Do it and you can beat procrastination

Chapter 14 Don't Be Stubborn!Regret is also a kind of beauty (3)
Everyone has impulses in life, but the key is how you use the ability to recognize, understand, think and be decisive to distinguish right from wrong, stakes and control your behavior.Impulse is a way to vent your emotions, and it is an expression when you are dissatisfied or full of doubts about things.People who are impulsive are often emotional, flushed, and even more exaggerated.Impulsive people generally only stand on their own standpoint, without considering the feelings of others, and do not consider the feelings of others for their own benefit, and the result is often counterproductive.

· Emotions make you and destroy you
Emotion is one of the shallowest and most intuitive emotional reactions that people have to things.It often only starts from maintaining the self-esteem and interests of the emotional subject, and does not consider things complicated, far-reaching and resourceful.Originally, emotion is far from resourcefulness. As the most superficial part of emotion, emotion is the most impetuous part. Therefore, doing things with emotion is irrational.

However, in work, life, and dealing with people, there are countless people who are often "at the mercy" of their emotions. When they get hot-headed and emotional, they can do all kinds of stupid things.For example, because of a harmless conversation, you may fight with others, or even fight desperately; another example, if someone gives a little hypocrisy, your heart will soften, and you will make fundamental mistakes... and so on because of emotional impetuousness, irrationality, etc. And the mistakes he made, ranging from losing the country and the world, to misunderstanding others and himself, are really too numerous to enumerate.After calming down, the person involved will also feel that there is no need to do that, it is entirely because of the temporary emotional restlessness and excitement, which blinded the mind.

If a person cannot control his emotions, he will eventually pay the price for it.In World War I, when Asaf Yaguri, the commander of the German 104th Armored Brigade, encountered the vanguard of the 2nd Infantry Division of the British Army, he became annoyed because he failed to succeed in three attacks, and desperately threw the remaining 3 tanks. All of them were put into the battlefield, but the plan was miserably defeated, and 85 tanks were destroyed within 85 minutes.

Don't be too emotional.Being not good at controlling emotions not only hurts the body, but also keeps people away from the truth, and even becomes the object of manipulation by others.In addition, if smart people are not good at controlling their emotions, they are often more dangerous than ordinary people when their emotions are out of control.As the American sage Emerson said: "Smart people know how to avoid disasters better than mediocre people; but when they are impulsive, smart people suffer more than mediocre people." A good person is a stupid person, a person who can control his emotions and try not to act impulsively is a really smart person.Therefore, if you want to learn to control yourself, you must learn to use rational principles to control and control emotions.

Whether one can manage one's emotions rationally is an important sign of a person's mental maturity.Emotional people will not only keep away from success, but also cause harm to others and bring trouble to themselves because of their immaturity.

Whether you can manage your emotions rationally is still one of the ways to distinguish the strong from the weak.The real weak does not lie in not being able to defeat others, but in not being able to defeat oneself.They are more or less acting as "slaves" of emotions, driven by emotions, and lack the courage and confidence to restrain themselves.The real strong are the masters of controlling emotions. The process of controlling their emotional impulses and inner desires is also the process of overcoming and surpassing themselves. The strong in life refer to them.

Emotions are everything.When you are angry, you can extinguish the anger in your heart; when you are depressed, you can find the strength to fight; when you are bored, you can use time for meaningful busyness; when you are empty, you can enrich yourself; cowardly At that time, you can regain your confidence and set sail... Then, these bad emotions will never bother you, and the reins of life will always be firmly in your hands.

Generally, young people with sensitive personalities and simple minds are easily dominated by emotions and tend to get hot-headed.Ask yourself, do you get hotheaded easily?Are you easily impulsive?Check what wrong and stupid things you have done because of this, so as to warn yourself.

If you are struggling to control your emotions, prepare a chart, write down your daily experiences, and control the number of emotions. This method can give you an idea of ​​the frequency and strength of emotional attacks.Once you identify triggers that stimulate your emotions, you can take action to remove them.

· Emotions are contagious

There is a "cat-kicking effect" in psychology. It is said that a father was criticized by the boss in the company, and when he got home, he scolded the child who was jumping around on the sofa.The child was so angry that he kicked the rolling cat beside him.When the cat fled to the street, a truck happened to be approaching. The driver hurriedly evaded, but hit the child on the side of the road.This psychological effect depicts a typical contagion of bad emotions.People's dissatisfaction and bad mood are generally transmitted along the chain of social relations, from high-status to low-status, from the strong to the weak, and the weakest who have nowhere to vent become the ultimate victims.In fact, this is also a contagion of mental illness.

If you regard the boss, father, child, cat, and driver in this effect as different states of a person, then you can clearly see that bad emotions are continuously contagious and accumulated in this way, and the degree is getting worse and worse. deeper.The reason why some people are finally attacked by bad emotions is because the bad emotions have been bothering them, making their mentality always in an unbalanced state, and the whole person is surrounded by bad emotions, like a carrot falling into a vinegar vat, always inside Soaking, it is difficult not to be sour.

A person's emotions are not only his own business, it will form a microclimate to affect others, and will also be affected by other people's emotions. Therefore, emotions are also a kind of productivity.

1930 was the worst year for the U.S. economy.At that time, 1% of the hotels in the United States were bankrupt, and Hilton Hotels also owed a lot of debt.As the boss, Hilton called the employees together and said: "In order to have a day when the clouds bloom and the sun rises in the future, I ask everyone not to put a sad face on their faces, and what they should give customers is always a smile."

It was with this "smiling spirit" that Hilton Hotel had the last laugh.When the U.S. economy recovered, the Hilton Hotel took the lead in booming. At this time, Hilton said to his employees: "Only first-class equipment without a first-class smile is like a garden without sunshine. I would rather live in a hotel with dilapidated carpets." You don’t want to stay in a hotel where there are smiles everywhere, and you don’t want to stay in a place where there are only first-class facilities but no smiles.”

Today, the assets of Hilton Hotel have reached billions of dollars, and its reputation is prominent.Smiles in difficult times have become the driving force and material wealth of today's industrial development!
American psychologist Gary Smail's long-term research found that if a person who was originally in a good mood and cheerful, gets along with a frowning, depressed person all day long, he will soon become depressed; a person's sensitivity The stronger the relationship and sympathy, the easier it is to be infected with bad emotions, and this contagion process is done unconsciously.

If a student who is not depressed shares a dorm with another student who is depressed, that student will often become depressed as well.

In the family, if someone is depressed, their spouse is also prone to emotional problems.A study by another professor of psychology in the United States proved that as long as 20 minutes, a person can be infected by the depression of others.In social interactions, if you like and sympathize with someone, you are especially susceptible to that person's emotions.

So, for people who can't control themselves and often vent bad emotions in their families and workplaces, and create emotional "pollution", how should they "diagnose and treat" this "virus" that endangers interpersonal relationships?

The most important thing is to let yourself learn to be happy, and turn the "pollution source" of negative emotions into the "source of transmission" of positive emotions.However, someone said that there are so many unsatisfactory things in reality, how can you make me happy?
A psychological counseling center once run by a couple of psychologists is crowded with customers every day, and the appointment number is often queued for several months.The reason why the couple are popular is simple. They let every consultant who comes to the door often practice a homework: finding reasons to smile.

(End of this chapter)