Your loneliness is more moving than this world

Chapter 10 The Bad Boys of East Street (3)
The waiter walked in carrying beer, bringing a new round of climax in the private room, and twenty or so people at the two tables grabbed bottles and toasted, making a lot of noise.Gao Lei seemed to be the protagonist, leading everyone to play a card game of "The King and the Beggar".Fatty Yuan, who was fined to drink, couldn't stand it anymore. He knelt on one knee and called Gao Lei "King".

In a trance, I had the illusion that time and space were reversed. The personnel in front of me were just repetitions of personnel in a certain stage in the past. Kneeling directly pushed Gao Lei's career as a king to the peak.

The policeman pulled over to the side of the road, turned off the warning lights and walked out.I sat on the steps with a cigarette in my hand and smiled at him, but without changing his face, he stood in front with his hands in his pockets and said, "Why is no one here to see you off?" I said, "Brother, I'm almost thirty, go You want someone to send you a piece of Beijing? Tell me, what’s the matter?” He glanced around and said, “Actually, I want to talk to you alone, but you don’t have time, so I can only follow here. It’s not a big deal, just I want to talk to you about Gao Lei.” I said, “Can you sit down and talk? When you stand like this, people passing by will think you are here to arrest me.” “What’s wrong with arresting you? What kind of person are you? Is it?" He said with his eyes wide open, "Just stand and talk, whether you like it or not." I said, "All right, all right, tell me, what's wrong with Gao Lei?" He said, "Gao Lei has been promoted very much in the past two years. Be quick, eat well, and help a lot of old classmates, but I advise you, don't have business dealings with him, let alone do illegal things, I don't want to drive this car to catch my brother in the future. I stubbed out the cigarette, and said to him righteously: "I swear to you on my own face, there is absolutely nothing illegal between me and him, okay?"

He stopped talking and stared at me, and I stared at him.After a long time, he sighed, came over and sat down and said: "Give me a cigarette." I said: "Aren't you going on a business trip?" He said: "After smoking this cigarette, leave."

4. Different sky
On the train, I thought about what the police said all the way, and re-examined my own morality.In fact, the police are not the only ones among my old classmates who have opinions on my identity as a wine dealer. Old classmates who work in Shijiazhuang and Beijing have long expressed their dissatisfaction with Gao Lei in private. They may be jealous, or they may not be used to it. My arrogance, in short, they think that I use my old classmates to collude with government and businessmen for personal gain, and ruin the reputation of old classmates in the painting class.Before I returned to Niucheng this time, my old Beijing classmates collectively called Gao Lei, claiming that they would not show up wherever Guo Xiaoyu appeared in the future, unless he was told to leave.

Gao Lei naturally didn't want to give up his relationship with every old classmate, so he came to Beijing as a peacemaker.He first accompanied me to meet a girl with high reputation among the old classmates of Bei Piao, and asked her to date other people for us.I took out my wallet and went to the private room of a KTV on the East Third Ring Road, and stood at the gate with Gao Lei to wait. Although I still didn’t know where I was wrong, I decided to apologize to everyone, but after two hours, no one showed up. , and there is no phone to get through.

On the way to send Gao Lei back to the hotel, I gritted my teeth and said nothing, Gao Lei patted my shoulder and said, "Forget it."

I drove to the residence of the wine merchant and told him that I would not do this business. He was astonished and asked all kinds of things, and I said: "Don't ask, anyway, from today onwards, you can go to Niucheng to talk about customers by yourself. Take me, I quit." He said: "The entire distribution system in southern Jinan was established by us together, and you don't want it just at the beginning, don't you think it's a pity? Besides, I still count on your friend's company to help us new Sign a few dealers to do publicity, you can’t say no to it.” I said: “I can talk about publicity, and their company is willing to take this kind of work, but I don’t like the people we met before. Goodbye."

