Late at night, please give me half a cigarette

Chapter 229
Zhang Yan did not hide my illness, and the doctor also said it in front of my face when he diagnosed me.

In fact, I understand all the reasons the doctor said to relieve me, but it is one thing to understand, and another thing to get into a dead end and not get out.

So in the days that followed, while cooperating with the treatment and keeping the medicine in my mouth, I felt that this world was really terrible, and that every minute and every second I lived in this world would be sinful.

Depressed patients will have hallucinations and suicidal tendencies, so Zhang Yan asked for leave and stared at me 24 hours a day, fearing that one day something would happen to me.

I felt that my life would no longer be bright. I put the stool in front of the window several times, then stood on the stool, opened the window, looked down at the downstairs, and thought to myself, if I just step forward like this One step, maybe everything is over.

Sometimes Zhang Yan is really out of breath, and she slaps me when she comes up, saying you go, go, I see if anyone in the world will be sad when you die, they will say that it is good to die, such a capable woman, Sooner or later, you will be killed by yourself, and that Tian Yulu, what do you think will happen to her when you die?Will she lose two catties of meat or make less money?Your death will only make her headlines again, make people pay attention to her, make her more famous, and make her even more popular!

After I calmed down, I felt that what Zhang Yan said was very reasonable, so I kept apologizing to her, saying that I was wrong.

However, I started to manifest various symptoms of depression, such as insomnia, forgetfulness, nightmares, anorexia, despair of the world, and wanting to die, so within a month, I became extremely thin. All that was left was a handful of bones.

The school term is coming soon, Zhang Yan went to school to ask for leave.When she came back, she told me that my teachers and classmates at the competition school watched it. They generally said that although my reaction was a bit extreme at the time, they thought it was human nature. I can't help it, it's only because of such a big publicity with guidance that the current chain reaction will be produced. It also said that I should adjust my mentality so that I can go back to school as soon as possible.

To be honest, although these words are very simple, I really warmed my heart when I heard them, like a person at the bottom of a cliff who suddenly heard someone shouting to me from above my head not to be afraid.

I decided to pick myself up and think about something good every day and face life positively.

Not long after, Yang Yiping called me. She said that she had been abroad a while ago, and she heard about me when she came back yesterday, so she called me specially to ask me if I would like to go to her studio to practice. Song, by the way let her hear if I have made progress.

I agreed with one bite.

When I arrived at Yang Yiping's studio, I immediately saw Mr. Song who supported me on the stage. I found out later that Mr. Song is a good friend of Yang Yiping. Personal ambiguous photos, but the two have never been ambiguous in public.

When Tian Yulu first debuted, because of her poor singing skills, Yang Yiping once stated in public that Tian Yulu was only suitable to be an idol singer. Afterwards, the relationship between Tian Yulu and Yang Yiping in the entertainment industry was very delicate and tense.So Yang Yiping always thought that the reason why I was publicly targeted by Tian Yulu must have something to do with Teacher Song supporting me.

I was afraid that Yang Yiping would misunderstand me, so I told them about me and made it clear that there was a personal grievance between Tian Yulu and me.

Yang Yiping didn't make any comments after hearing it, but just asked me if I want to learn to write songs, so that I can write all my feelings that I have nowhere to vent into the lyrics, and then shout out through the songs.

Focusing all my attention on writing songs, my mood really improved a lot. During this period, the program group called me and said that they have a resurrection mechanism on the Internet. I went to play in the finals, and I was the one with the highest number of votes.

I don't know what the psychology of the people who voted for me is, maybe they really support me, or maybe they just want to see my jokes, but whatever it is, I don't want to participate in it anymore.

My refusal made the program crew a little surprised. They persuaded me for a while, and seeing that I was determined to give up, they stopped pestering me.

Putting down the phone, I picked up the pen, facing the lyrics I wrote before, I couldn't even continue a sentence.

"You still want to go in your heart, don't you?" Yang Yiping sat next to me, picked up my lyrics and looked at them, and said with a smile: "The lyrics are much more sunny than before, at least you have expectations for the future, which is a good thing .”

"Mr. Yang, why do I feel like every time I make a wrong choice..." I looked at Yang Yiping seriously and asked.

"Why do you think you are wrong?" Yang Yiping asked, "Life is a road with no direction. No matter how you choose at the fork in life, as long as you believe it is right and positive, it is right."

"Do you still want to sing?" Yang Yiping asked.

"I don't know." I said confusedly.

"It depends on whether you have the courage to stand on this stage again. In fact, I think it is a good thing for you to participate in the gymnasium. Although the ending is obvious, at least it will allow you to break through the obstacles in your heart. Think about it for yourself." After Yang Yiping finished speaking, she went to do other things.

Yang Yiping was right. I was full of longing and fear for the stage in my heart, so after a few days of ideological struggle, I discussed with Zhang Yan. Zhang Yan said that if I feel that I can face it calmly Now that there's a lot of scolding, it's not a bad idea to participate.

I don't know if I can face it, but I still called the program team and said that I want to participate in the finals.

In fact, the result on the day of the competition was exactly as we expected. I was eliminated after only singing one song. At the same time, Tian Yulu continued to say that my singing skills were not as good as before.

Strange thing, this time I didn't take her words seriously, I didn't even catch what she said, all I could think about was that I had the courage to face it all again.

Because I was eliminated, the host interviewed me very intimately, and even saw that I lost a lot of weight. I always kept a bright smile on my face, and thanked him for his concern.

When I got off the stage, I suddenly felt that the big stone that had been pressing on my chest that made me breathless disappeared in an instant, and I felt relaxed. Even if I failed, it gave me a picture of this special life experience. Perfect full stop.

I just wanted to go to the locker room to change clothes, when a staff member came to me and said that because I made it to the finals, the company wanted to sign me as a singer, and showed me the contract.

I was a little confused at the time, because it was absolutely unexpected, so I quickly called Yang Yiping for advice. Yang Yiping said that the boss of the company knew that although she was young, she was very smart. It succeeded and became popular, and said that this is a good opportunity, and it might open the door to a new world.

Afterwards, I asked for Zhang Yan's opinion, and Zhang Yan said, you can do whatever you want.

I put down the phone and asked the staff how to sign the contract. The staff said that their boss wanted to meet me in person and said he would wait for me in the office on the third floor.

I held the contract, excited and apprehensive, and led by the staff to the office.

I politely knocked on the door, pushed it open and walked in. I saw a man sitting on the boss chair behind the opposite desk. His back was facing me and facing the French windows behind him. Turning the chair and turning around, a pair of dark eyes stared at my eyes without any waves, and the corners of his lips curled up, and he said to me with a raised eyebrow and a smile: "Long time no see!"

When I saw him, my first reaction was to turn around and run away, but my feet seemed to be filled with lead, and I couldn't move at all. I could only look at him with a surprised expression, and my whole body became panicked.

(End of this chapter)