1000 Business Lessons Every Businessman Must Know

Chapter 69 Network management: good contacts are managed (2)
Third, develop the habit of frequently looking at business cards. During work breaks, look through your business card files, give the other party a greeting call, send a blessing text message, etc., so that the other party can feel your presence and concern for him. with respect.Fourth, regularly clean up business cards.Organize all the business cards and related resource data at your hand in a comprehensive manner, and divide them into three piles according to the importance of relevance, long-term interaction and use probability, and data integrity. The first pile must be kept for a long time , the second pile is not sure and can be kept temporarily, and the third pile is definitely not needed.Destruction of unnecessary items will be determined.

[-]. Improve interpersonal relationship
554. Being Generous and Easy to Make Friends
American tycoon Rockefeller once said with emotion in his heyday: "If the ability to get along with people can be bought like sugar and coffee, I will pay more for this ability." At the age of 20, money is made by physical strength, at the age of 30, money is made by brain power, and after the age of 40, money is made by friendship.

Both talk about the same meaning: the more friends, the more opportunities to make money.And how to cultivate friendship?Hei Xiaolong, head of Carnegie Training Greater China, believes: "A complete interpersonal relationship includes three stages, discovering contacts, managing friendships, and appearing nobles."

In modern society, building connections is far from being as vulgar and simple as the so-called "connection" in the past. It involves deepening on many levels and requires careful management.

Look for people to take the initiative to attack, find people you want to know and try your best to get acquainted, and treat them generously as your good friends after you get acquainted.

Some people may say: Those who eat and drink often are wine and meat friends, and they may not be sincere.But the starting point of developing contacts is to first "travel" and then select the ones that can be focused on for development. It is necessary to take the first step, be generous to others, and let people feel your atmosphere. Look at the people around you and you will found that being generous made friends more easily.

555. Lower your posture, lower your figure
"Others have a heart, let me think about it." This is "Mencius.The famous saying in Qi Huan and Jin Wenzhi, it actually tells the only way to let your friends appreciate you.

John Dewey, a professor of interpersonal studies at Harvard University in the United States, once said: "The most ardent need in human nature is the desire to be affirmed." Of course, we are not advocating insincere and perfunctory friends, but to learn to "lower your posture, lower your figure" and learn to be careful. Listen to what others say, learn to "think about others' hearts", understand the reasons and positions of friends who say this, and try to be considerate of them, so that you can not only learn from their strengths, but also make friends feel that they are respected and understood.

Even if you are already a successful boss, in front of your friends, you must never associate with your friends with a high profile. In that case, your friends will only be farther and farther away from you, and you will eventually become a "lonely person".

There is nothing mysterious about the ability to build good relationships.Being good with people is not limited to people who are born with a certain charm, although some people do have a natural gift for it.For most of us, the ability to relate well to people is a learned skill.The following fifteen guiding principles can help you gain the skills to deal with people.Use these principles to build good relationships.

556. Consider Others' Feelings
People are emotional animals.We speak logically and rationally subjectively, but we should not ignore the point of emotion.If you want to have a successful relationship with someone, you have to take their feelings into consideration.As Paul Pacal said: "You can succeed more emotionally than rationally in communicating with people."

A woman goes into a shoe store to buy shoes.A male clerk in the shoe store had a great attitude and took pains to find her the right size, but couldn't find it.At last he said, "Looks like I can't find one for you, one foot is bigger than the other."

The lady was very angry and stood up to leave. The manager of the shoe store heard the conversation between the two and asked the lady to stay.The male clerk watched the manager persuade the lady to sit down again, and it didn't take long for a pair of shoes to be sold.

After the lady left, the clerk asked the manager, "How did you manage to get this business? What I said just now meant exactly what you meant, but she was very angry."

The manager explained, "It's not the same, I told her one foot is smaller than the other."

The manager also told the woman the truth, but he considered her feelings and spoke to her with skill and respect.He sees things from the lady's point of view, so it works.The ability to read other people's feelings and then consider them with respect can be very useful.

