Hypnosis: Psychological tricks in life

Chapter 28 Hypnotic Tricks in Life (15)
On the contrary, if they hold each other's heart and talk in different directions, both parties will feel that they have suffered a loss, so they complain to each other that the part of their loss has been earned by the other party.We don't want this, so we must leave the other party with the impression that the two sides are sitting together for common interests, and negotiate in the spirit of "I earn, and you earn".

Therefore, transitional conjunctions should be avoided as much as possible in dialogue.Using too much, no matter how you explain it, will create an atmosphere of mutual opposition.Even if the other party refutes himself, he cannot accept it with "but".No matter what people say, be sure to use coordinating conjunctions such as "so" and "because of this" to deal with it.

The development of interpersonal relationships is not necessarily so standardized and perfect.Some expressions seem unreasonable when written in the article, but there is often no strange feeling in the oral dialogue.For example, there are two female high school students talking. From an objective standpoint, it sounds a little bit wrong, but they can continue to chat in such a specific atmosphere.The conversation between the two does not have to be 100% consistent, and 30% of them will not match, and the relationship can be harmonious.So, even if you use a transitional conjunction where you should use a transitional conjunction, the conversation can still go on and the content doesn't change unexpectedly.For example, when the other party points out the shortcomings and asks: "How should you deal with this situation?" At this time, you can answer: "Nothing, I am considering countermeasures." You can also answer: "So, I am considering countermeasures." Both mean the same. Makes sense, but the latter is better because it gives the impression that we are both working towards the same goal.

People who have gone through various trials and can quickly pick up from where they fell are often good at using coordinating conjunctions.A person who starts with "so" and insists on saying his own opinion even when he does not want to accept the other party's opinion willingly, should be said to be a strong person.If during the speech process, no matter what kind of attack you receive, you do not change your argument and use transitional conjunctions to meet the challenge of the other party, then the negotiation will go astray unknowingly.

The highest state of negotiation is to make both sides of the negotiation go to a win-win situation. Negotiation is like sharing a "cake", in which you get a certain benefit, and at the same time, let the other party know that he can also get a "piece", so that the "cake" can grow bigger and bigger. Negotiation Only in the direction can you always dominate.

Take one step back and take two steps forward to break the deadlock forcefully.

A businessman brought three famous paintings to the United States for sale, and they happened to be spotted by an American art dealer.The American thought he was very smart, and he decided: Since these three paintings are all treasures, they must be valuable for collection. A fortune.So the Americans made up their minds to buy these masterpieces no matter what.

After making up his mind, the American art dealer asked the merchant: "Sir, your painting is not bad, how much is it?"

"Are you going to buy only one, or all three?" The businessman asked without answering.

"What about buying all three? What about buying only one?" The Americans began to calculate.His wishful thinking is to finalize the price of one painting with the merchant first, and then tell the whole story, buy the other two together, it will definitely be cheaper, buy more and pay less.

The businessman didn't answer his question directly, but had a troubled expression on his face.The American lost his composure and said, "How much do you charge for the three paintings?"

The businessman knew the value of his paintings, and he also learned that Americans like to collect famous antique paintings, and they will not give up easily, so they must pay a high price to buy them.And he could see from the eyes of this American that he had already taken a fancy to his painting, so he had a solid foundation in his heart.

So the businessman replied casually: "Sir, if you really want to buy it, I will sell it to you at a lower price. How about 3 US dollars each?"

This art dealer was not a mediocre person in the mall, he didn't want to pay more than a dollar, so he countered the price with the dealer, and the negotiation fell into a deadlock for a while.

Suddenly, the businessman angrily picked up a painting and walked out, burning the painting without saying a word.The American art dealer was very sad to see a painting being burned.He asked the merchant how much he sold for the remaining two paintings.

Unexpectedly, the merchant's asking price tone is even tougher this time, declaring that it will not be sold for less than US$9.One painting was missing, and it cost 9 US dollars. The American businessman felt aggrieved, so he asked for a lower price.

But the businessman ignored this, and angrily picked up a painting and burned it.

This time the art dealer was shocked, so he begged the Jewish merchant not to burn the last painting, because he loved it so much.Then he asked how much the last painting cost.

Unexpectedly, the businessman opened his mouth and asked for 12 US dollars.The businessman went on to say: "Now, there is only one painting left. This can be said to be a peerless treasure. Its value has greatly exceeded the time when all three paintings were present. Therefore, now I tell you, if you really want to buy this The minimum bid for a painting is $12."

The art dealer had a bitter look on his face, he had no choice but to make a deal in the end.

Taking retreat is a commonly used winning strategy and technique on the negotiating table. It means that when your request is rejected, instead of reluctantly and directly refuting the other party's question, it is better to change the topic at the time so that the other party thinks that you will not talk about it again. Continue to persuade him, wait until the atmosphere changes slightly, and then continue to try to facilitate.Applying this strategy requires us to have the ability to perceive words and emotions, and flexible and resourceful thinking.

