The world's greatest get rich bible

Chapter 71: Know Your Enemy, Understand Yourself: Be an Intentional, Highly Skilled Communicator 4
Volume 5 Chapter 4 Know Your Enemy and Understand Yourself: Be a Highly Skilled Communicator with Heart [-]
Acting as a bosom friend at the right time

Everyone longs for a bosom friend, so the investment in this area is definitely worthwhile. It can enable you to grasp the real crux and greatly increase the number of emotional passbooks.

-- "The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People"

There is a Western proverb: "God gave us two ears, but only one mouth. His intention is to make us speak less and listen more." Everyone wants to be understood, and is eager to express themselves, but neglects to listen.Learning to listen is an effective way to break through communication barriers. When you step out of your own small world, try to stand in the shoes of others, and be a good listener, you will be able to become a popular communication expert and win more friends.

In interpersonal communication, everyone hopes that others can listen to their own words, which is a normal psychological desire.But if a person keeps highlighting himself, putting himself first, and telling his own stories and opinions, then others may become rebellious and eventually even bored because of too much "absorption".Others also need to communicate, need to be listened to by the other party, and also have the desire to be paid attention to.So when you can’t help but talk, you might as well put yourself in the shoes of others and try to calm down and listen to what the other person has to say; especially when the atmosphere of the conversation is awkward, you should treat it with a calm attitude and show your sincerity and enthusiasm. Play the role of the other party's bosom friend at the right time.

Mr. Covey once heard such a thing recounted:

There is a small company that works with a national financial institution.While negotiating, the large organization sent a delegation of eight people.Those eight people looked menacing, spoke arrogantly and rudely, and had a somewhat domineering posture.The negotiators of this small company were very angry. They discussed that if the other party's request was too harsh and could not achieve mutual benefit, no matter how big the business was, they would not agree.

The next day, negotiations began.As the host, the general manager of this small company first said: "Please draw up a draft agreement according to your own ideas. We are willing to seriously consider your needs and ideas, and then put forward opinions, and we will discuss together."

The low profile shown by the general manager surprised the other party, but they still talked about their visions.From the beginning to the end, under the instruction of the general manager, all the participants of this small company still listened carefully and patiently to the other party's statement, and exchanged their opinions with the other party in a timely manner.The originally tense and awkward atmosphere was resolved like this.In the end, the other party not only did not make any harsh demands, but readily agreed to the conditions proposed by this small company.

In this story, the general manager, Covey, is well versed in the way of listening. He knows that only by showing his sincerity and understanding to the other party can he win the other party's favor and realize his goals more easily.

Listening to others is a respect for others, and at the same time, you can better grasp the useful information in the other person's words.At the same time, be careful not to interrupt others' conversations at will, so as not to take the meaning out of context.

The well-known American host Linklater once interviewed a little boy, he asked: "What do you want to be when you grow up?"

The little boy replied: "Well... I want to be the pilot of the plane!"

Linklater then asked, "What would you do if one day your plane's engine died while flying over the Pacific Ocean?"

The little boy thought for a while: "I will tell all the passengers to fasten their seat belts first, and then I will hang up the parachute and jump out."

When the audience at the scene was laughing, Linklater continued to watch the kid, trying to see if he was a smart guy.Unexpectedly, amidst the laughter of the crowd, the child turned red and shed tears.

Linklater continued to ask him, "Why are you doing this?"

"I'm going to get fuel, and I'll be back!" the child replied loudly, wiping away tears.

If Linklater laughed at the kid as the audience did, instead of caring what he thought, it would kill his innocence and distort his good intentions.

Listening is beautiful, and a good listener is charming.Listening is the most beautiful note in interpersonal communication. Only by learning to listen and understand can we truly approach others in life and improve efficiency and effectiveness in work.

(End of this chapter)