Pain is the best teacher of youth

Chapter 10 An ignorant age, a young relationship (1)
When Pushkin was 14 years old, he wrote his first confession: "A fiery heart has been conquered. I admit, I have fallen in love." , Time slips through our fingers, and we grow and mature in the midst of hesitation and confusion.Perhaps, some flowers bloom too early and are destined to bear no fruit, but whose youth has no regrets?After going through that period of green years, after the mood settled down, I realized that what I was really obsessed with was just the pure, kind and beautiful days when love first opened.

every youth has a story

Her name is Su Ke, a good girl with excellent grades, who is quiet and ladylike; his name is Lei Ming, an underachiever with poor grades and loves to fight.Logically speaking, there would be no intersection between her and him, but her ignorant youthful heart made her fall in love with him uncontrollably for two years.

When she first entered junior high school, Su Ke didn't pay special attention to Lei Ming, and didn't have a deep impression of him.For a period of self-study class, Lei Ming always changed his seat to the back of Su Ke. Of course, he was not to get close to Su Ke, but to laugh, play and chat with the boys at the table behind her.At that time, Su Ke had no choice but to be bored with this boy who had no sense of discipline in class.

At the age of first love, boys are naturally indispensable in girls' topics.There are a few girls with particularly active personalities in the class. Occasionally when they get together, they will talk about some handsome boys in the class, and Lei Ming is also lucky to be among them.Someone downloaded a photo from Lei Ming's space, and everyone took turns to see it, and Su Ke caught a glimpse of it by accident.In the photo, Lei Ming is wearing a solid-color scarf, with no impurities in his smile, pure and natural, Su Ke suddenly felt a heat in his heart; thinking of some of Lei Ming's performance in history class, she felt that this boy was not good enough. As "simple" as it looks.

"Does anyone know where Cairo is?" The history teacher looked around, looking for the person who knew the answer. "Egypt." The voice was a little lazy, but it was exceptionally clear.Following the voice, Su Ke turned his head quickly, and precisely set his eyes on Lei Ming.Lei Ming looked disdainful, but his face was full of uncontrollable confidence, and the corners of his mouth were raised with a slight indifference.Then, the history teacher said: "Okay! What about Tehran? Who knows where Tehran is?" "Iran!" Everyone looked at Lei Ming, even Lu Yue, the top student in the class.Only Su Ke just smiled happily and didn't look back.

In fact, Su Ke didn't have much interest or talent in subjects like history and politics. The reason why she got good grades in every exam was also by rote memorization.Lei Ming seemed to be different. It was rare to see him flipping through textbooks, but he seemed to know a lot about history and politics at home and abroad, so the teacher also liked this boy who was usually lazy.

Su Ke knew that Lei Ming had a crush on Lu Yue.Although it's just unrequited love, it's well known.Lu Yue wrote a good article, her model essay was copied on the manuscript paper, and Lei Ming always had to make a copy; when Lu Yue answered the difficult questions, Lei Ming was more anxious than her.Of course, a top student like Lu Yue would not fall in love early, even though a discerning person could tell, she also had a crush on Lei Ming in her heart.

One day in the summer, the math teacher transferred the morning class to the afternoon because of a temporary errand. The boring numbers made people drowsy, and even Su Ke felt a little irritable. Looking at the words on the blackboard, he always felt blurred .Lei Ming changed the table again and went behind Su Ke. Su Ke, who was sleepy, suddenly turned her head around in a strange way. Out of the corner of her eye, she caught a glimpse of Lei Ming's hands quickly pulling away from her shoulders.She was a little excited and pleasantly surprised, but soon she heard Lei Ming whispering to the boy at the same table: "How is it? That's right! Girls have very good intuition." It turns out that he was regarded as an experimenter by him." Little white mouse".But even so, Su Ke was still a little excited.

Su Ke likes white, and most of her clothes are white.Once, Lei Ming said to Su Ke: "You really have a special liking for white!" Although he said it casually, Su Ke still fell in love with it.She noticed that Lei Ming seemed to prefer blue, so Su Ke also changed her outfit to blue, and finally got a compliment of "so cool".

Later, Su Ke heard that Lei Ming had a crush again, who was the "class flower" from the class next door.Seeing "Ban Hua" enjoying the hot milk tea he sent, Su Ke had to admit that she felt a little envious, even jealous.Just like every woman who falls in love, she, who was originally proud, suddenly feels that she has become a lowly little flower in the dust.Seeing the way Lei Ming greeted "Banhua", she was slightly moved.She thought, Lei Ming may never know why she can maintain the best posture in all classes, and he will never know that there is a girl who silently watches his every move, but never lets him find out any clues.

The boys behind Su Ke began to gossip again. Su Ke pretended to be reciting English words seriously, but her ears and thinking kept following the rhythm of their conversation.Inadvertently, Su Ke heard such a conversation:
The boy at the back table said: "Zhou Li likes Liu Tiantian."

