Late at night, please give me half a cigarette

Chapter 267 I am a contradiction
I looked at Su Anyu, speechless for a moment.

Because he said everything.

"I think Ye Yaoyu may never have imagined that what knocked him down was not all the obstacles in front of him, but you who were silently protected by him all the time. You really stabbed him hard in the back with a knife. A knife." When Su Anyu said this, his eyes on me became very complicated, and he couldn't tell whether it was hatred, disgust or something else.

"Haven't you been trying to make us separate? You should be happy that we are separated now. How can you say such words now? It's sour. It doesn't feel like you at all." I looked at Su Anyu, looked at With his eyes, he said slightly sarcastically.

"Indeed, I did want you to separate from the beginning." Su Anyu did not deny my words at all, "And it was the kind of unscrupulous way to want you to separate. But in the process, I suddenly saw from you what I used to be The shadow reminds me of many unpleasant things in the past, and then I really want to strangle this shadow, I don't want it to exist, I don't want it to remind me of the past. So I really want to destroy you!"

I looked at Su Anyu, looked at his indifferent expression with a hint of hatred in his eyes, I knew he didn't lie to me, he really wanted to destroy me.

"When I saw you at that time, although I smiled at you, I really wished that you would disappear immediately." Su Anyu said with a sigh, "I have that feeling until now. But I am contradictory. I want to destroy you, but I pity you, just like I pity myself. And to be honest, I really thought I could destroy you with a few strokes, but your performance is beyond my expectations, you are like Those ants crawling on the ground, in order to survive, their weak shoulders can carry a heavy burden, and you have been fighting against the miserable life brought by fate in your own way. Seeing you like this, I began to envy you again."

"You are really a complicated person." I looked at Su Anyu and felt my cheeks burn slightly, probably because of the alcohol.

"Yes, I am such a complicated person. If there was no Ye Yaoyu back then, I might be a high-level lunatic now." Su Anyu smiled self-deprecatingly, then looked at me seriously and said: "He Qiu, over the years, Have you ever felt that I really like you too!"

"What?" I looked at Su Anyu with a strange expression on my face, "Did I hear you right, you said, you said you like me?"

"Didn't feel it at all?" Su Anyu said with a light smile, "Then I really failed."

"Su Anyu, please make it clear...you say, you like me...you like...how could you like me?" I left Ye Yaoyu, but never thought he could like me.

"He Qiu, how capable do you think you are to be able to stand up to my struggles for so many years?" Su Anyu looked at me with raised eyebrows expressionlessly, "Because every time, I leave room for you."

"That's why I said, I am a contradiction."

"But you don't have to be nervous, my liking for you is not purely the kind of love between a man and a woman. That kind of feeling is just like what I have for Ye Yaoyu, it's so complicated that I can't explain it myself." Su Anyu said, giving himself He and I both poured a glass of wine, then picked up my glass, handed it to me, and said: "It's also because of this that I have been hesitating whether to send that photo to Ye Yaoyu, but I didn't expect to send it to Ye Yaoyu." It was you who gave it to him."

I took the wine glass from Su Anyu's hand, and my heart began to become complicated. Just as Su Anyu said that his feelings for me are complicated, in fact, I am not.

From the first time I saw Su Anyu, I was preconceived and felt that he was a very warm man, so that I couldn't completely hate him after what he did to me, and I also felt that no matter what he was doing In fact, they all aimed at me, leaving me room for maneuver.

I clinked glasses with Su Anyu, and then we both drank the wine in the glasses. I don't know if it was because a lot of things were said, but after drinking this glass of wine, I felt a lot more relieved.

"He Qiu." Su Anyu put down his wine glass, looked at me seriously and said, "What do you think of Ye Yaoyu now?"

"I think he is a very hardworking person, with a clear distinction between what he loves and what he hates, and he works very hard, for his dream..."

Before I finished speaking, I was interrupted by Su Anyu raising his hand, "That's not what I'm talking about, what do you think of his feelings for you? What about your feelings for him now?"

Hearing this question, I lowered my head subconsciously, and then I felt a particularly uncomfortable feeling in my chest, probably because of drinking alcohol. I wanted to control the spread of this sad emotion, but I couldn't control it, so I raised my head and tried hard. Inhaling deeply, inhaling hard, my throat was dry and sore, as if it was blocked by something.

"I...my feelings for him...of course it hasn't changed from the beginning to the end. I think he is the one I love the most in my life. I want to be with him even in my dreams. We can hold hands openly , no matter how many people oppose us, it can’t stop us from being together! But the reality is cruel, it’s not a fairy tale.”

As I said that, I took a deep breath again, trying not to let the tears fall.

"Now I really regret that I didn't persevere at the beginning, but I also think, if I persisted at the beginning, would it have ruined Ye Yaoyu? But, the reality is that no matter what I think, it is useless. I should be the one in Ye Yaoyu's heart now." It's a thorn, I can't pull it out, but it's getting stuck in a panic, so his attitude towards me is getting more and more strange and irritable. I tried to ease our relationship before, but everything was in vain. I can feel his dislike for me..."

I couldn't say any more, the tears that had been in my eyes fell down without disappointment, and then I hurriedly wiped them away with my hands.

Su Anyu listened to my words quietly, saw that I kept wiping my tears with my hands, and said lightly: "He Qiu, based on what you know about Ye Yaoyu, do you think that just a photo and a few sarcastic words from you , will he really believe that you betrayed him and followed that Dong?"

"..." I was taken aback, looked up at Su Anyu, choked up and asked, "What do you mean by that?"

"It seems that you don't know much about Ye Yaoyu yet." Su Anyu looked at me and said, "Ye Yaoyu won't believe that you have a relationship with someone surnamed Dong just based on a photo. Your distrust of him, your distrust of your relationship, and his self-esteem that was hurt by you!"

"I don't understand..." I suddenly felt my head hurt and my mind was in a mess.

"If you don't understand, think about it differently." Su Anyu took out a cigarette and lit it, "If you saw a photo of Ye Yaoyu hugging other women intimately, what was your first reaction?"

After speaking, Su Anyu held the cigarette between two slender fingers, took a puff, and opened his mouth to protrude a smoke ring.

"Of course the first reaction was shock, then anger, then wanting to know the truth, and even though angry, I still wanted to prove that he had nothing to do with the woman in the photo, it was a misunderstanding..." I thought for a while and replied.

(End of this chapter)