Your loneliness is more moving than this world

Chapter 7 You're like the boy I've seen (2)
Ke works in a game company near China World Trade Center, designing scenes and characters. He likes to draw and likes that job.Ke went to work at 08:30 in the morning and came back after 1.8:[-] in the evening. After eating a cold meal, he continued to draw until one or two o'clock.That company doesn't have weekends and weekends, only Sunday is the day off, so he just stays at home and sleeps all day.Ke's desk has two drawers, one drawer is filled with various drawing tools, and the other drawer is filled with various over-the-counter medicines.He is [-] meters tall and is sick from head to toe, namely: trachoma, sinusitis, pharyngitis, gastritis, hemorrhoids, and corns.When Ke was also unhappy, he looked at me and said: "Our company is making counterfeit games. We are looking for quantity rather than quality, and we have already been in arrears of wages for three months." I said: "Isn't it? If I ask you to borrow money there, I don’t even know how to take the elevator, so high-end places still owe wages?” Ke said: “High-end? In [-], our company spent three months developing a "Warcraft Gaiden" and sold it for a year. It is a high-end product." I said, "That's right. Foreigners like to make brands, and we only know how to make products." Ke said: "Is it the same in the liquor circle?" I said, "Which circle is different these days?"

Ke lost his job, and the new boss didn’t want to go into the muddy waters of copycat games again, so he disbanded the team. The project manager took the documents and looked around for another job. A month later, Ke followed the team to work in another copycat game company. In 2010, Ke’s blood flowed down his trousers to his feet. He called me and said, “Chao, come and see me in the hospital.” I said, “What’s wrong with you?” He smiled and said, “I was shot Chrysanthemum." A few college classmates and I rushed to Fengtai District Hospital, Ke lay on the hospital bed, still smiling and said: "I only found out after hemorrhoid surgery, so men also use sanitary napkins."

In the evening, I leaned on the bed with my upper body bare and played the piano, and found a man and a woman on the opposite floor doing exercises with the lights on.The girl was alert, turned her face to look out of the window, and pulled the curtains behind her.I put down the piano and wondered if it was time for me to find a girlfriend.

Two days later, a girl doing sports appeared in the neighborhood supermarket holding another boy's arm. The two smiled sweetly and had an ambiguous conversation. I was extremely shocked, and my trust in women fell to the bottom in an instant.

A girl living alone in North Piao got up at 07:30, looked in the mirror until [-] o'clock, stepped on high heels and carried a bag, walked to the station while eating breakfast, queuing, crowded, sweating, clocked in at work, smiling and Leaders greet each other, greet customers with a smile, and greet colleagues with a smile.Tired of laughing, tired of greeting, clocked in, went home, didn't even have the energy to cook, lay in bed in a daze, stared at the computer screen in a daze, stood on the floor in pajamas, barefoot, and drank a liter of boiled water in one go , went back to the bed, lay down on his side, picked up his mobile phone and greeted the male netizen he just met.In the middle of the night, the wind in the air conditioner becomes colder, the light outside the window becomes brighter, and she cannot close her eyes after waking up. She begins to fantasize about encounters on the street, old love returning, her best friend's boyfriend, and her coach.

I am not qualified to comment on the female North Drifters. In fact, the life pressure and work pressure of these girls are much higher than that of men of the same age, and their hormones are far less powerful than theirs.

The leaders and colleagues in the new unit treated me very well. Only the sales manager was disgusting. He was obviously from Hebei.A year later, the sales manager was fired, and I found out that no one in the company likes him. He is the typical little guy in the workplace, and almost every company has this kind of person.Small people can't do big business, and it is easy to delay big business. The sales manager resigned, the company's performance doubled, the company's human touch and comfort were the best in the capital, and even the front desk girl grew fat.

Xiaoye quit her job in the south and followed her boyfriend to Beijing desperately. On the second day of her arrival, she came to me crying.She broke up. She didn't say the reason for the breakup, but just cried.I was so upset that I tried to coax her with gossip all the way, but it didn't work.Back at the residence, I went to the kitchen to cook. She sat on the sofa next to the luggage and continued to cry. After crying, she came to me and told me that a friend would pick her up later, and she was going back to Changsha.