Mingming showed a bit of embarrassment on the phone, and after going around for a long time, he said that he didn't want to take the wine merchant's job.I said, "What do you mean? Choose what I can understand." He said, "Recently, our company has made adjustments, focusing all our energy on helping the government of the development zone to attract investment, and no longer accepting projects from ordinary small units. I mentioned the matter you mentioned in the company, and Fatty Yuan and several other people obviously disagree." I said, "That means there is no room for relaxation, right?" He said, "I didn't say anything either. I can’t pick it up, but Fatty Yuan is responsible for corporate advertising on our side. He is the business manager. Although I am the general manager, Fatty Yuan holds one-fifth of the shares by himself. I don’t say everything alone. It's up to you. You have to ask Gao Lei to come forward about this matter, Fatty Yuan and the others are more convinced by Gao Lei, and only after Gao Lei speaks can they give you this face."

Maybe it was from then on that I started to loathe my hometown and people. Of course, I hated myself even more. I was not a snobbish person, but since I dealt with wine merchants and people, everything I have done seems to be snobbish.I never thought that I would become a complicated person, but in reality, each of us is becoming more and more difficult.

Gao Lei readily agreed to help, and he asked me, "Are you going back to Niucheng this time?" I said, "No, just say something to Fatty Yuan and the others, don't worry too much, they won't answer." It's okay to promise."

"Gao Yu? The rich Yu?" My friend suddenly became interested.I said, "Yes, you know her?" My friend said, "Is it the one with yellow hair, wavy, tall and thin, with a line of Latin tattooed on the inside of his left arm?" I looked at him in horror, and my friend laughed. Get up: "I ×, what a coincidence, of course we know her. The girlfriend of our band's lead singer is her. The two of us just broke up not long ago. I heard that she is now hanging out with Mustang Records. This girl is specially selected for signing. Singer, we don’t have a contract, after all, we don’t like it at all. What’s your relationship with her?” I said, “I’m just a fellow, I studied art back then, and I know her brother well. What’s wrong with this girl? Go on? You continue." My friend said, "Do you want to listen to the ugly words?" I said, "Nonsense, what's the point? Tell me!" "This girl is not very good," my friend put down his teacup and looked at me and said, "It's too Vain, too snobbish, spends all day making connections with celebrities, dreaming of signing a contract to become a singer, movie star or something, but who cares about her, those who are with her privately no one regards her as a friend, they all treat her as a friend. Guoer [?

Guoer, a proper term in the rock circle, refers to a woman who is obsessed with music, follows a band, and is keen to have sex with band members.

] Sleeping, but I don’t seem to care, one by one counts as one, and they are all famous. "

After my friend left, I was so distraught that I started to clean the place to get rid of boredom.When Mingming called, I jumped on the sofa and asked, "What's the matter?" He said, "The wine customers you introduced had a fight with Fatty Yuan. They didn't pay the money on time, and they said that our side was slow to work. I said at the beginning that you shouldn't take care of this..." I interrupted him and said, "Obviously, can you stop mentioning your work matters to me? You can make up your mind!" "What's wrong with you?" He noticed Seeing that I was in a bad mood, I slowed down and continued, "Did that wine merchant talk to you? I don't mean anything else. Aren't these all your former friends? Let's discuss a solution together." I closed Mu Mu calmed down, picked up the phone again and said, "Okay, I'll go back with the wine merchant tomorrow, just wait."

I covered my face with my hands and lay down, the phone started to vibrate again, I picked it up and saw that it was a call from a wine merchant, and dropped it into the distance.

On the main road of the development zone, the wine merchant pressed the car window and said: "This place in your hometown is developing really fast, and it changes every time, so it is right for us to promote here. It’s heaven.” I reached out and patted the driver, and said, “Change the road, go to the government of the development zone first.” The wine merchant asked, “Why are you going there?” I said, “Go to Gao Lei, and ask him to help mediate. The wine merchant laughed: "Oh, why did I forget this, Gao Lei can talk here, that's right, go to him first." I looked out the window expressionlessly, and said to him: "It's just this time. You can settle your affairs by yourself in the future. I don't want to ask Gao Lei anymore." The wine merchant was stunned for a moment, but didn't speak.

