space shrine

Chapter 39 Who Transformed Who? (Fives)

When she was with her parents, she had to have two big bowls of rice for each meal to be full; when she was living outside, the bowls on the dining table were only small enough to hold the rice that she could finish in two bites.She has to serve it twice every time, and then comforts herself by saying that there are already two bowls and she is full!
When the weather is cold, she wanders in the street in the dark of night with thin clothes.She has been unemployed for a long time, and the money she earns is very limited, and she can barely make enough food at ordinary times.Even when the temperature was minus 4 degrees, she still covered herself with a thin quilt.I retracted into the quilt and opened my eyes, and I could still see the light seeping in through the quilt.

The quilt for the small bed was cheaper, and she was only willing to pay for this kind of quilt.Every cold night, she can only curl up her 1.6-meter body into a ball as much as possible, and dare not turn over, otherwise she will either show her feet or her back.When I still feel cold, I keep hypnotizing myself, not cold, not cold, the body is always cold, this coldness is nothing~!

After several years like this, no matter how cold the weather is, apart from making her move a little sluggish, she will not feel too uncomfortable.

It's just that no matter where she goes, there will always be a chill around her.Some female colleagues who like to lean on others to keep warm once wanted to hug her to warm up, but when they touched her hand, they screamed and said that she was as cold as a snowman.

She herself didn't take it seriously, although she was dressed thinner than others, she didn't feel cold.Because winter has already assimilated her body and mind with the air temperature, and those cold airs have already frozen into the bone marrow and penetrated into the blood after several years of self-hypnosis.

Her body temperature was terribly low, but she didn't mind, on the contrary, she liked this cold season a little.It not only froze the sensory nerves in her body, but also froze the heart that was repeatedly wounded and sad and self-pitying.

Walking on the cold and windy streets, passers-by are in a hurry, walking quickly with warm clothes tightly on their bodies.They must be anxious to get home quickly, and they will be warm when they get home.

And she walked unhurriedly with her head down.The cold wind like a knife slashed across her cheeks that had long been unconscious, and the skin was tender, and soon showed a few faint red marks like filaments.The wind kept infiltrating through the thin clothes on her body, making her feel like she was in an ice cellar from beginning to end.When the coldness reaches the extreme, there will be a kind of pleasant joy in my heart, and I will long for the coldness to be a little more intense.

People in dreams, psychology will affect physiology.

Qin Feng, sleeping in the barren space, is changing with the changes of dreams.At this moment, she felt as if she was wrapped in a layer of ice, and the suffocating cold tightly twisted her whole body.She couldn't move her limbs, but it made her feel a burst of relaxation, peace of mind, and nostalgia.

I miss the self who wandered alone on the street, the self who wandered around on the viaduct in the middle of the night, the self who tried to get himself out of the predicament, and the self who was heartbroken and carried luggage to find a foothold after years of friends betraying him...

The self at that time, the weather at that time, although it was not winter, it was better than winter.The coldness in her heart was actually buried deep in her body as early as the first time she experienced the baptism of indifference in reality. As time went by, it was intensified by the change of seasons and climate, and turned into layers of solid ice, surrounded and protected heavily. Oneself, free from the cold invasion of severe cold, from the harm of human nature.

Under this hard armor, in the face of many sudden changes, she became indifferent, and could accept all unfavorable changes and betrayals frankly.

She felt like herself, very good!
She likes desolation, because she has always suffered, struggled, and healed by herself!She likes the harsh cold, and feels that this is the essential climate of the world. Regardless of the weather or human nature, it gives her a sense of reality and security that returns to the essence.This kind of coldness also allows her to be indifferent and indifferent to others with confidence, and she has more reasons to stay away from those hypocritical people who put on enthusiastic faces and do cold things!
Sitting outside the courtyard enjoying the wind and moon, laughing at the vain life in the courtyard!

Even though she was very concerned about her own incompetence, it gave her the illusion of being a bystander abroad.

Although the world is so fickle!It is undeniable that during her life journey, she has met many strangers who really committed crimes.

Back then, she was packed by her family to the house of the legendary godmother's daughter in S City. The reason for the legend was that she only knew about the existence of this godmother the day before she set off.

It is said that she was very adaptable at that time, and she was very calm when she lived in the house of a strange daughter of her godmother. Except for meeting on the first day, it was time for her to leave when she met again.

There, she went out at seven o'clock in the morning and wandered around looking for work, and didn't come back until after six o'clock in the evening. Of course, she had to have dinner outside before returning.Years of living in sojourn made her realize that when you cannot repay the other party, you should try to reduce the burden on the other party caused by your own arrival.

In that strange city, her first job was introduced by a fellow villager she met during an interview in a certain nightclub.

At that time, they were both interviewers, and after the interview, she was dragged away by that person.While walking, he nagged at the other party: "Why are you so stupid, why do you come to a nightclub for an interview at a young age? Do you know what this kind of place usually does? Ah? It's really messy, be careful to be sold out !"

He was nagging along the way, and while hearing her amused, I was a little moved in my heart.

"No way, no job is willing to take me. If I can't find a job today, I have to go back tomorrow. I don't want to go back, so I have to try everything. Besides, didn't you go in for an interview~!" Qin Feng laughed laughed.The night before yesterday, the godmother whispered that her daughter's environment here is not very good, if she can't find a job, she has to go back first, and she will be notified later when her godmother helps her find a job.

Qin Feng is not a fool, of course she knows what this means.Not to mention anything else, just saying that she will have no chance to come up this time around.She doesn't want to go back like this, but she also knows that it's not good to bother people like this all the time, and she doesn't have much money, so she must first find a job to solve the current predicament before talking about it later.

But her luck has always been bad. Ever since she came to this city, she has never had a job willing to give her a chance to interview!That's right, she hasn't even tried an interview, even the food stalls on the roadside changed their faces when they heard that she wanted to apply, saying that they had recruited enough.

Who provoked her?

She also knew about the business of this third-rate nightclub, but when she had nowhere to go, and when she was in a hurry to go to the doctor, she didn't care about so much. Once she went in, she took the form and filled it out, interviewed on the spot, passed the customs on the spot, and informed her tomorrow You can go to work, with food and housing included.

"Why not? There are jobs all over the street for you to choose. Be good, listen to my sister, don't go there tomorrow. My sister, I also passed by, and I went for an interview out of curiosity. I heard from the neighbor next door that there are many beautiful ladies there. Why don’t you come here specially to see what you’re doing~!” The fellow spoke in a triumphant manner, as if she really let her see something tricky inside.

Dare to feel that she came here to join in the fun, Qin Feng looked at her with a funny face, it's really different!She was running around for a living, but this fellow came here wasting time.

For a while, she was very envious of this small and handsome fellow.

(End of this chapter)