There is a feeling called heartache

Chapter 6 Concealment
Mancangniang's withered hands gently caressed the thick stack of letters with red triangle postmarks, and suddenly stopped moving.

Mancangniang is blind.When Mancang was serving as a soldier, she was sick in bed. Before she left, she called Mancang to the bedside and touched him again and again.

On the night when the warehouse full had an accident, the wind was very strong, and thin ice formed where there was water on the ground.When the warehouse was full to repair the line, the utility pole suddenly fell down and pressed on him.On the way to the hospital, Mancang signaled the squad leader to come over, and said with all his strength: "Don't let my mother know, or she won't be able to bear it."

After saying that, he tilted his head and went.

Soon after Mancang's sacrifice, the company set off an upsurge of learning Mancang's fonts.The soldiers put more effort into practicing their calligraphy than Pang Zhonghua's copybook.The soldiers in Mancang's family knew who they were, how many acres of land, and how many pigs they had. Letters were sent to the small mountain village, all of whom were named mothers.

Mancangniang happily asks people to read every letter she receives. The person who reads the letter bites her lips tightly, her eyes turn red and she finds an excuse to run outside. Everyone in the village knows that Mancang has already returned. It is on the east hillside at the entrance of the village.The full warehouse was brought back in a small box by the instructor and an officer.All this is only hidden from one person - Mancang's mother.

Before the Chinese New Year, Mancang sent a letter saying that he would go home and celebrate the Spring Festival with his mother.The atmosphere of the Chinese New Year is very strong, and Mancang wrote again, saying that he has a mission and can't come back.At the same time, I sent back some photos and nutritional products.

In fact, the photo was just a soldier wearing the same clothes as Mancang, and Mancang's mother stuck the photo to her chest and called "Mancang".

It was another year, and she couldn't figure out how many letters, medicines and nutritional supplements Mancangniang had received.

The full warehouse is already a soldier who has "extended service".One day in early winter, Mancangniang suddenly became ill.

At dusk, she called Mancang's sister to the bedside and said: "I can't see Man'er anymore, I'm dead, don't let Man'er know, he will be sad, and it will affect his great career..." After finishing speaking, Mancangniang's withered hands gently stroked the thick stack of letters covered with red triangle postmarks, and suddenly stopped moving.

The news of Mancangniang's death spread to the company, and all her sons burst into tears.

Two Bowls of Beef Noodles

We were all moved by the behavior and dialogue of the father and son.My aunt also stood by my side at some point, staring at the father and son silently.

When I was in college, I went to help my aunt in the small restaurant every weekend.I remember that it was a chilly spring evening, and a special pair of guests came to the shop—a father and son.

They are special because the father is blind.The boy beside him held him cautiously.The boy looked to be only eighteen or nineteen years old. His clothes were plain and shabby, but he had a quiet and bookish air about him. He must be a student studying.

The boy came to me. "Two bowls of beef noodles." He shouted loudly.I was about to fill out the form when he suddenly shook his hand at me again.I looked at him in surprise, and he smiled apologetically, then pointed to the price list on the wall behind me, which meant that only one bowl of beef noodles was needed, and the other bowl of clear soup noodles.I was stunned for a moment, and then suddenly realized.It turned out that he shouted two bowls of beef noodles for his father, but in fact he was out of pocket and didn't want his father to know.I smiled at him knowingly.

The kitchen quickly brought two bowls of steaming hot noodles.The boy moved the bowl of beef noodles in front of his father, and greeted carefully: "Dad, here are the noodles, eat slowly, be careful not to burn them." He took the bowl of clear soup noodles by himself.His father was not in a hurry to eat, just fumbled around in the bowl with his chopsticks.After finally grabbing a piece of beef, he hurriedly put it in his son's bowl: "Eat, eat more, study hard when you are full, the college entrance examination is coming soon, you must go to university, and be a useful person to society in the future." Talent." The old man said kindly, although his eyes were blind and lifeless, his face was wrinkled but full of gentle smile.What surprised me was that the boy who was the son did not stop his father's behavior, but silently accepted the beef slices from his father, and then quietly put the beef slices back into his father's bowl.Again and again, the beef slices in the father's bowl seemed to never be finished.

