Do it and you can beat procrastination

Chapter 7 The Horrible Truth: How Deeply Procrastination Has Killed You (1)
People often say such a sentence: "Procrastination is equal to death." Death is scarier.If you delay once, you will delay again and again; if you delay one thing, you will delay everything; in the end, it will lead to a tragic life!If you haven't realized the negative effects of procrastination, you really need to know the terrible "truth".

Full of frustration and loss of motivation

Eisen is a graphic designer in an advertising design company. He is absolutely diligent in his usual work. In order to complete the client's request on time, he often even works all night long.But in the eyes of his colleagues and leaders, he is not an outstanding graphic designer at all.

Analyzing his true heart, Eisen is also one of the victims of failure phobia.He was recognized as an excellent member in the university, and he was very serious in his studies, and with his own efforts, he was admitted to a well-known art academy with fierce competition.However, everyone's recognized excellence has become a kind of spiritual shackles. Eisen is afraid that he will make mistakes, and that everyone will no longer recognize him as an outstanding person.In order to alleviate this inner fear and fear, he often struggled with procrastination. In order to design unique works or cope with exams, he often had to stay up all night, but fortunately, his performance has been very good.

After graduation, Eisen joined a well-known advertising design company under the envious eyes of his classmates. At that time, he was full of pride and looked forward to becoming the chief designer.However, the reality is often much crueler than the dream. In his usual work, the advertising proposals he designed are often rejected by the clients. Sometimes the clients are still dissatisfied after racking their brains and working overtime to make several proposals.Physical exhaustion and frequent mental setbacks made Eisen more and more afraid of failure: "Why do my design works always fail to win the approval of customers? Am I really bad? I am the best in the class What should I do if no one else has developed well at the class reunion at the end of the year?” This kind of psychological burden made Eisen feel more and more tired, and as time went by, he felt that he could no longer bear this kind of burden. The psychological burden of fear can be delayed for a while, so I suffer from serious work procrastination.

In the past, as soon as he received the design proposal, Eisen would act immediately, but now he often waits until the client calls to ask for the design work, and then rushes to work overtime to design.As everyone knows, in such a limited time, it is often more difficult to find design inspiration, and the creativity of the work cannot be guaranteed.In the end, customers have to modify repeatedly because of dissatisfaction, and then fall into a vicious circle.These disturbing facts are causing headaches. Eisen always feels extremely frustrated in these trivial and complicated tasks, but he doesn't want to admit that he is not capable of working well, so he always falls into a stalemate of procrastination.Eisen's fear of failure leads to procrastination, but he doesn't know that procrastination often creates greater inner fear.As the deadline for final design submission approaches, Eisen falls into a state of extreme dread, as he has little time left to create a design, let alone a creative one.

A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. If you stop moving forward just because you are afraid of failure, then you can only stay in circles for the rest of your life. Eisen's personal experience is enough to illustrate this point.In fact, in real life, there are countless people like Eisen who have fallen into the abyss of procrastination because of the fear of failure. They spend all their time worrying and fearing, and thus always miss the best time to move forward.

It is human instinct to seek advantages and avoid disadvantages. Fear of failure often makes you choose to escape and retreat unconsciously.And once the motivation to move forward is lost, the result can be imagined.Life is like sailing against the current. If you don’t advance, you will retreat. If you don’t want to be burdened by procrastination, you must learn to overcome the fear of failure.

·The more you want to win, the more you will lose
Mr. Zhou Gucheng was interviewed by a reporter once. The reporter asked him: "What is your way of keeping in good health?" If you don’t maintain your health, you should let your diet, sleep, and activities take their course.” He said it so well, compared to those who took tonics and got sick, those who practiced Qigong and went crazy, and those who died suddenly at the end of long-distance running, and Qin Shihuang, Han Wudi, etc. Those who pursue the elixir of immortality, those who practiced alchemy and took alchemy in the Jiajia Ning State Mansion, finally ate themselves to death... His words are even more profound.

In 1996, the semi-finals of the European Football Championship held in the UK, the two teams were Germany and England.The England team is in excellent form, and they are playing at home again, and they are determined to win.The German team was also at its peak at the time. The two teams had a tie within 90 minutes, and another tie in overtime, and finally had to decide the winner with a penalty shootout.The England team was extremely excited, and the players who scored a penalty kick showed a ecstatic posture, while the German team seemed very calm, and basically did not react when they scored a penalty kick.Later, England lost.A Chinese football commentator said: "The England team wanted to win so much, so they lost instead."

