Do it and you can beat procrastination

Chapter 8 The Horrible Truth: How Deeply Procrastination Has Killed You (2)
Dweck has shown through his own research results that failure phobia is a derivative and external manifestation of a fixed mentality. If you want to overcome procrastination caused by failure fear, you must learn to look at problems with a developmental mentality.Specifically, what can you do?

1. Only ask about hard work, not about harvest

The reason why people are so fearful of failure is simply because they place too much emphasis on results.In fact, life itself is a journey. The goal ahead is important, but more importantly, don't forget to appreciate the scenery along the way.If you are suffering from procrastination caused by fear of failure, try changing the way you value yourself.

The outcome of some things does not reflect a person's personal worth, and the outcome itself should not be your main concern.What you have learned from it, what you are interested in, what you have improved, and what you have learned, these are the key points, and the result is just a background board.Once the result of success or failure is no longer so important, you will naturally no longer be afraid of failure, and the fear of failure will heal itself.

2. Ability can grow
Although everyone is born with different qualifications, ability is not entirely determined by innate conditions. Modern medicine shows that: a person's character, ability, temper and other characteristics are partly from innate factors and partly from acquired factors.Although innate conditions cannot be changed, you can make up for it through acquired efforts.

Zhongyong in Han Yu's works can be said to be very talented. He can recite poems and fight against each other at a young age, but because of no acquired efforts, he is still "out of everyone" in the end. It is not difficult to see from this that innate ability does not determine a person fate.Ability can continue to grow in your acquired learning. As long as you work hard, you can become smarter and better at something.Therefore, failure is not only nothing to be afraid of, but also can stimulate your learning ability and unyielding spirit, so as to challenge yourself and achieve yourself.

3. Shift emotions
Have you ever been in a bad mood all day, and suddenly a friend says to you, "Let's go hang out?" and your mood suddenly brightens.Change the direction of thinking, and the mood will be relaxed.

Change the direction of your thinking now.You're nervous because you have a hard job that needs to be done on Friday, and you plan to go shopping with friends on Saturday.Then turn your attention from "Friday's work" to "Saturday's fun", so that your excitement will be shifted, and you will seem to be full of energy.

You should learn this method to transform all kinds of bad emotions into a positive attitude to solve problems.If you are always afraid that you will say the wrong thing when you are in a meeting, then organize your thoughts or write a draft before the meeting, concentrate on listening to others, extract information that is beneficial to you from his language, or take time to think of something that will distract you. Nervous thing.

4. Have courage
Whenever a negative thought arises, you should find a way to dispel it.But in fact it is not that simple to do, you have to be determined to do it.

Lin Xiao works hard as an administrative supervisor in a large company, but Lin Xiao is a person who lacks courage.

He has a crush on a female colleague in the same department and wants to date her.But his doubts hold him back: "It's not a good idea to date a co-worker" or "It's embarrassing if she doesn't say yes."

Later, Lin Xiao suppressed the worries in her heart and mustered up the courage to ask her out on a date. She said, "Lin Xiao, why did you wait so long to ask me out?"

It goes without saying that he succeeded.

5. Set aside

I don’t know if you’ve ever had this experience: Every night, lying in bed, you can’t fall asleep: “Am I being too strict with my children?” “Did I return all the calls today?”

Finally, you can't take it anymore, and you simply stop thinking about the upset and instead think about the happy time you spent with your children at the zoo.You remember the way she laughed at the orangutan, and soon your mind is flooded with beautiful memories, and soon you're falling asleep.

The truly successful people in life have realistic self-control. They objectively seek the meaning of life, cherish every minute, and regard every minute as their last moment, so they often seek better things , Will not waste a little precious time on dealing with all kinds of bad emotions.They have qualities that earn them the love and respect of others, and the key is that they are always strong and resilient.This is a result of their good emotional control.Success does not mean that you have to "step on your opponent" when you win, but to overcome your negativity and move forward with positive actions so that you can have a confident and enterprising life.

"Give me another week and I'm sure I can do better." Stop using such excuses to paralyze yourself.You just dare not face your true self, admit that you are an ordinary person, a person with ordinary qualifications, there is no shame or humiliation, after all, there are only a few real geniuses in the world.Sun Tzu said in the Art of War, "Know the enemy and know yourself, and you will never be imperiled in a hundred battles." If you don't even have the courage to objectively know your true self, and always overestimate your own strength everywhere, how can you succeed?
Mediocrity: willing to be mediocre, accomplishing nothing

In the same lifetime, some people have created countless miracles with their own hands, while others have lived in a daze for decades; the same is 1 hours a day, and some people make full use of every minute and every second. ” while others spend their time in pointless busyness.

