Women must read: Love depends on robbing, marriage depends on support

Chapter 5 With such scheming, you can plunder his heart (5)

5. The most real panic of "love perfectionists"

A woman is a contradictory and tangled animal.It is tangled not to meet your true destiny, but even more tangled to meet one.

The 28-year-old Xiaoyun went to the temple to ask for a lottery, and soon, she met her true son.

The boy has his own company. Although he inherited the family business, he is not just a parasite like the average "rich second generation".He and Xiaoyun are still alumni, two years older than Xiaoyun, who studied computer.His professional knowledge is very solid, he is also courageous, and he seems to have a bright future.Such a man is hard to find with a lantern.

Look at Xiaoyun again.In fact, she can be regarded as a high-quality leftover woman.She is good looking, 28 years old, looks like 24.The figure is also good.As a planner in an advertising company, texts appear in newspapers and periodicals from time to time.

At this point, everyone understands that Xiaoyun's "leftover" is because she has been "up for sale".

It's not easy for Xiaoyun to say it, a girl as beautiful as a flower and jade, both talented and beautiful, her suitors can't be said to have broken the threshold, at least there have been a few who have tried her best.But Xiaoyun would rather endure loneliness than compromise.

The moment she saw Lu Tao, she really felt that the dust had settled, and it turned out that all the waiting was worth it.That's him.Xiaoyun said silently in her heart.

How wonderful, golden boy and jade girl, a match made in heaven.Seeing this, everyone thought I was telling a fairy tale.However, new entanglements arose.

Xiaoyun looks for me more frequently than in the past, even worse.What is she struggling with?
The other party was so good, she felt that it was not true, and she couldn't believe it.She didn't know what to say in front of him. Every time she saw him, she had to spend a long time dressing herself up for fear of being picked on by him and making a mistake.

She has been trying to figure out his thoughts, for fear of saying the wrong thing or doing the wrong thing.When I go to bed at night, I go over the content of the date during the day. If it’s not good, I can’t wait to wipe it with correction fluid and correct it.

I can't laugh or cry.Xiaoyun suffers from "love perfection phobia".

Where is the source of this symptom?The "inferiority" lurking in my heart.

Yes, low self-esteem, every woman will have feelings of low self-esteem.

Men's low self-esteem is generally based on their own inadequacy, which is rooted in their careers.What women struggle with is whether they are beautiful enough, the root of which is love.

Therefore, women's inferiority complex is shallower, more intuitive, and more sudden than men's.

Men's inferiority complex is relatively strong and fixed, and usually does not depend on the outside world, because they are clear about their goals.For example, how much money do I need to earn, buy a house, and how big is the house?Buy a car, what brand of car?With all this, I am a successful person.Sure enough, no need to argue.

You say to a guy who has nothing, wow, you're such a success.He thought you were mocking him.

But you try to say to a woman who is not beautiful enough, I think you are much more beautiful today, and you are much younger!No matter how outrageous what you say, she will think excitedly, is it true?
A woman's self-confidence is built on sand dunes, and it will be blown away by a gust of wind.

If a man deliberately destroys her, he tells her, you are so sloppy in clothes and have such an old-fashioned appearance, I have seen people who are the same age as you, and you are much older than them.Do you think she will be frustrated and disheartened?

Women always need external approval more than men. The most important part of this is the approval from love.

Let's look back at Xiaoyun. The boys I met in the past praised her because they admired her. Of course, she feels more and more confident.So that when Lu Tao met her, he was deeply attracted by her self-confidence and independence.

But with the deepening of the relationship, her latent inferiority complex raised one after another, which not only made her lose her former liveliness and fun, but also became dull.And she kept paying attention to Lu Tao's small movements.For example, while he went to the bathroom to check his phone.Such small actions are taboo for men with good conditions.

So they gradually had some contradictions.This made Xiaoyun very anxious and panicked.

I told Xiaoyun not to panic, and slowly find the problem in her heart.Allow yourself to settle down.There will be no shortage of flowers and plants around a high-quality man, so he has developed the habit of passively accepting rather than actively striving for it.In other words, it is basically hopeless to expect him to take the initiative to flatter you and help you build self-confidence.

Maybe at the beginning of a relationship, because of the man's hunting nature and the interesting rules of the game, he will take the initiative to fight.But when he was done, he immediately felt that he could retire with success.

At this time, it is precisely the time when the difficulty is the greatest and the elimination rate is the highest.

How to do it?Then you have to rely on your own willpower to restore this confidence.Self-confidence can help you tide over difficulties.

The most effective way to rebuild self-confidence is psychotherapy.

look in the mirror.Yes, face that imperfect self.Of course your face shape, eye bags, and even dark circles earned by staying up late.your thick legs.Neither can be "photographed" by a mirror.

But you have to believe that it is good, it is correct, it is the right state.You can even make bold assumptions about your own aesthetic standards.Popular beauty should be based on you.

Many girls think that winning a man's heart depends on meekness and humility.wrong!Simply the most ridiculous fallacy.

In love, it is better to be arrogant than to be inferior.Because men are utilitarian animals, and their judgment on women has always been superficial.

When you subconsciously think that you are a "defective product of love" and full of "flaws in love", don't worry, he will never be sure that you are a piece of jade in the rough.

He will agree with your judgment and feel that you are actually a defective product.

Hypnotherapy, silently before bed, I am the best, the best.Or tell yourself, isn't he just a man?Isn't it just a nose and two eyes?Ah, smoking and drinking, maybe he took off his stinky socks and threw them on the table.The greatest achievement in this life is to fall in love with my girl.

Sounds crazy, but it works.Let's give it a try.

In short, the real panic of love perfectionists is not facing others, but facing themselves.When she thinks that she is really a "flaw of love", full of imperfections, she is tantamount to helping her opponent to defeat herself.

What defeats you is not the flowers and plants around him, let alone his pickiness, but your lack of self-confidence.

(End of this chapter)