There is a feeling called heartache

Chapter 12 Mother's Winter

Winter followed her all her life, tortured her all her life, and finally took her away mercilessly.Is this arranged by God?
My mother gathered firewood at the door of the house, which was very high, like a hill, in order to resist the whole winter outside.Winter is like a wolf, barking wildly outside, tearing at the door frame of our house.My mother stuffed firewood under the stove, and the wet firewood emitted thick smoke, and my mother's severe cough floated out along the smoke, drifting far, far away.

I don't know how many winters, my mother coughed in the strong wind, and wrapped her mouth with a scarf, but she couldn't cover the strong coughing.The cough is issued from the chest cavity, like a heavy drum, which can penetrate the left and right lungs.Mother walked in the strong wind, like a thin leaf, which may be blown away by the strong wind at any time.

Our thatched hut is swaying in the strong wind, like a boat in the ocean, like an island in winter.

Mother wrapped the quilt tightly and saw the winter outside from the crack of the door.Winter's ferocious face, with frightening eyes.

My mother's whole life has been winter, starting from being a child laborer, her bare feet stepping on the winter ground, numb to the point where she no longer feels pain, strands of thread spun between her stiff fingers, which grow out of her chest in winter, converging into a A powerful cough that bursts out in summer with a loud winter noise.

This constitutes the destiny of our family.

I have especially fond memories of winter.Winter is always a fierce and majestic face. Under its threat, the weak mother trembles constantly, like a dry leaf blowing in the wind.My mother's terrified cough, like a heavy drum, hit my heart hard, trying to pierce my fragile heart.

Father was "blown away" by a strong wind before that winter.After that, winter followed us for ten years and was destined to follow us for a lifetime.There is a thick layer of winter in my mother's heart.Every time I came back from the south, I saw my mother's hut shaking in the wind and rain, and her cough spread far from the wind, crossing the frozen river bed, scaring an old raven on the other side of the river. Run away, screaming.Sometimes I can hear my mother's cough in the far south, at night.Sometimes I wake up in the morning and see my entire pillow is soaked.I often burst into tears in my southern dreams.It seemed that hearing my mother's cough pierced through my thin atrium like a cicada's wings.

We long for spring more than anyone else.I look forward to the arrival of spring, and my mother's cough will stop immediately.In fact, this is impossible, because winter has penetrated deep into the mother's body, and no medicine can drive it away, because it is stuck inside.One winter almost took my mother away.My mother desperately called for help from the world, and I used peach sticks to help her drive away the god of death.The god of death has extended from the mother's brain, throat, chest cavity, and abdomen to the heels, making the mother's body swollen and deformed.My mother's cough followed me all the way from the north to the south. At a small station, an old Chinese doctor gave me a folk prescription, and my mother miraculously came to spring again.I think this is all thanks to the warmth of spring in addition to winter in the world.

But the mother's cough didn't stop, and the ice of winter extended to the end of her life in her body.

In the winter of 1995, my mother's cough finally stopped, forever.I breathed a sigh of relief, Amen!If my mother was over 80 years old, I would bless her, but she only lived to be 67 years old, like a dry leaf, hanging on the branch for a long time, crumbling, and finally being shaken off.My mother rarely experienced sunshine in her life, and even if I wanted her to experience more in her later years, she would not be blessed.Winter followed her all her life, tortured her all her life, and finally took her away mercilessly.Is this arranged by God? .

(Li Xin)
(End of this chapter)