Xiao Ye, who was in love, stopped contacting me after returning to Changsha. In the spring of 2010, I dreamed of Communication University and Tonghuihe, realized it, and decided to propose to her.I went online to find her and asked her how she was recently. She said she was married, and when I said when, she said that last winter, she got a certificate with a boy without telling her family.She was very proud, and my mind went blank.Xiao Ye is one of the few girls I have ever loved, and the only one who said goodbye in a hurry. I imagined that one day I would be old, and I would wait for her at the place where I first met. Worried old Southern man.

In addition to Xiao Ye, I also met another Anhui kid who loves literature on Sina blog in 2007. He was very poor, very poor, and his blog posts almost all described how poor he was in childhood, adolescence and youth. At the beginning of 2009, this guy suddenly saw through the world, wrote the last blog post, and sold his pants.

5.
After Ke moved away, I stayed in Tongzhou District and found a three-bedroom apartment near Linheli to share.My neighbors are all employees of Mammoth Dairy. Mammoths are warm and generous. They often have dinner in the living room on weekends and invite me to have dinner.I don't like seafood hot pot, and I don't like the boyfriend of the girl in the master bedroom.This boy from Guizhou who wears glasses works in Haidian District and only comes here once a week.In front of the TV, I was complaining about current affairs with the mammoths. He interrupted me and said, pretending to be deep: "I tell you, it is better not to know some things than to know." I replied, "Yes, there are many things in this world. People have the same opinion as you.” Poor guy with glasses, he doesn’t earn as much money as his girlfriend, doesn’t have as many friends as his girlfriend, and doesn’t know as much as his girlfriend.When they broke up for the last time, the man with glasses brought his younger brother to pack up his things, and stood weakly in the living room and quarreled with his girlfriend for the last time. The relatives and friends of both parties used vicious words to ridicule each other's history of cheating.

The mammoths were puzzled by my singleness, and introduced a female mammoth with buck teeth.I had a meal with the buck-toothed mammoth, and was blocked the next day. The other mammoths were afraid that I would be upset, and explained that this girl had just left her job and was going back to her hometown to work, and she wanted to find someone with a house in Shijiazhuang.I said: "Oh." When paying the electricity bill, I met a Henan girl from a wealth management company in the Agricultural Bank of China. After the meal, I resolutely terminated the relationship, because I accidentally discovered that she was having affairs with many men at the same time, and the purpose was only to sell her financial products.

Like many domestic companies, most girls from the lower class lack a sense of security in this era, so they value material conditions very much. This is normal and easy to understand, just like boys in their 20s are used to thinking about love with their lower body. There is no need to pursue too much morally, but everyone has spent too much energy on big houses, big cars, and big breasts, ignoring the most simple and most important things in the relationship between men and women, and laying the groundwork for another tragedy in the future. There is a hidden danger.

I go back to Shijiazhuang probably once a year, and Haili’s nest, my senior, is my only base in Shijiazhuang.Haili is not superstitious about Beijing, Shanghai and Guangzhou. After graduation, he quit his job and started a company with his friends. Then he made a fortune, married and bought a house in the local area. His only worries may be the company's reform and shares.At ten o'clock in the evening, Hailey hustled his wife to the next door, closed the door, a pack of cigarettes, two glasses of water, two literary men talked all night, history, geography, current affairs, life, books, movies, music, women, and even religion And fate, for me who has been alone for many years and has few confidants, this is undoubtedly the happiest moment.

Ke invited me to dinner in Fengtai District, and the conversation was a little more helpless than two years ago.We are in our third year. At this age, we are faced with problems such as marriage, buying a house, and having children. More and more people around us have paid the down payment with their parents’ money, married a wife, and are complacent. Our outlook on life has begun to be challenged.So I came back to an old question: why did we come to Beijing?For rock and roll?Rock music has long since become a commercial clown.For the Forbidden City?Half of the Forbidden City is fake.for money?It is still difficult to support a family with a salary in the era of the bubble economy, let alone achieve any great cause.For chance?Opportunity seems to be more attached to those who are born with strong strength.I love this place. I have lived in villages, high-rise buildings, made friends, and loved girls, but my love is clearly mixed with pessimism. I used to be pessimistic about my career, family, women, friends, etc. Now as a For documentary lovers, I suspect that an asteroid will appear in the field of vision tomorrow. At that time, migrant workers, white-collar workers, officials, and beggars on the street will all stop and look up at the light in the sky stupidly. Their hairstyles will disappear. The purse melted, the genitals smoked, and all right and wrong entered the countdown in an instant, and then were wiped out in huge shock waves and rays.

