Hypnosis: Psychological tricks in life

Chapter 16 Hypnotic Tricks in Life (3)
As soon as Johnson entered MacDonald's office, his first words were: "See those snowshoes over there? Henson gave them to me. I consider him a friend. You know the book he wrote ?"

"Familiar. I just have a copy here, and he even signed the book for you."

MacDonald flipped through the book, and then, he said defiantly, "You publish a negro magazine. I think there should be an article in that magazine about a man like Henson."

Johnson agreed with him and handed him the July issue of the magazine.He flipped through the magazine and nodded approvingly.Johnson told him that he had started the magazine to celebrate the achievements of men like Henson who, against all odds, lived up to their highest ideals.

"You know, I don't see any reason why we shouldn't have an ad in this magazine," MacDonald said.

In life, everyone will inevitably deal with strangers.If you can discover something unique about this person through careful observation and deliberation, you can find something to talk about.

Once, the famous crosstalk actor Ma Ji went to Yantai City, Shandong Province to perform. Reporters from several news organizations came to interview one after another. Unexpectedly, Mr. Ma Ji politely declined one by one, which disappointed the reporters.At this time, a reporter who was fond of cross talk knocked on Ma Ji's door again and said: "Mr. Ma Ji, I am a fan of cross talk, and I have my own views on today's cross talk performances..." Mr. Ma Ji Hearing this, he received her very warmly.The reporter used her and the other party's hobbies and mutual interests in cross talk to make a fuss, cleverly opened up Mr. Ma Ji's "talker box", and successfully completed the interview task.

Catering to other people's psychology, doing what they like, arousing his emotional resonance, will naturally achieve the purpose of persuasion smoothly.

Pretending not to understand, ask the other party what he is good at.

The ancients said: "The evil of people is that they like to be teachers." From this, it can be seen that ordinary people are willing to be other people's teachers besides listening to flattery.

When interacting with people, you might as well be a loyal listener, treat others as your own teacher, talk less and listen more, be a student, give the other party the opportunity to fully express yourself, and finally achieve your goal.This is the essence of the "willing to be an apprentice" law.

Li and Lu are graduates of the same prestigious university with excellent grades.The two were assigned to the same unit.A year later, Lu was promoted to be the head of the department, and Li Ze was transferred to an organization under the company.Why?
After they are assigned to the unit, the leaders each give them a task and explain that they can handle it with full authority.

After Xiao Li received the task, he made careful preparations and the plan was well designed.He was so absorbed in his work that he didn't remember to ask his boss for instructions.The leader is enlightened. Since he has said that he has full power to deal with it, he naturally doesn't interfere, but he hasn't explained anything to the people below.When Xiao Li put his plan into practice, the staff from various departments saw that he was a newcomer, so they would inevitably be a little neglected. Xiao Li was outspoken and confronted someone, which caused trouble, because this person was the president of the company. Manager's confidant.The consequences can be imagined, his work was blocked everywhere, and finally the plan was aborted midway.

After receiving the task, Xiao Lu proposed several plans to the leader after careful analysis and investigation, then analyzed the pros and cons one by one to the leader, and finally asked the leader which plan to use.At this time, the leader was convinced by his analysis, and of course adopted the plan he recommended.At this time, he asked the leader how to implement it.The leader said: You can do it yourself, young people are more motivated than us.Lu quickly said that since he just came here, he is not familiar with everything, so he needs to listen to the opinions of the leaders.Because Lu's attitude was humble and his opinions were in place, the leader was very satisfied. He immediately called the heads of several departments and asked them to assist Xiao Lu in his work.Because of the leader's explanation, Xiao Lu always paid attention to coordinating with the personnel of various departments when implementing his plan, and his work was completed quickly and well.

Ask more and satisfy others' desire to be a teacher, and you will benefit a lot.Of course, it is better to use people as teachers and talk less, but it does not mean not talking.To use this tactic well, you still have to talk.Do what you like, ask if you don't understand; if you understand, sometimes you have to temporarily pretend that you don't understand and ask.The purpose of your speaking is to ask questions in a way that makes the other party eloquent and gives the other party a sense of satisfaction and respect. At this time, if you ask again, it will be easy to achieve.

Pretend to be neutral and only tell him the good and the bad.

Persuading others is like "beating a snake to hit seven inches", you must grasp the gains and losses of the other party's vital interests, make his heartstrings tremble, and prompt him to think deeply, so as to give up his negative and wrong actions.

The Brazilian football king Pele showed his talent for playing football at a very young age and achieved good results.

