learn to speak, learn etiquette

Chapter 23 Understanding Entertainment Banquet Etiquette (1)
No one says they can't eat or drink; but it is not easy to eat and drink in a civilized manner.Dining etiquette is about these issues.

[-]. Banquet Etiquette

Entertaining guests with banquets is a regular activity in foreign exchanges.It is not ordinary eating and drinking, but an important form of interpersonal communication, so etiquette occupies a pivotal position in banquets.

At present, there are generally four ways to entertain internationally, namely banquets, receptions, tea parties and working meals.

A brief description is as follows:
The banquet is a more grand dinner, which can be held in the morning, noon, and evening respectively, and the dinner is the most grand.There are three types of banquets.First, the state banquet: it is the highest-level banquet held for national celebrations or to welcome foreign heads of state and heads of government.The national flag will be hoisted in the banquet hall, and the national anthem and banquet music will be played by a military band.Second, a formal banquet: Except that the national flag is not hung, the national anthem is not played, and the attendees are different, other aspects are similar to the state banquet.It has certain requirements for the clothing of guests and waiters, as well as the number of dishes, drinks and dishes.Third, casual banquets: that is, informal banquets.A family banquet is a form of light banquet, often served by the housewife herself, and the family entertains the guests together, which seems cordial and natural.

The reception is a relatively free form of banquet that only prepares some food and drinks, does not prepare meals, and does not arrange seats.There are two common buffets and cocktail parties.Buffet is also called buffet.It can be held indoors or outdoors, and participants can sit, stand, and move about freely.The dishes are mainly cold food, and the wine and dishes can be taken by yourself, or you can ask the waiter to deliver them.A cocktail party is called a reception for short.It mainly serves wine and drinks, and some snacks are prepared.Participants can enter or leave at any time during the period, and are free to move around and communicate freely.

A tea party is a simpler form of hospitality.It is usually held in the living room, no seats are arranged, and guests are invited to chat while tasting tea.Dining at work is a form of informal banquet that is often used in modern life. It does not invite spouses and other people that have nothing to do with work.Some work meals require participants to pay for themselves.During the meal, everyone can talk while eating without being overly restrained.

What kind of banquet is better depends mainly on local customs.Usually the standard of formal banquet is high, but the number of people should not be too many.Buffet and cocktail parties are simple in form and the number of people is not limited.And ladies' gatherings mostly adopt the form of tea party.

Before the banquet, you must first determine a series of questions such as the purpose, name, participants, time and place to be invited.When considering these issues, we must take into account the influence of factors such as political climate, cultural traditions, and ethnic habits.

Most of the formal banquets require invitations to be sent out, and those that have been verbally agreed in advance must be reissued, which is a requirement in etiquette.Invitation cards should be made of high-quality paper (7×9 or smaller), handwritten or formally printed, accompanied by a festive stamp and an envelope of the same level. Invitations or envelopes must not be typed with a typewriter—even if they are commercial Not even an invitation.Don't use the postage-paid method, and send it without even posting a stamp.Formal invitation cards should usually be accompanied by a small card with "please reply". If you have to ask the guests to fill in their names, or simply fill them in for them, and attach a return envelope.

The more you can get the attention of your invitees, the more likely they are to attend.Please note the following principles:

·If someone has to come to the appointment from other places, send out the invitation card two to four months in advance.

·Invitation cards should also be issued three days in advance (preferably one week in advance) for routine business lunch meetings.

·For a meal or cocktail party, send out invitation cards two to four weeks in advance.

After the guests are properly invited, the seats of the guests must be arranged.At present, there are mostly Chinese round table banquets in China, and there are two kinds of seating arrangements: Chinese style and Western style.The two methods are different, but the basic principles are the same.In general, the following principles must be observed:
1 Take the right as respect and the left as humble.Therefore, if the male and female hosts sit side by side, the male is on the left and the female is on the right, and the right is the most important.If there are two tables for the banquet, and the hostess and hostesses host separately, the right table will be the largest.The same is true for the arrangement of guest seats, that is, the right side of the host and hostess is the largest, and the left side is the smallest.

2 The person with the highest position or status is respected, and the higher person sits on the seat, and is positioned according to the level of the position, that is, the level of the official rank, and cannot be surpassed.