In Mingming's company's living room, the wine merchant and I were surrounded by crowds.Xiao Ning stretched out his arms to fend off Fatty Yuan. Fatty Yuan was relentless, pointed at me through Xiao Ning and said, "We didn't want to take these orders at the beginning. You asked Gao Lei to protect them. How about now? In front of Gao Lei In front of Lei, what else do you have to say!" I said, "What are you calling, isn't it just a little business? What does it matter to me whether you like to do it or not? I came back this time to help you recover money. Do you think I'm willing to take care of this nonsense?" Fatty Yuan yelled, "It doesn't matter what kind of person you pretend to be? Didn't you always drink with them before? How can you speak for them like this without getting any benefits?" Gao Lei came over, helped Xiao Ning hold Fatty Yuan together, and persuaded: "Okay, okay, everyone will look at my face, let's sit down and have a good chat, okay? Your own people are fighting with your own people, no Do you find it embarrassing?" Fatty Yuan said, "Gao Lei, I'm not talking about you, look at what you've done, and talk about cooperation with a wine dealer like Guo Xiaoyu, what can you do!" I said, "You say Who is the wine dealer!" "What's wrong with you, and you!" Fatty Yuan pointed to the wine merchant, "If you don't make up the money to our company today, don't leave, let's go directly to the Industrial and Commercial Bureau to file a case!"

During the whole process, obviously standing behind me without saying a word, I turned my face and looked at him angrily, and he didn't even dare to look up at me.The wine merchant held back for a long time, and said, "Okay! Call your accountants, and I will pay you now, isn't it just this little money? I paid for my clients, and our cooperation is terminated!"

The wine merchant got into the car angrily and left. Mingming, Gao Lei and I stood at the gate of the enterprise park, looking at each other innocently.In Gao Lei's eyes, my trip may be a conspiracy.In my eyes, Mingming and Fatty Yuan are really conspiring.After half a minute, Gao Lei said: "Okay, it's over, come with me for a while, go to my house for a drink, the three of us haven't chatted together for a long time." I said: "Next time , I have booked a ticket back to Beijing, and I have to go to the station in a while." Gao Lei became anxious and said, "Xiao Yu, can you stop doing this? What can you do if you return to Beijing so early? Brothers finally met , don’t be too ruthless. Let me tell you, Guo Xiaoyu, I can let you go on other days, but not today. I haven’t invited anyone to my house for dinner. Today it’s just the three of us, you can figure it out.” Taking a look at Mingming, he said calmly, "Gao Lei is right, stay here."

In the study room of Gao Lei’s house, the floor is covered with dried fruits and cooked meat. Mingming, Gao Lei and I sit cross-legged.After drinking a dozen beers, Gao Lei got a little drunk, turned the bottle on the ground and said, "The friends who played together back then are not as close as they used to be." I said, "It was when I was a child, and now Now, everyone has their own work and life, so naturally their ideas are different.” Gao Lei said, “You mean that the environment changes people, and these are inevitable?” I said, “Yes. , People of our generation will always part ways one day. Isn’t it all like this? When money, name, and status are mixed up, and in the end even friends are not mixed up, it is considered a success.” Mingming said: “Gao Lei, have you ever thought about it? However, you treat everyone as buddies, but they don’t necessarily treat you with the same heart? When it’s good, the melons are sweet, and when it’s not good, who remembers you.” “I didn’t I want them to remember me," Gao Lei popped open the wine bottle and said, "I am kind to ten people, and I am satisfied with five people accepting my favor. I am different from you. You are all rich now. There is only money in my life, but I still value friends. No matter how much money you have, you can’t buy friends. Besides, no matter how much money you have, you’ll lose it if you don’t have it. As for friends, even if we break up, we can get together sooner or later .”

