed five indicators for the difference between love and friendship:
First, the pillars are different
The pillar of friendship is "understanding", while love is "feeling".The most important pillar of friendship is to understand each other, not only the good side of character, but also the dark side.But love is not the case. It is the beautification of the other party, and love is born after being regarded as an ideal. The whole process running through it is emotion.
Second, the status is different
The status of friendship is "equality", but love must be "integration".Friends have the same position and equal status, and there is no need to be extra polite to each other.If you encounter a situation that is unfavorable to your friends, you can directly advise them.Between friends, there can be a harmonious resonance, or there can be huge differences.And love, it has a sense of unity, although the body is two, the heart is one, the two do not collide with each other, but merge with each other.
Third, the system is different
Friendship is "open", love is "closed".There is a solid friendship between two people. When a third or fourth person with the same interests wants to join, everyone welcomes it.But love is not. If two people are in love, if a third party joins in, no matter what the purpose and reason are, it will only lead to conflicts and injuries.
Fourth, the basis is different
The basis of friendship is "trust", while love is "uneasy".A sincere friendship has an absolute sense of trust, but two people who love each other have a sense of dependence and are also surrounded by various worries and insecurities.They questioned because of their love for each other: "I love her deeply, does she also love me deeply?" "His attitude has changed, does he still love me as before?"
Fifth, the mood is different
Friendship is full of "sufficiency", but love is full of "deficiency".When two people are close best friends, there is a contented state of mind for each other.And once two people become lovers, although there will be a sense of sufficiency at the beginning, they will feel dissatisfied soon after, hoping for a stronger proof of love, followed by an "inexplicable sense of lack".
For the acquaintance of the opposite sex, you should first confirm your feelings for him, whether it is just a touch of appreciation, or the concern that you can't let go of.Some people say: "I like him, and he also has a crush on me. We are lovers now." Actually, no, you like him, how deeply do you like him, does he haunt you in your dreams?If you just like it lightly and feel that the person is nice and similar to yourself in some ways, then you should weigh whether this is a kind of confidant feeling due to the attraction of opposite sexes.Similarly, if he has a good impression of you, how deep is this "favor"? If it is just a good impression, it does not mean that he loves you. Under the same conditions, he has many choices, and there are many people who have a good impression. Maybe you put him As a lover, he treats you only as a friend.
Secondly, when in contact with each other, the attitude must be solemn and lively, not artificial.We should treat others the way we want others to treat us.This is exactly what Confucius said: "Three friends are beneficial, and three friends are detrimental. Friends who are straightforward, forgiving, and friends who learn a lot are beneficial; friends are evasive, friendly and soft, and friends are foolish, which is harmful." Humans have a basic need called "Affinity needs", that is, the pursuit of friendly and intimate interpersonal needs.People often feel uneasy when they are alone, but they feel much more at ease when they are with friends.Especially, when encountering some lost things, I very much hope to have a opposite sex by my side, silently caring for myself, and listening to myself.At this time, even the friend who is usually the most unscrupulous joker becomes a hidden "lover".why?Because of loneliness, grievance, depression... Accompanied by various negative emotions, people become fragile and helpless, shrinking themselves like animals, and yearn for a warm embrace at this time.The simple friendship has changed, but not because of love. "If you don't love him, don't give him fantasy."
The concept of friendship in love is different between men and women: for a man, a long-term close friendship with the opposite sex tends to turn into a relationship, and he takes it for granted that the other party has this consciousness.But women are not. She distinguishes between love and friendship very clearly.What is more important to remind is that the friendship between opposite sexes is often tinged with sex, so each other should learn to control and master the measure, otherwise, this kind of friendship will lose its purity.
MilanKundera said: "Love keeps a person forever young." This refers to "love" in a broad sense, including love and friendship.Therefore, when young you and I face the multiple-choice question of "Is love or friendship important", you should ask yourself whether the person you love is important or the friend who shares weal and woe with you is more important.It may be cruel to ask such a question, but love and friendship are not more important, they are both needed and indispensable.Because love and friendship are good companions for the lonely soul in the journey of life. Friendship is as light as tea, while love is as thick as wine. Good tea is fragrant and thirst-quenching, and good wine is mellow and intoxicating.A happy life cannot live without love and friends.
