To communicate is to speak well

Chapter 7
6. Pay attention to details and do what you like

A friend had a strange habit of always writing dense words on the back of other people's business cards.It's not so much for him to sort out interpersonal information or not to forget each other, but rather to prepare for the next meeting.In other words, record the things that the other party is interested in, and when you meet again, you can provide the "information" that the other party cares about as a gift.Even if you only meet someone once, if you can remember the interest of the other person, such as fishing, when you meet for the second or third time, you will continue to provide knowledge or interesting things in this area, so as to show your love for the other person. If the interest is very concerned, it will definitely make the other party have a great impression.

Some people may think that this approach is too utilitarian, but it is definitely not the case.Because this kind of practice is indeed out of concern for the other party, not to mention that it is really beneficial to the other party.If you can always maintain this attitude, you will eventually be able to turn common topics into your own.In other words, judging from the long-term goal, this kind of practice can become a powerful weapon for self-expression, and can quickly gain the favor and trust of the other party.

7. A warm smile

When we communicate with people, whether we agree with them or disagree with them, we should not put on a cold face, because no one wants to talk to someone with a cold attitude, even if it is out of some helplessness that we cannot talk , In the bottom of my heart, I have already developed resentment.Just imagine, can such a conversation have a good result?Therefore, we must learn to smile in communication and learn to give warmth to others with a smile.If the person is really annoying, then you can not talk to him or avoid, putting on a cold face is never helpful.There was such a story:
Before the plane took off, a passenger asked the flight attendant to pour him a glass of water to take medicine.The stewardess said politely: "Sir, for your safety, please wait a moment, and I will bring you the water immediately after the plane enters a stable flight state, okay?" After 15 minutes, the plane had already entered Steady flight status.Suddenly, the passenger service bell rang quickly, and the stewardess suddenly realized: Oops, because I was too busy, I forgot to pour water for that passenger.The stewardess came to the cabin and saw that it was the passenger who rang the service bell.She carefully brought the water to the passenger, and said with a smile: "Sir, I'm really sorry. Due to my negligence, I delayed the time for you to take the medicine. I am very sorry." The passenger raised his left hand, Pointing to the watch, she said, "What's the matter, is there anyone who serves you like this?" No matter how she explained, this picky passenger refused to forgive her negligence.

In the following time, in order to make up for her mistakes, every time she went to the cabin to serve a passenger, the stewardess would deliberately walk up to the passenger and ask him with a smile if he needed water or other help.However, the passenger remained angry and always acted uncooperative.

When arriving at the destination, the passenger asked the stewardess to send him the guestbook.Obviously, he wanted to complain about the flight attendant.When the plane landed safely and all the passengers left one after another, the stewardess was very nervous and thought it was over. Unexpectedly, when she opened the guestbook, she was surprised to find that what the passenger wrote in the notebook was not a complaint letter. , on the contrary, it is a warm letter of commendation: "During the whole process, your sincere apology, especially your twelve smiles, deeply moved me, so that I finally decided to send the letter of complaint to Write a commendation letter. Your service quality is very high, and if I have the opportunity next time, I will take your flight again."

After reading the letter, the stewardess was so excited that tears filled her eyes.

8. Modesty is a virtue

The reason why humility is respected is that it is a virtue of life and a magic weapon for success in career.However, in real life, humility is not something that can be achieved if one wants to do it. For example, some people have been praised by their leaders and colleagues, and they really want to be humble in their hearts, but they can't find an appropriate way to express it.In the end, they were either at a loss, blushing, and hesitating; or they said some stereotypes of "attributing to the collective and the people", which sounded false.

So, in social occasions, in different times, different environments, and different atmospheres, how to express your modesty in different ways in order to leave a good impression on people?
(1) Transfer object.If praise or praise makes you feel embarrassed in front of everyone, you may wish to find a way to divert people's attention, "get away" skillfully, and "graft" the praise or praise to others, but you must have a basis, otherwise It will also appear empty and fake.