Once, Pele participated in a fierce football match.After the game, the partners were exhausted, and several young players lit cigarettes, saying that they could relieve their fatigue.Seeing this, Little Bailey also ordered one.He was smoking a cigarette proudly, watching the faint smoke coming out of his mouth, and felt that he was very chic and avant-garde.Unfortunately, this scene was bumped into by his father who came to visit him.At night, Bailey's father sat in a chair and asked her, "Did you smoke today?"

"It's smoked." Little Bailey blushed and lowered his head, ready to accept his father's reprimand.

However, the father did not do this.He got up from the chair and walked back and forth in the room for a long time before he spoke: "Son, you have a bit of talent for playing football. If you study hard and practice hard, you may have something to do in the future. But, you should The premise of understanding football is that you have good physical fitness, but today you smoked. Maybe you will say that it is the first time for me, I only smoked one, and I will not smoke again. But you should understand that with The first time will be the second time, the third time...every time you will think: just one, it will not matter. But as time goes on, you will gradually become addicted, your body will not be as good as before, and you Your favorite football may gradually go away from you.”

My father paused, and then said: "As a father, I have the responsibility to educate you to work hard in a good direction, and I also have the responsibility to stop your bad behavior. However, whether to work hard in a good direction or slip in a bad direction mainly depends on It's up to you."

Speaking of this, his father asked Bailey: "Are you willing to damage your body in the smoke, or do you want to be a promising football player? You are already sensible, so make your own choice!"

As he said that, his father took out a stack of banknotes from his pocket, handed them to Bailey, and said: "If you don't want to be a promising athlete and insist on smoking, the money will be used as your smoking fee!" After finishing speaking, Father went out.

Looking at the back of his father going away, little Bailey thought carefully about his father's deep and sincere words, and couldn't help crying. After a while, he stopped crying, picked up the money, and came to his father: "Dad, I will never smoke again, I must be a promising athlete!"

From then on, Bailey trained even harder.Later, he finally became the king of the generation.To this day, Bailey still does not smoke.

What a person is most concerned about is his own interests, because after all, people live in a very realistic society. Although it cannot be said that "people die for money, birds die for food", people cannot survive without all kinds of things. interests related to oneself.Therefore, when you want to persuade someone, you should tell him what is good for him by doing so, and what is the disadvantage of not doing so, and I believe he will not be unmoved.

It is more effective to praise in a way that seems matter-of-fact.

When Western scholar Maslow studied the five levels of human needs, he placed human dignity and sense of accomplishment at a higher level, and praise is a manifestation of satisfying others' sense of accomplishment and self-worth.Pretending to praise others sincerely and seeking truth from facts is the best way to eliminate the other party's psychological defenses and get the other party's psychological approval.

Compliments are the most effective way to gain and maintain goodwill.It is also the strongest stimulant to promote others to continue to work hard, which is determined by the instinct of human nature.If you want to succeed in asking for help, you must learn this trick.

A scholar is employed in an institution of higher learning, and the man is deep and serious.His wife works in a laboratory and often deals with machines and data, so she is inevitably cautious and rigid.However, not long ago, friends discovered that his wife was much younger, not only treated others with enthusiasm, but also dressed in a new look.When encountering happy things, the hearty laughter is very touching, everyone wonders, why does she look like a different person?After inquiring about this scholar, I learned that she has recently changed a working environment where there are many young people and the atmosphere is harmonious, and her immediate boss is also a person who is full of energy and can tell jokes. She deserved encouragement and praise, and she also felt that she suddenly lived in another world, with bright sunshine, fresh air, and full of vigor.

In our life, a person who is good at discovering the strengths of others and praising the strengths of others is by no means giving and giving unilaterally, and he will also gain a lot at the same time.I don't know if you have this experience too. Praising others often motivates yourself.The spirit of others will infect us, and the example of others will drive us. They can do it, but why can't we?
But praising others requires skill, and mastering the skill of praising others just right is a sign of a person's communication ability becoming mature.So, how to properly compliment others?

(1) Compliment what the other person is proud of.

There is a common feature in human nature, that is, we like others to praise what we are most proud of and most valued.

The best results can only be obtained by praising what others value most.As the saying goes: "Radish and green vegetables, each has his own love."People are different, and the things they value are naturally very different. This requires us to "know the enemy" before we praise others, find out the background of the other person's interests, hobbies, personality, occupation, experience, etc., and prescribe the right medicine. Put the most important and proud things in a prominent position to praise, so that the psychological needs of the other party can be satisfied to the greatest extent, so as to achieve their own goals.

(2) Grasp the details and praise.