At the end of 2009, I saw a girl at Yong’anli Station of the subway. I followed her to get off the train, followed her out of the station, and saw her floral skirt fluttering in the light. At that moment, I suddenly hated Beijing, like a confused People have walked countless roads and collapsed in a strange place.In the past ten years, I have been wandering. I seem to be used to wandering, just like I am used to being single.I have always thought that as long as I am single, I will have unrealistic love, as long as I am still wandering, I will have unrealistic ideals, but now, I miss the friends who grew up together and loved me back then someone's girl.Do they know where I am at this moment?Do they remember who I am?Will they have successfully forgotten who they are in the bright lights of the same foreign land?
6.
Lei never came to the capital again, he bought a second-hand house in Xingtai.Huizi was never complained by his wife again, so he went back to his hometown and became a technical school teacher.Da Lan never changed her boyfriend again, and she got married in Nanjing.Ke's hemorrhoids did not come back, and he was no longer busy after his promotion.Haili no longer bothered about company reform, and his novel was finally published in the same book as his idol Mo Yan.More people choose to leave Beijing, and those who stay in Beijing will never see each other again. Beijing is so big that you can really forget everything.

Xiaoye came to Beijing on a business trip and invited me to dinner. She was still so pretty.Walking after dinner, I asked her, "How is your husband?" She smiled and said, "I'm lying to you, I'm not married." Come, take away the last trace of my nostalgia for love.

A girl from Northeast China who graduated from university was dissatisfied with the working environment in Changchun and resigned; she was dissatisfied with her boyfriend in Changchun and broke up.She is not angry, she is distressed, she said she longs for a vigorous life.I said to her: "Come to Beijing." She said: "Why?" I said: "A girl like you is suitable for a big city." She said: "I want to go to a big city and a big company to develop, but everyone I’m a little afraid of talking about Beijing drifting all day long.” I said, “What are you afraid of? You are young, beautiful, and smart. Beijing is such a place, as long as you are young, beautiful, ambitious, and not afraid of hardship, you can get everything. , at least, get money, and for many people, getting money means getting everything."

At the end of the summer of 2011, I resolutely left "Grain King" and switched to another higher-end, naked, and cruel liquor company.I am 28 years old and I want to get money. I am no exception in this era. Only by taking money can I keep a woman who does not need feelings. Only by taking money can I start the so-called mainstream good life.I have no roots, no one can rely on, I have to fight myself, I have to go forward against the wind, I have to be like the crowd rushing forward at the Metro Communication University station three years ago, in this place that does not belong to me Squeeze out a piece of your own territory.If I make it, I will be happy, if I don’t, it’s okay, there are other things in life, isn’t there?
Zhang Dalin said: "It's not that we look down on foreigners, it's just that we don't like them. You people, with youth and talent, snobbery and means, come here to pursue your own interests. You don't love this place at all, you only love this place." Local money. You destroy this place for money, making it dirty, smelly, and smoky. You all have a picturesque hometown full of memories behind you. What about us? Where are we Beijingers going? You leave when you achieve your goal , ruthless and unjust."

Maybe one day, I go back to my hometown, choose to be a loving and righteous person, find a stable job, meet a quiet little leftover woman, get married, buy a house, have children, hand in my salary card, and eat with my family Dinner, watching TV, having sex with my wife once a week, attending parent-teacher meetings twice a month, traveling with my boss three times a quarter, drinking and vomiting four times a year.I might still gain weight, quarrel with people with my big belly, slipped and fell on a street full of sunset, the soy sauce bottle in my hand was broken, and the soy sauce mixed with the soil gave off a fishy smell, I quickly stood up, Look around, pat the dust, and walk away as if nothing had happened.Will I still remember Beijing?Do you still remember the girl standing in Yong'anli?I think I'll remember, I'll stand in that bright light again, and remember who I really am.

7.
To all the friends who have ended Beidiao, and to all the friends who love the capital and have loved the capital.

Niucheng under the night is filled with chill, and I can't tell whether the hazy sound in the distance is the sound of cars or human voices. They are entangled together, and they are far and near in my ears.

(End of this chapter)