Lei Ming seemed quite interested, and then asked, "What about Sun Xiao?"

"Sun Xiao should like Gu Yating." The boy at the back table seemed to know everything.

"Oh, what about her? Probably not!"

Lei Ming concealed his name on purpose, but Su Ke's heart began to pound. Her intuition told her that 80.00% of Lei Ming was asking about her.The boy at the back table said, "No, I think they might be interested in you."

"Are you kidding me! Don't talk nonsense." Lei Ming interrupted and ended the topic.

Su Ke mentioned the heart in his throat, and finally sank.Fortunately, Lei Ming didn't notice it, otherwise it would be really embarrassing.

Time passed quickly, and before I knew it, it was the second semester of the third year of junior high school.Su Ke still has a faint liking for Lei Ming in her heart, but she knows that studies are more important.When the time for graduation came, all the students in the class began to write their classmates' records. A boy like Lei Ming, who was usually carefree, did not expect to prepare a classmate's book.When Su Ke took the classmate record from Lei Ming, he hesitated for a long time, not knowing how to write.Those pictures in memory, those other emotions in her heart, have always belonged to her alone.After thinking for a long time, she wrote down something like this:

I will always remember the time when I was a classmate with you for three years.I really like your eloquent talk in history class, which brought us a lot of joy.I wish you all the best in your life and studies in the future, and always keep the same smile as you do now.

After writing, Su Ke smiled wryly.Come to think of it, Lei Ming would never notice his hidden thoughts!For him, he is just like most ordinary classmates, and he just wrote such a sentence in his message to himself: May your dreams come true and be happy.His good buddy, Lu Yue, whom he liked, must have received more blessings than himself.But so what?Isn't that popular saying on the Internet - I like you, it has nothing to do with you.

After the high school entrance examination, Su Ke left the scorching furnace city and went to her grandma's house in Weihai.That restless mood, as well as that little unknown secret love, gradually drifted away with the sound of the waves.

Everyone has youth, every youth has a story, every story has a regret, and every regret has its youthful beauty. /Novel "The Year in a Hurry"

some love is just a product of youth

After being divided into the arts and science class in the second year of high school, I became a wild horse who was so lonely that I couldn't find my way.Those friends who were close to me went to science classes one after another. The taciturn I often stared at the textbook alone.Unfortunately, the boring and rigid text did not bring me the slightest comfort.In those days, I always listened to Pu Shu's "Train to Winter" repeatedly.I feel like a train heading for winter, and my heart feels colder and colder in the dark days.

"Tomorrow is a small town without love. I will silently pick up my winter, the tired train, the crowd of strangers, where is the field I used to graze." Youth is always full of reverie.I once imagined that I stepped on the train going south at midnight, and met a lilac-like girl at the end of the train, she walked towards me gracefully, and finally we got off the train together to go to a beautiful distant place.The more lonely I am, the more this incredible thought pops up, and I can't get rid of it no matter what.

I was born in a poor family, and I will never be able to compare with those glamorous and handsome guys. I wear dim and shabby clothes, and my thin body keeps my noble head down.I admit that I have too much low self-esteem in my heart, and only grades can make me shine and be confident for a while.As for love, it is just a fleeting fantasy. It is too extravagant and too far away for me.

There is always a vague shadow in my mind, I am not sure what kind of feeling it is, but I often think of her.Her name is Li Sha, and she is the school committee member of the class.If I want to describe her appearance, I can only say that she looks very much like the girl named Shen Jiayi in "The Girl We Chased Together in Those Years".She is an active literary and artistic element in the school. Every time there is a large-scale performance, she will act as the host, and there is an endless stream of boys pursuing her.Lisa and I have hardly spoken, and I always feel that she is like a beautiful princess and I am like a humble soldier.

One night after self-study, Li Sha came up to me suddenly, sat on the chair in front of my desk, and said to me unexpectedly: "Shen Chen, your name is very nice!" I swear, I was so nervous at that moment. No more, my heart skipped a beat.I don't know whether it was out of inferiority or shyness, I didn't dare to look up at Lisa's face, so I lowered my head and flicked through the book.I can feel that Lisa's breath is very close to me, and her lips, like two slices of pure lemons, exude a faint fragrance.

After a few seconds, I realized: Li Sha is here to collect the tour fee.I quickly took out the tour fee I had prepared from my pocket and handed it to her.Li Sha wrote down my name in the notebook, taking this opportunity, I looked at her, her delicate face was very close to me, my heart was beating very hard, and my face blushed unconsciously.

