Do it and you can beat procrastination

Chapter 15 Don't Be Stubborn!Regret is also a kind of beauty (4)
For example, when the elevator door is about to close, someone presses the button to let you rush; you receive a letter from a distant friend; Today is bright; the cleaner stopped the broom a few steps away from you, instead of making you run to avoid the dust...any detail in life can be used as a reason to smile, because this is the gift that life gives you .Those who did what the therapist couple asked found it easy to find more than 10 reasons to smile almost every day.As time goes by, the emotional rift between husband and wife begins to heal, the tense relationship with leaders or colleagues tends to ease, and people who are living unsatisfactory lives will also look forward to the future.In short, their efforts to "find a reason to smile" have paid off unexpectedly.

· Make good use of the influence of emotions

The famous American psychologist Daniel believes that only 20% of a person's success depends on IQ (intelligence quotient), and the remaining 80% depends on EQ (emotional quotient).The concept of EQ management is to use scientific and humane attitudes and skills to manage people's emotions, and make good use of the positive value and meaning brought by emotions to help people succeed.

A truly healthy and energetic person will not worry that once his emotions lose control, it will affect his life.Because they know how to control, coordinate and manage their emotions, and let their emotions serve them.

When you understand that your emotions are not right, you have to think about which ones you should be responsible for and which ones are caused by external reasons.For example, you were punished by your boss for being late, and you felt very depressed.Then you have to ask yourself: Is this your own reason or an external reason?If it is due to external reasons such as traffic jams, then don’t pay too much attention to it; if it’s because you move slowly and often get up late, then you should change your habits instead of condemning yourself.If you develop good habits because of this, then the leader's punishment is also worthwhile.

Often, people attribute their misfortune to the outside world.For example, a leader criticizes himself because he has always been uncomfortable with himself, and this imaginary sense of injustice will make the mood worse.At this time, if you can eliminate the "imaginary" about the other party in time, you can help yourself unload a heavy burden.

In addition, some things that have happened may have had unchangeable consequences, for example, if you say a wrong sentence, you may offend the leader.In addition to realizing that no matter what happened before, it belongs to the past, and you also need to help yourself find some specific measures to solve the problem.For example, what can I do to lessen the negative impression I leave on my leader?How can leaders regain trust in themselves?To do this, you can ask yourself a few questions:

(1) What benefits does this incident have for me?
(2) What are the imperfections in the current situation?
(3) What are you going to do now to get the result you want?

(4) In the process of achieving results, which mistakes should you not make again?

When you face things that are not good for you, you will have fear, worry, and anxiety. Once you find a solution to the problem, it can just help you increase your control over things, and your bad emotions will also be relieved.

You may have had this experience: anxiety and restlessness before the exam; blank eyes and unwillingness to work after being criticized by leaders and customers; after quarreling with colleagues and friends, you wandered around the street angrily and bought a bunch of Inappropriate things to vent anger... Long-term depression has a great impact on the functions of various body systems. How to get rid of and eliminate bad psychological emotions?Randy, a professor of psychology at the University of Michigan, proposed 7 more effective methods:

(1) Try to find the root of the negative emotions in response to the problem;

(2) Re-evaluate the situation, don't just look at the bad side, but also see the good side; (3) Remind yourself, don't forget the achievements you have made in other areas; (4) You might as well reward yourself, such as going shopping , go to a restaurant to have a good meal, listen to music and dance; (5) think about it and avoid similar problems in the future; (6) think about the many people who are not as good as you; (7) describe your current situation Comparing with the past, you will have an epiphany of "satisfaction and happiness".

Fighting and Dragging: Ways to Restrain Impulsivity
A person who can't get angry is a mediocre person; a person who can only be angry is a fool; a person who can control his emotions and try not to get angry is a smart person.The cleverness of a smart person is to be good at using reason, introducing emotions into the correct channel of expression, enabling oneself to control emotions according to rational principles, and use reason to control emotions.As long as you are willing to work hard to learn the correct way to control anger, others will definitely admire your morality, self-cultivation, reason, and generosity from the heart.At that time, you will automatically reach the new realm of "the wind is calm and then the waves are calm, the waves are calm and then the water is clear, and the water is clear and then the fish can be counted".

The wisdom to control anger comes from being calm.Calmness will provide you with space for thinking. Once your head is hot, there will be less space for thinking, and you will easily lose your mind, get angry, and get angry for no reason. As a result, your interpersonal relationship will be irreparable.

In life, everyone has impulsive moments, so learn to restrain your emotions, otherwise you will suffer from impulsiveness.So how do you resist the urge?You should do the following. 1. Have a sufficient understanding of the dangers of impulsiveness In life, you can often see some people get angry because of little things, and even do some things that shouldn't be done, and they often regret it afterwards.Therefore, impulsiveness cannot solve the problem, and sometimes it will aggravate the conflict.

2. Improve your sanity and learn to restrain your anger
Strengthening your sense of reason through analysis can make you think more about things, think about others, think more about the results of things, and take them seriously.Once you find that you have signs of impulsiveness, you must restrain yourself in time and strengthen your self-control.

3. Learn some good ways to help yourself restrain your temper

(1) Always remind yourself to be calm.The Russian writer Turgenev once advised those who are prone to lose their temper, "it is best to turn your tongue in your mouth a few times before speaking", and use the time buffer to help your mind calm down.When you are about to lose your temper, silently say words such as "calm down and think twice".These methods will help you control your emotions and enhance your brain's rational thinking and self-control.

(2) transfer.When you find that your emotions are agitated, in order to avoid losing your temper, you can consciously change the topic or do something else to distract yourself; divert your thoughts and feelings to other activities, so that your tense emotions become Relax.For example, find someone to talk to or go for a walk, or simply go for a few laps on the playground to express your feelings in another way.This calms the mind.

(3) Flexible.There are many things that can be solved in a variety of ways. When you encounter problems, you should act flexibly and don't be so rigid. Sometimes you can give in and give both parties a chance to change their minds and attitudes. When choosing a method, you must consider the effect of the matter.If you can take a step back, take a step back, as the saying goes, "endure the calm for a while, and take a step back to broaden the sea and the sky."

4. Consider the problem from another angle and be considerate of others' feelings
Everyone should have a little "magnanimity", that is, tolerance; to be "lenient to others, strict with oneself", and not to blame others at will.It is extremely impolite to lose your temper over a trivial matter.You are angry, discouraged, and happy, but this kind of happiness is based on the pain of others.How would you feel if someone lost their temper with you?Therefore, a person who always thinks about others and is considerate of others, even if he is unhappy, will not blame others, let alone impose his unhappiness on others.

5. Listening to music can regulate your mood
People are easily excited and excited, so when you have time, you should listen to music with beautiful melodies, elegant tones, and beautiful and relaxing music. This is also helpful for stabilizing your emotions and changing your irritable temper.Changing your short temper will make you more rational.

Impulse is not terrible, what is terrible is that you cannot restrain it.Self-control is very important in life.With enhanced self-control, your brain will form a certain awareness invisibly.And this kind of awareness can make you clearer about your goals, can improve the progress of doing things, and is of great help to your success.Sometimes self-control is very important. It can motivate people to move towards high efficiency, help people solve the problem of procrastination, and avoid procrastination to a certain extent.

(End of this chapter)