David Copperfield

Chapter 94
Chapter 42 Telling the truth (1)
Even if I wrote this manuscript for myself, and did not intend for others to read it, I feel as if I should not write at length how I studied hard to be worthy of Dora and her two aunts. Shorthand, and how to make some progress in this regard.So, about the hardships of this period of my life, about that tenacious and enduring energy that was beginning to mature in me, I later found out that the source of my success was there.I am very lucky on the road of life. Many people have worked much harder than me, but their achievements are far less than mine.But without the habits of prudence, conscientiousness, and industry I formed then, and the determination I then made to concentrate on one thing at a time (regardless of the urgency of the latter), I would never have achieved current achievements.The reason why I say this is by no means to boast.

A person who recalls his life as carefully as I do, if he does not feel deeply that he has misused many talents, missed many opportunities, and has many evil thoughts constantly fighting in his chest, which have disturbed him to no avail. A person should be a very good person.I believe that I have never abused a natural talent myself.I mean, in my life, as long as it's something I want to do, I will definitely go all out.No matter what I am engaged in, I will concentrate on it and spare no effort to do it. No matter the big or small things, I will do it diligently and conscientiously.I have never believed that a person can achieve success by relying on natural or acquired talents, without the qualities of simplicity, honesty, perseverance, and hard work.There is nothing like it in this world.For some people to climb up, it is true that they can use their natural talents and lucky opportunities to build the sides of the ladder frame, but the steps of the ladder must be made of strong and durable materials that are not afraid of wear and tear.Never spare your energy for anything that should be done with all your strength; never belittle your own work, no matter what it is.I now find that these two sentences have become my golden rule.

I now summarize my actions into my motto.And how much I owe this behavior to Agnes, I need not repeat here.My account proceeds with gratitude and love for Agnes.

She came to the doctor's house to stay for two weeks.The doctor is an old friend of Mr. Wakefield, and the doctor wants to help him.This was the topic that Agnes talked about when she came to London last time. She came to the doctor's house this time just for that conversation.She came with her father.She told me that she was going to find a place for Mrs. Heep in the vicinity, that she needed a change of scenery because of Mrs. Heep's rheumatism, and that she liked coming here.I was not surprised when I heard this.The next day, the filial son Yulia brought his precious mother here to live.I'm not terribly surprised by this either.

"Master Copperfield," said he, when he insisted on taking me round the Doctor's gardens, "when a man is in love, he is always a little jealous—in any case, he will do it for His loved ones are worried."

"Who are you jealous of right now?" I said.

"Master Copperfield," he answered, "there is no one—a man."

"So you're jealous of a woman?"

He laughed.

"It is true, Master Copperfield," said he, "--I should say sir, but you are so clever that you draw my words out, and I can tell you frankly that I am a man who has never Not a big man to please a woman, especially Mrs. Strong, never," he said.

His eyes were full of jealousy.

"What do you mean by that?" I said.

"Master Copperfield, though I am a lawyer," he answered, "I say what I think, and what I say, and the truth."

"Then what do you mean by looking at me like that?" I asked rhetorically.

"Which way do I look at you? Copperfield, you are amazing! What does it mean when I look at you this way?"

"That's right," I said, "what do you mean by that look?"

He laughed, and went on:

"She despised me when I was a little clerk. She always kept Agnes at her house, and she was always very kind to you, Master Copperfield; but I was nothing compared to her then. It's too humble to get her attention."

I said, "Even so, so what!"

"Compared to her, I'm too humble," Yulia said.

"You know the Doctor so well," I said, "that you'd think he'd feel you everywhere when you weren't in his presence?"

He said:

"I don't mean the Doctor! Not the poor fellow. I mean Mr. Melton!"

When I heard his words, I felt depressed.I can't sort out the doubts and worries I had about this matter before, whether the doctor's life will be happy and safe, whether the innocence or reputation involved in this matter, all these are things I can't sort out.However, I knew in an instant that all these situations were manipulated by this guy, who could distort them at will and make fun of them on purpose.

"Whenever he comes to the office, he always tells me what to do," Yulia said. "He's one of the best of you gentlemen! I didn't like him in the past—now I still am!"

"She's one of your class," he said. "She'd never want to be with a man like me, I know that. That's the kind of man I'm going to teach my Agnes to be with." The way she waits for others makes her high-minded. Even if I don't know how to please women, Master Copperfield, I will observe with my eyes."

