sister carrie

Chapter 40 (2)

Chapter 23 A Soul in Throat: Future Destiny (2)
"Didn't think so!" said Carrie, now irritated by the man's attitude. "Of course not. You only think of things that please you. You think you can play with me--as a plaything. Well, I'm going to tell you that you can't do it. I'm done with you. You might as well take back your obsolete things and keep them to yourself." Taking off the little brooch he gave her, throwing it on the floor viciously, and standing up, as if wanting to take all her own things received together.

This made Drouet not only disgusted, but irritated.He looked at her in astonishment, and then said:
"I don't know what reason you have to get angry. I have legitimate reasons. If I do things for you like this, you shouldn't do inappropriate things."

"What have you done for me?" asked Carrie.She was so annoyed that her head was thrown back and her lips parted.

"I see you've done a lot," said the salesman, looking around. "I gave you all these clothes you asked for, didn't I? I've taken you wherever you're going. You Own as much as I do, and more than I do."

Carrie was not ungrateful, though what one might say about her.In her heart, she recognized the benefits she had received.She didn't know how to repay this, but on the other hand, her anger hadn't subsided.She thought the salesman had hurt her beyond repair.

"Did I ask you?" she replied.

"Well, I gave it," said Drouet, "and you took it."

"You talk as if I wanted it from you," said Carrie. "You're standing here now, boasting of what you've done. I don't want your shit, I don't want it." .You can take it tonight, and you can deal with it as you like. I can't stay here for a minute."

"That would be great," he replied.Now aware of the looming loss, he's fired up, "It's just like a woman to eat it all, then spoil me, and walk away. When you have nothing , I took you; and then someone else came, and I was no good. Ah, I've been thinking, that's how it might end."

He felt genuinely hurt at the thought of being treated in this way, and looked as if he now had nothing to complain about.

"It's not like that," said Carrie. "I didn't go with anybody. You've been mean and heartless to the last degree. I hate you, I tell you, and I don't want to be with you any more. Stay one more minute. You are a big deceitful—” At this point, she hesitated, not knowing what words to use—“otherwise you wouldn’t speak in this tone.”

She found her hat, coat, and threw it over her tight evening dress.A few locks of wavy hair hung loose on one side of her head and fell over her flushed cheeks.She is angry, she regrets, she is sad.Tears of grief were streaming from her large eyes, but the lashes were not yet wet.She was in a trance of grief, in a trance, without purpose in her movements, and could hardly see what the end of the whole disaster was going to be.

"Well, that's a nice ending," said Drouet. "Pack up your stuff and make your way, eh? You've got the best of both worlds. I'll bet you'd be messing around with Hurstwood, or you'd It won't look like this. I don't want these broken rooms anymore, you don't have to open the way for me. I don't care if you use it well. But God, you can't help me. "

"I don't live with you," said Carrie. "I don't want to live with you. Since you've been here, you've done nothing but bragging."

"Oh, that's never happened to me," he replied.

Carrie moved toward the door.

"Where are you going?" he said, taking a step forward and blocking her.

"Let me out!" she said.

"Where are you going?" he repeated.

After all, he was sympathetic, and the sight of Carrie wandering about, not knowing where she was going, moved him, notwithstanding his complaints.

Carrie was still pulling at the door.

However, she couldn't bear this situation.She pulled it again, and when it didn't work, she began to cry.

"Oh, be sensible, Carrie," said Drouet mildly. "What are you rushing out for? You haven't got anywhere to go. Why don't you stay here and be quiet? I won't trouble you, I won't." I don’t want to stay here anymore.”

Carrie cried from the door to the window, and she was too distressed to speak.

"Be reasonable, all right," he said. "I don't want to hold you. If you want to go, you can go. But why stop thinking about it? God knows, I don't want to stop you."

He didn't get an answer.Under the influence of his entreaties, however, Carrie was calming down.

"You stay here, I'll go," he added later.

Carrie had mixed feelings.It was as if her mind had drifted away like a boat from that little logical anchorage.She was agitated when she thought of it this way, and angry when she thought of it that way--the injustices of herself; the injustices of Hurstwood; the injustices of Drouet; the injustices outside The society is a threat to her future; she has suffered major setbacks before; the current situation in the family cannot last long; even the house can no longer be her own confidently; all these have their own reasons. , she couldn't bear it mentally: all this made her bewildered like a pile of tangled ropes, like a small boat, far away from the port, and the storm hits, and there is nothing to do but float where it is.

"Hello," said Drouet.After a while, he came to her with a new thought, and put his hand on hers.

"No," said Carrie, drawing away without removing the handkerchief from her eyes.

"Don't take this quarrel to heart, all right. Let it go, you might as well stay here for a month. Then you can decide what's better for you. Eh?"

Carrie made no answer.