Just like the painting dealer in this case, he knew that the other party already had a desire to buy by virtue of his understanding of American habits and observation of the American's expression.The businessman makes this judgment, on the one hand, relying on the situation he has and the information he has collected, and on the other hand, relying on his ability to be good at observing words and deeds.

After reaching this conclusion, the businessman knew that he had already taken the dominant position in the negotiation. After the negotiation reached an impasse, he wisely took advantage of Americans' love for painting, burned two paintings in a row, and raised the price of the original painting. The price finally forced the Americans to make a deal at a high price. This is a typical strategy of retreating and advancing, and it is "one step back, two steps forward", so he won the negotiation.

In the negotiation process, "advance by retreat" can often get twice the result with half the effort. Therefore, if you encounter a similar situation during negotiation, you might as well learn from that businessman and use the strategy of "advance by retreat" to make the negotiating opponent "Catch it with nothing."

Use "ultimatums" to get the other party to give in.

In negotiations, some negotiators put on airs and prepare for a difficult tug of war, and they also completely ignore the negotiation deadline.At this point, your best defense-cum-offense strategy is to surprise, issue an ultimatum, and impose a time limit.

The main content of the "ultimatum" strategy is to give the other party a surprise attack on the negotiating table, change the attitude, and make the opponent at a loss in an unprepared and unpredictable situation.The other party originally thought that there was plenty of time, but when they suddenly heard a deadline to terminate the negotiation, and the success of the negotiation was of great importance to him, it was impossible not to feel at a loss.Because they are likely not fully prepared in terms of materials, conditions, energy, ideas, and time, driven by economic interests and time constraints, they will have to give in and sign the agreement.

After taking over the nearly bankrupt Chrysler Corporation, American automobile king Iacocca felt that the first step must be to lower workers' wages.He first lowered the salaries of senior staff by 10%, and himself reduced his annual salary from $36 to $10.Then he told the union leaders: "There are plenty of jobs for 17 yuan an hour, but none for 20 yuan an hour."

Of course, such coercive, intimidating and unstrategic words will not work, and the union immediately rejected his request.The two sides have been deadlocked for a year, and there has been no progress.Later, Iacocca came up with a plan. One day, he suddenly said to the union representatives: "Your intermittent strikes have made the company unable to operate normally. I have already called the Labor Export Center. If you have not yet If you start working, there will be a group of people taking over your jobs."

The trade union negotiators were dumbfounded. They wanted to negotiate again to make new progress on the salary issue, so they only made materials and ideological preparations in this regard.Unexpectedly, Yacoka would come up with such a trick!Being fired means that they will lose their jobs, which is no joke.After a short discussion, the union basically fully accepted Iacoka's request.

After a year of protracted delays against the union, Iacocca's unexpected move worked, and it was resolved cleanly.

Ultimatums are often a tactic used when negotiators are at loggerheads and stalemate, and the other party is unwilling to make concessions to accept the terms of the deal.Practice has proved that if one party limits the time based on the content of the negotiation and issues an ultimatum, the other party must consider whether it is ready to give up the opportunity and sacrifice the huge negotiation costs that have been invested in the previous.

At certain critical moments, ultimatums can be helpful.However, this method is not time-tested. Once the opponent sees through the mechanism, the power of the ultimatum may be reflected on oneself.

Therefore, when issuing the "ultimatum", we must pay attention to some language skills, and we must get to the point.

1. Be unexpected, put forward deadlines, and ask negotiators to be firm and not to accommodate.

Using this method, you should first speak calmly and quietly in the negotiation, and be firm when presenting an ultimatum. Do not use ambiguous words to make the other party hopeful and unwilling to sign the contract.Because once the negotiator has hope for the future and imagines that the future may bring him greater benefits, he will not be willing to sign the contract.Thus, a firm, uncompromising tone will make the final decision for them.

2. When proposing a time limit, the time must be clear and specific.

At the critical moment, you should not say: "Tomorrow morning" or "The day after tomorrow afternoon", but a more specific time such as "Tomorrow morning at 8 o'clock" or "The day after tomorrow at 9 o'clock in the evening".This will make the other party have a feeling that time is approaching, so that there is no room for chance.

3. Be tactful when issuing an ultimatum.

Ultimatums must be delivered as tactfully as possible.The ultimatum itself is very aggressive. If the negotiator speaks fiercely and hurts the feelings of the other party, the other party may take a risk out of impulsiveness and withdraw from the negotiation all at once, which is not good for both parties.

When issuing an "ultimatum" to the other party, you must pay attention to skills, and you must pay attention to your tone when making deadlines and requirements.It is best to speak firmly and on a tight schedule so that the other party has little chance to breathe.

