When love meets psychology
Chapter 3 Aura in Love
Chapter 3 Aura in Love
In the aura of love, a man recognizes and ponders a woman, and a woman understands a man and herself. "Women are made of water".A smart woman is not only "water", but also "living water".Water is the source of life, no matter how much men look down on women, they need their emotions.Therefore, smart women use their aura to attract the first attention of men, and they are always able to handle the steps of love with ease, being the "living water" that men cannot do without.
1."Aura Rules" You Don't Know
Chen Baocai, the "godfather" of love, said: "A couple should have a common aura besides a husband and wife. The aura is firstly manifested in the two people having a common temper and temper, or a habit."
Whether the love is successful or not, whether two strange men and women who meet for the first time can collide with the spark of love at the first sight, this is not a "love at first sight" born of marriage, which can be concluded.
Recently, a dating show "If You Are the One" in mainland China is very popular. I watched a few episodes. It is very strange that two men and women who don't know each other go from acquaintance to attraction, and then hold hands and fall in love in just ten minutes. too realistic.Love is beautiful and romantic, but at the same time, love is also a mirror that reflects reality. Lovers who come together through a blind date also follow an "aura rule": the attraction of each other's appearance and conversation first forms an external aura The atmosphere, and then the inner aura, that is, each other's understanding and perception of love, is revealed through tacit communication and looking at each other, and a confirmation and consensus is reached, "Yes, he/she is the other half I am looking for".
We often talk about the realm of a woman, first look at her appearance, describe it with beauty, then the temperament exuded from the inside out, whether it is intellectual or emotional, and then her character... For a while, everyone was popular Fight temperament, Taiwanese women, Hong Kong women, mainland women, see who is foreign.This kind of temperament is not through the external dress, but a look, a movement, or even just the perfume used to distinguish the temperament and taste.However, what I want to remind is that if you are still a little girl who doesn't understand anything, don't learn from those women who think they are very sexy and elegant.Very fake.Men don't want such women. At best, they look back a few times and compliment them with a smile, but they will never take them home.
The cultivation of temperament is just a narcissistic behavior of a person. A man does not need a woman who is lonely and self-admiring. What he wants is a woman who can interact with him on an equal footing.A woman is not an ornament, she also has something that needs to be used practically, and at this time, the aura comes into play.
A man is handsome, and he deals with various occasions such as banquets. He may refuse the dance request of a rich daughter and choose to invite an ordinary girl for a drink. Why?
Are you still fantasizing about the princess dream of Cinderella flying on a branch and turning into a phoenix?But the truth is, he's tired of dancing nights with one rich girl after another, and he wants a change.You can't extravagantly hope that a nobleman who deals in social situations will favor an ordinary you, because your aura is wrong.You don't need to look up to him either, because you live in reality, not in a movie.What you have to do is take off his mask when he walks towards you with a smile and bows his head to chess with you.You have to be clear, is this a playboy playing in the flowers, or a "Zorro" wearing a mask.If it's the first type, you don't have to play tricks with him. If it's the second type, it depends on whether he is worth your cooperation.What you long for is not just a short encounter in the play.
Aura makes marriage
Just as a beautiful woman can marry an ugly husband, a smart man can marry a stupid wife.People are often puzzled, "My God, this man is old and ugly, so such a young beauty married him?" It's unbelievable.Then, what outsiders often guess is that this man is very rich, and the girl is very money-worshiping, so they will definitely not end well together.But ten years later, the man is still the same as ten years ago, old and ugly, and the woman is gradually no longer beautiful. People who see this couple are not surprised, and those who asserted that they will divorce also send blessings His words: "Oh, it's really not easy for the two of them to be together for ten years. I hope they can grow old forever."
Have you ever wondered where the union of these two men came from?Husband and wife?impossible.money?Why not divorce.I interviewed the wife: "What did you like about your husband before you decided to marry him?"
"Aura." She said, "My husband is a businessman, and he suffered a lot in his early years. His first wife was a shrewd woman who knew how to do business. At that time, my husband valued this. Cooperate very well to do business together to make money. He and his ex-wife divorced because of money. He thinks that the reason why people make a lot of money is to create a good living environment. When the living environment is too good, they should stop and enjoy life .Unfortunately, his ex-wife didn’t see it this way. He felt that the two people’s ideas deviated, and their life philosophy gradually became different, so he had to divorce. He had been longing to find a woman who could spend his life together until he met me. I am A woman who is content with life and has no ambitions. When she was in her twenties, she also had a few unsuccessful relationships. Most of them were men with good looks or very ambitious. After breaking up, I realized that what I needed was someone who could hold A man who walks slowly while holding my hand, not a man who concentrates on his career or sets his sights on one beautiful woman after another. What I need is a sense of security, and my husband just satisfies this for me. We I have been married for ten years, and there have been conflicts, quarrels and even wanting to divorce, but I persisted in the end. I asked myself several times, how could I live with him for ten years? People often say that beautiful women have ambitions, It's the man's money that counts, not the man. But I told my husband, this kind of woman may exist, but it won't be me. The most important reason we are together is to understand each other and tolerate each other. We are like cogs , the gaps of each other coincide exactly, and connect together.”
"No one thinks you two are not compatible?"
"Yes. When I decided to marry him at the beginning, my parents and friends were against it, thinking that no matter how nice or rich he was, he was not good enough for me. But I married this person, who knew what I needed the most. What, he can give me, that's enough. After marrying him, at the beginning he took me to public places, many of his friends publicly expressed their envy to him, saying that he married a beautiful wife like a lover, and even Few people pointed at me behind my back, saying that I was trying to get his money, which made me very embarrassed. Later, I didn’t go to any occasions he wanted to attend, and I was at home with my husband and children, enjoying family life. Until one day, he For my birthday, I invited my relatives and friends to my home, and when everyone saw me with him, they joked that the two of us got along very well, and the more we looked at it, the more we looked like that. Heh, this is the so-called aura."
The aura also has its established rules.The Chinese are very particular about the "Tao", and the Tao is different, so they don't conspire with each other.Couples and husbands and wives should also follow the "Tao" of an aura in order to achieve a century-old marriage.For example, the political family of Clinton and Hillary, the golden couple of Beckham and Victoria, and the scholarly marriage of Qian Zhongshu and Yang Jiang in China, and the media partners of Yang Lan and Wu Zheng.The big environment is the first, and the mutual support between two people is the second.
No man is so stupid as to marry a vase home. The premise of marrying is that the vase is a famous vase.Because a beautiful famous woman can improve a man's wealth and status.In the same way, no woman is ignorant enough to marry a big bastard who is only packaged with money. At least he must be a master of sentimentality in order to win back the beauty's heart.If you don't have the ambition of "marrying into a wealthy family" or "flying on a branch to become a phoenix", then lower the level of love and find someone who is like-minded and compatible.
How to Tune You into an Aura Master
I often receive questions like this: "Why is love different from what I imagined at the beginning?" "Why did he change after we got together, making it unbearable for me?"
Love is mostly emotional. When the passion and enthusiasm are overwhelmed, suddenly facing everyone in the real world, there will be cognitive incongruity or anxiety.If you start to question love as above, it means that you have stepped out of the emotional stage of love and started to think rationally about the relationship between two people.
I appreciate the line: "You have to be thankful for every failed relationship and lover who hurt you and you hurt, because they are all developing your various strengths to find the next better man."
Indeed, this is the words of a master in love.Readers may ask: What does this sentence have to do with the aura of love?What I want to warn is girls who are in the early stage of love and don’t know what “aura is”. You will be overly excited by a man’s one or two sweet words, and you will miss a lot of his unreliable promises. Marriage - the man you are looking for is not as good as you imagined, you blame yourself for your poor vision, but you don't know, this is because you are not sure about your love aura.
Back to the previous topic.Suppose you meet a love master at a party, and he gives you the impression of a caring, humorous, charming and popular heartthrob, and your heart will quickly fall for him.There are many competitors with better conditions than you. They took the initiative to throw olive branches to the aura man, but he finally chose you.Often you don't notice at this time that he didn't choose you at the first sight, but made a decision after hesitating and wandering among the women, stretching out his hand and asking you to dance with him.Your heart is in turmoil, and then you fall completely.
You accept the jealous and envious eyes of other beauties, and feel that you are the focus of attention.Cupid's arrows shoot at you, making you intoxicated. Ok, if you think this is just a midnight encounter for fun, then naturally there will be no troubles later, but you certainly are not.You think he must have fallen in love with you at first sight, and you match his aura.
There is still a certain difference between the aura and the love field.Your emotional intelligence is not high, you are likely to be a beginner with no love experience, and this man is your first love.Well, unfortunately, tragedy began.