557. Discuss, but avoid argument

It is beneficial to discuss problems with each other, on the contrary, there is absolutely no benefit in arguing.What is the difference between discussing and arguing?Arguing is an attempt to forcibly change another person's point of view.As a result of the debate, one side always "wins" and one side "loses".A discussion is an exchange of ideas with the goal of finding a solution that is fair to everyone.Discussions are about creating a situation where both parties win.

Arguments always do some kind of harm.Even if you "win" an argument, you can ruin the relationship with the other person.

Remember, admitting mistakes is the greatest wisdom, but you cannot force others to admit mistakes.If you want to persuade the other person to change his point of view, you should proceed with great skill and caution.

First, let him step down.That way the "opponent" won't be offended by you when he has to change sides.Describe the situation as: your original point of view was the same as his current point of view, and later you discovered new information, or someone pointed out a better method for you, or you now look at the problem from a new perspective.Let the other person know that you think smart people can change their minds without losing their dignity.

Second, if possible, make him feel that he, too, has thought of the idea.If he has said something similar to the point you are trying to make, repeat what he said.Try to find evidence that he actually has this view.Tell him that his position was natural and that the situation is different now because it is also natural to change the position.

Finally, if possible, let the other person convince themselves.Never claim that you changed his mind.Otherwise, he won't feel that both sides are winners, he will only feel that you have won and he has lost.

558. Building Good Relationships with Strangers
In a book written by Julian, the United States said: "The first 4 minutes of contact between strangers are crucial to whether or when people are willing to become friends. When you meet strangers in social situations, You should focus on him for 4 minutes. So many lives will change."

According to some statistics, if people who meet for the first time give a good impression, then in the days to come, the probability of success in asking for help will be greatly increased.Everyone knows that a prerequisite for success in business is making a good first impression.

People's first impression is indelible. No one likes people with fierce looks, and people who lack self-confidence always make people feel timid.Some people are easy to win the favor of others, this is the reason for giving others a good first impression.

When you meet for the first time, it is very important to make a good first impression on the other party.However, it will take no more than 4 minutes for the other party to get a first impression of you.That is to say, as long as you can successfully grasp the 4 minutes of the first meeting, it means that the meeting has been successful, and the other party will remember the first impression of you in the future.

People who are good at communication will always be well-groomed and smiling when they meet people for the first time, and use the first 4 minutes to their advantage.Of course, everyone's personality is different, some people are bold and forthright, while others are reserved and reticent.However, it is not difficult to make a good impression within the first 4 minutes.After all, these short 4 minutes are fleeting and extremely common.Everyone can make a good first impression just by keeping a smile on their face and a friendly demeanor.

A good first impression is an invisible key to open the door of communication. It can be said that "a good beginning is half the battle."

559. Building Good Relationships with Old Classmates

As the saying goes: "Ten years of classmates and half a lifetime."The friendship that develops from the love of classmates is pure and simple, and it may develop into a long-term and strong friendship in the future.In the modern world, classmate relationships are potential assets.Mr. Hu, who is studying in the MBA class of Ericsson China Academy of Fudan University, once said that there are two purposes for studying MBA, one is to learn Ericsson's first-class management experience, and the other is to make more friends.Mr. Hu believes that interpersonal relationships are very important for his marketing work, and real relationships are more useful than anything else.Those who study in this international MBA class are not ordinary people, and becoming friends with today's classmates means tomorrow's wealth.

Classmate relationships can sometimes really help at critical moments.However, the premise is that this classmate is your friend.The benefits here come from your own efforts.If you didn't have regular contact with your classmates after you separated from them, where did the friendship start?

Of course, some people may say that pure love between classmates should not be full of utilitarian taste.But in fact, students already have the obligation to help each other.In this day and age, there is nothing wrong with entering a school with a commercial or utilitarian purpose.Because of the close contact and mutual understanding between classmates, and because young people do not have conflicts of interest, most adults come together from all over the world, and there are few conflicts of interest with each other, so friendship is generally more reliable and purer. high.For businessmen, this is one of the most important external resources worth cherishing.