Looking back on my school days, almost everyone has such a classmate: he always worked very hard, wrote several neatly written notes, and listened very carefully in class. What’s even more rare is that he insisted on reading until late at night almost every day .However, this classmate's test scores are astonishing every time, and sometimes you even feel unfair for him.In fact, there are many such people in the workplace. They are almost the first to come to the office and the last to leave, but the strange thing is that they are still the worst at work.

Why exactly?Why are diligent and busy people not only not getting the rewards they deserve, but the busier they are, the worse they are?In fact, not all hard work will be rewarded accordingly. No matter how hard-working the donkey is, it will just circle in place. If you can’t grasp the key points of things, then even if you spend your whole life running around, it will be difficult to make any achievements. .

· Huge crowd of mediocrity

In real life, the group of mediocrity is quite large: no goals, no dreams, no beliefs, no motivation, no thoughts... This is almost the true spiritual portrayal of most people.Society is like a big dye vat. Everyone who comes with a dream will be worn away by reality and day-to-day work. Over time, he will become a "robot" and live in paralysis all day long. middle.

"Work hard? What does it mean to work hard? I don't even know where to start."

"What can I do if I change my job? Instead of working step by step like this, instead of tossing back and forth, it's better to continue to work in a muddle! Where is it to dawdle? It's not dawdling!" Let’s talk about it when you’re about to be fired!”

… It is because of no purpose, lack of motivation, and lack of opportunity that you gradually become a member of the army of mediocrity.

In the book "How Steel Was Tempered", the protagonist Paul Korchagin said, "Life is only once for everyone, and a person's life should be spent like this: Looking back on the past, he will not waste his time because of And remorse, and you will not be ashamed of doing nothing." If you are still complacent about your lazy cleverness and making excuses for your procrastination, then what will your life be like?Sitting in a rocking chair when you are old and looking back on your young years, how would you feel when you faced the mediocre you?
Ups and downs are life. When it is time to be decisive, cut through the mess quickly instead of procrastinating; when it is time to seize the opportunity, seize the opportunity instead of hesitating and missing the best time.Looking at the successful people recognized by the public in the society, some people tend to say sourly: "They are just lucky enough to encounter good opportunities." Opportunities are always reserved for those who are prepared. In front of different people, mediocre people often lose opportunities because they bury their heads in meaningless work. In the end, they will end up empty-handed and achieve nothing; while those with clear goals can quickly seize opportunities and change their destiny.

Although the state of inactive work is not procrastination in the strict sense, it is more harmful than procrastination.It will consume people's willpower like a frog boiled in warm water, blur your original sensitive judgment like a fog, and turn you into a workplace "robot" without perception, response, and thought.Looking at the successful people in all walks of life throughout the ages, all of them are people with a strong sense of professionalism.It is impossible for a "robot" without a "brain" to win in the fierce competition. If you want to get rid of this bad working state, you must always work with your "brain" and "thoughts".

· It is risky to follow the trend

In the face of expensive villas, how many people will feel inferior or frustrated because of their deflated wallets, and even fall into the abyss of self-pity: "Why is God so unfair, why didn't I be born into a rich family?" What about it?" "Anyway, no matter how hard you work in this life, you can't afford it, so what's the point of working hard? Just spend your days in a muddle-headed way!" "Let's pin our hopes on the children. That’s all.” But is this kind of self-comfort really useful?
Life is about struggle, one's background cannot be changed, and there is no point in complaining blindly.But as long as you refuse to follow the crowd and become a mediocre person, it is not impossible to change your destiny.

Alan and Ayu followed their fellow countrymen from the mountains to the city to seek development. Both of them are girls who dropped out of school due to family poverty. They both want to find a job with good salary in the city, where they can take root and live a happy life. .With the help of their fellow countrymen, the two entered the same hotel as cleaners. In order to save money, they even rented a house together.Although the starting point of the two people is almost exactly the same, their later encounters are completely opposite. Five years later, Alan became the manager of the service department of the hotel, married a lawyer, and lived the happy life he once dreamed of. But she is still an ordinary cleaner.

They are obviously girls with similar conditions, why is there such a big gap after just a few years?This has to mention the work attitude of the two.