He's behind your back, dating a second woman, then a third, a fourth, even your best friend.You bear it again and again, and in the end, you can't retreat, and you muster up the courage to question your boyfriend.He said: "Honey, I am a man with a very strong appetite. I chose you because I have never tasted your type. Are you satisfied?"
If I were you, I would definitely slap this man twice on the spot, and then apply that very classic sentence: "I would like to thank you for not taking it seriously, compared to your early adopters, you are just a very common practice for me. I have never had the patience to deal with men for more than a week, so I will try to put down my body and test myself, and you are just a good practice product, now you can get out."
It's not that you don't have vision, but that you don't have a good grasp of the aura of love.This man is really good enough to confuse your eyes, but he is not your type.
In fact, the so-called party queen and aura queen are not necessarily the winners in love. Love does not need to be exposed to the spotlight and let others judge.Harvesting long-term love is the true meaning of happiness.
Therefore, girls who are single or who have been broken-up in love are looking for a partner in the vast crowd. They must follow the aura rules of "fast, ruthless, and accurate", without hesitation, shrinking, or discouragement.Of course, don't be afraid of failure.Remember, a life in love is a wonderful life, but at the same time, a life in love is also a life of wind and rain.
2.How much do you understand men
Men always like to tease, they often use their crooked talents in places that make you laugh and cry, they will say this: "If you are not cold, you can't know pines and cypresses; things are not difficult, but you can't know women.
"A man knows what a woman wants.
"Men are confused. (meaning that women are smart)
"The night gave women a pair of black eyes, and women are destined to conquer men with them.
"I came, I watched, I was overwhelmed by Cleopatra.
"A woman who doesn't want to conquer a man is not a good woman.
"A woman who can think is really a person with boundless power.
"Believe in women first, and then others will believe in you.
"I don't like being conquered, but I will defend to the death a woman's right to conquer a man."
Look at the above "classic" remarks, all from the mouth of a man, adapted from the meaning of a man, as a woman, you and I are ashamed to read it-it is always a man who understands women!
This world is made up of men and women, without men there can be no women, without women there can be no men.God created Adam, and Adam disassembled his rib to create Eve, so there is a saying that "a woman is a man's rib".So, as a man's rib, how much do you, a woman, understand about men?
In the aura of love, you need to highly identify professional "aura" men and understand why they are popular.They tend to have the following ten qualities:
1.confidence
A man needs self-confidence, and a man with a strong aura needs a strong backing of self-confidence.The charming temperament of a confident man is enough to break the heart of every woman.
2.temperament
It cannot be denied that temperament is the easiest label to identify an aura man. He may not be handsome, but he must have enough temperament to capture people's hearts.It is often the temperament of this man that a woman first takes a fancy to.
3.control
In the animal world, male animals are basically in an absolute leadership position and have absolute control. One of the important feelings given by the aura is control.Men are born to be the overlords galloping on the battlefield, and women are stunners conquered by men.In her bones, a woman hopes that a man will have the dominance over her and the things around her, and longs to be led.So a man with control is inherently lethal to a woman.
4.concentrate on
A focused man is often able to concentrate his time, energy and wisdom on what he wants to do, so as to maximize his enthusiasm, initiative and creativity.What kind of man is the easiest to conquer women?serious man.
5.demeanor
Demeanor refers to people's speech, manners, and manners. The beautiful charm revealed by demeanor is the natural expression of a person's inner strength.Demeanor cannot be imitated, it is often a person's unique personalized sign.Demeanor is attractive because of strength, strength is the reason, charm is the result, and cause and effect cannot be reversed.
6.profound
The lethality of a man with deep eyes is often fatal, such as Tom.Cruise, for example Jude Law, for example Tony Leung, for example Takeshi Kaneshiro.I'm very interested in this kind of profound men, they have a strong aura, really strong.
7.dashing
Chic is a realm.Don't always think that being unrestrained is just a detached demeanor and demeanor. In fact, being unrestrained is a natural state and a sincere attitude towards life.Born in the world, with an open-minded state of mind, detached from vulgarity and not burdened by worldly affairs, the unrestrained realm comes from rational open-mindedness and enthusiasm for life.Even if a man looks mediocre, as long as he has this chicness, he will appear not inferior and sharp.And if a man with good looks can also achieve a chic mood, then it will be the icing on the cake.
8.adventure
Women are attracted to men who like to do extreme risky, unusual things.Because these things are exciting, there is no denying that being adventurous makes a man sexier.
9.Mature
A man is no longer a boy because he matures.Boys' world is very simple, but men are different.With his own character, strength and reputation, he can walk in the crowd calmly, and mature men show extraordinary charm.
10.callous
Women don't like men who stalk them, this is a kind of psychological inertia.So ruthless men are popular, they are so different among suitors, and they are easy to attract women's attention.In fact, such men are generally more scheming, quietly fascinated by women.
When you recognize the aura man, the next step is how to take the first step in love.Don't think that knowing a man is safe, on the basis of knowing his inner condition, you have to further observe his external conditions.
understand the nature of his work
You must have a very clear understanding of the nature of his work.For example, you have a general idea of what he does, where he works, and even his interpersonal relationships.If you want to fall in love with him, you must pay attention to practical issues, and learn more about his tolerance and maturity through the nature and ability of his work.
observe his behavior
In addition to the nature of work, you have to carefully observe his speech and behavior.The details are the key to success or failure. Whether this man is the same as the outside, see the problem through the details.Being in love is a beautiful feeling, and it’s also real life. You can’t just talk about Plato with movie stars on the screen, so it’s better to be pragmatic.
care about his living environment
A man's self-cultivation and endurance can be seen from his daily routine.One of the most important things in aura science is to find a man with the same interests as you, then you have to pay special attention to his living habits and environment.A man who spends his whole day researching stocks may be a master at making money, but he has no sense of fun.A man who only knows drinking as a hobby is unlikely to be a big deal, and will have a tendency to violence-your love is not happy, it all depends on you seeing the right man from your living environment.
Man is steel, woman is water.Know yourself and know your enemy. The aura of love is not supported by one person. Men conquer women because men like to think about women.As for women, they are emotional animals. In the way of getting along in love, women understand men, but women need to understand themselves more.
Love is often blind, and when a woman gets hurt, she usually blames the man for her fault, failing to see the true face of the man.What about the woman herself?Does the failure of love have its own "contribution"?
When two people are together, they also need to leave each other private space.You think you protect the other party very well, but it often backfires. People may not buy your account, especially men. Instead, he feels that you have too much control, which makes him feel pressured.What a man needs is a partner who is in tune with him and knows what he thinks and wants, instead of becoming a "strict wife".
Therefore, in the aura of love, men recognize and ponder women, and women understand men and themselves.There is a saying: Women are made of water.A smart woman is not only "water", but also "living water".The popular saying is that women should know how to be flexible and deal with different types of men.Most men, especially famous men, actually look down on women in their bones, and even regard women as playthings.Plato said that the talents of men and women are the same, and what men pursue is also what women pursue, but in general, women are inferior to men.And Nietzsche, who has extraordinary feelings for women, also believes that once a woman gets rid of the habit of "fear of men" and hopes to be free, she will lose her "most feminine instinct".His very classic quote - to find a woman?Don't forget to bring your whip!This often contributes to the arrogance of men.But don't forget, men are always inseparable from women.Water is the source of life, no matter how much a man looks down on a woman, he still needs her, and even more needs her emotion.Therefore, a smart woman uses her aura to attract a man's first attention, and is always able to handle the steps of love with ease, being the "living water" that a man cannot do without.A man can't do without you, he knows that once he lets go, he will have to relax for a while--a good woman is rare, and a woman with an aura in love is even rarer.
3.Reduce the distance of each other's "aura"
Different people's personalities and goals determine the direction of love. This is definitely a very accurate law of love.Men and women who are eager to fall in love use psychological tests, horoscope and numerology and other "destined" remarks to lock in love goals, which actually reflects an attitude of aura studies.
What kind of "aura" boyfriend do you want to find?
Know your level first
You pick on others, and others pick on you. "Handsome, rich, humorous, considerate..." When you report a series of nouns, others are also restricting you with "beautiful, gentle, good family background, well-educated" and other conditions.So you should know your own level, which is decisive for what conditions you offer.
Jenny is a very pretty girl, but very silly.Once she asked me: "If I post my picture on the Internet, do you think it will attract a lot of suitors?"
The benevolent see benevolence, the wise see wisdom.I can't guarantee that every man will say that this girl is beautiful after looking at her picture, even if I guarantee that everyone will think she is beautiful, but what about her personality?What about family background?None of this is known.A man pursues a beautiful girl just because she is beautiful. When he really falls in love, he may feel inappropriate, and a beautiful girl will regret it: Oh, God, I shouldn't have made such a stupid decision...