"This restaurant is really kind, there are so many slices of beef in the noodles." The old man sighed.I couldn't help but feel ashamed for a while, it was just a few pieces of meat that were as thin as a cicada's wings.At this time, the son hurriedly took the opportunity to answer: "Dad, eat quickly, there is almost no room in my bowl." "Okay, okay, eat quickly, this beef noodle is actually quite affordable." The acting and dialogue moved us all.

My aunt also stood by my side at some point, staring at the father and son silently.At this time, Xiao Zhang from the kitchen brought a plate of freshly cut beef, and the aunt beckoned for him to put the plate on the table of the father and son.

The boy raised his head and looked around. There were no other customers at his table, so he reminded softly: "Did you put it in the wrong place? We didn't ask for beef." The aunt smiled and walked over: "Yes, today is our opening anniversary, This plate of beef is a gift." The boy smiled and stopped asking questions.He picked up a few more slices of beef and put them in his father's bowl, and then put the rest in a plastic bag.We just quietly watched their father and son finish eating, and then watched them go out.

When Xiao Zhang went to collect the bowl, he suddenly yelled softly.It turned out that under the boy's bowl, there were several banknotes pressed, totaling six yuan, which happened to be the price of a plate of dry-cut beef on our price list.

For a moment, none of me, my aunt, and Xiao Zhang could speak, only a silent sigh echoed quietly in everyone's heart.

crying fruit

Could it be that the 8 yuan and 5 cents saved by sacrificing a finger was actually to buy some fruit to taste?
In the city where I live, such a case happened.

One day at noon, a woman picking up rags, after taking the rags she picked up to the waste collection station for sale, was walking back on a tricycle. When she passed a remote alley, she suddenly jumped out from the corner of the alley. A gangster comes.The gangster held a knife in his hand. He pressed the knife against the woman's chest and ordered the woman to hand over all the money on her body.The woman was so frightened that she stood there motionless.

The gangster began to search, and he found a plastic bag from the woman's pocket, which contained a wad of banknotes.

The gangster took the stack of banknotes, turned around and left.At this time, the woman came to her senses and immediately rushed forward, struggling to grab the plastic bag.The gangster pointed at the woman with a knife, gesturing to stab her, and threatened her to let go.The woman clutched the bag tightly with both hands, refusing to let go.

While protecting the bag tightly, the woman desperately called for help.

The cries for help alarmed the residents in the alley, and they rushed to catch the criminals together.The crowd escorted the gangsters and the woman into a nearby police station, where a policeman received them.During interrogation, the gangster confessed to the robbery.The woman stood there trembling, with cold sweat protruding from her face.The policeman comforted her: "You don't have to be afraid." The woman replied: "It hurts so much, my finger was broken by him." She raised her right hand as she spoke.

Only then did people realize that the index finger of her right hand was drooping limply.

I would rather have my fingers broken than let go of the money bag, which shows that there must be a lot of money in the money bag.But when the policeman opened the plastic bag containing the banknotes, all the people present were stunned—there was only 8 yuan and 5 cents in the bag, all of which were [-] cents and [-] cents.

For 8 yuan and 5 cents, one has a broken finger and the other has become a criminal. It's really not worth it.For a moment, the town was in an uproar.

The policeman was at a loss: what kind of power was supporting this woman, so that she could not give up the mere 8 yuan and 5 cents despite the severe pain of breaking her finger?He decided to find out.Therefore, after the woman was sent to the hospital for treatment, he followed the woman in order to find the answer to the question.

But what is surprising is that shortly after the woman walked out of the hospital gate, she picked fruit at a fruit stand, and she picked it so seriously.She spent 8 yuan and 5 cents to buy a pear, an apple, an orange, a banana, a section of sugar cane, a strawberry...all the fruits on the fruit stand, she picked one of each until she bought 8 yuan. 5 cents is not a penny left.

The policemen opened their mouths wide in surprise: Could it be that the 8 yuan and 5 cents saved by sacrificing one finger were actually to buy some fruit to taste?
The woman carried a bag of fruit and went straight out of the city to a cemetery in the suburbs.The police found that the women walked to a secluded place where there was a new tomb.The woman stood in front of the new tomb for a long time, with a gratified smile on her face.Then she leaned the bag against the tombstone and murmured to herself: "Son, Mom is sorry for you. Mom is incapable of curing your illness, but let you die early when you were just 13 years old. Do you remember? ?When you were about to leave, Mom asked you what your greatest wish was. You said that you had never eaten a whole fruit. It would be great if you could eat a good fruit. Mom is ashamed of you, even your last wish I can’t be satisfied. In order to treat you, the family has no money to buy a piece of fruit. But, my child, until yesterday, my mother finally paid off all the debts I borrowed for your treatment. Mom earned money again today. 8 yuan and 5 cents, son, mom can buy fruit now, you see, there are oranges, pears, apples, and bananas...all good, and they are all good fruits that mom bought for you, It's not bad at all, Mom has carefully selected them one by one, you can eat, child, you can taste it..."

