1000 Business Lessons Every Businessman Must Know

Chapter 76 Communication Precepts: Social Principles That Cannot Be Violated
610. Abstinence of Integrity and Full of Lies
In life, we always like people who are sincere and trustworthy, and hate people who lie and are dishonest.An honest man, no matter how many faults he may have, feels safe associating with him.Such people are sure to find happiness and achieve success in their careers.This is because if you treat people with sincerity, others will also treat you with sincerity.As long as a person treats others sincerely, he can easily win the cooperation of others.

There is nothing more important in dealing with people than gaining their trust.In your words and deeds, you must not give up this fundamental at all times.As long as this foundation exists, as long as others still trust you, there may be opportunities to make up for other defects. If you lose this foundation, others will no longer believe in you, and they will no longer want to work with you or deal with you. .Therefore, if you break your trust, you will pay a high price.Words don't count, and promises are not fulfilled, which means that you have lost the most basic human qualities.There is nothing without credibility. Today, when interpersonal communication is valued, the principle of honesty cannot be lost.

Integrity is a "long-term investment".Only by adhering to the principle of integrity for a long time can you establish and maintain your reputation and brand, and only by maintaining your reputation and brand can you achieve sustainable success.

611. Avoid Poor Analytical Skills and Take Scenes Seriously
In social occasions, you have to learn to say something polite and give others a little sweetness.Scene words can comfort people, like the effect of spring breeze, and thus communicate feelings, connect friendship, and promote interpersonal communication to achieve a harmonious state.But you can't be "intoxicated" by other people's words on the scene. You must know that sometimes it is not a kind of kindness to believe in other people's words, but a manifestation of dullness.

The attitude towards the words on the scene is: you have to believe it, and you can't believe it all.For example, if someone says some superficial words to you on certain occasions and in specific circumstances, in order to respond to a momentary situation, then you should be careful not to take such superficial words seriously.

It is not difficult to judge whether what the other party said is a scene. You can verify it several times afterwards.If the other party avoids meeting, or ambiguously, or changes the subject after speaking, then the other party must be talking about scenes. At this time, you should be more vigilant, and you should not blindly believe such scenes.

612. Refrain from being too blunt
The word "chest without a city" was originally used to describe people's innocence, and there is nothing wrong with being a simple person. Most people are also willing to associate with innocent people, because they feel more at ease in their hearts.However, society is complex and human nature is changeable. If the character is too simple and lacks scheming, it will be detrimental to oneself.

The personality of "deepness" is a kind of "organization" of human characteristics, a kind of "overall structure" formed by people in the course of their long-term life, and it is also a kind of "complex and stable integration". It is not an "artificial modification", but a true reflection of the "mature self" in his daily thoughts and behaviors.

If you want to be a "deep" boss, you must first change your mentality and enhance your understanding and comprehension of events.Faced with the same problem, mature people's views are rational, rather than just staying on the surface of things.

The real "deepness" is a kind of power that can be felt. This kind of power makes people strong, makes people not shrink back in the face of difficulties, not complacent in the face of success, and not inferior in the face of failure.This power affects you and affects your surroundings.

613. Don’t Understand Fangyuan, Treat All Discriminators

In real life, some people are square on the inside, some are smooth on the inside, some are square on the outside, and some are smooth on the outside.

From this perspective, the characters present four forms: inner square and outer square, inner square and outer circle, inner circle and outer circle, and inner circle and outer square.How to deal with these people with different personalities?The top winners who can afford to eat tend to adopt a realistic and pragmatic approach, that is, "sing what song on what mountain", and use different communication methods to communicate with different types of characters.

(1) Be honest and tactful with internal and external people.

(2) Be courteous to those who are round inside and round outside.

(3) Be careful with people who are inner circle and outer circle.

(4) Be flexible with people who are round inside and square outside.

The boss should combine the art of square circle with "following the rules" well, not only obey the rules, but also be tactful, not only have to handle all aspects of the relationship well, but also get the best benefit for himself.

614. Stop Having No Principles and Being a Bad Person
A common mistake some bosses make in social circles is trying to be perfect in the eyes of others.Helping out with big and small tasks, taking care of big and small things, and doing big and small jobs, such people think that doing things for the other party wholeheartedly will definitely win the other party's appreciation and make the relationship between them more harmonious, but this is not the case in fact.

In fact, "good" and "bad good" require a degree of emphasis in dealing with people.Those who are good at doing things always know what they are doing, and they will never shoot at will without calculation, otherwise it is called random shooting.Always pay attention to the quantitative boundary that is consistent with your own interests, never exceed the limit, and never let things develop to the opposite.As far as the difference between high and low mental strength is concerned, it is not whether you can do something, but whether you can do what you should do.If you do something you should not do, even if it is very clever, it can only prove that your mental strength is low;Only in the face of complicated events can one be a wise man who clearly knows what should be done and what should not be done, and adjusts one's behavior accordingly.

615. Stop Love Going to Extremes and Refuse to Suffer
In the process of interacting with others, some people are unwilling to suffer a loss, and they can't suffer a loss. Once they find that they have suffered a disadvantage, they will immediately go to war, which is unwise.If you associate with people with this attitude, I am afraid that it will not be long before your friends will stay away from you.

On the surface, suffering a loss is indeed a kind of loss, but there is a gain for every loss, and sometimes your "small loss" is in exchange for a "big gain".Facing losses calmly and accepting them is the key to success.