Later, Jenny really put her photo on a dating website, and ten men rated her beauty, with the highest score being 90 and the lowest score being 75.Jenny was very depressed, and she complained to me: "I thought I could get full marks, so I asked a man, why didn't you give me full marks? Who knew that the man answered me, it was because you said that that I couldn't get it." Full marks. You are too proud. There are many beauties in the world, but in my mind, the most beautiful women are those who are modest.” It can be seen that women can’t just rely on appearance to attract men’s attention.
Secondly, you have to make it clear that your partner cannot make up
Love cannot be taken for granted.What kind of partner do you want, what kind of marriage do you want, what kind of life do you want to live—you have to have a plan for that.
The answer I hear the most is: "I don't have any requirements, just about the same." How can my husband be about the same, you are not just having a one-night stand.Even if you want to find a one-night stand, you have to evaluate his qualifications, right?
I heard a very interesting story about a girl who wanted to fall in love and begged her friend to introduce her.A friend asked her what kind of boyfriend she wanted, and her answer was: "I don't have any requirements, as long as he treats me well."
Sure enough, her friend introduced a boy to her, but not long after, she called and complained: "This man is too thin and his ears are pierced, so he doesn't seem to feel safe." Didn't you say that there is no request, just treat you well?"
In another example, a reader friend complained to me that a colleague introduced her to a boyfriend. She was eager to get out of a failed relationship, so she said: "I don't have any requirements, I just want a boyfriend who treats me well."
A month later, she and her colleague had a stalemate because the colleague introduced her to an unreliable boyfriend. "He is kind to me, but he is also kind to others, he is kind to everyone... He is kind to many people at the same time, seeing one and loving the other, how can I bear it!"
It can be seen that the partner cannot make up for it.People who love everything and people who don't love anything are essentially the same, that is, they haven't figured out what they want.It's better not to fall in love with such a person.
How to shorten the distance between you and his "aura"
Once you have determined what kind of opposite sex you are dating, you should start to dress yourself up and hit his vitals at a glance.You may wish to refer to the following suggestions to narrow the distance with his aura.
1.Smile
"Many studies have shown that smiling more can adjust your mood, it can make you feel safe and relaxed." This is what Nancy Etcoff, a clinical lecturer in psychology at Harvard Medical School, said.A smile is a sign of a person's self-confidence. While gaining the favor of the other party, it suddenly shortens the distance between them.
2.throw away the traditional impression
You have to give the other party an impression that is different from ordinary women.Although appearance is not a prerequisite for two people to come together, it is a door that opens the door for you to attract him.Improve the texture of the skin, change the color of the hair, take off the thick glasses, and becoming a modern girl is still easy to attract the attention of the other party, especially if he is your boss, colleague or friend who gets along with you day and night.
3.stop nagging
Marshall Goldsmith, author of Mojo, says that when people have low self-confidence, they tend to complicate all the simple things. "Should I do this? Should I do that?" Stop nagging, make a decision, and make a big decision yourself that will make you feel more mature and confident.
4.keep learning
It is necessary for you to keep learning and keep asking for progress.Such as foreign languages, cooking skills, and even how to tie a man's tie well.If you've known each other for a long time, you should inadvertently impress him.And if it is a stranger meeting for the first time, he will be deeply impressed by your versatility.
5.smell
You have to choose a suitable perfume for yourself, so that the other party is instantly familiar with your taste.And a greater function of perfume is that they are the spokesperson of your taste and character. You can tell what kind of woman you are by smelling the perfume.
6.walk away from the mirror
Women are less happy if they spend too much time on their looks. The truth of "the mirror, the mirror told me" tells us that a beautiful woman is also a jealous woman.Jealousy will make you unscrupulous, suppressing rivals, controlling men, quarrels and injuries accompany the whole process of love until the final breakup.
7.tall and straight
This is a compulsory course for supermodels of the lingerie brand "Victoria's Secret", no matter how hot their figures are, they still have to be vigilant at all times. "When I work with them, the first thing I tell them is get their abs in, chest out, butt out," says Kacy Duke, author of The Show It Love Workout.It's not easy, it's exhausting to keep upright all the time, but if you want to win with beauty, you have to pay the price.
8.stop being jealous
Leary said: Is it really necessary to be the most attractive, funniest, or richest person?In fact, we rarely need to be a perfect person.What's more, jealousy can make you unhappy.
9.red lips
Men think the sexiest part of a woman is not her breasts, but her lips.Imagine the feeling of kissing him, your red lips will make a man fall for you.marilynMonroe is the most classic example.
10.don't be too ambitious
It is said that the happiest people in the world are the Danes, because they have the right goals and lofty but not unattainable ideals.So, it is good to be ambitious, but being too ambitious will put you under pressure all the time.If falling in love is also an act of fulfilling ambition, then your love will often end in failure.
4.How much "love at first sight" can happen
"The 61-year-old couple fell in love at first sight at the age of 5 and have been in love all their lives."
Are you shocked to see this headline?That's right, there is indeed such an extremely romantic couple in the world who have been in love all their lives.
It is not uncommon for couples to hold hands for most of their lives. It is not uncommon for couples to spend a golden wedding or even a sapphire wedding together. However, couples who have been together for 80 years and have no children under their knees are still as loving as they were when they were young. Have.This is a legendary couple from England, 85-year-old Jim.Hadwin and his wife Moira.They met when they were 5 years old and have been together ever since. In 80 years, deeply in love Jim and Moira have never had a violent argument.
Jim said the two of them were very similar, but had disagreements about issues in life like other couples.However, each time a consensus was reached within an extremely short period of time.
"Because we both know it's stupid to argue over trivial matters."
5-year-old "love at first sight"
In 1929, Jim and Moira, who were only 5 years old, met for the first time at school, fell in love with each other ignorantly, and have not been separated since then.From the young age of 14, they have been in love almost all their lives.According to Jim's recollection, after they started dating officially, Jim was often so excited that he couldn't sleep, "I felt like I had the whole world." Jim said.
The outbreak of World War II disrupted the lives of every European.At that time, Jim, already a naval recruit, was sent to fight in continental Europe.He set out with three photographs of Moira, one in each of the pockets of his uniform, to protect him from German bullets.Jim recalled: "Moira's photos brought me unimaginable good luck. I watched my comrades in arms fall one by one, and I was safe until the end. They really helped me secretly."
In the summer of 1948, Jim and Moira were married.After marriage, Jim became a fireman and Moira became a secretary.After they retired, they moved to live by the sea.Although they are 85 years old, the two still love each other as much as they did when they were young.They are now marriage experts, working against the divorce culture in the UK.
We often see in movies, the hero and heroine fall in love at first sight, go through many barriers and finally come together.Every girl has a dream of Prince Charming, and also wants to meet someone who falls in love at first sight in this life.Some people also asked me: "Does love at first sight last forever, or love that grows stronger over time?"
Why can't it be both?Falling in love with him at first sight, and then strengthening the will to love each other through long-term love, isn't it more perfect for a long time?
However, in the real world, the probability of falling in love at first sight is still not high.Because everyone becomes rational.Some time ago, the US "Time Magazine" published an article "Chinese TV Shows: For Money or For Love?" with an eye-catching headline. "The article pointed directly at the female guests on the very popular domestic dating show.These girls are only in their early twenties, with good looks and superior family background, but they are still not satisfied, and make a declaration of love that "I would rather cry in a BMW than smile on a bicycle".
Love becomes material and guides the concept of love and values of the whole society.I don't know what kind of mentality these girls have when they make a declaration of love. Do they really love and show off their wealth so much?If you want this man to give you a BMW or a Cartier, it's nothing more than showing off his wealth.You think such a boyfriend can bring you vanity and satisfaction as a woman, but in the final analysis, you are not Queen Elizabeth, the richest woman in the world.So, you still have to realize one thing: you don't have the life to be a princess or a queen.
How much "love at first sight" can happen?When I wrote this, I couldn’t help but sigh, whether it’s "love" or "money". Romeo and Juliet’s "love" at first sight has evolved into the current "money" at first sight.
Compared with instant dating shows such as "If You Are the One" and "Let's Date", American dating shows are reality TV shows, just like serial dramas. There are eight episodes from the beginning to the end, and one episode is broadcast every week. If you want to see the finale, you have to watch by the TV for nearly three months.American dating shows are divided into male and female versions, namely "The Bachelor" and "Single Girl".Take "The Bachelor" as an example. The protagonist is a man who wants to go on a blind date with 25 girls, and the female guests will be eliminated one by one.The part that the audience likes to talk about usually starts with the remaining four female guests. Often at this stage, the male protagonist will visit the girls’ hometown and their families.When there are three remaining female guests, the hero and the three girls will have a date experience going out, and the location will be in romantic places such as beaches, islands, and ski resorts, and they will spend one to two days together.And when there are two female guests left, the woman will meet the man's family, and success or failure will be determined in the finale of the last episode.However, compared with the realness of domestic audiences, Americans watch dating shows purely for entertainment, and they don’t care about whether it’s true or not.Therefore, if the remarks of the female guest in "If You Are the One" happened in the United States, I believe it would not cause such a big public reaction as in China.