Mother
Niang nodded vigorously, and forced a smile to Yuan Shan, but there was so much uncontrollable sadness in the smile.

That year, Li Yuanshan brought his [-]-year-old mother from her hometown to Shanghai and lived in his own small unit like a pigeon cage.

My old lady is not Yuanshan's own mother.Yuan Shan fled with his biological parents when he was young. When he arrived in his current hometown, his biological father exchanged Yuan Shan for his mother with a bag of rice.Relying on a spinning wheel, my mother desperately supported Yuan Shan to go to university, found a decent job in Shanghai, and married a beautiful Shanghai girl. That mountain is even heavier.

Now my mother is old, her ears are deaf, her speech is not as sharp as before, she also suffers from severe emphysema, and she coughs day and night, just like an old plane that has been working for decades and still hasn't stopped. bellows.Yuan Shan wanted to do his best to show his filial piety, so that his mother could see with her own eyes the big Shanghai where her son lived in the few days, and also experience for herself what it was like to live in the city.

However, since my mother moved in, my wife Nana hasn't said a word to her mother-in-law.Yuan Shan knew that this was good enough.Yuan Shan and Nana had a big fight when they were arguing over whether to pick up their mother.Nana said to Yuan Shan in her usual condescending tone: "Who will take care of bringing the old woman in? She is so old and has lung disease. What if she infects us? You can take her here and take care of her business." I won't do it at all!"

Mother sleeps on a wire bed at Yuanshan's house, and eats in the wooden bowl that Nana specially prepared for her.As for why it is made of wooden bowls, Nana also has an excuse: "The old woman is old and handy. She broke the fine porcelain bowls in Jingdezhen. Where can she buy them?!" Even so, Niang happily made them for the Yuanshan family every day. The country flavor that can't be eaten in the city, cheerfully washes all the dirty clothes and trousers for the daughter-in-law, and cheerfully undertakes almost all the housework.

If life is like this day by day, but it passes peacefully, Yuan Shan will be satisfied.

But an apple that was bitten by someone disturbed the harmony of this originally peaceful home.

This apple was given to Yuanshan by others.It is said that it costs dozens of yuan a catty, Yuan Shan himself is of course reluctant to be so extravagant.Nana usually locks the apples in the pantry, saying that she is afraid that the mice will eat them, but in fact she is not afraid of who will eat them.He loves his wife, so no matter what he should or should not endure, he endured it.

That day was Saturday, and Nana was in a good mood, so she opened the pantry and took three apples, asking Yuanshan to give one to her mother.All three ate happily.After eating, Nana asked Yuanshan to accompany her to buy clothes, and it was a long way out of the house before Nana realized that she forgot to lock the pantry.But since she forgot, Nana went to Huaihai Road with Yuan Shan.When I got home and opened the door, what came into view was this apple that was bitten and then abandoned on the table like a demonstration.

Its whole body was shiny red, only the place where it had been bitten had snow-white flesh exposed, and probably because it had been bitten for too long, it had turned slightly withered and yellow.That bite was like a sharp knife, gouging out the sharpest flesh in Nana's heart, and it was also like a heavy hammer, beating Yuan Shan's heart hard.

Nana yelled "Wow", and said loudly and loudly: "Old lady, what are you doing? One of such expensive apples is not enough, and I have to secretly take another one! Just take one, why? Just take a bite and put it on the table? I don’t know I have lung disease! You old woman!”

Yuan Shan wanted to persuade her, but at the same time, Yuan Shan saw the mother staggering out of the bathroom in a panic, with her sleeves rolled up, her arms flushed from the water, and her face still covered with foam.Yuan Shan saw something bright and twinkling in his mother's eyes, and Yuan Shan's words "forget it" choked in his throat and could no longer vomit it out.