560. Build a good relationship with fellow countrymen

Chinese people have a very special feeling for their hometown.As the saying goes; "Love the house and the bird".If you love your hometown, you also love the people there.Therefore, there is a special fate among fellow villagers.Especially in today's society with a large population flow, it is difficult to make friends in an unfamiliar environment, so you might as well start with fellow villagers to open up the situation.

The relationship between villagers in China is very special, and it is also a very important interpersonal relationship.When it comes to certain practical interests, "the fat water does not flow into the fields of outsiders", and only people in the fellow villagers "get the moon first when they are close to the water".Since the concept of fellow countrymen is deeply ingrained in people's minds, it is enough to affect a person's development prospects, so why not use the fellowship to make more friends and broaden one's own way?
In a certain area outside the city, the best way to get in touch with many fellow villagers is the "hometown association". If you gain a firm foothold in the association and get along well with other fellow villagers, it is equivalent to making a network of friends.Perhaps, one day, you will find out how useful this network of friends is.

Fellow villagers are a huge asset. If you can make friends among fellow villagers, you will naturally feel a different kind of warmth when you need help.

561. Build a good relationship with colleagues

Peer relationships are indeed different from personal friends.Colleagues have cooperation and competition, especially when it comes to interests.

Sometimes peers are like a pole, allowing you to jump over impossible heights, like a 3D accelerator card, making the picture of your career more vivid and smooth.It is no exaggeration to say that sometimes being good friends with colleagues is more important than marrying a good wife or husband.

On weekdays, when making friends with colleagues, you must know how to understand the other party’s psychology. During the conversation, you must leave room for the other party, be a reserved person, and don’t make jokes about other people’s mistakes, and don’t just talk about unrealistic topics .

Respect the other person's decision. "I support you!" may seem like an extremely simple sentence, but it is very important in communicative behavior.Respect your friend's decision. Even if you can raise objections at any time and express your doubts, you must leave room for the other party to consider and make decisions, but never shirk your responsibilities after something happens.

Learn to empathize, think more from the perspective of the other party, execute one thing simply and effectively, and let the other party understand that you are the one who can really stand in the same trench with him and truly understand him.

There are no absolutely bad people in the same industry, even if they are bad people, he is willing to make friends with good people.Keep a normal mind, go with the flow, abide by the principles, and I believe you will find a group of friends who really hit it off among your peers.

562. Building Good Relations with Neighbors

As the saying goes: Distant relatives are not as good as close neighbors, and close neighbors are not as good as the opposite door.It means that when you live at home, if you encounter a big or small situation, the timely and convenient help from your neighbors is often better than the help from your relatives.Because the relatives are far away, the distant water can hardly quench the near thirst, so it is not as fast as the neighbors.This statement shows the importance of friendly relations with neighbors.

Neighborhood, if done well, is sometimes better than kinship.It is a network of contacts that businessmen can use successfully in society.In fact, there are many successful people who have benefited from the help of their neighbors.

Li Ka-shing, a rich man in Hong Kong today, lived a very poor life when he was a teenager. It was very difficult for his mother to raise several children. Out of sympathy, neighbors introduced Li Ka-shing to work in a plastic factory.For Li Ka-shing's family, this help was really an emergency solution, enabling him to help the family maintain their daily expenses, and this job laid the initial foundation for him to become a rich man in the world in the future.

The neighbor's help was timely and what this family urgently needed. They may not have thought that Li Ka-shing would use this as a starting point to start a future career, but they did provide him with such an opportunity.

The importance of neighborly relations lies in the fact that they can sometimes solve emergencies.

Therefore, if we want to ask for help from our neighbors, we should take the initiative to help our neighbors at an appropriate time.For example, ask about the other party's physical condition, career development, family situation, etc., or remember something the other party has said, and then say "you have said..." to the other party, so that the neighbors will feel this kind of concern.

(End of this chapter)