"You'd better do it this way," he said. "You don't have to pack up now. You ain't going nowhere."

He still hadn't heard an answer.

"If you do that, then, let's not talk about anything else for now, and I'll go out."

Carrie moved her handkerchief a little and looked out of the window.

"You do it, okay?" he asked.

Still no answer.

"Okay?" he repeated.

She just stared blankly at the street.

"Oh! come on," he said, "tell me, is this the way to go?"

"I don't know," whispered Carrie, and she was obliged to answer.

"Promise me you'll do this," he said, "and we'll stop talking. It's best for you."

Carrie heard what he said, but could not bring herself to turn the corner to answer him logically.She felt that this man's character was still noble, and his affection for her had not diminished, which made her quite regretful.She was really poor enough at this moment.

As for Drouet, his attitude had always been that of a jealous lover.His present feelings were mingled with anger at being cheated, sorrow at the loss of Carrie and bitterness at the loss of the battle.He demanded some form of vindication of his rights, and that included protecting Carrie and making her realize her mistakes.

"Are you doing this?" he insisted.

"Well, let me see," said Carrie.

In this way, the problem is still not solved as before, but it is better after all.It seemed as though the quarrel would pass, if only they could find a way to say something to each other.Carrie was shy, and Drouet was distressed.He pretended to pack some things into his travel bag.

Carrie glanced at him now, and suddenly some reasonable thoughts arose in her mind.It was his fault, it was, but what had he done? Despite his selfishness, he was kind and kind.In the quarrel, from the beginning to the end, he never said a foul word.On the other hand, there was Hurstwood—a greater liar than he was.He pretended to be extremely affectionate and swore to each other, but he kept lying to her.Oh, heartless man, and she loved him.It can't go on like this anymore.She did not want to see Hurstwood again.She would write to him and tell him what she thought.What was to be done then? There were still these rooms, and Drouet was before him, begging her to stay.It was obvious that things could go on largely as before, provided everything was arranged.It's always better than wandering the streets with no shelter.

While Carrie was thinking of this, Drouet was digging through drawers for shirt collars, and fumbling here and there for shirt cuff buttons.He needn't be in a hurry to settle the matter.He felt that his attraction to Carrie was not lost.He didn't think it would end the way he walked out the door.There was always a way, there was always a way to make her realize that he was right and she was wrong--to settle the dispute peacefully and get Hurstwood out for good.God, how dreadful is this man's duplicity and shamelessness.

"Would you like," he said, after a moment's silence, "to try it out on stage?"

He was thinking, wondering what was going on in her mind.

"I don't know what I'm going to do yet," said Carrie.

"If you want to do something, maybe I can help you. I've got quite a few friends in the business."

She didn't answer that.

"Don't go, don't go around without money. It's not easy to make a living by yourself."

Carrie just rocked in the rocking chair.

"I don't want you to suffer like this."

He was excited by the thought of some other detail, and Carrie was still rocking.

"Why don't you tell me all about it," he said after a while, "and let's talk about it. You don't really mean anything to Hurstwood, do you? "

"Why are you talking about that again?" said Carrie. "It's all your fault."

"No, it's not my fault," he replied.

"Yes, you're to blame, too," said Carrie. "You shouldn't have made up such a story for me."

"But you haven't much business with him, are you?" continued Drouet, anxious to hear a denial from her, and to gain his own peace of mind.

"I don't want to talk about it," said Carrie, feeling sick at this comical turn in an arrangement which had been settled not to quarrel.

"What's the good of doing it these days, Carrie?" insisted the salesman, stopping his packing, and raised a hand for emphasis, "You should at least let me know where I am. "

"I don't," said Carrie.She felt that there was no way to escape except to get angry, "No matter what happens, it is your fault."

"Then you are interested in him?" said Drouet.I let go of everything I had done to tidy up, only to feel a burst of anger welling up in my heart.

"Oh, shut up!" said Carrie.

"Well, don't make fun of me for a fool," cried Drouet; "you can hang out with him if you like, but you can't make me go with you. You tell me more than you tell me." I, as you like, I don't want to be a fool anymore!"

He stuffed the few things he had spread out into the travel bag, and snapped it hard.Then he grabbed the coat that he had taken off during tidying up, picked up the gloves, and walked out.

"Fuck you, I don't care," he said as he reached the door, "I'm not an idiot." As he spoke, he flung the door open and slammed it shut again.

Carrie listened at the window, surprised at the salesman's sudden outburst.She couldn't believe her feelings—he was always so good-natured and easy to talk to.The causes of human passions were beyond her comprehension.The flame of true love is a delicate thing indeed.It is like a will-o'-the-wisp, appearing and disappearing from time to time, drifting towards a happy fairyland.It roars like a furnace, fueled often by envy.

(End of this chapter)