Chester Field said: "People who are full of personality can laugh at winning and losing in life.

They firmly believe that their potential is enough to realize any dream, and think that a successful person surrounded by thousands of losers is not successful. The real successful person only pursues excellence in his own success, and does not base his success on the failure of others superior. "There is an ancient poem that reads: "Looking for spring all day long does not see spring, and straw shoes walk all over Longtou clouds."When I come back, I smile and smell the plum blossoms, spring is already on the branches. "When you desperately seek happiness in the material world, you often ignore your inner world, but when you really calm down and re-examine yourself, you will find that real happiness only comes from your inner peace.

You should have the courage to overcome bad luck, be a strong brave in the face of blows and setbacks, get up again after falling, and meet the challenges of fate with a brave attitude.

Life is short, so it is not difficult to think of the three-course tea of ​​the Bai nationality in Dali, Yunnan. Its characteristics are one bitter, two sweet and three light, which symbolizes the triple realm of life.Only after hard work can happiness come, and then there will be a chic life, and then we will not succumb to the pressure of setbacks, create a great cause, and usher in the glory of life.

·Don’t lose your mood if you lose anything
"You can't lose anything by giving someone a smile, because it will come back." Therefore, you should smile more in life and work.

A man named William Steinha said when talking about his communication experience: "I am a sullen person. In the 18 years of marriage, I seldom smile at my wife. Later, someone encouraged me to smile, and I promised to try. try.

"So, when I got up early the next day and I said hello to my wife, 'Good morning, darling.' and smiled at her, she froze and was amazed.

"I said, 'from now on my smile will become a common thing, don't be surprised.' It turned out that it changed my life. Instead of being depressed in the past, I felt happy and warm at home.

“Now, I smile at everyone and they smile back at me. I can go and talk to disgruntled people with a lighthearted, happy mood, smiling and listening. What used to be a difficult problem is now It is easy to solve. This is the many conveniences and more gains that smiles bring to me. Smiles make me happy, rich, have friendship and happiness. People who can't smile will feel difficulties and inconveniences everywhere in their lives. "

The power of smiling is huge, as long as you are willing to smile to others, others will smile back to you.And for some people, not being able to be with the people and things they like is the root cause of his unhappiness, because he has no source of happiness.

Xiang Ping once had a very melancholy life, the girl he liked didn't care about him, his carefully written manuscript was changed over and over again, and he caught cold repeatedly.At this time, Xiang Ping's good friend said to him: "If you lose anything, you can't lose your mood. Let's let go of some things."

Xiangping decides to change.He no longer looked for the girl, and he immediately sent the manuscript elsewhere, and bid farewell to the once lazy and irregular life, and started playing ball and running every day.As a result, his body changed, and the girl began to care about him... There must be a reason for a person or a thing to make you uncomfortable. I don’t know, but these are not important. The important thing is that it makes you uncomfortable, affects your mood, affects your judgment, and wastes your time and life.

Once there were two prisoners looking out of the window from the prison, one saw the desolate scenery, and the other saw the starry scenery.Facing the same encounter, the former has a negative attitude and sees a desolate and lifeless scene; while the latter holds a positive attitude and sees a bright and starry scene.

A person's life is like a journey, there are countless ups and downs along the way, but there are also endless spring flowers and autumn moons.If you always look at things with a negative and low attitude and lose your fighting spirit, how can your life trajectory be good?But if you can maintain a healthy and upward attitude, even if you are in adversity, there will be a day when "the mountains and rivers are full of doubts and there is no way out, and the willows are dark and the flowers are bright and another village".

Moreover, as far as the actual situation is concerned, although the moaning and wailing of pessimistic and disappointed people can get short-term sympathy and pity, the final result must be the contempt and boredom of others; With hard work and struggle, what you will win in the end will not only be flowers and applause, but also respectful gazes.

Although everyone's life experience is different, fate is fair to everyone. It depends on whether you have a strong heart, a pair of wise eyes, continue to work hard in adversity, and finally succeed.Don't talk about how life treats you, but ask how you treat life.