3 If the position or status is the same, the ethical positioning of the official position must be followed.

4 Ladies regard their husbands as the most valuable, and their ranking order is the same as that of their husbands.However, if the invited object is a female guest, and she is the guest of honor in the first place, her husband may not necessarily be in the second place at this time. For example, if you are the chairman of a large company, you must rank after important officials, and a husband may not be as expensive as a wife.

5 If there are government officials, leaders of social groups and social virtuous persons attending the banquet, the order of government officials, social group leaders and social virtuous persons should be followed. This is the principle.

6 Europeans and Americans regard the banquet as the best occasion for socializing, so the seat adopts the principle of separate seats: that is, men and women are seated separately, and men and women are separated from each other when ranking.

Husband and wife, father and daughter, mother and child, siblings, etc. must be separated.

If there are foreign guests present, the Chinese and foreign guests will sit together.

7 Abide by social ethics, seniors and young are orderly, teachers and students are different, especially in informal banquet occasions.If a certain gentleman is already a minister and a certain professor is his teacher, in an informal setting, a certain professor cannot be ranked under a certain minister, and a certain gentleman who is an expensive minister would not dare to surpass him on such occasions.

The last seat of 8 seats cannot accommodate female guests.

9 If the host and hostess invite their immediate superiors to the banquet, and if the manager invites the chairman, the host and hostess must humbly let the host and hostess take the honorable seat and change to the second seat, and do not overstep.

Before the banquet starts, the host should greet the guests at the door, and sometimes a few other key personnel will accompany the host in line to welcome the guests. After the guests arrive, the host and the guests shake hands and greet each other, and then the staff will lead the guests to the lounge for a rest.In the lounge, a person of corresponding status should take care of the guests and serve them with drinks.If there is no lounge, guests can be invited to enter the banquet hall directly, but they cannot be seated immediately.

After the guest of honor arrives, the host should accompany him into the lounge to meet other guests.When the host accompanies the guest of honor into the banquet hall, all the staff can take their seats, and the banquet can begin at this time.

If a formal speech is arranged, it should be done after the hot dishes and before the desserts. The host speaks first, followed by the guest of honor.You can also speak on the spot.After eating the fruit, the host and the guest of honor leave their seats, and the banquet comes to an end.If there is a formal speech, the two parties should exchange it in advance and arrange an interpreter.

When Western guests arrive at the banquet hall, there will be a special person in charge of roll call.At the banquet, the hostess is the first host. When people sit, eat and leave their seats, the hostess' actions should prevail, and they should not be preempted.When the guests leave, the host should send them to the door and say goodbye warmly.On more formal occasions, people who lined up at the door to welcome guests should also line up at the door at this time, shaking hands with the guests one by one to say goodbye, and expressing farewell.

Second, banquet etiquette

reply to invitation

While you would rather attend an event with your manager or a very important client than with a colleague or supplier, your decision shouldn't affect your ability to respond to invitations, and time and decorum should work for either party.

The most important words on a polite invitation card are "Reply Quickly" (RSVP). "Please reply quickly" is not "let us know if you'll be coming" but "let us know if you're coming or not".Failure to respond to an invitation in a timely manner is considered a grave mistake (unless you have made a small monetary contribution to the invitation).Of course, if there is only the words "Please inform if you cannot come" on the invitation card, you do not need to reply if you want to participate, but you must let the host know if you cannot go.

Informal and verbal invitations can be handled informally.But if you meet the host on the street, you still need to say: "Hi, thank you very much for your invitation, we will attend!" instead of using RSVP.When responding to an informal invitation, call the host directly or write a personal note.

When responding to a formal invitation, please use official letterhead, whether you will attend or not—unless the RSVP card came with the invitation.

Quote the words from the invitation card and clearly state that you will or will not attend, but do not have to explain in detail why you are not attending.Be sure to affix a stamp (preferably a memento) rather than replying postage-paid.Your responses can be one-on-one or one-on-one.If you invite someone else, you should also write his name and explain the relationship between them.

accept an invitation:
It is an honor to accept your invitation to dinner on Saturday, November 11th at 5pm.

Examples of inability to attend:
Li Mingqi and his wife have other appointments in advance, so I am sorry that I cannot attend your dinner on Saturday, November 11th at 5:8 pm.