"Obviously," he said with a blink of his eyes, "I know you've been looking down on me, can I ask why? What do you think I, Gao Lei, did not do well, just tell me. Look at the old classmates in our painting class , hundreds of people, no matter where they are now, who dares to say that I, Gao Lei, are sorry for him?" Mingming blushed, and said: "Oh, Gao Lei, you are drunk, why do you look down on me? Didn't I say that? , you are the same to everyone, there will always be someone who will accept your love." I smoothed things over and said, "Yeah, everyone has been here for so many years, Gao Lei, can you stop saying such unreasonable things?" Gao Lei stared and said : "Okay, Guo Xiaoyu, if you say that I'm talking outside the box, then you can tell me something about your own people. Feel your conscience and say, have you ever treated me as your own? You have treated me as your own." People? I have always told you everything, but what about you, how many things do you keep from me? Guo Xiaoyu, when did you tell me about your sister and me after so many years? You asked me Do you think that I am your stumbling block, do you think that I don't want you two to associate?" I said, "Let's talk about something else, don't keep mentioning these past things?" Gao Lei raised his voice "Tell me, why don't you mention it? You put my sister to sleep, but now you are afraid to mention the past to me?" Mingming stretched out his hand to hold Gao Lei down: "Gao Lei, don't get excited, sit down and talk about it." Gao Lei He sat back in his seat and stared at me without changing his expression.Ming Ming said, "Gao Yu hasn't been back for several years?" Gao Lei grabbed a bottle of wine and drank it, with tears in his eyes, he said, "It's been almost four years, so I'll call my dad during the holidays, and my dad won't let me know." I know where she is. I'm different from my dad. I've always thought I didn't have this sister. This damn girl is just like my mother back then. After eating our family's food, she flew away as soon as her wings hardened. Guo Xiaoyu, don't you keep saying Say you love Gao Yu? You go to her, if you have the ability to keep her, go to her! You are the most hypocritical, let me tell you, you are all fucking hypocritical!"

5. Clowns in Beijing

After returning to Beijing, I started to drink too much, and I was drunk almost every night. I lost interest in everything, as if I could only find a sense of existence when I was drunk.I gradually lost my mind and began to cheat the company's public relations department to drink alcohol until my stomach wall bleeds and I fell unconscious.My shared friend took me to a nearby hospital by taxi in the middle of the night. The doctor on duty got busy and stood beside the bed and said to my friend: "When he wakes up, you have to persuade him, he is so young, he can't drink liquor like this anymore. "I opened my eyes and said: "Actually, I like beer." The doctor said: "You can pull it down! You can't drink any wine like this!"

The chairman came back from abroad and called me to the office alone. He closed the door, handed me a cigarette, and said: "Recently, the people in the general manager's office have a lot of opinions on you. I will give you a week off first to avoid the limelight." " I said, "No, I can handle things at work." The chairman sat down and said, "No, you have to go back, stop drinking and come back again. If you can't stop drinking, I can't protect you. You are talented, The people here also value you very much, I don't want to break everyone's fate just because of drinking."

I knew the current affairs and agreed to the chairman on the spot. After half a year, I stayed away from all alcoholic beverages.I stopped all part-time jobs and devoted all my energy to my own work. Several leaders of the company slowly regained their trust in me.To pass the time, I followed the advice of the general manager and enrolled in a oral English training class. In the class, I met a girl from Beijing, and soon became boyfriend and girlfriend with her.My girlfriend’s background is much more prominent than mine. She once studied abroad in a small country in the Mediterranean Sea. She didn’t say what she majored in, but she was a very dogmatic girl. Under her instigation, I started to work as a volunteer in an orphanage. Listen to classical music and even go to a Catholic church to learn the teachings.

During the change of seasons in autumn and winter, I contracted pneumonia and began to cough day and night. Sometimes I feel that this inflammation is far more terrifying than being drunk. Every time there is no symptom, the office, the cafeteria, the toilet, and the street cough so much that people are covered in cold sweat , confused, but helpless.I had to ask for sick leave again, and went back to my residence to recuperate. During this period, I lived in seclusion and never saw anyone again.A box of traditional Chinese medicine was obviously sent from Niucheng. It looked so scary that I didn't dare to eat any of it.He put forward the idea of ​​starting a company in Beijing on the phone, and asked me if I was interested in participating. I said that I am not interested for the time being, and he continued: "Then you can ask my old classmates who work in Beijing, who are designers and planners. , the market, see if anyone wants to start a business.” After I coughed, I wiped my mouth with a paper and said, “People in Beijing are high-spirited, and it’s not easy for you to employ them.” Mingming said, “Tell them , Feel free to ask for any treatment you want, I have plenty of money." I laughed and said, "Okay, let me ask a few questions for you, but you are the boss, so you have to shout this slogan, and you also know that old classmates in Beijing used to treat I am a bit prejudiced, and people may not believe what I say."

(End of this chapter)