·Failure is only a temporary setback
Nothing can replace tenacious will and good mental quality.Success in life lies not in never failing, but in never giving up.As long as you get up one more time than you fall down, you are successful.

I often hear many successful people say: "I have failed." This is a heroic declaration and an affirmation of past failures.It's a pity that many people in life say "I have failed", but it is hard to say it. Why?Because they always avoid failure and are afraid of failure, they often look forward and backward before doing something, and hesitate to move forward.In order to avoid failure, they thought of a surefire plan: do nothing!If you don't do things, you can't talk about failure, but you can't talk about success either.Many people in the world have gone through a mediocre life on this road of neither success nor failure.

What is failure?In layman's terms, failure is: a planned plan, which has not been implemented due to various reasons; an expected goal, which has not been achieved due to time delay; It can't go on; a tense game, the result is defeated by the opponent.These few examples can all be called failures.

Failure makes people depressed, makes people lose courage, and in severe cases, they can't get up after a setback. This is from a negative aspect.On the positive side, failure can be motivating, it can inspire greater determination and ability to achieve more brilliant achievements.

It is unrealistic to think that you will never make mistakes until you decide to do something.You're bound to fail in at least one area, because failure is an important part of the process of getting ahead.When trying something new, stick to it, and don't forget the following formula for success:
Fail—try harder; Fail—keep going, be kind to yourself; Fail—keep going until you succeed.

Successful people can succeed mainly because they regard failure as a friend.Failure can "tell" you that what you did was wrong and that you need to think differently next time.Failure can provide valuable information, it is a helpful "guide" for you, not a warning to make you flinch.Successful people fully realize that success is a very long process, and it takes many mistakes as a foreshadowing, stepping on wrong "shoulders to climb up".They understand that making mistakes is a normal part of life, and that they should not be discouraged when they make mistakes; instead, they learn from the lessons they can learn, persevere, and try harder.

And losers don't.Losers see failure as a scourge.When they make a mistake and get stuck, they get completely disheartened.They think that once they take a wrong step and miss once, then everything is irreversible, so they quickly give up trying.At the same time, they think that if what they have done in the past is not perfect, then they are undoubtedly failures.

Those who have long devoted themselves to the study of success point out that failure is really nothing more than a temporary setback.Temporary setbacks are a blessing because they lift you up and redirect your efforts in a different but better direction.

Temporary failure, in the minds of those who are committed to success, will not become permanent failure if you take it as a lesson.Failure becomes a destructive force only when temporary failure is accepted as permanent failure.

Losers often lament the bad fate, and it is true in reality.The introduction of the competition mechanism, the survival of the fittest, will inevitably require better psychological quality.In reality, it often happens that a person is quite capable, but he cannot win in the competition, or even suffers a crushing defeat.The reason is that the psychological preparation for competition is insufficient, and further, it is the fear of failure and lack of confidence.

Failure is used to test successful people, so that they can get fully prepared for their work; failure can experience successful people, so that they can withstand severe challenges.

Battle procrastination skills: effectively overcome the fear of failure
Carlo Dweck, a psychologist at Stanford University, once conducted a study on how to face failure. The results of the study showed that people have two main mindsets when facing failure—a fixed mindset and a growth mindset.

People who face failure with a fixed mindset are more likely to fall into the abyss of failure phobia and procrastination. This is because people with a fixed mindset often believe that intelligence and talents are innate and fixed.Success is to prove your ability, especially when life or work is challenged, you must prove that you are smart and talented.Therefore, such people often cannot tolerate their own mistakes, because once they make mistakes, they will label themselves "neither smart nor talented", which is intolerable, so they are more afraid of failure than ordinary people.In the eyes of people with a fixed mindset, failure is an extremely dangerous thing. As long as they can avoid failure and avoid this terrible fact, they are willing to make any effort and suffer any pain for it. This is the essence of failure phobia. Psychological formation mechanism.

A growth mindset is just the opposite. This is because people with a growth mindset tend to believe that abilities can be developed, and that as long as you work hard and study hard, you will definitely be able to get smarter and better over time.It is normal to not be good at something, and there is no need to be discouraged by it, because as long as you are willing to do it, work hard and learn from it, you can master a new skill.People with a growth mindset don’t take failure too seriously, because in their view, success or failure cannot determine a person’s own good or bad. Failure is just a reason to redouble their efforts, and there is nothing to be afraid of.

(End of this chapter)