There is a feeling called heartache

Chapter 21 Love You, Never Leave

Mother to father, perhaps, that is also a state of love, it is difficult for ordinary people to understand.

When I was a child, I was very afraid of my father, and that fear was mixed with a little hatred.

I heard from my mother that when I was five years old, my father refused to listen to dissuasion and insisted on starting a water production business when he saw others resign and go into the sea and earn some money.Unexpectedly, when I went to buy goods for the first time, the 3 yuan I carried with me was robbed, and the robbed father knocked unconscious and threw it in the road trench.A well-meaning person called the police.When my father woke up, he was insane.The police sent the father home based on his ID card.

When my father was sick, his appearance was terrible. His eyes were wide open, his face was bruised, he yelled and threw things.As if bewitched.

One day, while eating breakfast, my father first smirked twice, and then the bowl in his hand fell to the ground.The mother got up quickly and tried to grab my father's hand.How can a thin mother be a match for a tall and strong father?The father pushed the mother back and forth.My brother and I hid behind the door in fright and looked at my father in horror.My father ran out the door yelling, and my mother chased after him desperately.I grabbed my younger brother's hand and followed behind them.My father ran wildly on the street, swearing obscenities, and many passers-by stopped to watch.The mother caught up with the father and grabbed his arm desperately, trying to drag the father home.At this time, the father no longer knew his mother, and he threw his mother to the ground. The mother was holding on to one leg of the father and refused to let go, and the father kicked the mother with the other leg.I pulled my younger brother and stood not far away, looking at the madman's father with fire-breathing eyes.Every time he kicked his mother, it increased our hatred for him.He beat my mother, and our family's face was lost because of this lunatic.I hated my father to death, clenched one hand tightly into a fist, but dared not go over to help my mother.

Finally, with the help of the neighbors, the father was brought home.The doctor gave the father a sedative, and the father slowly fell asleep.The mother's face was kicked by the father, bleeding.The doctor gave the mother the medicine, gave a few more instructions and left.My mother took a mirror and looked at it, then called me and my brother to her, and said: "When your father wakes up, neither of you is allowed to talk about his illness. If he asks about the injury on my face, he must I said that I was accidentally cut by a branch of the pomegranate tree in our yard. If anyone is disobedient, mother will not want anyone!" When my mother said these words, her expression was so severe.I asked my mother: "Mom, does your face hurt?" My mother smiled immediately and said, "It doesn't hurt, it doesn't hurt, it doesn't hurt at all." I was puzzled by what my mother said, my face was broken and bleeding , how can it not hurt?

After the father woke up, he saw the white cloth on the mother's face, and asked the first sentence: "What's wrong with your face?" The mother smiled and said: "I don't look at the road when I walk, and I was accidentally cut by a branch of our pomegranate tree." After a while, do you think our pomegranate tree wants to eat meat?" Mother still didn't forget to tease.Father then asked, "Does it hurt?" Mother shook her head and said, "It's okay, it doesn't hurt at all. It's not because I'm afraid of the wind. I tore off the cloth a long time ago." Picking up a shovel, he went straight to the pomegranate tree, shouting as he walked, "I cut it down, what do you want it for?" My mother said, "Why do you cut down such a good tree?" My father said, "Why do you keep it? Let it scratch your face, okay?" In the end, the mother didn't persuade the father, and the pomegranate tree was cut down by the father.

My father would fall ill several times a year, and every time he fell ill, the most pitiful thing was my mother. It was common for my father to beat and kick her when he fell ill.But my mother never complained to my father.Every time my father fell ill, he destroyed something.In order to prevent my father from knowing that he destroyed things when he woke up, his mother would always buy new ones.For things like bowls, saucers, and thermos pots, my mother always secretly bought a few and put them in the neighbor's house.Whenever my father destroyed these things, my mother always brought new ones from the neighbor's house.Then I repeatedly told my brother and I not to tell my father that he smashed things no matter what.In this way, the mother took care of the father carefully, trying her best not to let him get a little bit of stimulation and harm.My brother and I have a completely different mentality from our mother: when he didn't get sick, we were afraid that he would get sick, and when he got sick, we were full of resentment towards him.At this time, we still can't understand our mother, and we can't empathize with our mother's thoughts.

Despite my mother's best intentions, in the end my father knew everything.That time my father fell ill, and the TV at home suffered a disaster.Mother sent the TV to the repair shop, and it hasn't been repaired for many days.My younger brother didn't go home after school, but went directly to the neighbor's house to watch "Journey to the West".After my mother cooked the meal, she asked me to call my brother to come back for dinner.I yelled several times, but the younger brother who was attracted by the TV show didn't come back.The father was in a hurry, ran to the neighbor's house angrily, and carried the younger brother home like an eagle catching a chicken.When I got home, my brother whimpered and cried.