Respond to invitations from others—whether formal or informal—within 24 hours (up to 3 days) if possible.The host has invested considerable money and time in carefully planning this event. If you are not sure whether you will be able to attend, you should let the host know immediately and let him or her know when you can confirm the answer.Make sure the date you reply back won't interfere with the meal arrangements.

Do not cancel invitations to which you have promised to attend unless you encounter an emergency.If you have to cancel it as a last resort, it is best to call or write a note to the owner yourself instead of asking someone else to call it for you.It is bad manners to have someone take your place, or to bring an uninvited guest.

If the invited person cannot reply the RSVP card in time when he is out, his secretary (assistant, family member, etc.) can call or send back the RSVP card to inform the host first.If the invitee is familiar with the host, the secretary should explain on the RSVP card the reason why the supervisor will be absent: "Vice President Du is unable to reply in person because she is away on business and will come back after your meeting. She asked me to Thank you for your warm invitation!"

Like RSVP, "thank you" is a wonderful word.The content of the thank you letter does not have to be too long, but it must be delivered to the owner.Delays of more than 48 hours are unforgivable mistakes.

Of course, if it is a general office event, such as a summer picnic or a holiday dance, no RSVP card is required.You going?Possibly, will you drink?Maybe not.Should you stay long?not necessarily.Just go, have fun, and let everyone see you.

Do not go to the meeting empty-handed
If you're invited to someone's wedding, anniversary, or prom, etc., a gift is an absolute must, even if you can't make it.The value of the gift is not affected by attendance.If you don't receive any thank you cards within 90 days, make a phone call to see if you did receive a gift.In case the ceremony is cancelled, you should get your gift back.Also, if these events are held for you, flowers should be sent to the hostess before the ball begins.

It's become customary for people to give away household items if they're attending a dinner party or similar at home, especially during the holidays.These things don't have to be expensive, like a good bag of coffee.But it must be handed over to the host or hostess upon arrival.Don't ask the host or hostess to unwrap on the spot, unless it's something they can use on the spot, if you want to share in their unwrapping fun, wrap it properly and tie a happy bow on it or put the gift in a decorative container .

You can also send gifts by post or courier, preferably directly to the recipient's home (especially wine).While this kind of personal delivery is sweet, it is not suitable for commercial gifts, unless you are invited to a specific party.

Enclose a handwritten greeting card (not a business card) from you and place it in an envelope.

You don't have to give a gift if you can't attend, but if you send flowers or champagne on the day or the day before, the host will think you are decent and understanding.A short note was attached to the gift, saying "I wish you and all the guests a pleasant evening".The note does not have to mention your absence.

High Edge Gifts Worth Considering

· Gold and silver pens.

· Flowers or potted plants (yes! women can send flowers to men)
·Exquisite and beautiful notebook or calendar.

·Engraved key ring.

· Exquisite bookmarks.

·A basket of exquisite coffee, tea, cheese or fruit.

· A bottle of champagne, favorite wine.

·Give some tennis balls to tennis players.

·Hooks, rigging boxes or gear for those who love fishing.

• Special key rings or timers for joggers.

· Goggles, gloves or hats for skiers.

· Odometer or gloves for cyclists.

The wrong gift
· Anything that is too expensive.

· Obscene, satirical, sexual, or extremely personal items.

·animal.

· Alcohol for the teetotalers, sugar for dieters, etc.

· Clothes (wallet or tote bag are acceptable).

· Oversized or fragile items for people who need to fly.

·Perfume or cologne, unless you know the brand of scent that the other person likes.

· Anything of low quality.

Be careful when attending a banquet
(1) Before attending the banquet, it is best to freshen up and dress up, and at least put on a set of clean clothes that are in season.Everyone goes to the banquet radiantly, which will make the whole banquet have a more solemn atmosphere, which will make the host happy.It is most taboo to wear work clothes and go to a banquet with a tired face.This can make the host feel disrespected.

(2) Attend the banquet on time according to the time indicated on the invitation.Neither be late nor more than 15 minutes early.In foreign countries, people who go to dinner in advance will be laughed at: too eager to eat!
(3) When you arrive, greet the host first, and then say hello to other guests.

(4) Prepare business cards in advance.When being introduced to others, present the business card with both hands, and never throw it on the table casually for others to pick it up.When receiving other people's business cards, you should also accept them with both hands.After receiving it, you should take a good look at it. Sometimes you can consciously repeat the name and position of the other party to show respect and admiration, and don't put it in your pocket carelessly.