True feelings need praise, and it is easier to show true feelings in subtleties. Therefore, experienced people often grasp the details of someone's behavior in a certain aspect, and skillfully give praise and thanks.This is very easy to win the favor of the other party.It makes perfect sense to do so.In fact, the reason why the other party puts so much thought and energy into the details is that on the one hand, it shows that the other party has special attention or preference for this, and on the other hand, it also shows that the other party hopes that this part of the effort can get the attention and appreciation of others, and can get the due attention. reward and affirmation.Therefore, we should be good at discovering subtle intentions in communication, and repay the other party’s good intentions with praise and thanks without losing the opportunity. This will not only bring great psychological satisfaction to the other party, but also deepen mutual emotional communication and spiritual understanding.

It is good to praise others directly and sincerely, but if the words are not used properly, it may become "flattery", causing the other party's displeasure, or leaving everyone with too explicit and nasty feelings.If we do not have enough confidence in our passionate direct praise, then using indirect praise to focus on expressing our praise for a certain type of person or thing will also receive extraordinary good results.In this way, no matter how you use the words of praise, it will not appear blatant and nasty, and the other party can also appreciate our appreciation.

In many cases, asking others for advice with a low profile and highlighting the other party's brilliance or advantages in this area with one's own ordinary or even inferiority can play the role of praising others.Proper use of this method can not only successfully praise others, but also leave a good impression of being modest, studious and progressive.

In addition, pay attention: praise should be natural and follow the trend.You don't have to do it deliberately, praise depends on the object.Don't use too nasty words.Just be able to express your meaning appropriately.Praise the "little people" more.When they showed a little performance and praised them a few words, Bao Zhun accepted their hearts, because what they usually lack is praise.

Compliment before criticizing, so that the other party feels that you are fair and objective.

Praise before criticizing is actually a kind of practice of suppressing first and promoting first, that is, when criticizing others, first find out the strengths of the other party and praise them, then make criticisms, and finally use some encouraging words.This method makes people think that your criticism is fair and objective, and that you have both faults and achievements.In this way, the resistance caused by criticism is reduced, and good criticism effects can be received.

A leader found that the summary written by the secretary was inappropriate.He criticized the secretary in this way: "Xiao Zhang, this summary is generally well written, with clear ideas and prominent points. There are a few places that are very insightful. It seems that you have worked hard. There are only a few points to mention. The method is inappropriate, some exaggerated, and some places still lack quantitative analysis, please revise it again. Your writing is good, and the more you revise the summary in the past, the better. I believe you will be able to revise a good summary this time. .”

In this way, the secretary will feel that the leader treats him fairly and highly, and is full of expectations and trust, so he will work hard to improve the summary.

It is often much easier for a man to hear criticism of him after he has been praised for some of his merits.For example, you just kissed someone on the left cheek, and when he is still relishing that sweet feeling, you give him a slap on the right cheek, and at this time his pain will definitely not be as strong as when he was not kissed. .

When Coolidge was president of the United States, he said to the female secretary one day: "You are wearing a beautiful dress today. You are really a young and charming lady."

The secretary was flattered, for this was probably the greatest compliment the taciturn Coolidge could ever give her.But Coolidge changed the subject and said: "In addition, I want to tell you that you should pay attention to punctuation when copying in the future."

Like Coolidge, praise the other party before criticizing, and use praise to create an atmosphere of criticism. It can make the other party accept criticism with pleasure as well as pleasant praise.This is because it is much easier for a person to accept his criticism after hearing others' praise of some of his strengths.

I have to mention that some people think that praise first and then criticism is manipulative and the intention is too obvious, so they don't like to use it.There is also some truth to this statement, because when you find someone and praise him, he will not listen to your praise at all, he just wants to know when the other stick will be hit-what bad news will come after the praise.So more often than not, many people put praise after criticism. When ending criticism with praise, people consider their own behavior, not your attitude.

Use it flexibly to satisfy the vanity of the other party.

People have high or low status and different ages, so compliments that vary from person to person and highlight personality can receive better results than general flattery.The elderly always hope that others will not forget his achievements and glory of "thinking about the past". When talking with him, he can praise his proud past; for young people, he might as well praise his creativity and pioneering spirit, and cite a few points Examples prove that he can indeed have a bright future; for business people, he can be praised for his quick mind and ability to make money; for intellectuals, he can be praised for his profound knowledge and tranquility... These are all appropriate.And if you praise a middle-aged woman as lively, cute, innocent and kind, it will be nondescript, and it will lead to scolding if it is not done well.If you praise your leader for making a fortune and making money every day, I am afraid that promotion will be slim.

(End of this chapter)