Sometimes a little extra support not only wins the gratitude of others, but also wins their trust.Suffering is not a loss of interests in the ordinary sense, but more of a kind of tolerance, a kind of giving.This kind of indifference in the face of gains and losses, and the courage to judge the situation is the demeanor of a general.

We have heard the story of the friendship between Guan and Bao for a long time: others said that Guan Zhong was taking advantage of Bao Shuya, but Bao Shuya spoke for Guan Zhong everywhere and recommended Guan Zhong as prime minister.Regardless of gain or loss, Bao Shuya made a lifelong friend and found a general for the country.Therefore, suffering is a blessing and should be regarded as the necessary social wisdom and rules for everyone.

616. Abstain from talking too much and leave no room for it
People with strong principles and poor flexibility in communication tend to be more extreme in character and emotion, and as long as people are extreme, they tend to go to extremes.Therefore, some bosses often do things without leaving room, sometimes they talk too much, and they love to fight for the strong and the weak when getting along with others; they only want to be the first, and they don’t want to be the second. room for maneuver.

It is better not to go to extremes in the communication between people.Getting acquainted is easy and getting along is difficult, and it is even more difficult to maintain a long-term relationship with each other, whether it is between friends, colleagues, or subordinates and superiors.

If you leave room for others, you can't speak too much or too much, and don't say serious and hurtful things.Too full of words is like filling a glass with water, no more water will drop in, and it will overflow; it is also like filling a balloon to the full, no more air can be filled, and it will overflow if it is filled again. exploded.If there is space for people to speak, they will not be unable to get off the stage because of "accidents", so they can turn around calmly.

Therefore, some bosses prefer to use these words when facing inquiries from reporters, such as: "possible, try, maybe, research, consider, evaluate, seek opinions from all parties..." These are not definite words, the reason why they In this way, it is to leave a little space to accommodate "accidents", otherwise I will say that I am dead all at once, and it will backfire, isn't it embarrassing?
617. Stop being overly emotional

Apart from various other reasons, Meng Huo lost to Zhuge Liang, straightforward nature, lack of brains, and being blinded by emotions are also important factors.People who have no chest, are happy and angry, impatient, outspoken, and talkative are often called "paozizi".Bosses with a "cannonball" personality are often unpopular.

If you can't control your emotions, your whole life will be victimized by emotional impulses from time to time.Emotions often only start from maintaining the self-esteem and interests of the emotional subject, and do not consider things complicated, far-reaching, and resourceful. As a result, they often put themselves in a very disadvantageous position or are used by others.

People who are not good at controlling their emotions are often "whatever I think in my heart, I will express it on my face", "say whatever I think of", "I have a straight temper", speak bluntly, regardless of black and white, and regardless of the occasion.Simply use your own concepts and habits to measure other people's attitudes and behaviors, and immediately blame others when you encounter something that is not to your liking.Doing so will not only hurt others, but yourself as well.

618. Quit Not Knowing Forbearance, Being Too Showy
As the saying goes: "If a tree is beautiful in the forest, the wind will destroy it; if it is piled up on the shore, the current will be turbulent; if it is higher than people, the crowd will criticize it."Be careful when getting along with others, overdoing and ostentation will inevitably cause dissatisfaction on the other side.No one wants to be with people who are better than themselves in every way.

Xue Daoheng, a famous talent in the Sui and Tang Dynasties, was able to speak "Zuo Shi Chunqiu Biography" when he was 13 years old.In the fifth year of Daye, he was called to Beijing. At that time, Emperor Yang Guang of the Sui Dynasty was in power. In order to show the level of his writing, Xue Daoheng presented "Ode to the Emperor Gaozu". Emperor Yang was very unhappy when he read it, and said: " It’s just that the diction is beautiful.” Once, Emperor Yang chatted with his ministers, saying that he was so talented that he looked down on the world’s literati, and the doctor took the opportunity to say that Xue Daoheng was conceited in talent, did not listen to instructions, and whether he had the heart of a king.So Yangdi ordered Xue to be hanged.

It seems that Xue Daoheng offended many people because he didn't know how to hide his secrets and protect himself wisely, not only Emperor Yang of the Sui Dynasty, but also the censor doctor who slandered him, and maybe even other ministers. Where did he plead with Emperor Yangdi?

Just as Hong Yingming said in the book "Cai Gen Tan": "Hiding ingenuity in clumsiness, using obscurity to make light, keeping clarity in turbidity, using bending as extension, the pot of true experience in the world, and the three caves of hiding."

619. Forget Others Are Frustrated, You Are Proud

Remember to get along with people-don't talk about your success in front of the loser.If your business is booming and you're quite proud of it, it's not easy for you not to talk about it. What high-spirited person isn't like that?So there's nothing to blame for that.

But when you talk about your pride, you must focus on the occasion and the target. You can talk in the public place of the speech, talk to your employees, enjoy the admiration they cast on you, or talk to other proud people. You enjoy it together. The joy of mood and the joy of life, but don’t talk about it to the frustrated person, because the frustrated person is the most vulnerable and suspicious at this time. Your talk is full of irony and mockery to him, which makes the frustrated person feel uncomfortable. People feel that you "look down" on him.

Of course, some people don't care, you say what you say, and he listens to him, but there are not many people who are so bold and unrestrained.Therefore, the elation you are talking about will be a kind of injury to most frustrated people, and only those who have tasted this pain will know it.

Therefore, don't talk about your pride in front of frustrated people. On the one hand, it is due to moral considerations.Of course, it's another matter if you don't know that the other party is in frustration.Another aspect is the consideration of interpersonal relationship.

(End of this chapter)