Sadness begins with your name

Chapter 30 Going all the way, being let down all the way (2)
Hearing this, I was too disheartened to say anything, "It's okay, I'll be at school soon, goodbye."

Before he could finish saying goodbye, I resolutely hung up the line.

Fang Cheng, who was sitting next to me, looked at me probingly: "What's the matter with you? Are you hungry, have some bread?"

I shook my head, and leaned my head against the car window weakly. My heart, like the night, was an endless darkness.

The next day I slept until I woke up naturally, and it was already past lunch time. Those unscrupulous girls in the dormitory had already eaten lunch and were leisurely reading novels, surfing the Internet, eating snacks and playing games.

Only my hungry stomach hurts.

I got up and washed my face. I wanted to check my phone, only to find that it was out of battery and turned it off. While brushing my teeth, I found the charger and plugged it in. Someone knocked on the door of the dormitory. Are you in this dormitory?"

I waved my toothbrush and said vaguely, "Is there something wrong?"

"There's a guy downstairs looking for you, he's pretty handsome." After she finished speaking, she immediately left, and in the dormitory, people who were doing their own thing immediately became excited and rushed to the window one by one.

"Wow, he's so handsome!"

"My bass player!" Er Niu held her heart in a broken heart, then turned around and stared at me fiercely: "He is waiting for you downstairs! Bao Sha, I really hate you..."

I was stunned for a while, and ran over with my toothbrush in hand. He was looking up, happened to see me, and immediately smiled brightly: "Hey, Baosha!"

I almost swallowed the toothpaste foam in my stomach.

After taking a long time to pack myself, I finally couldn't bear the urging of my roommates and went downstairs slowly.Unexpectedly, they were hit again as soon as they met.

"Why are your eyes swollen into peaches? Don't you think I didn't sleep well all night?"

Smile, he still has the face to smile, I used to think that I was heartless, but now I realize that facing a truly heartless person can make you spit blood out of anger.

"Okay, I didn't sleep well all night, but I didn't miss you, but scolded you." I said sullenly.

"Then you still miss me, the same." He smiled, rubbed his red eyes, and said, "May I treat you to dinner? Actually, I didn't sleep well last night, and now I don't even have breakfast." eat."

"Why are you?" I followed him, acquiescing to having dinner with him.

"One thing has been bothering me recently." He sighed, his eyes becoming dazed.

"Tell me?"

"Say it...I'm not sure if it will make you sad." He turned his head to look at me, smiling calmly: "I want to be friends with you, and you will naturally know about this in the future."

I knew that the thing that troubled him must be related to feelings, and I could vaguely guess who that person was.

I don't want to admit it, and I don't want to hear it from him, so I'm like an ostrich in the desert, digging my head into the sand, pretending that the world is peaceful.

We ate on a street not far from the school, and it was also the first time Lin Beifeng and I dated alone since we grew up.

Please excuse my use of the word "dating".I know this restaurant, most of the people who come here are campus couples, there are swing seats, and there are also private rooms for couples, which is quite elegant.

Sitting near the window, I saw myself and Lin Beifeng in the mirror, which was so clear that I could see people's shadows. One was dressed in white and had long hair, the other was young and handsome.

The bottom of my heart suddenly became sour, he just turned his face to me when he ordered the dishes, and I said decisively: "What's the matter with you and Wei Young?"

He was caught off guard for a moment, then smiled awkwardly: "Why do you ask that? We... are okay."

"How good...to what extent?" I stared into his eyes and asked in a soft voice.

He turned his face away, looked out the window, and smiled gently as if thinking of something: "It's so good...I want to marry her after graduation."

Then I heard my heart screaming in pain and falling straight into the abyss.

"Okay. I...bless you." I bit my lip, holding back my tears.

The milkshake he ordered for me came up, I lowered my head and took a sip, the pain from the scalding temperature burning my mouth immediately replaced the convulsions of my heart.Seeing my frown, he hurriedly asked, "Are you all right?"

I shook my head and smiled slightly at him.

Lin Beifeng looked at me with a piercing gaze, and said guiltily, "It's been so many years... Bo Sha, I can only say to you, I'm sorry."

I punched him hard on the shoulder: "I hate people saying I'm sorry! I want to drink, do you dare to accompany me?"

He held down my hand and gently took it off, looked at me tenderly and said, "Drunk will only make you feel worse, I don't like girls drinking. How about I take you to the alley in the afternoon and practice pigeon whistle?"

After dinner, it was about two o'clock, he said, you go back to the dormitory and wait, I will find a car.

"Ride on mine."

He smiled at me: "You go back first, just as I have to go to Beiying. See you at the gate of your school in an hour."

Often we are always too tolerant and trusting to the person we love, and it is too easy to forgive again and again, so we encounter neglect and failure in certain unequal love relationships, and we think we are bravely moving forward along the way, but we are walking along the way. Be let down all the way.

To be honest, in this life, Lin Beifeng broke my heart more than once, but because of love, I choose to forgive unconditionally every time.For the last time, I finally chose not to forgive, and finally lost Lin Beifeng.Of course, this is all later.

It was three o'clock soon.At ten past three, I called him and the line was busy.At [-]:[-], he called again, but he didn't answer.I thought, there must be something wrong with Wei Young, and he won't be able to leave for a while.

Look, how magnanimous I am, knowing that he is in a relationship with her, yet waiting to hang out with him without any qualms.In fact, it can also be said that I am so shameless.