I once asked an American, what do you think of the marriage and love views of those girls on Chinese dating shows?He said: "Chinese girls are very honest about marriage and love, but they are also superficial." I asked again: "If it were you, would you go on a blind date?" His answer was: "Assuming I am still single, if I am My friend thinks that someone is a good match for me and I might go. But I am married and have a son. If it is a blind date for my son, it is absolutely impossible. He has a girlfriend, and he will not accept it." He It is unbelievable that Chinese people still need a blind date to fall in love, but he also finds it interesting, "This is a way to make friends."
I asked the same question to different Americans, asking them their views on "blind date".
"Do you think there will be love at first sight on a blind date?"
"I believe in love at first sight. I can fall in love with a girl in eight seconds. But I don't know how to go on a blind date. It's not romantic. Besides, it's probably only successful once in a hundred times, and it's not because of love at first sight."
Karen: "I know that in China, girls are in crisis at the age of 28. I have a friend who is 29 years old. She works in Shanghai and is very capable, but her mother will introduce her to boyfriends every year when she returns home during the Chinese New Year. She Every time she complains that she is bored to death, but she will not disobey her mother's wishes. Chinese people value family feelings very much, which I appreciate. But love still depends on your own feelings. Besides, 29 years old is not old at all. !"
Mike: "I think a blind date is like buying a lottery ticket. The odds of winning the lottery may be a little higher. There are only two possibilities for two people to reach the point where they need a blind date. Either others think they are a good match, or they are really desperate. "
Jim: "Blind date? It's too outdated. Anyway, I don't know how to go on a blind date."
Vanessa: "I accept blind dates from friends to friends, but I don't accept blind dates arranged by my parents. Also, I will not participate in reality TV shows, it is fake and no one will take it seriously. If I say I like someone, then It must be because I stayed with him for a long time, and I slowly got the feeling."
Steve: "I'm still very optimistic about love at first sight. It's hard to fall in love at first sight in a blind date, because every day I go on blind dates one by one, and I feel aesthetic fatigue... Unless she is so beautiful that really surprises me. That's not my turn, haha! "
I asked a Chinese person and an American person respectively about the question "Is love at first sight lasts forever, or love developed over time is stronger?" I was once asked by others.
C (Chinese): Love at first sight or long-term love is not the key. The most important thing is that two people trust each other, respect, understand and support each other, and this kind of relationship will last forever.Falling in love is no longer as simple as right and wrong, coveting momentary happiness, or only thinking about your own feelings, will never have a good ending.
A (American): I fantasize about love at first sight, but any love that can really stand the test is a feeling that develops over time.Therefore, believe in love at first sight and pursue long-term love!
Think of two five-year-old children who fell in love at first sight, fell in love, got married, and went through 80 years of wind and rain.I like this sentence, "Believe in love at first sight, pursue long-term love", love at first sight is feeling, and long-term love is getting along.In love, we are all pursuing feelings, and once the feelings pass, troubles will follow. How to find the lost feelings and how to maintain a beautiful love has become the focus of love.
The charm of childhood is not because it is beautiful, but because childhood is the cradle of our sense of life.Therefore, people who are used to happiness in childhood will repeat happiness in the future; people who are used to melancholy in childhood will continue to repeat depression in childhood;Consciously, we are all pursuing happiness and happiness, and we must have a corresponding philosophy of life; but subconsciously, we are all pursuing emotions or emotions that we are accustomed to, which is a fatal temptation.
We all firmly believe that life is complete only when there is love.And pure love is the most perfect and touching emotion.When Lin Daiyu entered Jia's mansion, Jia Baoyu fell in love with Lin Daiyu at first sight; when Romeo and Juliet met, their love at first sight wrote a life-and-death love... Would you believe that these legends are just illusory and infinitely exaggerated the sanctity of love?If you like listening to beautiful stories and dreaming beautiful dreams, you should believe in love at first sight.If you scoff at these love legends, you should strive for a long-term relationship with the man of your choice, even if you don't have love at first sight.
With psychological test
love test
1.Love aura test: the type of opposite sex that suits you
You opened your personal box that you haven't touched in a long time, and what surprised you to find?
A．bouquet of roses
B．love letter
C．shoe
D．underwear
A．bouquet of roses
Being praised as beautiful or handsome by those around you is fine for you, but being called a handsome guy or a diamond bum can also give you the hurt of parting.Even so, as long as it feels like true love, it can break through any adversity.Cultivating common interests with a beautiful partner is a great way to maintain a relationship.
B．love letter
You are compatible with someone who is down to earth and has a strong sense of justice.Sometimes you don't find it interesting to date someone who is career-focused and well-mannered, and you feel bored and dull as a result.But if there is more communication and finding common concerns, the fruits of love will be cultivated.
C．shoe
You are a perfect match for the cute and bright type.A lover who is good at acting like a baby and who thinks of you wholeheartedly is the most suitable for you.Watching concerts, dramas, movies with expressive lovers who love to talk and laugh, or looking for snack bars hidden in the dark will enhance mutual goodwill and trust.
D．underwear
You are compatible with very pure, down-to-earth people.A lover who is constantly promoted in the workplace and loyal to his family is your ideal partner, and staying with him for a long time will enhance your mutual relationship.
2.There is such a common vocabulary in Western sociology of religion: charisma.It comes from early Christianity, which means "divine gift", refers to those superhuman beings who are helped by God, and is extended to be a leader with extraordinary charisma and ability.This kind of cohesion that leaders build organizations comes from the extraordinary charisma and outstanding ability of individuals.Later, it was free translated as "charisma" or "charisma", referring to special qualities such as special charm or superhuman talent, which can unconsciously attract the attention and admiration of the public.Psychologists believe that the aura response between men and women can be explained as the "charisma effect".We might as well do a psychological test to see what type of opposite sex attracts you.
Let’s say you’re about to go out and it suddenly occurs to you that there’s one item that you’ve worn out for too long and needs to be replaced. It will be:
A．leather shoes
B．wallet
C．Journal
D．handbag
Do you choose A, B, C or D, each of them corresponds to the image of your favorite lover, and alludes to what kind of "charisma" effect you are affected by.
A．leather shoes
Although there is a saying that "handsomeness begins with the feet", leather shoes are very suggestive items psychologically.If you choose leather shoes, you are the type who pays attention to your sexy charm. If someone compliments your sexiness and fashion, you may use this as an opportunity to fall in love.
B．wallet
The wallet is an intellectual image representing a shrewd mind.You are the methodical type who rarely makes mistakes, and people who care about and evaluate your work can bring you a sense of intimacy.Therefore, the love rate with company colleagues or bosses will be high.
C．Journal
A diary symbolizes relationships.You want to expand your interpersonal relationship and experience a rich emotional life, so people who are superior to you will make you have a strong curiosity, and being able to quietly listen to the other person's talk will also improve your love luck.Actively participating in various gatherings can meet fateful love encounters.
D．handbag
The handbag is a symbol of financial power and filling dreams.You intend to live a free life without social constraints through economic ability, so when you meet someone who is fighting for your career or ambition, you will have a good impression. If that person can give you good help to realize your dream, he will more attractive to you.
3.the degree to which you will fall in love at first sight
There is a pill that looks like sugar and powder on the table, what do you think it tastes like?
A．spicy
B．sweetness
C．bitterness
D．sour
A．spicy
You feel a little unfamiliar with the person you fell in love with at first sight.Because you are a person who recognizes life, you will warm up your feelings with each other gradually as you get along with each other. Even if you like each other in your heart, you will try not to show it.But when you know that the other person also likes you at a certain moment, you will actively show your charm.You are the gradual type.
B．sweetness
Chances are good that you will fall in love at first sight.You will give your all to love each other after falling in love at first sight, just like in the movie.Love at first sight is just attracted by the other person's appearance. When you meet someone you fall in love with at first sight, don't pursue desperately. Instead, you need to take a step back and approach the other person with reason, so that you will get a good love result.
C．bitterness
You are a suspicious coward type. Even if the other party leaves you with a good impression, you will not let go of love, but choose to keep it.Due to your cautious character, you may miss some marriages, but you will decide your mind after many contacts.You will also decide whether to observe and approach each other in detail based on first impressions.
D．sour
You are the type who will be conquered by a certain point of the other party.Or the smile is beautiful, or the clothes are beautiful, or the voice is nice...you will be attracted by a certain personality of the other person and fall in love.Your weakness is that once you don't feel a certain charm of the other party, you will feel very bored.