4.love well, love yourself well
"Love well, love yourself well."
When I wrote this sentence, I asked myself: Who is the most important person, the closest person, and the most cherished person in my life?Is it a lover?no.The answer is: yourself.
Why are you in love?It is to make yourself happier and enjoy the life of being loved more.This is not out of selfish nature, but because everyone is a lonely individual, and love comes from loneliness.
Many young girls may not be able to understand the truth of this sentence, but if they talk about love a few times, they will find that the more in love, the lonelier they are.So, on the road of growth, you try your best to retain a person who accompany you to see the scenery, and treat him well, but if he leaves you, how will you get used to the loneliness of watching the scenery alone?So, I want to tell all the female compatriots in the world: when you are two, love well; when you are alone, love yourself well.
"I find it hard to please a man." Lisa had just ended a relationship that was envied by others. "Many people said that I was in a cocoon, but I still wanted to leave him. I was too tired to be with him, shrouded in a halo, and many people stared at me. , he himself became unnatural. I asked him, do you love me? Can you live well without me? Will you fall in love with other women... He said, honey, no, I don’t have anything but you Will love another woman again, but we don't need each other, we can live well without each other. How can he say such cruel things, I thought, how much I love him, lose myself for him, like This is a plaything for people to see. I have wanted to leave him countless times, but in the end I still can't bear it. Running away again and again, getting drunk again and again, can't let me get rid of his shadow, until this time, I don't want to struggle anymore, It's up to me to break up, at least it saves face. I'm sure he'll be fine without me and have another woman... But it doesn't matter, the things I used to worry about like crazy don't mean anything to me now, Because I'm leaving him to live my own life. I can't love people, but at least I can love myself."
No matter how beautiful and successful a woman is, she longs for someone to love her. They often lose themselves in love, waste their beauty and lose everything.Some people think this is miserable, no one loves a woman, so what's the use of being beautiful and shrewd?I said not necessarily, a woman can have no one to love, but at least she still has herself, and a woman should love herself.If a woman doesn't even love herself, how can she expect others to love you.
Lisa's self-love until she finally made up her mind to break up with the man she loved. She said that she wanted to preserve the last dignity of a woman.I still can’t agree, if it’s just for the sake of saving face, you don’t have to. If you’re in love, you’re in love. To turn around to find the next scenery.
Some people love for love's sake, and they need love just to relieve the loneliness and desire in their hearts, or even love for face.What is the meaning of such love?Love ends up cocooning itself and sacrificing for love.How can a woman deserve the love of others if she doesn't know how to love herself?A woman who understands love must let men understand that every woman is an angel who has fallen into the mortal world, without the decoration of feathers and halos, she is still pure and beautiful.
Love well, how a woman should love
Although there is no reason to talk about love, there are definitely rules to follow in love.People who despise the theory of love often have no rules and run into walls everywhere on the road of love, while those who have no theory but no practical ability can only watch helplessly, with more than enough heart but not enough power.Only those who have mastered the law of love and mastered it skillfully can love and be happy.
So, please remember, never go along with him just to please him.No one likes people who follow others, have no insights and no thoughts, unless you are so beautiful that you don't need wisdom and personality, but even if you are so beautiful, sometimes others will get tired of it.Therefore, bravely expressing your true thoughts will not only not offend him, but will make him think that you are an interesting person worth exploring.
Every man wants to be a knight, don't deprive him of the dream he has had since childhood.When you are in love, if you always rush to the front and express your love impatiently, no matter how much he loves you, he will become less proactive.Difficult conquests are always more exciting than easy ones. Even if you love him so much that you can't help yourself, don't forget to take care of his "hero complex".
Remember, he is not the whole of your life, don't care about everything when you fall in love.You don't have to give him all your spare time.You are not the whole of his life, he has friends, parents, brothers and sisters, if you use love as a threat to empty his world to you alone, sooner or later he will not be able to stand you and choose to leave—because Instead of bringing him joy, your love has turned him into your colony.