After the evening self-study, I went back to the dormitory, Lisa's voice and smile were still in my mind, and I was so excited that I couldn't sleep.The moment she turned to leave, that beautiful figure from her back stimulated my nerves like an electric current.I know, I've fallen into unrequited love.I am immersed in loneliness, and I regard missing Lisa as a kind of pleasure and enjoyment, which can make me temporarily forget loneliness and sorrow.The secret love at that time was a little sour and a little long, but it was also beautiful.

After that, every time I saw Lisa, she would smile at me.Her smile may be just out of friendliness and politeness among classmates, but I regard her smile as a special gift.Occasionally, she would ask me some math problems. In fact, those problems were very simple, and some of them were simply example problems in textbooks, but she said she didn't understand and insisted that I do the calculations for her.Every time she calls my name and walks over quickly, there will be waves in my heart.But when I was talking about the topic, I tried my best to restrain my emotions, and I didn't say a single redundant word during the whole process.

Such a simple math problem, why did she insist on asking me?Are you trying to get close to me on purpose?I thought wildly, but couldn't believe it.How could this girl from a wealthy family and a pretty face fall in love with me?

One side is a beautiful fantasy, and the other side is a desperate destruction.During the six months of unrequited love, I became depraved, not because I really wanted to degenerate in my heart, but because I wanted to use this method to numb myself.I started to spend my living expenses in the game room, reveling in the horse racing machine, imagining that Lisa, the perfect angel, would come to save me who was stuck in the quagmire.

On a rainy night, I lost a month's worth of food expenses, leaving only 5 cents in my pocket.I walked down the street in despair, with mixed emotions, including regret, self-blame, pain, and longing.I walked into the phone booth and dialed Lisa with the only 5 cents.

A sweet and familiar voice asked: "Hi, hello, who are you?" I held the microphone and couldn't say a word.I didn't dare to say my name, my heart choked up, and I let her "hello" N times on the other end of the phone.Finally, the sound of "beep beep" sounded on the phone, I breathed a sigh of relief, and shouted hysterically into the microphone: "I am a train heading for winter!"

After that rainy night, I woke up a lot, and finally understood: some love is just a product of youth.

The tail of youth at the age of 17 is short and gray; like the last note of a piano piece, no matter how high the key is used, the ending is to disappear and leave. /Youth Novel "Hourglass"

A first love that goes the other way
At the age of 16, it is the age when my mind is full of cranky thoughts.He was in the first year of high school that year, and he was obviously full of curiosity about everything, but he deliberately pretended that he didn't care about anything.

When I first entered high school, it was natural to pay attention to the girls around me, to see who was beautiful and well-dressed.The girl who impressed him the most was Bai Jie, with a fair face, exquisite facial features, tall figure, and long ponytail, just like a beautiful white swan.

Speaking of having feelings for Bai Jie, it was at a volleyball match held by the school.Wearing a short shirt and shorts, Bai Jie has slender limbs and graceful movements. Every time she hits the ball, the boys on the field will exclaim.He once thought that this girl was just beautiful, but he didn't expect that she was also very good.In this way, the rose of love sprouted in his heart little by little, and he fell in love with her unsuspectingly.

The more you like someone, the easier it is to be dissatisfied with yourself.Her beauty and excellence made him feel inferior.In terms of study, he is not as good as her; in terms of appearance, he is very ordinary.The only thing he can do is to look at her from a distance and appreciate the luck and happiness in his heart.Sometimes, he deliberately designed a route to meet her, or stood by the side of the road she must pass in advance to wait for her.Most of the time, she walked past talking and laughing with her companions, and occasionally when passing by alone, she also looked like no one else was there.Of course, sometimes she would glance at him inadvertently, and such a glimpse would make him very excited.

He once resented his parents for making himself so unattractive, occasionally looking at himself in the mirror, and sighing.But sometimes, he also comforts himself, thinking that he is not useless, for example, he sings well, writes well, and plays basketball very well.In order to get her attention, he once plucked up the courage to sing some sad love songs beside her, but what he got in return was a surprised look and a sentence of "crazy" thrown by her female companion.Seeing how she and her girlfriends left with a smile, he felt really stupid and ashamed.

Although ignorant love is immature, it grows quickly.It seems to have an inner force that forces people to do something involuntarily.He was not good at talking, so he became "gossip", asking around for information about Bai Jie.He learned that Bai Jie's parents were middle-level leaders in the education department, and she had to ride a bicycle home every Friday afternoon.He looked forward to one day talking to her on her way home and having a beautiful relationship.

Finally, one Friday after school, he decided to follow her home.Of course, being timid, he didn't dare to do such a thing alone, but asked a friend in the same class.But that day, for some unknown reason, Bai Jie didn't ride home by bike, but a female companion took her by bike.After walking behind them for more than half of the distance, he was a little anxious. If he continued like this, he could only watch her enter the house, and there would be no chance to strike up a conversation.

(End of this chapter)