In the end, we all cried

Chapter 187 Chapter 190

He sat on the bed with his legs curled tightly, and then looked out the window blankly.

A gloomy sky, a gloomy heart.

Lin Qiuyue came in many times, but in the end she just shook her head and went out without saying anything. I knew she wanted to persuade me, but I didn't want to hear it.

It doesn't make sense anymore, I don't even want children anymore.Without heart, how to give love to children?
Maybe, I can't give it.

I am afraid that what will be given to him later is not love but hurt, I am afraid that his childhood will be unhappy, I am afraid that his life will be the same as mine, I am afraid that he will ask his father... I will not be able to answer.

I'm selfish and have always been selfish.

After all, this heart full of holes was taken away by him, and then it became more and more hollow and boring.

I selfishly don't pay attention to everything, selfishly lock myself up, selfishly greedy for the tenderness that no longer remains.The photo in my hand has become a little blurred due to multiple frictions, but even so, I still can't stop, because this is the only one left of him.

We have very few photos, basically only this one photo is the complete picture of him, now I regret not falling in love with him earlier, not discovering his heart earlier, and making him so lonely Long.Now I know how painful it is to have my heart taken away by the one I love.

The red scratches on the wrist are very conspicuous and ugly. These are the masterpieces of the past few days. Even though it has stopped now, the desire to die is still sprouting in my mind.
The outside world is already chaotic, even if it is not on the surface, it is still obvious inside.Yu Yuanxi hasn't come back once in the past few days. I know he is busy with Lu's follow-up operations, after all, it belongs to Lu Yu.

In fact, I saw the tears in his eyes clearly in the church that day, but they kept spinning in the red eye sockets, which were not obvious.

Lu Yu, do you know that you have made all of us lose our motivation.

The clock on the wall showed that it was early morning, but I still didn't feel sleepy, and I was destined to be sleepless again tonight.

"Click"

The door was pushed open suddenly, but I didn't look up. The voice should be Yu Yuanxi or Lin Qiuyue, but it doesn't matter who it is, I'm not interested anyway.

I still looked up at the crescent moon in the sky and blinked my eyes for a while.The sound of footsteps next to the bed stopped, followed by the sound of something being placed on the bed.Listening to the sound, my eyelashes trembled for a while, but soon returned to the sluggish state.

"This is Ayu's diary for these years. I put it here. I'm not here to persuade you, but after all, I can't see everyone around me leaving. Think about it yourself."

The words shut, and the footsteps left.

I didn't have a slight reaction until the door was closed again, and then I turned around stiffly and looked at the door.

Yu Yuanxi, thank you, I understand.

He looked down at the twilight notebook beside the bed, and then gently picked it up.There are three books in total, all of the same style, but the old and the new are different.

Min Lip opened the somewhat yellowed notebook, and some immature handwriting quickly came into my eyes.There are a lot of pinyin on each page, and it looks like it was written by a child. It should have been written when he was very young.

The small figure stubbornly held the pencil in his hand to write and draw, but his expression was very serious.Looking at the diary in my hand, I laughed for the first time in a long time, not because of anything else, just because each entry was childish.

Cute and heart-wrenching.

One night, I read all three books without missing a word.Later, tears ran down his cheeks.

It turns out that some love existed a long time ago, but there are too many obstacles to express.I used to envy Lin Qiuyue for someone who loved her throughout her youth, but now I know that there is someone who loved me all my life and used all his strength to protect me, just for me to be free from worries.

Holding the notebook, I couldn't cry myself.Lu Yu, I will live a good life and live with your love and the love of my child.

Yu Yuanxi, you succeeded.

The sky turned pale, and the day started anew, and my life also started anew.

Lu Yu, wait for me under the Nine Springs, we will meet again in a hundred years.

Next time, let me love you.

(End of this chapter)