"I still live very well without you, and live with gusto."
A woman who loves herself well can understand life and be a confident, beautiful, and lovely woman.
When working, don't worry too much, don't frown, and don't complain.Give yourself a beautiful smile and relax your mind.You can also be like me, write love with a pen, and then write strength, and use words of encouragement and warning to make yourself full of confidence.
During the break, go shopping and think about nothing.Don't be obsessed with designer fashion and cosmetics, always know that the spirit is more important.
When you are sad or wronged, cry whenever you want, pat your face after crying, shake off your sad emotions with a smile, and try to live in the present moment.
When you are bullied, you must get it back, but don't hold grudges.When you are hurt by a friend, don't doubt friendship, but beware of those who betray you.Forgive, but don't forget.
Be naive and childlike in life, and maintain a chivalrous feeling towards your friends.Be happy, be cheerful, be tough, be warm.A healthy and regular life is the premise of beauty. Get up in the morning to run and exercise, and make yourself a glass of milk before going to bed at night.
It is best not to smoke, women who smoke are old.Youth is so short, don't lament your old age, you can look up occasionally.
Take care of yourself softly and gently, and learn to forgive yourself.The nature of life is joy, like a flower that blooms. "Love others as yourself".In the same way, if you don't even love yourself, how can you love others?
Be the Woman Who Loves Herself, 60 Tips for Women
1.Buy what you like, and don't expect others to give it to you.
2.When you are lonely, don't listen to slow songs, nostalgia, or get tired of dying on the Internet, stand up and do exercises or chat with friends.
3.Seriously play, but remember it's just a game.
4.Remember to smile when you receive a sweet text message, then delete it.
5.Before you crave a cookie, put your hand on your stomach and feel the fat.
6.Drink less juice and eat more fruit, eat less snacks and drink more water, sit less and stand more, think less and watch more, talk less and do more, nostalgia and longing more.
7.There will never be another man who loves you like Dad, so of course the man you love the most is Dad.
8. Delete the ex-boyfriend's number in MSN and mobile phone, so as to avoid looking for him when you are nervous.
9.Losing weight is for a better life.If you lose the joy of life because of losing weight, it is better to give up.
10.Set small goals every day and work hard to achieve them.
11.Resolutely don't buy clothes that are one size bigger, and don't give yourself room for obesity.
12.If you eat it, you will never spit it out again, so think carefully before eating.The same is true of love.
13.Birthday, Christmas, Valentine's Day, remember to buy a gift for yourself.
14.Find ways to work hard to make money, not how to save money.
15.Believe in the existence of love and Mr. Right, and never refuse to be with Mr. Right before that. Wrong people share life.
16.When you see it through, pretend you don't see it through.
17.Once underwear is damaged, never wear it again and throw it away immediately.
18.I keep in touch with my dad every day, often communicate with my best friends, occasionally send text messages to friends who I don’t often contact, and never look back for my former lovers.
19.Remember your mistakes and find ways to make amends, but never blame yourself.
20.When angry, count to 30 before speaking.
twenty one.Do a good job of sun protection, but remember to bask in the sun properly.Mood also photosynthesizes.
twenty two.Before paying for your boyfriend, think about whether you have treated yourself like this.
twenty three.It is better to sleep at noon when you are in a downturn, and you will take a big vacation when you encounter a downturn.
twenty four.Buy what you really fancy, don't borrow money.Chase the man you really like and do what you can.
25．Before the crazy shopping on the streets during the holidays, 100 yuan was deducted from the wallet.
26．Don't use your boyfriend's birthday in your bank card password.
27．Never complain to former lovers.
28．Before you head out, think about the shoes you'll be wearing based on the length and intensity of your walk.
29．Even if you just go downstairs to buy fruit, remember not to dress too sloppily.You never know when you might meet someone.
30．When squeezing the bus, don't squeeze too tightly with others, reserve a little space for yourself.The same is true for work and study.
31．Carry with you: tissues, mirror, pads, wallet (with money in it), keys.Don't take it with you: rings from old lovers, photos, memories.
32．Pick a sport you like and stick to it.
