Marriage is too late

Chapter 39

"You can understand this friend of yours in this way." Lin Xuxing stroked Ji Jin's hair, "You came together because of mutual needs at a certain point in time. From the perspective of these things, you don't owe her anything, you don't need to bear the hurt for her, and she doesn't need to bear the guilt for you, we have met and walked our own paths, that's all."

Ji Jin liked Lin Xuxing's statement very much. He had to admit that Lin Xuxing's judgments were often very accurate. Ji Jin rubbed his forehead helplessly: "Later I left City H without saying goodbye. With Tingbai's personality, she Maybe she didn't feel it at the time, but if she thinks about it, she will regret it in the end." But how could she not leave, even if Ji Jin's life was turned upside down because of Qu Tingbai, but in retrospect, Qu Tingbai had too many problems For Jin's own connivance and misunderstanding, after so many years, Ji Jin has never blamed her.

If anyone needs to be blamed, it's my young and ignorant self.Ji Jin lowered his eyelids disappointedly: "Qu Tingbai should think that I was forced away by her and killed by her. In fact, she is a very kind girl in essence, but she is a little paranoid. In terms of the relationship and choice of Qu Tingbai , I made a lot of irrational decisions, looking back now, I could have done a lot of things better, but I didn't." Ji Jin covered his eyes, "People have to pay the price for their choices."

Lin Xuxing feels sorry for Ji Jin's calmness, knowing his shame is almost brave, knowing the mistakes he made and working hard to bear them requires great courage.Even though he was hurt and misunderstood like this, Ji Jin never complained, and if he made a mistake, Ji Jin was willing to bear the burden himself.
Ji Jin curled himself up into a small ball, thinking sadly: "At that time, I thought the most terrible injury did not come from Qu Tingbai. This incident caused the whole school to point fingers at me, and all the girls They ignored me, they isolated me, and taunted me face to face. I couldn’t explain it. Later, when I came to my aunt, on the one hand, because of too much pressure, on the other hand, because of the irregular meals, I fainted in the physical education class and rested at home for two days. Today, when I went back to school, the rumors about me had escalated to being pregnant."

Lin Xuxing could understand how this incident was raging, but he also felt sorry for Ji Jin's previous experience.

"I tried my best to convince everyone, but no one is listening anymore." Ji Jin smiled, calmly and self-deprecatingly, "Including Han Yi, including grandma, all I received was disappointment besides silence."

Lin Xuxing can almost imagine that lonely girl standing in the middle of her youth, surrounded by rumors and attacks, lonely and wronged.

"Even including Qu Tingbai!" Ji Jin looked straight at Lin Xuxing, "In order to avoid being isolated by the rest of the school, she didn't attack me, but she didn't get close to me either. I wrote a small note, saying that in order to avoid suspicion, her mother changed her seat and asked me to hold on. When the matter passes, she will become good friends with me again. No one wants to be at the same table as me, I will be alone like that until I leave City H."

Lin Xuxing's heart was cold, it was really selfish to the extreme, Ji Jin who ignored everything to help her bear everything, many years later, would Ji Jin be satisfied if he forgave all her mistakes with the attitude of a virgin?He didn't even think about how much trouble he might bring to Ji Jin's life by rushing to the door.When Qu Tingbai saw Ji Jin today, he looked as if he wanted to die, and forced Ji Jin to admit his identity, just to find a redemption for himself, not to truly atone for Ji Jin.

"I know Qu Tingbai's side. In the future, it's good not to see people I've known before." Lin Xuxing asked her tentatively, "I'll block it for you, so I promise you don't have to face her again?"

"Okay, give me some time to think about it." Ji Jin said wearily.

"Are you tired?" Lin Xuxing glanced at his mobile phone, it was already late, after a long and deep conversation, time passed silently.

"A little bit." Ji Jin covered her eyes with the back of her cold hand, "But there is Han Yi, I haven't finished yet." Ji Jin hesitated, her biggest worry was that her past would affect Lin Xuxing If she doesn't take the opportunity to clarify the plans and arrangements that are going on now, she is afraid that she will become Lin Xuxing's weakness.

"We still have a long way to go, so we're not in a hurry tonight." Lin Xuxing's tone was still gentle, "You should have a good rest. For today's follow-up visit, the director of surgery also said that you need a good schedule and nutrition. Take your medicine and go early Sleep, we'll talk tomorrow."

"But..." Ji Jin blurted out, and then fell silent again.She nodded, "Okay, tomorrow."

Lin Xuxing carried her into his room, and said "good night" softly.He closed the door and stood leaning against the wall in the corridor outside the door for a long time.

He is resisting to hear about the past between Ji Jin and Han Yi, why?
Across the wall, Ji Jin lay in the dark, with his eyes open, recalling their conversation tonight in the darkness.The past came whizzing by, and Lin Xuxing was the best listener.

