To communicate is to speak well

Chapter 28 Sincere Praise: The Best Way to Communicate (1)
Everyone likes to be complimented.A famous American social activist once put forward a principle: "Give people a good name." If you can satisfy the ego of others with sincere respect and sincere praise, then others may become happier, more understanding and more willing to cooperate cooperate.

learn to praise others

Everyone has their own strengths and achievements, and they all hope to be affirmed and praised by others.Some advantages are often innate, such as someone's good looks, high IQ and so on.Therefore, the affirmation of other people's merits and achievements not only will not belittle one's own position, but also can make others realize the excellent qualities one possesses, thus gaining praise from others.

During the Warring States period, the son Chonger and the son Xiaobai competed for the throne, Bao Shuya assisted Chonger, and Guan Zhong advised the son Xiaobai, and finally the son Chonger became the king of Qi.Chong'er wanted to worship Bao Shuya as his prime minister, but Bao Shuya said: "If you want to rule Qi, you can let me be your prime minister; if you want to rule the world, you must worship Guan Zhong as your prime minister." overlord.Although Bao Shuya was not as talented as Guan Zhong, he could frankly appreciate Guan Zhong's advantages and strengths, and strongly recommended him, which won the praise of the world and left his name in history.

In the face of other people's achievements, we should first understand that the achievements are earned by others with hard work and sweat. We should frankly appreciate the fruits of other people's labor and affirm them.At the same time, review yourself, ask for advice with an open mind, and learn from the hard-working spirit of others.Actively asking others to teach you the essentials of study and work is not only a high praise for other people's achievements, but also can urge you to move on.Doing so is not only conducive to the improvement of one's own technical level, but also conducive to the improvement of the level of life.This is the thing that kills two birds with one stone, so why not do it?

It takes considerable self-confidence and courage to frankly praise the merits and achievements of others.

In daily life, we often encounter situations where others are better than us, but we can’t say words of praise. The main reason is that we lack self-confidence and feel that we are not as good as the other party, so we lose our psychological balance and don’t have the courage to applaud the other party.Sometimes, one either feels "sorry"; or thinks that compared with others, the result is self-evident, so there is no need to do anything extra;As a result, not only lost an opportunity to frankly praise the strengths and achievements of others, but also lost an opportunity to abandon inferiority complex and timidity.

As we all know, Michael Jordan is a super basketball elite, but he told others that his teammate Pippen was more talented than him in shooting three-pointers, and that Pippen was better than himself in dunking.Pippen is obviously the most promising rookie to surpass Jordan, but Jordan praises him everywhere.In this regard, on the one hand, it reflects his courage to challenge himself, and on the other hand, it is also a manifestation of Jordan's self-confidence.

Therefore, in life, if you meet an opponent in chess, you might as well adopt the strategy of "Wu and Yue are in the same boat", get along with your opponent friendly, congratulate him on his merits and achievements, or send a bouquet of flowers; on the other hand, strive to catch up.

Japan has used the weapon of "praise" in the economic field.For example, Japan's "God of Sales" Yuan Yiping said when he explained his sales secrets: "The secret of sales lies in the study of human nature, and the key to studying human nature is to understand people's needs. I found that the desire for praise is the most persistent in everyone. , the deepest needs.” To generously praise the strengths and achievements of others, you must accept the strengths and achievements of others frankly.

Franklin has a famous saying: "A good attitude is to the relationship between business and society what oil is to a machine."

Therefore, if you are a person of noble character, you might as well try to praise a classmate or colleague who is competing with you from the bottom of your heart, and even recommend an employee who may be above you to the boss. A higher level of praise.

Five Basic Ways to Compliment Others

Praising others also needs to pay attention to the method.If you don't master certain skills and don't judge the situation when praising others, even sincere praise will not achieve the expected end of the class.

There are many ways to praise, and now I will describe some of the commonly used methods.

1. Direct compliments

Praise is a synonym for praise.Directly expressing one's envy to others is the most commonly used method.When old friends met, they said: "Ah! You are so energetic today!" The young wife helped her husband tie his tie and said, "You look much better today." An ordinary thoughtful word, a heartfelt compliment , It will make people happy for a day and double their confidence.

2. Reverse praise method

It is difficult for everyone to accept accusations and criticism.It is unimaginable to turn accusation into praise, and it is even more difficult to really do it, but the famous entrepreneur Rockefeller did it.

Rockefeller was an attractive entrepreneur who rallied many talented people around him.Once, Edward Bev, an employee of the company, mishandled his work and made a wrong transaction in South Africa, losing $100 million.Rockefeller didn't blame Bev after he knew about it, not to mention that things had already happened, so what's the use of accusing?So he found something to praise and congratulated Bev for saving 60% of his investment.Bev was very moved and worked harder for the company ever since.

3. Accidental compliments

Unexpected compliments, surprises.Because the content of the compliment is beyond the expectations of the other party, it will greatly arouse the other party's favor.Carnegie wrote a story of his experience in "The Weakness of Human Nature":
One day, he went to the post office to send a registered letter, and the clerk's service attitude was very poor and impatient.When Carnegie handed the letter to her for weighing, he said, "I wish I had beautiful hair like yours." Hearing this, the clerk looked at Carnegie in surprise, then smiled, and his service attitude became more enthusiastic up.

4. Affirmation and praise

Everyone has a psychological need for praise, especially in certain events and occasions.For example, publishing an article in a newspaper, successfully completing a thesis, and passing the appraisal of a project that has been painstakingly studied for many years, etc., all hope to be affirmed by others.At this time, giving sincere praise without losing the opportunity will make the person being praised extremely happy.

Everyone knows that Zhang Haidi was invited by Japanese friends to Japan to attend a speech concert specially held for her.On stage, she introduced herself for the first time in self-taught Japanese and sang several songs of her own composition.After she finished speaking, how she hoped to be praised, encouraged and praised by others!At this time, Mr. Akiyama, a famous Japanese writer, translator and one of the hosts, came to the stage and hugged her tightly, saying: "The speech is so good, we all understand it!" Zhang Haidi was deeply moved by this short praise. It made her have a clear understanding of herself when she needed to understand her own value most, and enhanced her self-confidence.

5. Targeted praise

When praising others, setting a goal for him can often make him firm in his belief and fight for this goal.

Football coach Vince Lombardi is a legendary figure.During training, he discovered that a young man named Jerry Kramer had quick thinking and more shots.He is very optimistic about this young man.One day, he patted Jerry Kramer on the shoulder lightly and said: "One day, you will become the best defender of the national football team." Later, Kramer really became the main player of the national football team ."That word of encouragement from Lombardi had a huge impact on my life," he later recalled.

Characteristics of Proper Praise

It is a joy to be praised.Correct praise can make people feel harmony among people, appreciate the warmth of the world, and enable good spiritual communication between the praiser and the praised.

But not all compliments produce a good exchange of hearts.Hypocritical praise, exaggerated praise, unavoidable praise and blatantly derogatory praise will not only fail to make the person being praised get real pleasure, but will also cause obstacles to interpersonal communication.

(End of this chapter)