33．You can find cheap clothes, but remember that your taste is higher than this price.
34．Skin care products on the table are always more expensive and better than cosmetics. For women, external maintenance is not as good as internal adjustment.
35．Wearing gloves before doing laundry is always a good way to protect yourself.
36．Get into the habit of keeping a diary, even if it's just a few words.
37．You can disagree, but learn to respect.
38．Remember to smile when you are on the phone, so the other party can hear you.
39．Focus on the inside, but don't neglect the outside.
40．Bookkeeping every month, saving every month.
41．Know trends, but don't have to follow them.
42．You look as old as you are.
43．When you can't make a decision, let time help you decide.If you still can't decide, do it.I would rather make a mistake than regret it.
44．Treat love as a luxury.It is best to have it, and you can live without it.Follow fate, but that doesn't mean you don't work hard.
45．Compliments from male colleagues are like perfume—you can smell them, but you can't taste them.
46．Nothing or anyone needs you to stay awake past 12 o'clock in the middle of the night.
47．Even if you are as beautiful as a fairy, you still have to be reasonable in what you do.
48．Do not take more than 10 sleeping pills at home.
49．Learn to cook a few good dishes and cook soup for yourself on weekends.
50．When a married ex-boyfriend calls to ask how he is doing recently, he must answer happily and loudly: Yes!
51．In the past, fairy tales began with "Once upon a time"; now, fairy tales begin with "If I hadn't married yet".Remember that you are past the age of fairy tales.
52．You don't have to confess your past to your new boyfriend, especially not if you love him.
53．Do not make love scenes with anyone under any circumstances.
54．Don't think about being a single mother.Children don't need a father, but you need a lover.A child caregiver desperately needs someone to take care of.
55．You should be happy when someone praises you for being young.
56．Don't worry about your looks: you are as big as you look.
57．Falling in love is like playing mahjong: if you’re not serious, you’re not interested, if you’re too serious, you’ll be sad—how about cultivating a little game spirit?
58．A middle-aged divorced man proposes, say no; a man who once betrayed wants to turn around, say no; a man you once betrayed asks you to turn back, say no.
59．Don't be obsessed with things with gorgeous packaging. The new clothes every season in fashion magazines are recommended to movie stars and models.
60．Women should be tougher on themselves.
With psychological test
People's communication often starts with getting acquainted, develops good feelings for each other, conducts closer communication, and then decides whether to fix it as a love relationship according to the communication situation.But after developing a good impression and before getting in close contact, it is often unclear whether they love each other or like each other, and it is possible to misunderstand friendship as love.The following test can help you know whether you like or love the other person.
love test
1: There are 13 sentences below, tick "√" before the sentences that match you.There are a total of _____ sentences with “√”.
When I was with him, I felt as if both of us had the same mood.
I think he's very good.
I would like to recommend him to do respectable things.
In my opinion, he is very mature.
I have high confidence in him.
I think most of the people who get along with him will have a good impression.
I feel very similar to him.
I am willing to vote for him in everything in the class or group.
I think he is one of many people who is easy to respect.
I think he's 12 smart.
I thought he was the most likable of all the people I knew.
He's the kind of guy I really want to learn from.
I think it is very easy for him to win the favor of others.
2: Among the following 13 sentences, there are _____ ones that ticked "√".
When he's feeling down, it's my job to cheer him up.
I can rely on him in all matters.
I find it easy to ignore his faults.
I would do anything for him.
I had a sort of appropriation of him.
I would feel very unfortunate if I couldn't be with him.
If I am lonely, the first thing I think of is to go to him.
There are many things that I need to care about, but the most important thing is whether he is happy or not.
No matter what he does, I am willing to forgive him.
I feel his happiness is my responsibility.
When I'm with him, I don't want to do anything but put my eyes on him.
If I can also make him [-]% trustworthy, I feel very happy.
I find it difficult to live without him.
How many sentences fit your situation in Test 1 and Test 2?If there are more sentences matching you in test 1 than in test 2, then you like the other person more than love, and the relationship between you is friendship rather than love.The opposite is love rather than friendship.
(End of this chapter)
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