These past events have been hidden in Ji Jin's heart for so many years, and even his college roommates and best friends Liu Tiantian and Xu Jingzhen only vaguely know a little bit, so it is the first time in so many years to tell the whole story without reservation.

Ji Jin knew that to prevent himself from influencing Lin Xuxing's plan was one aspect, and the more important reason was that he wanted to tell Lin Xuxing about her past without reservation.No matter how unbearable, painful, and full of pain, Lin Xuxing should know.

Why should Lin Xuxing know?

Ji Jin asked himself that question, and suddenly realized his intentions.Unknowingly, Lin Xuxing became the person with whom she wished to have no secrets.It would be understandable if Lin Xuxing couldn't accept her who had been ridden with rumors, but what if he could accept it?
Was she expecting him to fall in love with her?Fall in love with all of her.

Ji Jin tossed and turned on the bed for a long time without falling asleep. Compared with telling Lin Xuxing about the past, she was more scared to find out what she wanted.She obviously has nothing, and Lin Xuxing has too much, how can she hope for such an impossible result?
After struggling for a long time without falling asleep, Ji Jin was so thirsty that he simply got up and wanted to go to the kitchen to drink a glass of milk.Her crutches echoed slightly in the empty corridor. She didn't turn on the light, and walked at a pace by the faint corridor light.

"What's wrong? Can't sleep?" In the darkness, Lin Xuxing's voice sounded suddenly.Ji Jin was surprised.

Lin Xuxing turned on the floor lamp beside the sofa, he stood up and walked over, supporting Ji Jin: "What do you want?"

"Why haven't you slept yet?" Ji Jin asked him.

"Think about something." Lin Xuxing looked at her quietly, with a complicated expression, and finally said, "When I think about something, I like to sit in the room with the lights off and watch the night outside."

"Go to bed early." Ji Jin resisted talking to him because he was startled by what was on his mind. He lowered his head and turned back to the room.

"Wait, do you want to drink water?" Lin Xuxing held her arm and did not let go.

Feeling that he walked away too deliberately, Ji Jin could only take back his steps and nodded: "Yeah."

"Sit down, I'll be here right away." Lin Xuxing put down her crutch against the wall with ease, and picked her up.

Ji Jin was very flustered. If the previous self was only vaguely aware of the difference in Lin Xuxing's meaning to her, now she already knows the desire in her heart.

It was precisely because of this concern that his heartbeat seemed to be at hand, beating so firmly in such a quiet night.Let her yearn, but also let her fear.She carefully took advantage of the natural bumps of her walk, and put her ear against his chest.

"Is it cold?" Lin Xuxing asked her.Ji Jin curled into his arms like a cat, soft and safe.

"Yeah." Ji Jin replied.

He wrapped her in a blanket: "Wait for me, I'll be here right away." He carefully tucked the blanket around her neckline.

Ji Jin raised her head and smiled, and the night light illuminated her smile, but she still only answered "Yeah".

The temperature of the water was just right, Ji Jin knew Lin Xuxing's thoughtfulness early on.

"Can't sleep?" Lin Xuxing asked her.

"A little bit." Ji Jin is very honest, she has always been so honest when facing Lin Xuxing.

"If I really want to talk, we can continue today's conversation." Lin Xuxing seemed to have made up his mind, but there was still a little hesitation in his tone.

Ji Jin didn't answer, feeling uneasy in his heart.Do you want to tell him?Do you want to show your past unreservedly in front of him?Are you going to be honest about those nightmares you had when you dreamed back in the middle of the night?If he doesn't accept it, how can this rare peace and harmony be maintained?

Ji Jin, who didn't realize her intentions tonight, can confess herself without burden, even if it's for this contract, she shouldn't hide anything.But she hesitated.

Thinking about it carefully, how could a man like Lin Xuxing be so close to him, how could he not be tempted.

Ji Jin lowered his head and replied softly: "Let's talk about it tomorrow, you and I are both tired."

Lin Xuxing seemed to heave a sigh of relief. Ji Jin had never seen him nervous before, so he glanced at him with a little surprise. Seeing that his expression was normal under the night light, he thought he was wrong.

So, there was only a long silence.

For the first time, Ji Jin felt that sitting beside him like this, quietly, without saying anything, felt unprecedentedly at ease.This is obviously a scene they are used to every day, but for Ji Jin at this moment, it feels extraordinarily warm.

"Lin Xuxing." Ji Jin gently called his name.

"Huh?" Lin Xuxing also replied softly.

"You are really a good person." Ji Jin looked at him, as if he had nothing else to say, so he could only repeat this common saying again.

Lin Xuxing sighed: "I'll carry you to sleep."

(End of this chapter)