(End of this chapter)
In the aura of love, a man recognizes and ponders a woman, and a woman understands a man and herself. "Women are made of water".A smart woman is not only "water", but also "living water".Water is the source of life, no matter how much men look down on women, they need their emotions.Therefore, smart women use their aura to attract the first attention of men, and they are always able to handle the steps of love with ease, being the "living water" that men cannot do without.
1."Aura Rules" You Don't Know
Chen Baocai, the "godfather" of love, said: "A couple should have a common aura besides a husband and wife. The aura is firstly manifested in the two people having a common temper and temper, or a habit."
Whether the love is successful or not, whether two strange men and women who meet for the first time can collide with the spark of love at the first sight, this is not a "love at first sight" born of marriage, which can be concluded.
Recently, a dating show "If You Are the One" in mainland China is very popular. I watched a few episodes. It is very strange that two men and women who don't know each other go from acquaintance to attraction, and then hold hands and fall in love in just ten minutes. too realistic.Love is beautiful and romantic, but at the same time, love is also a mirror that reflects reality. Lovers who come together through a blind date also follow an "aura rule": the attraction of each other's appearance and conversation first forms an external aura The atmosphere, and then the inner aura, that is, each other's understanding and perception of love, is revealed through tacit communication and looking at each other, and a confirmation and consensus is reached, "Yes, he/she is the other half I am looking for".
We often talk about the realm of a woman, first look at her appearance, describe it with beauty, then the temperament exuded from the inside out, whether it is intellectual or emotional, and then her character... For a while, everyone was popular Fight temperament, Taiwanese women, Hong Kong women, mainland women, see who is foreign.This kind of temperament is not through the external dress, but a look, a movement, or even just the perfume used to distinguish the temperament and taste.However, what I want to remind is that if you are still a little girl who doesn't understand anything, don't learn from those women who think they are very sexy and elegant.Very fake.Men don't want such women. At best, they look back a few times and compliment them with a smile, but they will never take them home.
The cultivation of temperament is just a narcissistic behavior of a person. A man does not need a woman who is lonely and self-admiring. What he wants is a woman who can interact with him on an equal footing.A woman is not an ornament, she also has something that needs to be used practically, and at this time, the aura comes into play.
A man is handsome, and he deals with various occasions such as banquets. He may refuse the dance request of a rich daughter and choose to invite an ordinary girl for a drink. Why?
Are you still fantasizing about the princess dream of Cinderella flying on a branch and turning into a phoenix?But the truth is, he's tired of dancing nights with one rich girl after another, and he wants a change.You can't extravagantly hope that a nobleman who deals in social situations will favor an ordinary you, because your aura is wrong.You don't need to look up to him either, because you live in reality, not in a movie.What you have to do is take off his mask when he walks towards you with a smile and bows his head to chess with you.You have to be clear, is this a playboy playing in the flowers, or a "Zorro" wearing a mask.If it's the first type, you don't have to play tricks with him. If it's the second type, it depends on whether he is worth your cooperation.What you long for is not just a short encounter in the play.
Aura makes marriage
Just as a beautiful woman can marry an ugly husband, a smart man can marry a stupid wife.People are often puzzled, "My God, this man is old and ugly, so such a young beauty married him?" It's unbelievable.Then, what outsiders often guess is that this man is very rich, and the girl is very money-worshiping, so they will definitely not end well together.But ten years later, the man is still the same as ten years ago, old and ugly, and the woman is gradually no longer beautiful. People who see this couple are not surprised, and those who asserted that they will divorce also send blessings His words: "Oh, it's really not easy for the two of them to be together for ten years. I hope they can grow old forever."
Have you ever wondered where the union of these two men came from?Husband and wife?impossible.money?Why not divorce.I interviewed the wife: "What did you like about your husband before you decided to marry him?"
"Aura." She said, "My husband is a businessman, and he suffered a lot in his early years. His first wife was a shrewd woman who knew how to do business. At that time, my husband valued this. Cooperate very well to do business together to make money. He and his ex-wife divorced because of money. He thinks that the reason why people make a lot of money is to create a good living environment. When the living environment is too good, they should stop and enjoy life .Unfortunately, his ex-wife didn’t see it this way. He felt that the two people’s ideas deviated, and their life philosophy gradually became different, so he had to divorce. He had been longing to find a woman who could spend his life together until he met me. I am A woman who is content with life and has no ambitions. When she was in her twenties, she also had a few unsuccessful relationships. Most of them were men with good looks or very ambitious. After breaking up, I realized that what I needed was someone who could hold A man who walks slowly while holding my hand, not a man who concentrates on his career or sets his sights on one beautiful woman after another. What I need is a sense of security, and my husband just satisfies this for me. We I have been married for ten years, and there have been conflicts, quarrels and even wanting to divorce, but I persisted in the end. I asked myself several times, how could I live with him for ten years? People often say that beautiful women have ambitions, It's the man's money that counts, not the man. But I told my husband, this kind of woman may exist, but it won't be me. The most important reason we are together is to understand each other and tolerate each other. We are like cogs , the gaps of each other coincide exactly, and connect together.”
"No one thinks you two are not compatible?"
"Yes. When I decided to marry him at the beginning, my parents and friends were against it, thinking that no matter how nice or rich he was, he was not good enough for me. But I married this person, who knew what I needed the most. What, he can give me, that's enough. After marrying him, at the beginning he took me to public places, many of his friends publicly expressed their envy to him, saying that he married a beautiful wife like a lover, and even Few people pointed at me behind my back, saying that I was trying to get his money, which made me very embarrassed. Later, I didn’t go to any occasions he wanted to attend, and I was at home with my husband and children, enjoying family life. Until one day, he For my birthday, I invited my relatives and friends to my home, and when everyone saw me with him, they joked that the two of us got along very well, and the more we looked at it, the more we looked like that. Heh, this is the so-called aura."
The aura also has its established rules.The Chinese are very particular about the "Tao", and the Tao is different, so they don't conspire with each other.Couples and husbands and wives should also follow the "Tao" of an aura in order to achieve a century-old marriage.For example, the political family of Clinton and Hillary, the golden couple of Beckham and Victoria, and the scholarly marriage of Qian Zhongshu and Yang Jiang in China, and the media partners of Yang Lan and Wu Zheng.The big environment is the first, and the mutual support between two people is the second.
No man is so stupid as to marry a vase home. The premise of marrying is that the vase is a famous vase.Because a beautiful famous woman can improve a man's wealth and status.In the same way, no woman is ignorant enough to marry a big bastard who is only packaged with money. At least he must be a master of sentimentality in order to win back the beauty's heart.If you don't have the ambition of "marrying into a wealthy family" or "flying on a branch to become a phoenix", then lower the level of love and find someone who is like-minded and compatible.
How to Tune You into an Aura Master
I often receive questions like this: "Why is love different from what I imagined at the beginning?" "Why did he change after we got together, making it unbearable for me?"
Love is mostly emotional. When the passion and enthusiasm are overwhelmed, suddenly facing everyone in the real world, there will be cognitive incongruity or anxiety.If you start to question love as above, it means that you have stepped out of the emotional stage of love and started to think rationally about the relationship between two people.
I appreciate the line: "You have to be thankful for every failed relationship and lover who hurt you and you hurt, because they are all developing your various strengths to find the next better man."
Indeed, this is the words of a master in love.Readers may ask: What does this sentence have to do with the aura of love?What I want to warn is girls who are in the early stage of love and don’t know what “aura is”. You will be overly excited by a man’s one or two sweet words, and you will miss a lot of his unreliable promises. Marriage - the man you are looking for is not as good as you imagined, you blame yourself for your poor vision, but you don't know, this is because you are not sure about your love aura.
Back to the previous topic.Suppose you meet a love master at a party, and he gives you the impression of a caring, humorous, charming and popular heartthrob, and your heart will quickly fall for him.There are many competitors with better conditions than you. They took the initiative to throw olive branches to the aura man, but he finally chose you.Often you don't notice at this time that he didn't choose you at the first sight, but made a decision after hesitating and wandering among the women, stretching out his hand and asking you to dance with him.Your heart is in turmoil, and then you fall completely.
You accept the jealous and envious eyes of other beauties, and feel that you are the focus of attention.Cupid's arrows shoot at you, making you intoxicated. Ok, if you think this is just a midnight encounter for fun, then naturally there will be no troubles later, but you certainly are not.You think he must have fallen in love with you at first sight, and you match his aura.
There is still a certain difference between the aura and the love field.Your emotional intelligence is not high, you are likely to be a beginner with no love experience, and this man is your first love.Well, unfortunately, tragedy began.
