my old life

Chapter 287 Special Day

Otherwise, people's hearts are not old...

But her enthusiasm far exceeded my imagination.

I don’t know why I suddenly thought of Sakura, and remembered how passionate she used to be. This moment is like that moment. After twelve o’clock, she gave me my first birthday present, so I’ll accept it. ...

But soon she discovered something, I lied to her just now, I taught her a good lesson!
The night is blurred and time is flowing slowly. In the quiet night, the raging heart seems to melt everything. A cigarette can relax the nerves of the whole body, and fall into a drowsy sleep...

Woke up early in the morning, dizzy.

I don't know if it's because I drank too much last night or because I was too hard and I was a little hypoxic. I habitually lit a cigarette to refresh myself. Looking at the hair on the bed, I felt that everything was like a dream.

The sky outside the window was gloomy and depressing, and the cold wind kept blowing in through the window. I shivered when I closed the window.

Before you know it, it's autumn. It seems that summer watermelons are gone before you can eat them. It seems that you can't sell popsicles before you eat them. Time flies!
I lit a cigarette and looked out the window. I felt an inexplicable desolation in my heart. I felt very comfortable in the emptiness. A window separated me from the outside world.

Today is a very special day, but I can't be happy, I didn't tell anyone that today is my birthday except my second uncle.

Every year on this special day, I always feel a lot of emotion. I can always think of the people and things in the past, and those smiling and kind faces, but now they have already disappeared in the morning breeze...

I used to always look forward to growing up early, thinking that I can have my own world after I grow up, I think that I can have countless wonderful things after I grow up, but now I don’t think so, time has taken away a lot of precious things, looking back at the time passed so fast.

Perhaps the most painful thing about growing up is that you don't want what you couldn't get before, and you can't reach what you used to have within your reach, and you can't meet again in this life.

Looking back on the road of gambling all the way, everything seems to be fleeting. Before I know it, more than two months have passed, and I feel that I have changed with the passage of time.

If it wasn't for the alcohol last night, maybe it wouldn't be what it is now. I turned my head to see that Xiaoru was still asleep, and I lightly extinguished the cigarette butt and walked into the bathroom.

I modified the camouflage of the human skin mask a little, and I didn’t feel particularly depressed when I didn’t take it off all night. Maybe this is the preciousness of the human skin mask, which has good air permeability.

Clean up and leave the room quietly, maybe the next time I appear in Yemei Nightclub I will not have the same face, this face seems to have disappeared from the world.

A face can represent a person, no matter how many faces you change, you can't change your heart, you can't break free from those shackles and shackles, and those unfinished things.

I called Su Yurong, thinking about my plan for today, I think it's time to find Shi Qi, it's time to tell her what I think in my heart, and I should also break free from the shackles on my body.

After being threatened by Brother Bin, I know how to treat her well. The best way to protect her is to stay away from her. This is an unchangeable fact.

Maybe the wandering prodigal son is destined to be unable to stop, and there is still a long time to go in front of me. No matter what kind of danger I encounter, I don't want anyone to be implicated.

Standing in front of the glass window in the lobby of the hotel, unknowingly there is light rain outside the window. The raindrops gently hitting the ground make people feel extra peaceful. I like rainy days very much. It always makes people feel calm and it is easier to think of the past thing.

Looking at the rainy day outside the window, let the time pass slowly, doing nothing at this moment can make people feel relaxed, and there is nothing in my heart. Compared with most people, I am more relaxed.

Soon Su Yurong came, and the BMW slowly drove to the hotel entrance.

As soon as I opened the door, I smelled a smell of rain, and the cool wind shook my spirits. I looked up at the sky, and it was really autumn rain and cold.

"How was last night?" Su Yurong asked calmly, and I nodded with a smile.

"Let's go." I lay comfortably on the back seat of the car and stretched. I will come sooner or later.

It’s not bad to just choose a special day like today, at least it will remind me of her every year in the future, and the sincere and pure relationship I once had.

Light rain all the way, the gloomy sky is like my heart, calm and depressing, my heart is very calm without any waves.

I know that I have to face what I have to face. After being threatened by others, I don't want to let myself be controlled by others, and I don't want Shi Qi to be implicated in any way.

Now I vaguely understand the intention of Sixteenth Sister in everything she did. She stayed away from me just to protect me better. This kind of intention cannot be understood without personal experience.

It's just that after staying away from Seventeen, how can I have the nerve to speak to Sixteen?What's more, there is still an insurmountable gap in front of us.

When I came to the door and called Shi Qi, I thought it would be better to talk to her during the day, at least she could have someone to comfort her, it was better than spending the long night by myself.

"Are you going to see Seventeen? You'd better remove your disguise." Su Yurong suddenly reminded me, and I realized that I was still wearing a human skin mask.

"Thank you, do you have a moisturiser?" I really ignored this very important matter just now, if you go to see Shi Qi with such a face, you will be shocked by her.

Su Yurong threw over a pack of moisturizing towels, and I wiped off all the camouflage on my face and took off the human skin mask. After wiping my face, I felt that the pores were much smoother.

No matter how breathable the human skin mask is, it is not as comfortable as your own skin in contact with the air. I feel that my face is much refreshed.

"I didn't expect you to buy moisturizing towels. How are you and Xiao Shiwu doing?" I deliberately teased, trying to liven up the dull atmosphere.

"I just have a normal relationship with her. I never use moisturiser. It's for you."

What he said made me stunned. I looked down at the moisturiser in my hand, and it really hadn't been opened. I didn't expect him to be so thoughtful.

I carefully put away the human skin mask, but my mood suddenly became inexplicably complicated. It's not that I want to separate, but I understand that we are not people in the same world.

The human skin mask reminds me what kind of world I am. We will only go farther and farther if we continue. It may be good for each other to let go of the burden in our hearts. As long as she is not implicated, everything is worth it.

I think this may be fate, since I chose to take the old way, I am destined to be different from others, and I am destined to lose some things that I don’t want to lose, including people’s hearts and emotions...

In fact, looking back, who in this world can have smooth sailing?There are bound to be trade-offs when making a choice, as long as you think it is right, you must stick to it!

During the waiting time, I thought of the bits and pieces of the past, the time I spent with her, the time we walked through the alleys at dusk in autumn, and the thought of her hugging me tightly...

She gave me a kiss on a park bench under the sunset sky, she was still so willful and domineering, and she could easily melt my heart.

I have not forgotten this relationship, I will only keep this feeling in my heart, and will not be known by anyone, but will only be buried deep in my heart.

I suddenly thought of my second uncle, thinking that my second uncle has never looked for a wife, maybe he also has an unknown relationship in his heart, and the place in his heart will be reserved for someone, and no one else can be tolerated anymore.

The rain was getting heavier and heavier, and my heart was getting colder and colder, and I even didn't know how to face her.

I don't know how to say the word "separate", although I don't want to but I have to do it, as long as I think it's worth it, I must stick to it!

My world is full of darkness and deceit. I don't want to get Shi Qi involved someday in the future, and I don't want her to be in danger because of me. She should have her own life and live happily in her world.

Many times people are selfish, everything is self-centered, they want to occupy too many emotions, and they want to become a unique existence.

Maybe it's because my emotional intelligence is low, I don't know how to control this relationship, I don't know how to maintain it, but I know it's dangerous and unrealistic to continue.

One is in the ivory tower and the other is in the rivers and lakes. There are always two worlds. If possible, I really want to wait for her, but when the time comes, do I have the heart to drag her into the dark world?
(End of this chapter)