Alan has never been a follower. Although she is just a small cleaner, she is not lazy like everyone else, and she can work less when she can, and she will not work secretly because she works less and gets paid more. complacent.In order to achieve her goals, she not only takes the initiative to work hard, but also actively contributes to hotel development and management.Considering the lack of academic qualifications and knowledge, Alan also studied the adult education courses of hotel management in his spare time and obtained relevant academic qualifications.

The service industry has always had strict requirements on the behavior of employees. Although Alan is not in this category as a cleaner, she does not want to be a cleaner for the rest of her life. Seeing that the leaders of the hotel behave elegantly and speak well, Alan also began to consciously correct herself native accent and bad behavior habits.

Ayu is just the opposite. She indulges in her dreams all day long, but in real work, she often "becomes a monk hitting the clock".Why are those high-level leaders able to get in and out well and earn a lot of money, but they can only clean here?The more I think about it, the more unbalanced I become, and the more I think about it, the less motivated I am to work, so I can make do with it, and I don’t do it if I can’t.Therefore, Ayu completely immersed himself in the illusory worlds such as romance novels and TV dramas, wasting countless time in vain.

In fact, there are countless people like Ayu who are frustrated in reality but unable to face it, and can only choose to paralyze themselves and follow the crowd.Little do you know that it is this "ostrich" evasion mentality that makes you gradually develop the habit of procrastinating and irresponsible work, so that you seem to be "possessed by the spirit" and everything goes wrong.

You don’t have to complain about the injustice in life, because you are doing nothing in procrastination and self-paralysis, and you can’t accomplish anything; or you can seize the opportunity in real life and change your destiny, the choice is entirely in your own hands.In your limited life, everything you do will be risky, but if you do nothing and settle for mediocrity, that is the biggest risk.

"Break" the black hole and dare to take risks
Life is complex and ever-changing.In the face of diverse life, how to succeed?The successful answer is: As long as you are alive, you should create and develop.

If your life is always stable and the same, what is the difference between living like this for 100 years and living for one day?Everyone hopes to live a long life, live a good life, and hope that a new pattern will emerge in the near future, which requires breaking stereotypes and bad habits.

You don't know what the future looks like, but at least you should understand that there is the possibility of success and the possibility of failure in the future.The future is like a black hole of ignorance, it is up to you to "break" it and fill it with sunshine and hope. "Breaking" a black hole is not easy, it requires a spirit of adventure.Kant said: "There is a tendency in the human heart to pursue infinity and eternity. The most intuitive manifestation of this tendency in reason is adventure."

Without countless adventures, it is impossible for human beings to evolve from the era of drinking blood to today's era of sitting in a central air-conditioned house and drinking coffee.Columbus discovered the New World, Zheng He's voyages to the West, Nobel invented dynamite, and Copernicus founded the theory of celestial motion. These famous events in history all began with adventures.Without the spirit of adventure, human beings will not create, and there will be no social reform.Only after having a sense of risk, daring to doubt and breaking the past order, and winning through taking risks, can one enjoy the joy of success.

You're up for adventure anytime, anywhere.In ancient times, if you wanted to ride a horse, you had to put aside any thought of accidents that might happen.Because to avoid the danger of falling from horseback and breaking your leg, there is no other way but to walk on two feet.

However, there are times when walking hurts, so in order to hurry, you have to take risks.Some people think that this situation is just optimistic thinking in an era when horses were the only means of transportation.As everyone knows, in such a developed era, there are still risks in going out.

If you are afraid of frequent traffic accidents and dare not go out, you will have to stay at home dull all day long.However, staying at home, apart from the crisis of food shortage, still does not obtain absolute security.

Goethe hoped to become a world-famous painter when he was young, so he was always addicted to the ever-changing world and couldn't extricate himself. At the age of 40, Goethe traveled to Italy and saw real masterpieces of art. He finally woke up like a dream, so he gave up painting and turned to literature.Although he knew he was taking a risk, he thought there was no turning back.After continuous learning and exploration, Goethe later became a great poet.

Throughout the history of the successes of Chinese and foreign celebrities in ancient and modern times, most people have experienced adventures. Marx used to be a poet, Lu Xun went to Japan to study medicine, and Andersen was an actor. to adjust their direction.

Going from adventure to success requires a process, even a painful and costly process of exploration.Goethe once said with emotion: "It is not easy to 'discover myself', and I spent almost half my life." He also said: "It requires great willpower. Only through joy and pain can you learn what to pursue and what to do. Should be avoided."

(End of this chapter)