I tried to look unimpressed, but with little success.

"I will not allow myself to be despised any longer, Copperfield. I will do everything in my power to spoil their association. I confess that I am becoming more and more calculating, and that I will take all I will block back the meddling people. Once I know that someone is plotting against me, then I will never take the risk of plotting."

"You're always out there trying to figure people out, so you think everyone's out there trying to figure you out too?" I said.

"Probably so, Master Copperfield," he said, "but I have a principle, and I will try my best to realize it. Although I am humble, I should not be bullied too much! I Let no one stand in my way, in fact they ought to make way for me, Master Copperfield!"

"I don't understand what you mean," I said.

"Don't you really understand?" said he. "You've always been a wise man, Master Copperfield, and it surprises me that you don't understand! I'll make it clearer to you next time. Fence There's a bell at the door, is it Mr Melton, sir?"

"Probably him," I replied.

Yulia stopped without making any sound.I turned and walked away in disgust.

The next night, a Saturday, I took Agnes to see Dora.Our visit had been arranged with Miss Lavinia, so they invited Agnes to tea.

I fell into an uneasy state of pride and anxiety: I was proud because I had such a petite and lovely fiancée; I was anxious because I didn't know whether Agnes would like her.On the way to Putney, Agnes was in the carriage and I was outside.Along the way, I didn’t do anything else. I only thought about the various forms of Dora I was familiar with, and I decided that I wanted her to look like that one time, and then hesitated, whether she was cuter in the other time some.I just pondered and pondered like this, almost getting a fever.

In any case, however, she was very pretty, and of that I never had any doubts.But this time, I have never seen her so beautiful.Dora was not in the drawing room when I introduced Agnes to the two aunts, but hid herself timidly elsewhere.I knew exactly where to find her.Sure enough, she was hiding behind the dark old door again.

At first, she didn't want to come out.Then she begged me again, she only stayed for 5 minutes.When she finally went to the living room with me, her charming little face was flushed and very beautiful.But when we entered the living room, her little face was pale again, but more beautiful than before.

Dora was afraid of Agnes.She once told me that she knew Agnes was "too smart."But as soon as she saw how happy, sincere, thoughtful, and kind Agnes looked, she immediately put her arms around Agnes's neck and pressed her lovely face to Agnes's.

I've never been that happy.Sitting side by side, the two of them saw my petite lover look up into the sincere eyes of Agnes, who looked at her so softly and beautifully.

Miss Lavinia and Miss Clarissa were as happy as I was in their different ways.That afternoon party was the happiest party in the whole world.The party was hosted by Miss Clarissa.I cut up the sweet cakes and gave them to everyone--Miss Lavinia looked on with such kindness and love, as if our love was made by her hands.We were all very happy with ourselves and with each other.

Agnes's mild, cheerful humor touched the hearts of every one of them.She took an unassuming interest in everything that Dora loved her.Dora looked so sweet when she refused to sit beside me as usual because of her shyness.Her modest demeanor, her ease of manner, made Dora blushed and said many things of herself to her.All of these seem to make our little party more perfect.

"I'm so glad," said Dora, "that you should like me, and I need it more now than I ever did without Julia Mills." By the way, Miss Mills was gone .Dora and I visited her on the merchant ship in Gravesend, and we ate pickled ginger, guava, and other delicacies.Miss Mills sat there weeping when we left.

Agnes said, probably, I must have made her so unlikable.But Dora immediately corrected that.

"Nothing!" she said. "He always compliments you. He admires your opinion so much that it frightens me."

"If I say yes to someone he knows," Agnes said with a smile, "it won't make him feel more attached to that person. So if I say that person is good or bad, it doesn't matter at all."

"However, I beg you to speak me kindly," said Dora, "if you will."

So that short night seemed to fly away on wings as light as gossamer.We were about to leave, and when I was alone, Dora slipped over and gave me the customary kiss before we left.

"If I had been friends with her long ago, David," said Dora, "do you think I should be any wiser than I am now?"

"Honey!" I said, "you're talking nonsense!"

"Really?" added Dora, "you think it's nonsense?"

"certainly!"

"I've forgotten," said Dora, "that Agnes has anything to do with you, you are so wicked!"

(End of this chapter)