There is a feeling called heartache

Chapter 5 Carrying the Road of Life
The growth process of each child is an exchange of life between mother and child.

In an ordinary Yao village, there lived a mother and son who depended on each other.Originally, life was very poor. When the child was eight years old, he suddenly fell ill.His mother took him to see many doctors, but none of them could confirm the diagnosis. They all said that it was a very strange disease, and no one could name it.But my mother did not give up. Like all parents who seek medical treatment, as long as there is a glimmer of hope, my mother will try desperately.In this way, I tried many kinds of medicines, but there was still no improvement in my condition.Everything in the family that could be exchanged for money was sold, but the child's illness gradually deteriorated, and the originally thin body became thinner and thinner bit by bit.Due to muscle atrophy, the child can no longer stand up and can only lie in bed every day.

One day, the mother inquired from a neighbor that there was a miracle doctor far away, and his medicine could cure the child's illness.Carrying the scrawny child on her back, she walked for two days before finding the miracle doctor and prescribing the medicine.After taking a few sachets, the child really got better and could barely eat something, and his face began to return to ruddy. The mother was very happy.However, the medicine of the miracle doctor is very expensive, so she can only go up the mountain to cut firewood very hard every day, and use this most primitive means to maintain the family's livelihood.Sometimes, in order to collect more firewood, my mother could only come home late at night.

Ordinary Chinese medicine is boiled three times before discarding the dregs, but mother often boils it seven or eight times until it is as dilute as clear water, and she is willing to throw it away when it has no taste.Later, the boy accidentally discovered that the mother poured the medicine residues on the road every time, and was trampled to pieces by passers-by.The boy was puzzled and asked his mother why, and the mother told him that when others stepped on your medicine dregs, they would take away your sickness, so that you would recover faster.The child didn't quite understand what the mother was doing at first.But think about it and ask, "How can this be possible?
I'd rather get sick by myself than have someone else get it. The mother looked at the child in front of her and said nothing. Since then, the mother no longer poured the medicine residue on the road.

Every day, the mother gets up very early, cooks medicine for the child, and then goes into the mountains under the dew.The days passed day by day amidst my mother's countless firewood chopping and anticipation.One evening, my mother went into the mountain and hadn't come back yet.The boy was thirsty and tried to get a cup to drink, and suddenly found that he could stand up.He stood leaning on the wall for a long time, then stumbled towards the back door. He thought that when his mother came back, he would be the first to see him standing there, and he wanted to surprise his mother.

Pushing open the door, it was a small road leading directly to the mountain. The moonlight sprinkled on this road that his mother must pass every day. Only then did he see clearly that the road was covered with a layer of thick and rotten things, which were medicines. scum.That road is seldom traveled by people, only my mother passes by when chopping firewood every day.

father's tears
Father couldn't speak for a while, he just kept sobbing.Suddenly, my father leaned his gray-haired head on my shoulder... Before I was 30 years old, I never saw my father's tears.

My father has been a driver all his life and has no culture. In my impression, my father is an extremely optimistic person by nature.I remember my father gave me the happiest childhood in his simplest way during my poor family.From childhood to adulthood, my father never beat or scolded me. In my childhood memory, although there are no fun toys, no unforgettable delicacies, and no pocket money to buy things, I still think I am a happy child!

My father used his simple principles and methods to make his children remember this scene many years later: in the spring when the grass was spreading, my father and I ran all over the front and back mountains to catch grasshoppers; Wading in the clear river to catch fish with the fishing net we wove; in the snowy winter, my father and I set up a bamboo basket with a branch tied with a thread, hid behind the big tree, and waited for the birds in the forest My father spoiled me in his own way - he often drove a big truck in the factory behind his mother's back to encourage me to play truant, let me sit in the passenger seat next to him, and dragged me around .One thing I am most grateful to my father is that once on a business trip, my father traveled a long distance from the northeast of his hometown to Changsha, Hunan, thousands of miles away. He actually persuaded my mother to lie to the school teacher together and hired me for two months. During the vacation, he used his big truck to drive me all over the north and south of the Yangtze River and both sides of the Yellow River, leaving an indelible memory in my young heart. At that time, I was in the fourth grade of elementary school.

Our family lived very poorly in those years. My parents almost ate pickled vegetables and stretched their belts to support me through junior high school, high school, and university... However, they never complained. In my memory, my father was a born A kind man who is optimistic and has a very good temper. Before the age of 30, I never saw my father cry.