"What are you throwing!" Yuan Shan roared.Nana was stunned by that voice. "My mother has suffered so much and suffered so much all her life. She shouldn't eat an apple? Don't say it is imported, it is gold. If she wants to eat it, I will give her both hands!" Yuan Shan didn't know where he came from. With great courage, he said to his peach-faced wife what he had been holding back for a long time but did not dare to say.

Nana's scream pierced the eardrums of people upstairs and downstairs. "Li Yuanshan, how dare you yell at me!

You go with your wife!If I come back, my name will not be Nana! Nana cried and danced, picked up her purse and was about to leave. Mother hurriedly slapped Yuan Shan on the back, and while beckoning him to persuade him, she coughed out of breath.

Yuan Shan wanted to be tough, but when he saw the flushed face, and the pleading and reproach in his eyes, his heart immediately softened. He stretched out his hand to pull Nana, but Nana threw her away.

"Daughter-in-law, cough, daughter-in-law, cough, cough, cough, you, cough, don't blame Yuanshan, cough, cough, this silly boy." The mother took a breath, suppressing the coughing and rushing up in her throat. With the sadness in my heart, I said to Nana, "It's all my old woman, cough cough, this damn old woman is not good, cough, I was greedy for a while, cough cough cough, just... cough, took a bite, cough cough cough ..." Mother coughed more and more, Yuan Shan could hardly tell what Mother's words were mixed in the cough.

With a bang, Niang fell on the wooden floor.The bellows-like cough also stopped abruptly.

Nana didn't cry anymore, she just turned her head wide open in amazement. Just now, when Mother was talking to her, she turned her head away, half out of anger, and half out of fear of contagion.

Yuan Shan stood there dumbfounded, not understanding what happened to his mother.A few seconds later, Cai crazily picked up his mother and rushed out, knocking Nana who was standing at the door to the side.

"Mother!" Yuan Shan yelled, the tears in his eyes flowed on his mother's limp and drooping head on his chest.The tall buildings and street trees on both sides of the road turned into a blurred gray net behind him.

The mother fainted because she didn't catch it in one breath.Yuan Shan sat beside her mother's hospital bed, gently holding her mother's hand that was as rough as old bark due to the wind and frost and the pressure of life, and staring at her mother's wrinkled face carved by the carving knife of time. Face, the scene of sitting beside my mother's spinning wheel and reading under the bean-like light when I was a child flashed before my eyes.Just for an apple... Yuan Shan buried his head in his mother's hand, and tears welled up in his eyes again.

"Mountain..." Mother called softly, and Yuanshan hurriedly responded. "Mountain," Mother slowly opened her eyes, and slowly turned her head to her son, whose face was full of tears, and slowly raised her hand to wipe away the tears on his face. "Mountain," Mother couldn't hold back her sobs, "It's not that Mother wants to steal that apple, Mother just..."

"Stop talking, mother!" Yuan Shan interrupted mother's words with tears in his eyes, "It's all bad, it's all useless, so you won't be able to enjoy any blessings, I'm sorry..."

"No, Shan! Listen to what mother said... cough cough..." Mother panicked and coughed again, and Yuan Shan hurriedly beat mother's back.After a long time, the mother suppressed her cough, took a deep breath, and continued: "Mother really doesn't want to eat that apple, she doesn't care about it, she just sees that the copper coin on it is broken.

Nana always threw something away when she saw it was broken. Mother felt distressed when she saw it, and she bit off the bad piece and ate it, afraid that she would throw away that apple again.Mom really doesn't want to eat that apple! "

"Mother...ah!" Yuan Shan clenched his mother's hand tightly, tears streaming down his face.Another voice sounded in the ward at the same time—a tearful Nana walked in from the door of the ward with a bag full of apples, and knelt down beside her mother's bed.

After being discharged from the hospital, Niang insisted on leaving, but Yuan Shan couldn't keep her.Mother didn't take anything, only the bitten apple. "Things are good, don't waste them!" Niang said to Yuan Shan.

Yuan Shan sent his mother to the train, looking through the window at his mother's white hair trembling in the air, Yuan Shan's throat seemed to be choked by something.He opened the car window, wanting to engrave this wrinkled but lovable face into the deepest part of his heart forever.

"Mother!" Yuan Shan shouted loudly.Mother heard it, nodded vigorously, and smiled reluctantly at Yuanshan, but there was so much uncontrollable sadness in the smile.

"Mother!" Yuan Shan yelled again, and the undried tears came out of his eyes again.