The sky was cloudy, and the clouds in the distance slowly gathered to form a depressing dark gray cloud above the head.At four o'clock, it rained.The needle-like spring rain soaked the whole body in a short time. In fact, I shouldn't be standing here anymore, but I am always unwilling.Not reconciled to being cheated, and being cheated one after another.

Who would have thought that there would be such a heavy rain in spring.Swish, swish, the world turned gray, and the ground was covered with rainwater. At [-]:[-], the phone finally rang.

"Basha, are you still at the school gate?" With the sound of rain, his voice sounded so far away.

"Yes, I'm still here."

"Go back quickly. It's raining. It seems that we can't go shopping today. Can we go again when the weather is fine?" He coaxed the child.

"Where are you? Lin Beifeng, I'll wait for you right here. I'm not going anywhere." I said stubbornly while huddling under the eaves of the canteen at the school gate.

"The situation has changed a bit." There was faint music and noisy human voices coming from the other end, as if in a bar or something, he raised his voice and said: "I can't get through it for a while, why don't you go back to the dormitory first? Don't wait." me."

"I don't!" I screamed, and my chest began to heave violently because of anger: "People should mean what they say, and it's your business that you let me dove over and over again, but I won't! Let me tell you, Lin Beifeng, today, I'll wait for you right here! Even if I wait until it gets dark or dawn, I won't go anywhere, I'll just wait for you here! If you don't believe me, try it!" After I finished speaking, I slammed down the phone and almost threw the phone out.

I want to cry, but I can't.Before seeing him, tears cannot flow in vain.And after seeing him, I have no reason to cry anymore.

I came out of the canteen decisively, and stood at the most conspicuous position at the gate, even though the wind and rain there were unobstructed.I don’t know how long it took, anyway, I was already trembling and almost numb, when I suddenly heard someone calling my name, a man jumped out of a taxi that stopped at the opposite street, with a slender figure and a familiar silhouette .He didn't bring an umbrella and ran across the road in the rain. It was a red light at that time, and there was a lot of traffic. I saw him in a hurry through the eyelashes with drops of water, as if I forgave him instantly.

"Be careful, be careful." I said silently in my heart, but I couldn't say it out.

"Crench!"

"Drip!"

Because he ran a red light and crossed the road, many speeding vehicles had to brake suddenly, and two cars rear-ended slightly. The driver honked and yelled, but the perpetrator, Lin Beifeng, quickly crossed the road as if he hadn't heard him, and ran away. come to me.

"Fool, fool!" He grabbed my hand, got up and ran: "Go!"

"Where are you going..." I yelled weakly, being dragged by him not knowing where to go.

"Let's talk about it somewhere else. If you don't run away, those drivers will catch up." Is this a traffic accident?When I was nervous, I hurriedly ran after him.

It was raining, and it was not a problem for two people to run in the rain like fools. After some time, a McDonald's appeared at the intersection in time and saved us.

Stepping into the warm shop in the drenching rain, Lin Beifeng kept holding my hand, pointed to the place where the air conditioner was in the corner by the window, and said, "Sit here. It's warm."

He went to order, and I went to the bathroom to tidy myself up briefly. After I took off my coat and twisted it, a lot of water flowed out.

After taking two cups of hot coffee, Lin Beifeng unconsciously took my hand as soon as he sat down: "Is it still cold?"

I shrank back suddenly, he was stunned for a moment, came to his senses and smiled a little embarrassedly, pushed me a cup of coffee: "Warm your hands."

I kept staring at him without speaking, waiting for him to explain why he missed the appointment.

"I'm sorry today. It's Wei Young's senior sister's birthday, so she insisted on taking me with her." He stirred the coffee with a spoon, lowered his head and said embarrassingly.

I am silent.

"I wanted to go for a while and then leave. I didn't expect Wei Young to drink too much...I can't leave her alone."

I still don't speak, just look at his bangs, forehead, eyebrows and straight nose, I know that every time I am with him, I can only suffer a heartbreak, but I still can't help but yearn for every face-to-face Opportunity.I guess I have some sort of deficiency in him.

At this moment, I don't know what kind of struggle he was going through in his heart. On such a rainy afternoon approaching evening, we sat quietly, facing each other, and each of us played out a drama in our hearts that we couldn't speak to others.

After a long time, he looked up at me with a slight apology in his eyes: "It's really strange, since I was a child, I have never wanted to owe others, but to you, I feel guilty every time."

"Has this guilt made you suffer?" I said quietly and softly.

He nodded, smiling bitterly: "From the first time you confessed your love to me a few years ago, this feeling has been entangled for many years."

After a pause, he said again: "When you were not around, I often comforted myself, maybe you have forgotten me. There must be many boys who are better than me like a girl like you. That's why you Once gone, there is no news..."

"So, you also pretend to forget me, and never give a word, is that so?" I looked straight into his eyes.

"Yes, that's right." He smiled lightly, but the corners of his mouth curled into an unnatural arc.

I no longer speak, although I have missed several years of youth, but maybe it is not a bad thing.Just like a beautiful picture scroll, it must be left blank to add imagination and charm.It's just that I don't know if there is still intersection between us after the reunion.

"In the future, can we be friends?" I looked into his eyes seriously, waiting for the answer calmly.

Thin sand cannot replace Ye Weiyang's position in his heart, I know this very well.The reason why I want to be friends with him is because I am so obsessed with him, and I am so reluctant to give up the slightest possibility of love.

(End of this chapter)