My father reprimanded me: "Watching TV at someone else's house, and don't even go home to eat, why are you crying?"

Maybe it was the backlog of long-term resentment, the younger brother twisted his neck and shouted to his father: "If you smash our TV, I won't go to other people's house to watch it." "What? When did I smash the TV?" ?”

Father asked with wide-eyed eyes. "It was you who smashed it. Whenever you fell ill, you smashed things and beat your mother!" The younger brother's words were undoubtedly a bolt from the blue to his father.Father stood there stupidly, unable to say a word.

Mother was serving dishes from the kitchen to the main room, she kicked in and out of the door, just in time to hear her brother's words. "Crack!" The plate in my mother's hand fell to the ground, and the steaming dishes spilled all over the floor.The air suddenly froze.I glanced at my younger brother, who probably realized the seriousness of the problem, lowered his head, and didn't dare to cry anymore.The father stared blankly at the mother, and the mother also stared blankly at the father.It was the mother who finally broke the silence, with a smile on her face, and said to her father, "Don't believe the boy, he must be angry with you for saying that." Then the mother turned to her brother and asked, "Isn't it?" While talking, he secretly winked at his brother.The younger brother was at a loss.Father had obviously figured it all out.

He stomped his feet and asked his mother: "Tell me, is what the child said true? I beat you when I was sick, didn't I?" The mother quickly said, "No! No!" The mother burst into tears as she spoke. . "You two get out!" Dad yelled at my brother and me.I looked at my mother, and my mother said: "Go, listen to your father." I took my brother's hand and walked out of the house.As soon as he walked out, his father closed the two doors of the main room with a "bang".I signaled my brother to stop talking, then squatted down, and looked inside through the crack of the door.The father grabbed the mother's hand: "Tell me, is what the child said true?" The mother said desperately:
"No! No!" The father suddenly knelt down in front of the mother, knocking on the ground with his forehead: "Guilan, I'm sorry for you, I'm sorry for you, I'm not human..." The mother hurriedly pulled the father up, While pulling, he said, "What are you doing? I never blamed you in my heart!" The father hugged his mother, put his head on her shoulder and began to cry.We thought bitterly outside the door, why are you crying, you don’t know that you have caused both mother and us.

That night, during dinner, my father said to me: "From now on, if I get sick again, you will help your mother tie up my hands and feet, you know?" up:

"No, no, no!" said the father, "If you can't do it, you have to do it. I can't beat you anymore." The mother was silent.How could she be willing to tie her father with a rope?Afterwards, when the father fell ill, the mother would still hold on to the father's leg, and of course be beaten by the father.A few times, I really couldn't see it, so I found a rope and tried to tie my father's hands and feet, but my mother wouldn't let me say anything.It was not until the doctor arrived and gave the father a sedative that the mother was willing to let go of the father.The mother said that if the father was tied with a rope, it would be more irritating to the father, and the father's illness needs to be avoided as much as possible.

The sober father always feels sorry for his mother. Every day when he is in a normal state, he will try his best to do something for his mother.One night, my mother fetched a basin of hot water, sat on a small bench, and began to burn her feet.The father who was watching TV hurried over, squatted in front of the mother's basin, and washed the mother's feet.The two chatted about the household chores while washing.I saw clearly that tears welled up in the eyes of both father and mother, dripping one by one into the basin under mother's feet.The unit where the mother works is far away from home.Every afternoon, my father rode a tricycle to the door of my mother's unit early and waited for my mother to get off work.At first the mother refused to let the father go.She said to her father: "It's so far away. Riding a tricycle is so tiring. It's not as fast as I can ride a bicycle." My father said, "Let me go. What else can I do for you besides this little thing?" agreed.My father happily rides his tricycle to pick up his mother to and from get off work every day.

Once, it was very hot.On my way home from school, I saw my father and mother.My father was riding a tricycle with sweat on his face, and my mother was sitting in the car, fanning my father with the cattail fan in my hand, and my father would turn his head and smile at my mother from time to time... 20 years have passed in a blink of an eye.Now I am a wife and a mother, but if I were to be placed in the position of my mother, I am not sure that I will make the same choice as my mother.I still can't fully understand my mother, after all, a crazy man's fist is enough to make any woman intimidated.

But mother to father, perhaps, that is also a state of love, it is difficult for ordinary people to understand.

It is gratifying that since I went to college, my father's illnesses have become less and less frequent, and now he is basically free of illnesses.The doctor said that as long as the father's illness is avoided, he can recover slowly.

The mother used her body like a sponge to bear the father's outbursts again and again, and avoided the stimulation again and again for the father. Now, the father really recovered.The doctor should be right!But the mother must be right.

Bless our parents.

(one philosophy)
(End of this chapter)