There is a feeling called heartache

Chapter 23
Father's love is as heavy as a blank, it weighs heavily on my heart, and gives me the strength of personality to be down-to-earth and enterprising.

More than 20 years ago, adobe was still the main building material for building houses in rural areas.A piece of billet weighs about 30 kilograms, and an important criterion for judging whether a person is capable is how many billets he can take off in one day.My father is probably best at stripping, and his hard work is famous in a radius of more than ten miles.

After I went to elementary school, half of the playground behind the classroom was often occupied by my father.When I was in physical education class on the playground, I often saw the half-wet adobe gleaming faintly in the sunlight.My father said: In the early years, when building houses in the village, half of the blanks came from his hands, and the family's expenses were almost entirely dependent on the proceeds from father's sales of blanks.

As a rural child, his father's hard work is something to be proud of.However, all the classmates knew that the dark and thin middle-aged man was my father, so all the classmates made fun of me.What makes me even more embarrassing is that whenever my father is tired of taking a nap on the playground, he always likes to go to the classroom window to watch me in class or study. At this time, the classroom suddenly fell silent, and I knew that my father came to see me again Yes, whenever our eyes met, there was a burst of laughter in the classroom.

I don't know when a naughty classmate shouted: Don't look at the beard and beard, your father is a loser; beard and beard, don't make trouble, your father is a loser.This jingle quickly spread, and groups of mischievous partners sang rhythmically on the street.My heart often filled with infinite grievances.

In the summer when I was about to graduate from junior high school, in a self-study class, when I was concentrating on reading an English text, the noisy classroom suddenly became silent again. I looked out subconsciously, and my father was peeping into the classroom again.The moment we looked at each other, the classmates roared with laughter again, and soon another classmate shouted: Don't look at the beard, your father is a stripper——I finally couldn't bear it.I ran out of the classroom, stopped my father on the playground, and said, "Dad, don't get out of the way."

Dad had just filled a piece of mud into the mold when he straightened up and looked at me in astonishment.At this time, there was another neat jingle in the classroom: Don't make trouble, beard and beard, your father is out of shape and croaking.My head buzzed, and tears dripped out.I stretched out my feet and stepped on the blanks that my father had just released, one by one.A series of my footprints were embedded on the billets lined up one by one, two by three, like soldiers.Just for a moment, my father was in a daze, and his half-day labor was ruined by the soles of my feet... When I returned to the classroom, I fell on the table and cried loudly.The classroom that was still lively just now was surprisingly quiet.I lay on the table and cried all the time, and I was so tired that I fell asleep unconsciously.When I woke up, there was no one in the classroom.The venomous sunlight shot into the classroom, I squinted my eyes, looked out of the classroom, and was stunned all of a sudden.

My father was moving the dozens of bricks that I had trampled one by one into the mud pile, adding water and mud, and reinstalling them into the mold. Right in front of his bent body, a row of adobes was lined up like soldiers.

When I came to the playground, my father's back was black and shiny.Streams of sweat dripped down my father's back, and my father's shorts were completely soaked.After a long time, my father turned around and found me. He was kind, and the father and son looked at each other in silence... A few days later, I failed the entrance examination with a difference of seven points.On the day I received the report card, when I returned home, my father was silent, with deep disappointment in his eyes.

At noon, it started to rain suddenly, and my father woke me who was sleeping in the middle of the afternoon to go to build the blank together with him.It was raining and the whole family was busy on the school playground. We piled up thousands of blanks and covered them with plastic sheets.The rain became heavier and heavier, and half of the billets were soaked in water and rotted into mud balls, and several stacks of billets collapsed without being able to withstand the wind and rain.

The whole family was in a hurry, and most of the blanks that my father worked hard for a month turned into waste products.In the wind and rain, I saw my father's face distorted in pain, and finally, my father burst into tears.The whole family also burst into tears.

When I got home, my father asked me to take out my report card and ordered me to kneel before I had time to change my wet clothes.My father said word by word: "Your father is a loser. Don't think that your father is ashamed of being a loser. He is really ashamed if he fails to pass the test. You have to study homework like a loser. You have to endure hardships and be steadfast. Your father I want to get rid of the body for a lifetime, so that you can stay in the body for the rest of your life."

A month later, my father asked someone to let me go to the county to repeat my studies. Before leaving the house, my father gave me 50 yuan and said solemnly: "Son, this is your father's half-month income, it is a drop of your sweat." I earned it by throwing eight petals. Study hard, and if you fail the exam, you will go home and learn how to get rid of the blank with me..."

In the autumn of 1986, I received an admission letter from the China Youth University for Political Science.My father sent me to Beijing, and we visited the Forbidden City, Beihai, and Wangfujing.Finally, on the high pedestal of the Tiananmen Square Monument, the father said: "Son, you finally don't have to work hard to get rid of the blanks. Study hard, you see, Tiananmen is so good, and the Forbidden City is so high, they are all made of pieces of blanks." .”

At Qianmen Subway Station, I broke up with my father.After my father merged into the bustling stream of people, I looked back at the large square bricks on the Tiananmen Gate again, and my father's curved black back when he took off the mold appeared in my mind.Father's love is as heavy as a blank, it weighs heavily on my heart, and gives me the strength of personality to be down-to-earth and enterprising.

(beard macro)

(End of this chapter)