He's behind your back, dating a second woman, then a third, a fourth, even your best friend.You bear it again and again, and in the end, you can't retreat, and you muster up the courage to question your boyfriend.He said: "Honey, I am a man with a very strong appetite. I chose you because I have never tasted your type. Are you satisfied?"
If I were you, I would definitely slap this man twice on the spot, and then apply that very classic sentence: "I would like to thank you for not taking it seriously, compared to your early adopters, you are just a very common practice for me. I have never had the patience to deal with men for more than a week, so I will try to put down my body and test myself, and you are just a good practice product, now you can get out."
It's not that you don't have vision, but that you don't have a good grasp of the aura of love.This man is really good enough to confuse your eyes, but he is not your type.
In fact, the so-called party queen and aura queen are not necessarily the winners in love. Love does not need to be exposed to the spotlight and let others judge.Harvesting long-term love is the true meaning of happiness.
Therefore, girls who are single or who have been broken-up in love are looking for a partner in the vast crowd. They must follow the aura rules of "fast, ruthless, and accurate", without hesitation, shrinking, or discouragement.Of course, don't be afraid of failure.Remember, a life in love is a wonderful life, but at the same time, a life in love is also a life of wind and rain.
2.How much do you understand men
Men always like to tease, they often use their crooked talents in places that make you laugh and cry, they will say this: "If you are not cold, you can't know pines and cypresses; things are not difficult, but you can't know women.
"A man knows what a woman wants.
"Men are confused. (meaning that women are smart)
"The night gave women a pair of black eyes, and women are destined to conquer men with them.
"I came, I watched, I was overwhelmed by Cleopatra.
"A woman who doesn't want to conquer a man is not a good woman.
"A woman who can think is really a person with boundless power.
"Believe in women first, and then others will believe in you.
"I don't like being conquered, but I will defend to the death a woman's right to conquer a man."
Look at the above "classic" remarks, all from the mouth of a man, adapted from the meaning of a man, as a woman, you and I are ashamed to read it-it is always a man who understands women!
This world is made up of men and women, without men there can be no women, without women there can be no men.God created Adam, and Adam disassembled his rib to create Eve, so there is a saying that "a woman is a man's rib".So, as a man's rib, how much do you, a woman, understand about men?
In the aura of love, you need to highly identify professional "aura" men and understand why they are popular.They tend to have the following ten qualities:
1.confidence
A man needs self-confidence, and a man with a strong aura needs a strong backing of self-confidence.The charming temperament of a confident man is enough to break the heart of every woman.
2.temperament
It cannot be denied that temperament is the easiest label to identify an aura man. He may not be handsome, but he must have enough temperament to capture people's hearts.It is often the temperament of this man that a woman first takes a fancy to.
3.control
In the animal world, male animals are basically in an absolute leadership position and have absolute control. One of the important feelings given by the aura is control.Men are born to be the overlords galloping on the battlefield, and women are stunners conquered by men.In her bones, a woman hopes that a man will have the dominance over her and the things around her, and longs to be led.So a man with control is inherently lethal to a woman.
4.concentrate on
A focused man is often able to concentrate his time, energy and wisdom on what he wants to do, so as to maximize his enthusiasm, initiative and creativity.What kind of man is the easiest to conquer women?serious man.
5.demeanor
Demeanor refers to people's speech, manners, and manners. The beautiful charm revealed by demeanor is the natural expression of a person's inner strength.Demeanor cannot be imitated, it is often a person's unique personalized sign.Demeanor is attractive because of strength, strength is the reason, charm is the result, and cause and effect cannot be reversed.
6.profound
The lethality of a man with deep eyes is often fatal, such as Tom.Cruise, for example Jude Law, for example Tony Leung, for example Takeshi Kaneshiro.I'm very interested in this kind of profound men, they have a strong aura, really strong.
7.dashing
Chic is a realm.Don't always think that being unrestrained is just a detached demeanor and demeanor. In fact, being unrestrained is a natural state and a sincere attitude towards life.Born in the world, with an open-minded state of mind, detached from vulgarity and not burdened by worldly affairs, the unrestrained realm comes from rational open-mindedness and enthusiasm for life.Even if a man looks mediocre, as long as he has this chicness, he will appear not inferior and sharp.And if a man with good looks can also achieve a chic mood, then it will be the icing on the cake.
8.adventure
Women are attracted to men who like to do extreme risky, unusual things.Because these things are exciting, there is no denying that being adventurous makes a man sexier.
9.Mature
A man is no longer a boy because he matures.Boys' world is very simple, but men are different.With his own character, strength and reputation, he can walk in the crowd calmly, and mature men show extraordinary charm.
10.callous
Women don't like men who stalk them, this is a kind of psychological inertia.So ruthless men are popular, they are so different among suitors, and they are easy to attract women's attention.In fact, such men are generally more scheming, quietly fascinated by women.
When you recognize the aura man, the next step is how to take the first step in love.Don't think that knowing a man is safe, on the basis of knowing his inner condition, you have to further observe his external conditions.
understand the nature of his work
You must have a very clear understanding of the nature of his work.For example, you have a general idea of what he does, where he works, and even his interpersonal relationships.If you want to fall in love with him, you must pay attention to practical issues, and learn more about his tolerance and maturity through the nature and ability of his work.
observe his behavior
In addition to the nature of work, you have to carefully observe his speech and behavior.The details are the key to success or failure. Whether this man is the same as the outside, see the problem through the details.Being in love is a beautiful feeling, and it’s also real life. You can’t just talk about Plato with movie stars on the screen, so it’s better to be pragmatic.
care about his living environment
A man's self-cultivation and endurance can be seen from his daily routine.One of the most important things in aura science is to find a man with the same interests as you, then you have to pay special attention to his living habits and environment.A man who spends his whole day researching stocks may be a master at making money, but he has no sense of fun.A man who only knows drinking as a hobby is unlikely to be a big deal, and will have a tendency to violence-your love is not happy, it all depends on you seeing the right man from your living environment.
Man is steel, woman is water.Know yourself and know your enemy. The aura of love is not supported by one person. Men conquer women because men like to think about women.As for women, they are emotional animals. In the way of getting along in love, women understand men, but women need to understand themselves more.
Love is often blind, and when a woman gets hurt, she usually blames the man for her fault, failing to see the true face of the man.What about the woman herself?Does the failure of love have its own "contribution"?
When two people are together, they also need to leave each other private space.You think you protect the other party very well, but it often backfires. People may not buy your account, especially men. Instead, he feels that you have too much control, which makes him feel pressured.What a man needs is a partner who is in tune with him and knows what he thinks and wants, instead of becoming a "strict wife".
Therefore, in the aura of love, men recognize and ponder women, and women understand men and themselves.There is a saying: Women are made of water.A smart woman is not only "water", but also "living water".The popular saying is that women should know how to be flexible and deal with different types of men.Most men, especially famous men, actually look down on women in their bones, and even regard women as playthings.Plato said that the talents of men and women are the same, and what men pursue is also what women pursue, but in general, women are inferior to men.And Nietzsche, who has extraordinary feelings for women, also believes that once a woman gets rid of the habit of "fear of men" and hopes to be free, she will lose her "most feminine instinct".His very classic quote - to find a woman?Don't forget to bring your whip!This often contributes to the arrogance of men.But don't forget, men are always inseparable from women.Water is the source of life, no matter how much a man looks down on a woman, he still needs her, and even more needs her emotion.Therefore, a smart woman uses her aura to attract a man's first attention, and is always able to handle the steps of love with ease, being the "living water" that a man cannot do without.A man can't do without you, he knows that once he lets go, he will have to relax for a while--a good woman is rare, and a woman with an aura in love is even rarer.
3.Reduce the distance of each other's "aura"
Different people's personalities and goals determine the direction of love. This is definitely a very accurate law of love.Men and women who are eager to fall in love use psychological tests, horoscope and numerology and other "destined" remarks to lock in love goals, which actually reflects an attitude of aura studies.
What kind of "aura" boyfriend do you want to find?
Know your level first
You pick on others, and others pick on you. "Handsome, rich, humorous, considerate..." When you report a series of nouns, others are also restricting you with "beautiful, gentle, good family background, well-educated" and other conditions.So you should know your own level, which is decisive for what conditions you offer.
Jenny is a very pretty girl, but very silly.Once she asked me: "If I post my picture on the Internet, do you think it will attract a lot of suitors?"
The benevolent see benevolence, the wise see wisdom.I can't guarantee that every man will say that this girl is beautiful after looking at her picture, even if I guarantee that everyone will think she is beautiful, but what about her personality?What about family background?None of this is known.A man pursues a beautiful girl just because she is beautiful. When he really falls in love, he may feel inappropriate, and a beautiful girl will regret it: Oh, God, I shouldn't have made such a stupid decision...