"Mother-"

tears of guilt

Because seeing me wake up, my mother was so happy that her face was full of tears. The hair that was black half a month ago is now completely white... When the weather is hot, my mother always likes to put a towel on her shoulders (that kind of flower) You can buy face towels from the store for fifty cents), and wipe the sweat off your face from time to time.Later, when my mother had a headache, she often tied the towel on her head, and never took it off no matter in season.

When I was studying in Wuhan, my mother with a turban on her head came to visit me.I was afraid that my classmates would know that I had such an "old-fashioned" mother, so I said to my mother: "Go back, I can't study if you are here." My mother turned around, wiped her eyes and left. Did not send her off.

During the four years of college, I rarely went home and never wrote a letter to my family, but my mother sent me the living expenses on time.When I got home, I always ignored my mother.When I just graduated from college, I moved all the things I didn't need home, and when I was about to get home, I had a car accident.

Some of the passers-by recognized me as the third son of Lao Luo's family, so the nimble elder brother, second brother, elder sister-in-law and second sister-in-law all came. Seeing me covered in blood and unconscious, they cried into a ball and lost their positions.Finally, the mother who came pushed through the crowd, picked me up, who was judged to be doomed to die, and stopped a large car on the side of the road. She wrapped my wound with a towel, carried my body on her shoulders, and took out my body from my pocket. A large handful of change was stuffed into the driver's hand, and he kept begging the driver to take me to the hospital for emergency treatment.The sister-in-law said that she had never seen a cowardly mother so strong and powerful!

After carefully cleaning the wound, the doctor asked me to transfer to another hospital, and hinted that the elder brother and the second brother were preparing for the funeral.

My mother tore to pieces the mourning clothes my elder brother had bought for me in despair, and my elder brother finally couldn't help crying.The mother said: "Don't cry, I didn't cry, and you don't cry, the third child will not die, he is only in his 20s, he will be fine, we can definitely save him!"

The doctor still said that there was nothing he could do, so he asked the eldest brother to lie to his mother: "This child is hopeless, and even if we want to save it, it will cost a lot of money. Even if we spend a lot of money, it may not be possible."

The mother knelt on the ground at once, then stood up immediately, put the blood-stained towel on her shoulders and said, "I beg you, save my son. My son is promising. It's amazing. You must save him. I I can earn money to pay for medical expenses, I can feed pigs, farm land, I can also go out to work, I can do everything, I have money, I have 4000 yuan now.” The doctor held her hand, shook his head, Said that the 4000 yuan is far from enough.The mother was anxious, pointing at her brother and sister-in-law, clenched her fists tightly and said: "I still have them, let's work hard together, we can do it." Seeing the doctor's silence, she said again:

"I have a house to sell, and I can sleep on the ground. Even if I lose everything, I still want my son to come back to life. Doctor, please rest assured, we will not renege on our debts. Money, we will find a way."

The doctor who is used to seeing life and death is already in tears!

The great maternal love not only supported my life, but also supported the doctor's confidence and determination to rescue me.I was pushed onto the operating table.

The mother was standing outside the operating room. She walked back and forth in the corridor uneasily, wiping away her sweat with a towel, and even wiped the towel to pieces.During the more than ten hours of waiting, she kept doing the actions of worshiping Buddha and praying to God, begging God to give her son life!Everyone in the hospital was moved to tears.

Only my mother, she stood by my bed, waiting for me to wake up firmly!

In order to make the doctors and nurses treat me well, she took advantage of her brother's spare time to accompany her to make a large plate of hot tofu, and sent it to almost all the medical staff in the surgery.Although the hospital has a rule not to accept things from patients, how could they refuse such a simple and sincere expression and request?The mother is satisfied and more confident.She said: "You are really good people, you will definitely cure my son!"

One morning after half a month, I finally opened my eyes, and I saw a thin old woman.Because seeing me wake up, my mother was so surprised that her face was full of tears. The hair that was black half a month ago is now completely white. In half a month, my mother seems to have aged 20 years!
In the days to come, my mother would accompany me, we chatted, and we played games.Once upon a time, what a luxury this was for mothers!
I was finally discharged from the hospital, but suddenly found that my mother's towel was missing. My elder brother told me: "Mom is afraid that you will be upset when you see her towel."

All of a sudden, I burst into tears of guilt.

(Luo Gang)
(End of this chapter)