(5) Chat with other guests freely before eating, do not sit still.The scope of conversation can be wider, don't just find "old acquaintances", but make more new friends.Some people attend a banquet and only talk to one or two people from beginning to end, as if they are completely uninterested in other people, which is very impolite.A banquet is a social occasion, not a place to talk about work.If you only talk about work, the owner will feel unhappy.

(6) Be polite at mealtimes.The first warm towel delivered by the waiter is mainly used to wipe your hands (use other towels to wipe your face after eating), some people wipe their faces and even their heads as soon as they come up, which is very indecent .

Close your mouth when chewing food, don't sip soup or soup, and in short, don't make a sound.If the soup and vegetables are too hot, you can eat them after cooling down, and do not blow them with your mouth.Do not spit the fishbone or bone in the mouth directly on the table.Cover your mouth with a napkin, take it out with chopsticks (you can use your hands if you eat Western food), and put it on the dish.Can't chew and talk at the same time.When picking your teeth, cover your mouth with your hands or a napkin.Coughing and spitting should leave the dining table.

(7) When drinking tea or coffee, the small teaspoon provided is specially for you to add milk and sugar. After adding milk or sugar, you can use it to stir, and then you should put the teaspoon back on the saucer. Do not use it to sip coffee.When drinking, hold the cup handle in your right hand and the small saucer in your left hand.

(8) When eating fruits such as pears and apples, do not hold and bite them whole. You should peel them first, cut a few pieces, and then eat them with your hands.

(9) To toast, the host and the guest of honor usually clink glasses first, and then the host and other people clink glasses one by one. If there are many people, they can also raise glasses at the same time, not necessarily one by one.Be careful not to touch each other when clinking glasses. When the host or guest of honor is giving a speech or toasting, you should stop eating, stop talking, listen carefully, and don't take this opportunity to smoke.

(10) Drinking should be controlled within 1/3 of your alcohol intake.Excessive drinking is prone to gaffes, even gaffes, which will affect the atmosphere of the entire banquet.

(11) During the banquet, it is not allowed to untie buttons and take off clothes in public.When you must, go to the bathroom.

(12) During the banquet, if any abnormal situation occurs due to carelessness, such as the tableware falling on the ground, or the wine glass knocked over, etc., you should deal with it calmly.You can gently say "I'm sorry" to the neighbor (or the host).If the tableware falls, the waiter can send another set.If the drink is spilled and splashed on the neighbor, you should apologize and help to dry it; if the other party is a woman, just hand over the clean napkin or handkerchief and ask her to dry it by herself.

(13) If you have something to leave early, you should explain it to the host in advance, and then leave quietly without disturbing too many guests, shaking hands one by one, which will affect the whole atmosphere.

(14) Finally, thank the host for the well-organized banquet and the rich and exquisite dishes.

[-]. Chinese etiquette

Eating together is a shortcut to enhance friendship, and eating Chinese food is the shortcut.Everyone eats a dish, I serve the dish for you, you persuade me to drink, everyone enjoys it.

When eating Chinese food, watch the host serve the guests and persuade them to eat?It is not difficult for you to feel the peaceful and harmonious atmosphere.Invite the guests who meet for the first time to eat Chinese food. After a meal, the friendship between each other can reach the level of intimacy.Everyone eats the same thing together, absorbs each other's care for each other, and cultivates close feelings. This may be the most brilliant way of communication.

Chinese food is not only an important part of Chinese traditional culture, but also loved by foreign friends.In foreign exchanges, it is common to invite foreign guests to eat Chinese food.Let's talk about the etiquette of eating Chinese food in detail.

If a formal banquet is held, an invitation must be sent out in advance and marked "Please be seated on time".Some people take pride in being late to a banquet, but in fact they are very disrespectful to others.If you want to entertain foreign guests, the selection of the banquet time should avoid the taboos of foreign guests.For example, when entertaining Westerners, avoid the 13th, especially the 13th is the same day as Friday.It is advisable to hold a feast for Muslims in Ramadan after sunset.In addition, the choice of dishes should take into account the dietary characteristics of foreign guests, such as sea cucumber and animal offal.

(End of this chapter)