Later, Jenny really put her photo on a dating website, and ten men rated her beauty, with the highest score being 90 and the lowest score being 75.Jenny was very depressed, and she complained to me: "I thought I could get full marks, so I asked a man, why didn't you give me full marks? Who knew that the man answered me, it was because you said that that I couldn't get it." Full marks. You are too proud. There are many beauties in the world, but in my mind, the most beautiful women are those who are modest.” It can be seen that women can’t just rely on appearance to attract men’s attention.
Secondly, you have to make it clear that your partner cannot make up
Love cannot be taken for granted.What kind of partner do you want, what kind of marriage do you want, what kind of life do you want to live—you have to have a plan for that.
The answer I hear the most is: "I don't have any requirements, just about the same." How can my husband be about the same, you are not just having a one-night stand.Even if you want to find a one-night stand, you have to evaluate his qualifications, right?
I heard a very interesting story about a girl who wanted to fall in love and begged her friend to introduce her.A friend asked her what kind of boyfriend she wanted, and her answer was: "I don't have any requirements, as long as he treats me well."
Sure enough, her friend introduced a boy to her, but not long after, she called and complained: "This man is too thin and his ears are pierced, so he doesn't seem to feel safe." Didn't you say that there is no request, just treat you well?"
In another example, a reader friend complained to me that a colleague introduced her to a boyfriend. She was eager to get out of a failed relationship, so she said: "I don't have any requirements, I just want a boyfriend who treats me well."
A month later, she and her colleague had a stalemate because the colleague introduced her to an unreliable boyfriend. "He is kind to me, but he is also kind to others, he is kind to everyone... He is kind to many people at the same time, seeing one and loving the other, how can I bear it!"
It can be seen that the partner cannot make up for it.People who love everything and people who don't love anything are essentially the same, that is, they haven't figured out what they want.It's better not to fall in love with such a person.
How to shorten the distance between you and his "aura"
Once you have determined what kind of opposite sex you are dating, you should start to dress yourself up and hit his vitals at a glance.You may wish to refer to the following suggestions to narrow the distance with his aura.
1.Smile
"Many studies have shown that smiling more can adjust your mood, it can make you feel safe and relaxed." This is what Nancy Etcoff, a clinical lecturer in psychology at Harvard Medical School, said.A smile is a sign of a person's self-confidence. While gaining the favor of the other party, it suddenly shortens the distance between them.
2.throw away the traditional impression
You have to give the other party an impression that is different from ordinary women.Although appearance is not a prerequisite for two people to come together, it is a door that opens the door for you to attract him.Improve the texture of the skin, change the color of the hair, take off the thick glasses, and becoming a modern girl is still easy to attract the attention of the other party, especially if he is your boss, colleague or friend who gets along with you day and night.
3.stop nagging
Marshall Goldsmith, author of Mojo, says that when people have low self-confidence, they tend to complicate all the simple things. "Should I do this? Should I do that?" Stop nagging, make a decision, and make a big decision yourself that will make you feel more mature and confident.
4.keep learning
It is necessary for you to keep learning and keep asking for progress.Such as foreign languages, cooking skills, and even how to tie a man's tie well.If you've known each other for a long time, you should inadvertently impress him.And if it is a stranger meeting for the first time, he will be deeply impressed by your versatility.
5.smell
You have to choose a suitable perfume for yourself, so that the other party is instantly familiar with your taste.And a greater function of perfume is that they are the spokesperson of your taste and character. You can tell what kind of woman you are by smelling the perfume.
6.walk away from the mirror
Women are less happy if they spend too much time on their looks. The truth of "the mirror, the mirror told me" tells us that a beautiful woman is also a jealous woman.Jealousy will make you unscrupulous, suppressing rivals, controlling men, quarrels and injuries accompany the whole process of love until the final breakup.
7.tall and straight
This is a compulsory course for supermodels of the lingerie brand "Victoria's Secret", no matter how hot their figures are, they still have to be vigilant at all times. "When I work with them, the first thing I tell them is get their abs in, chest out, butt out," says Kacy Duke, author of The Show It Love Workout.It's not easy, it's exhausting to keep upright all the time, but if you want to win with beauty, you have to pay the price.
8.stop being jealous
Leary said: Is it really necessary to be the most attractive, funniest, or richest person?In fact, we rarely need to be a perfect person.What's more, jealousy can make you unhappy.
9.red lips
Men think the sexiest part of a woman is not her breasts, but her lips.Imagine the feeling of kissing him, your red lips will make a man fall for you.marilynMonroe is the most classic example.
10.don't be too ambitious
It is said that the happiest people in the world are the Danes, because they have the right goals and lofty but not unattainable ideals.So, it is good to be ambitious, but being too ambitious will put you under pressure all the time.If falling in love is also an act of fulfilling ambition, then your love will often end in failure.
4.How much "love at first sight" can happen
"The 61-year-old couple fell in love at first sight at the age of 5 and have been in love all their lives."
Are you shocked to see this headline?That's right, there is indeed such an extremely romantic couple in the world who have been in love all their lives.
It is not uncommon for couples to hold hands for most of their lives. It is not uncommon for couples to spend a golden wedding or even a sapphire wedding together. However, couples who have been together for 80 years and have no children under their knees are still as loving as they were when they were young. Have.This is a legendary couple from England, 85-year-old Jim.Hadwin and his wife Moira.They met when they were 5 years old and have been together ever since. In 80 years, deeply in love Jim and Moira have never had a violent argument.
Jim said the two of them were very similar, but had disagreements about issues in life like other couples.However, each time a consensus was reached within an extremely short period of time.
"Because we both know it's stupid to argue over trivial matters."
5-year-old "love at first sight"
In 1929, Jim and Moira, who were only 5 years old, met for the first time at school, fell in love with each other ignorantly, and have not been separated since then.From the young age of 14, they have been in love almost all their lives.According to Jim's recollection, after they started dating officially, Jim was often so excited that he couldn't sleep, "I felt like I had the whole world." Jim said.
The outbreak of World War II disrupted the lives of every European.At that time, Jim, already a naval recruit, was sent to fight in continental Europe.He set out with three photographs of Moira, one in each of the pockets of his uniform, to protect him from German bullets.Jim recalled: "Moira's photos brought me unimaginable good luck. I watched my comrades in arms fall one by one, and I was safe until the end. They really helped me secretly."
In the summer of 1948, Jim and Moira were married.After marriage, Jim became a fireman and Moira became a secretary.After they retired, they moved to live by the sea.Although they are 85 years old, the two still love each other as much as they did when they were young.They are now marriage experts, working against the divorce culture in the UK.
We often see in movies, the hero and heroine fall in love at first sight, go through many barriers and finally come together.Every girl has a dream of Prince Charming, and also wants to meet someone who falls in love at first sight in this life.Some people also asked me: "Does love at first sight last forever, or love that grows stronger over time?"
Why can't it be both?Falling in love with him at first sight, and then strengthening the will to love each other through long-term love, isn't it more perfect for a long time?
However, in the real world, the probability of falling in love at first sight is still not high.Because everyone becomes rational.Some time ago, the US "Time Magazine" published an article "Chinese TV Shows: For Money or For Love?" with an eye-catching headline. "The article pointed directly at the female guests on the very popular domestic dating show.These girls are only in their early twenties, with good looks and superior family background, but they are still not satisfied, and make a declaration of love that "I would rather cry in a BMW than smile on a bicycle".
Love becomes material and guides the concept of love and values of the whole society.I don't know what kind of mentality these girls have when they make a declaration of love. Do they really love and show off their wealth so much?If you want this man to give you a BMW or a Cartier, it's nothing more than showing off his wealth.You think such a boyfriend can bring you vanity and satisfaction as a woman, but in the final analysis, you are not Queen Elizabeth, the richest woman in the world.So, you still have to realize one thing: you don't have the life to be a princess or a queen.
How much "love at first sight" can happen?When I wrote this, I couldn’t help but sigh, whether it’s "love" or "money". Romeo and Juliet’s "love" at first sight has evolved into the current "money" at first sight.
Compared with instant dating shows such as "If You Are the One" and "Let's Date", American dating shows are reality TV shows, just like serial dramas. There are eight episodes from the beginning to the end, and one episode is broadcast every week. If you want to see the finale, you have to watch by the TV for nearly three months.American dating shows are divided into male and female versions, namely "The Bachelor" and "Single Girl".Take "The Bachelor" as an example. The protagonist is a man who wants to go on a blind date with 25 girls, and the female guests will be eliminated one by one.The part that the audience likes to talk about usually starts with the remaining four female guests. Often at this stage, the male protagonist will visit the girls’ hometown and their families.When there are three remaining female guests, the hero and the three girls will have a date experience going out, and the location will be in romantic places such as beaches, islands, and ski resorts, and they will spend one to two days together.And when there are two female guests left, the woman will meet the man's family, and success or failure will be determined in the finale of the last episode.However, compared with the realness of domestic audiences, Americans watch dating shows purely for entertainment, and they don’t care about whether it’s true or not.Therefore, if the remarks of the female guest in "If You Are the One" happened in the United States, I believe it would not cause such a big public reaction as in China.