Avoid deadlocks and make clever concessions around conflicts.

After the negotiation enters the actual negotiation stage, the negotiating parties are often at a stalemate for some reason and fall into a dilemma, which is what we often call "deadlock".If you want to break this situation, you have to spend some effort.The common strategies and techniques used to break the deadlock mainly include the following:

1. Let go of the focal conflict first.

Imagine that if you are a sales representative of a medical equipment manufacturer, after completing the product introduction, the hospital said to you: "Two companies have come to me before you, and the product functions are basically the same, but their The price is 10% lower than yours, if you insist on this price, there is no possibility of cooperation between us.” But your company strictly stipulates that the price can only be reduced by 5%, what will you do? Woolen cloth?

When faced with this problem, experienced salespeople usually put aside the price issue temporarily, but introduce the uniqueness of the product in depth to stimulate their desire to buy.When they have the desire to buy, they will have a favorable position if they turn back to negotiate the price, and the other party will make a certain amount of concessions.

Therefore, when encountering this kind of negotiation dilemma, we can put aside the focal conflict for a while, and then come back to solve the original problem after making breakthroughs from other aspects.

2. Make subtle concessions.

Premature concessions often lead to regret by one's own side, and failure to make concessions when it is time to make concessions will easily lead to the breakdown of negotiations.Concession is also a science.Negotiators can make hypothetical proposals to test the other party's flexibility before making concessions.

In addition, it is also possible to divide the concession share into several shares during the negotiation, make concessions in a measured manner, and throw out one by one.This can play a role in confusing the other party.Try not to let the other party know your details, and make the other party feel that you are helpless every time, and make the other party feel that it is hard won.In this way, the other party will return with their own concessions.Concessions from less to more can also effectively make the other party think that your concessions are limited, and there is little hope of making further concessions.This approach is usually very effective.

3. Change negotiators.

With the deepening of the negotiation, the cooperation differences between the two parties can easily slowly evolve into differences on people.Because the different thoughts and styles of the negotiators on both sides will cause some irreconcilable contradictions, and some negotiators will even put personal grievances above the interests of the company because of their hatred for their opponents.In this case, timely replacement of negotiators can ease the tension between the two parties.

4. Modify the trading conditions.

Conditions are dead, people are alive.Negotiation is actually a process of bargaining to resolve differences.If there is a disagreement on price, negotiators can try to find a win-win way that is in the interests of both parties but can keep the overall transaction amount unchanged by increasing the payment ratio, bearing logistics and transportation costs, shortening the payment period, and adjusting the delivery time.When you make the other party feel affordable, the other party will also make appropriate concessions.

5. Suspension of negotiations.

The choice made when excited is the most dangerous. Therefore, when both parties are very excited, they can suspend the negotiation, collect further information, re-evaluate the negotiation plan, speculate on the other party’s alternative plan, price bottom line and negotiation pressure, and judge the other party’s next move. measures.

6. Apply for high-level intervention.

When the negotiations between the two parties fail to reach an agreement, the high-level decision-makers of both parties can be invited to meet to make up for the impending breakdown of the negotiation relationship.The biggest advantage of doing this is that the leader can make decisions on things that you cannot promise, and ask the other party to make concessions with a strong attitude (sometimes this is a strategy formulated in advance). At this time, the other party is often easy to compromise, because they know very well, If you refuse to make concessions, the negotiations will end in failure.

Sometimes, after the two parties reach an agreement in the later stage of the negotiation, although the overall interests of the two parties and their respective divisions have been confirmed through negotiation, as long as the formal contract has not been signed, there will always be unfulfilled rights, responsibilities, obligations, and interests. And some details to confirm and divide.When the overall situation has been decided, it is not a bad idea to ask one party to be more magnanimous and make a little concession, so as to avoid a stalemate when the negotiation is about to end.

[-]. Use a little trick to make love sweet - hypnotic tricks to help you keep love fresh

The relationship between men and women is probably the most complicated thing in the world. The different characteristics of men and women have created inevitable misunderstandings and even conflicts between men and women in communication.How to see the other person's true thoughts, how to maintain your own attractiveness, and how to avoid conflicts and contradictions are all issues that many men and women want to figure out.Hypnosis itself has the characteristics of affecting psychology, making it a powerful nirvana in the emotional life of men and women.

When the other party is angry, use the "coax soft" tactic.

When husband and wife get along, they need to use "coaxing" as a lubricant.A "coax" is worth a thousand gold. Those husbands who have tasted the sweetness of the word "coax" must have a deep understanding of its beauty.And if women use the "soft" technique, they can also win the favor of men. The "coaxing soft" tactic is actually a kind of maternal hypnosis.

(End of this chapter)