(2) A clever metaphor.It is desirable to be frank and modest, but if not done well, it will give people a false feeling.Especially between two people, if you just say something like "you are much better than me", it is easy to be ridiculed.In such a situation, you might as well use a metaphor to subtly express your modesty.

(3) Self-deprecating grades.Any praise and praise cannot be without reason, or because of something, or because of your achievements in a certain aspect.At this time, you might as well sketch lightly like a painting, but see the magic in the indifferent.

(4) Master the measure.In the face of other people's praise, if you say that you are worthless, not only will you not be humble, but it will give people a feeling of arrogance.As the saying goes: "Excessive modesty equals pride." In real life, situations like this are not uncommon.Therefore, modesty must master a certain measure.

(5) Solicit criticism.In the face of people's praise, sincerely soliciting everyone's criticism is the most effective way to show your humility.But pay attention to moderation, otherwise humility will become false.

In our social life, we can constantly create ourselves and learn humbly according to different occasions, different environments, and different communication partners.

As long as you are open-minded and sincere, strive to pursue a humble character, maintain a calm and honest attitude when talking, and respect each other, you will definitely become a respected person, and the weight of your words will increase accordingly.

always remember to say thank you

In any Chinese dictionary, there are very few words that can immediately win a person's favor as soon as they are uttered, which can turn enemies into friends, soothe selfishness, and improve self-esteem.However, the word "thank you" has this magic power.But "thank you" is so often underestimated, or overlooked for being so simple, that many of us miss out on good people because of it.We often hear complaints like, "I don't mind doing all this as long as he can say 'thank you' every time"; or, "I've done so much for her and she won't even say 'thank you' Say".

Saying "thank you" is the easiest and surest way to succeed at work and gain cooperation or friendship.

So, in communication, how to say thank you?There are many ways to express gratitude.However, the word, or the form in which it is contained, must be spoken or written down, no matter how, such as returning with flowers, lunch.Here are some ways to spread this humble but absolutely important message.

1. Say thank you
Tell him what he did for you is very important to you, and explain how it helped you: "I really appreciate your help with my studies."

2. Give praise
Let him know that you think what he did for you is special and worth cherishing: "Thank you for the coffee, I think I will remember it forever."

3. Give back
Tell him that you appreciate what he has done for you, and that you are ready to reciprocate the kindness: "I appreciate you returning my calls during the advisory meeting, and please feel free to find me in the future whenever you need me."

4. Write a note to say thank you
Saying "thank you" is helpful, but writing it down is even better.So why not write a handwritten note expressing your thanks.

5. Phone Acknowledgments
As in, "I'm just calling to thank you..."

6. Give a gift
Send a gift with a note.It doesn't matter what you give as long as it expresses your appreciation very appropriately.For example, a boss invited his secretary to watch a first-class golf game.To reciprocate, she bought a unique gift—a miniature model of a golf club—and wrote him a thank you note in a gift box, much to the delight of the boss.

7. "Thank you"

Tell someone how much you appreciate what he has done for you, and the words will reach the ears of the person who helped you in the end: "Wang Cong is such a nice man. He helped me arrange that meeting. If I didn't I really don't know what to do with his help." When your thanks are passed through someone's mouth to his ears, it will definitely add a lot of color.

8. Offer to help
When you're with him, offer to help him with his work, such as helping to proofread a long-form story: "I'll do it for you. Don't be shy, you've helped me too many times."

9. Treat guests to dinner
Invite the person you're thanking to lunch or dinner, and be sure to say you're thanking him for his help.If you are inviting a married person, you should also invite his or her spouse.

10. Return donations
If an environmental scientist has carefully reported one of your papers, you may as well donate a sum of money to his beloved environmental protection cause. This may be the best way to thank him, but don't forget to say "thank you".You can call or write a note to thank him and tell him what you did.He must be delighted with what you have done and what you have done.

(End of this chapter)