I once asked an American, what do you think of the marriage and love views of those girls on Chinese dating shows?He said: "Chinese girls are very honest about marriage and love, but they are also superficial." I asked again: "If it were you, would you go on a blind date?" His answer was: "Assuming I am still single, if I am My friend thinks that someone is a good match for me and I might go. But I am married and have a son. If it is a blind date for my son, it is absolutely impossible. He has a girlfriend, and he will not accept it." He It is unbelievable that Chinese people still need a blind date to fall in love, but he also finds it interesting, "This is a way to make friends."
I asked the same question to different Americans, asking them their views on "blind date".
"Do you think there will be love at first sight on a blind date?"
"I believe in love at first sight. I can fall in love with a girl in eight seconds. But I don't know how to go on a blind date. It's not romantic. Besides, it's probably only successful once in a hundred times, and it's not because of love at first sight."
Karen: "I know that in China, girls are in crisis at the age of 28. I have a friend who is 29 years old. She works in Shanghai and is very capable, but her mother will introduce her to boyfriends every year when she returns home during the Chinese New Year. She Every time she complains that she is bored to death, but she will not disobey her mother's wishes. Chinese people value family feelings very much, which I appreciate. But love still depends on your own feelings. Besides, 29 years old is not old at all. !"
Mike: "I think a blind date is like buying a lottery ticket. The odds of winning the lottery may be a little higher. There are only two possibilities for two people to reach the point where they need a blind date. Either others think they are a good match, or they are really desperate. "
Jim: "Blind date? It's too outdated. Anyway, I don't know how to go on a blind date."
Vanessa: "I accept blind dates from friends to friends, but I don't accept blind dates arranged by my parents. Also, I will not participate in reality TV shows, it is fake and no one will take it seriously. If I say I like someone, then It must be because I stayed with him for a long time, and I slowly got the feeling."
Steve: "I'm still very optimistic about love at first sight. It's hard to fall in love at first sight in a blind date, because every day I go on blind dates one by one, and I feel aesthetic fatigue... Unless she is so beautiful that really surprises me. That's not my turn, haha! "
I asked a Chinese person and an American person respectively about the question "Is love at first sight lasts forever, or love developed over time is stronger?" I was once asked by others.
C (Chinese): Love at first sight or long-term love is not the key. The most important thing is that two people trust each other, respect, understand and support each other, and this kind of relationship will last forever.Falling in love is no longer as simple as right and wrong, coveting momentary happiness, or only thinking about your own feelings, will never have a good ending.
A (American): I fantasize about love at first sight, but any love that can really stand the test is a feeling that develops over time.Therefore, believe in love at first sight and pursue long-term love!
Think of two five-year-old children who fell in love at first sight, fell in love, got married, and went through 80 years of wind and rain.I like this sentence, "Believe in love at first sight, pursue long-term love", love at first sight is feeling, and long-term love is getting along.In love, we are all pursuing feelings, and once the feelings pass, troubles will follow. How to find the lost feelings and how to maintain a beautiful love has become the focus of love.
The charm of childhood is not because it is beautiful, but because childhood is the cradle of our sense of life.Therefore, people who are used to happiness in childhood will repeat happiness in the future; people who are used to melancholy in childhood will continue to repeat depression in childhood;Consciously, we are all pursuing happiness and happiness, and we must have a corresponding philosophy of life; but subconsciously, we are all pursuing emotions or emotions that we are accustomed to, which is a fatal temptation.
We all firmly believe that life is complete only when there is love.And pure love is the most perfect and touching emotion.When Lin Daiyu entered Jia's mansion, Jia Baoyu fell in love with Lin Daiyu at first sight; when Romeo and Juliet met, their love at first sight wrote a life-and-death love... Would you believe that these legends are just illusory and infinitely exaggerated the sanctity of love?If you like listening to beautiful stories and dreaming beautiful dreams, you should believe in love at first sight.If you scoff at these love legends, you should strive for a long-term relationship with the man of your choice, even if you don't have love at first sight.
With psychological test
love test
1.Love aura test: the type of opposite sex that suits you
You opened your personal box that you haven't touched in a long time, and what surprised you to find?
A．bouquet of roses
B．love letter
C．shoe
D．underwear
A．bouquet of roses
Being praised as beautiful or handsome by those around you is fine for you, but being called a handsome guy or a diamond bum can also give you the hurt of parting.Even so, as long as it feels like true love, it can break through any adversity.Cultivating common interests with a beautiful partner is a great way to maintain a relationship.
B．love letter
You are compatible with someone who is down to earth and has a strong sense of justice.Sometimes you don't find it interesting to date someone who is career-focused and well-mannered, and you feel bored and dull as a result.But if there is more communication and finding common concerns, the fruits of love will be cultivated.
C．shoe
You are a perfect match for the cute and bright type.A lover who is good at acting like a baby and who thinks of you wholeheartedly is the most suitable for you.Watching concerts, dramas, movies with expressive lovers who love to talk and laugh, or looking for snack bars hidden in the dark will enhance mutual goodwill and trust.
D．underwear
You are compatible with very pure, down-to-earth people.A lover who is constantly promoted in the workplace and loyal to his family is your ideal partner, and staying with him for a long time will enhance your mutual relationship.
2.There is such a common vocabulary in Western sociology of religion: charisma.It comes from early Christianity, which means "divine gift", refers to those superhuman beings who are helped by God, and is extended to be a leader with extraordinary charisma and ability.This kind of cohesion that leaders build organizations comes from the extraordinary charisma and outstanding ability of individuals.Later, it was free translated as "charisma" or "charisma", referring to special qualities such as special charm or superhuman talent, which can unconsciously attract the attention and admiration of the public.Psychologists believe that the aura response between men and women can be explained as the "charisma effect".We might as well do a psychological test to see what type of opposite sex attracts you.
Let’s say you’re about to go out and it suddenly occurs to you that there’s one item that you’ve worn out for too long and needs to be replaced. It will be:
A．leather shoes
B．wallet
C．Journal
D．handbag
Do you choose A, B, C or D, each of them corresponds to the image of your favorite lover, and alludes to what kind of "charisma" effect you are affected by.
A．leather shoes
Although there is a saying that "handsomeness begins with the feet", leather shoes are very suggestive items psychologically.If you choose leather shoes, you are the type who pays attention to your sexy charm. If someone compliments your sexiness and fashion, you may use this as an opportunity to fall in love.
B．wallet
The wallet is an intellectual image representing a shrewd mind.You are the methodical type who rarely makes mistakes, and people who care about and evaluate your work can bring you a sense of intimacy.Therefore, the love rate with company colleagues or bosses will be high.
C．Journal
A diary symbolizes relationships.You want to expand your interpersonal relationship and experience a rich emotional life, so people who are superior to you will make you have a strong curiosity, and being able to quietly listen to the other person's talk will also improve your love luck.Actively participating in various gatherings can meet fateful love encounters.
D．handbag
The handbag is a symbol of financial power and filling dreams.You intend to live a free life without social constraints through economic ability, so when you meet someone who is fighting for your career or ambition, you will have a good impression. If that person can give you good help to realize your dream, he will more attractive to you.
3.the degree to which you will fall in love at first sight
There is a pill that looks like sugar and powder on the table, what do you think it tastes like?
A．spicy
B．sweetness
C．bitterness
D．sour
A．spicy
You feel a little unfamiliar with the person you fell in love with at first sight.Because you are a person who recognizes life, you will warm up your feelings with each other gradually as you get along with each other. Even if you like each other in your heart, you will try not to show it.But when you know that the other person also likes you at a certain moment, you will actively show your charm.You are the gradual type.
B．sweetness
Chances are good that you will fall in love at first sight.You will give your all to love each other after falling in love at first sight, just like in the movie.Love at first sight is just attracted by the other person's appearance. When you meet someone you fall in love with at first sight, don't pursue desperately. Instead, you need to take a step back and approach the other person with reason, so that you will get a good love result.
C．bitterness
You are a suspicious coward type. Even if the other party leaves you with a good impression, you will not let go of love, but choose to keep it.Due to your cautious character, you may miss some marriages, but you will decide your mind after many contacts.You will also decide whether to observe and approach each other in detail based on first impressions.
D．sour
You are the type who will be conquered by a certain point of the other party.Or the smile is beautiful, or the clothes are beautiful, or the voice is nice...you will be attracted by a certain personality of the other person and fall in love.Your weakness is that once you don't feel a certain charm of the other party, you will feel very bored.
(End of this chapter)
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