When I was 30 years old, I had already lived up to my parents’ expectations. I had worked hard in Beijing for six years: I had a Beijing household registration, got a master’s degree, and used my savings from three years of work as a down payment to order a very good house. Everything means that I have been far away from the backward urban-rural combination zone in the small northern city-the place where I was born and raised, and integrated into the life order of the capital, living the life of a "decent person" I have long admired. .

The joy of my parents is self-evident. Although they have no money to support me these years—they work in a bankrupt enterprise in Northeast China, wages and pension insurance have become problems—but they will always use their own methods to help me. help me.

When the house was moved in and renovated, I spent almost all of my savings, because the decoration cost was pitifully small, so I had to buy materials by myself to save every dollar.Of course, my elderly father is duty-bound. He and my mother came to Beijing to share with me every little difficulty in the progress of the renovation.

From a tile to every nail, my father lost a lot of weight in those two months.

With the help of my parents, my new house was successfully installed with very little money. In the last few days, the room was ventilated to release the smell. My father insisted on staying in the new house and helped me with the finishing work, while my mother lived with me in a rented temporary residence.

In the middle of the night that night, my cell phone suddenly rang non-stop. When I answered the call, it was the property management center of the community, and a man said angrily: "Your house is flooded, and the neighbors downstairs and the elevator are flooded. Come here quickly." Deal with the consequences."

When I came to the new house, I saw my father's expression was extremely depressed, and he kept muttering: "It's all my fault, I was too sleepy, and I didn't even hear the sound of testing the water."I saw his bloodshot eyes, and felt sore in my heart. I knew that my father was too tired. He was so tired that he couldn't wake up after falling asleep. It was all because of decorating the house for me.

The neighbor was quite reasonable, and after I kept apologizing, he accepted a small amount of compensation from me, and it was a matter of course.But the property management company of the community brought us bad news, because the water in our house flooded the newly installed Mitsubishi elevator, and the elevator could no longer operate normally.The staff of the property company said, you are ready to pay compensation!My father tremblingly asked how much the compensation would be. The property staff said it depended on the degree of maintenance, and it was estimated that it would cost tens of thousands of yuan.

God!Tens of thousands of dollars!At that time, it was undoubtedly an astronomical figure for me, and it was the most serious disaster.Our family stayed up all night that day.I sighed and couldn't say a word. My mother kept complaining about my father. My father buried his head deeply and smoked non-stop all night.

The next day, my father and I went to find the leader of the property company. On the way, my father kept telling me that it was his responsibility. He went to explain to the property company and tried to solve it.I was very disapproving, thinking that my father had no way to deal with such a difficult problem, and finally asked me to spend a lot of money to clean up this mess. I felt that my fate was really bitter.

When they came to the property center, their leaders didn't listen to our father's stammering explanation to us that our nose is not our nose and our face is not our face.No matter how we explain it, the leader said that you must pay this money, and the more you pay, the less depends on the result of the appraisal.The situation suddenly fell into a stalemate. Everyone didn't speak for a long time, and the atmosphere was heavy and depressing.

I said to the leader, I hope you will hold your hand high and understand our difficulty.The leader said unhappily: "It's not easy for everyone, who is considerate? I think it's still a matter of business!" I fell into despair again. Suddenly, my father walked up to the leader and grabbed the leader immediately. hand, and said in a dry voice: "I beg you! It is not easy for the child to have today in Beijing! We are really poor! Don't make him pay more, he can't afford it! This is all mine. Responsibility, not the responsibility of the child!"

Although the father's voice was loud, it was intermittent and choked.The father said to the leader: "Please! I bow to you!"

The leader and I were both stunned. My father bowed deeply, his body was constantly shaking up and down. When my father raised his head covered with gray hair again, I clearly saw tears in his eyes.

When I was stunned, my father said to the leader of the real estate company in tears: "The child is really not easy! You must not make things difficult for him! If you help him, I can repay you in any way. Now... I kneel down for you!"

I yelled heartbreakingly: Dad—I grabbed my father who was about to kneel down and shouted loudly: "Dad—don't do this! No matter how much you lose, your son will pay you!" I can afford—" Tears welled up in my eyes and ran down my cheeks.

Father couldn't speak for a while, he just kept sobbing.Suddenly, my father leaned his head covered with gray hair on my shoulder... At that moment, I burst into tears.

(Ji Ning)
(End of this chapter)