got windy

Chapter 1 Overture
In those summer days, when you were concentrating on painting in the prairie covered with miscanthus, there would always be my figure lying in the shade of a white birch tree next to you.At sunset, when you finished your work, you came to my side, put your shoulders on each other's backs, and looked into the distance. Cumulonimbus clouds with dark red edges had covered the horizon.Looking from the direction of the twilight horizon, it seems that something is about to be born...

Just one afternoon in those days (it was almost autumn at that time), we put your unfinished paintings on the easel casually, lying in the shade of the birch tree and tasting the fruits.The clouds are as fine as sand, flowing in the sky.At this time, the wind blew unexpectedly, and I don't know where it came from.The blue sky glimpsed through the gaps in the leaves above our heads stretches and shrinks.Probably at the same time, the sound of something falling suddenly came to my ears from the grass.The sound seemed to be that the paintings and easels we had stood there casually fell down.You immediately got up to look, but I forcibly held you back.For a moment, I never want to lose everything in front of me, and I never want you to leave.You obeyed me.

"The wind is blowing, try to survive."

This verse suddenly came out of my mouth, and while I put my hand on your shoulders close to mine, I repeated it in my mouth.You broke free immediately, got up and left.The oil paint has not yet dried, and it is now covered with grass blades.You set the painting on the easel again, scraping away the blades of grass with the palette knife as best you can.

"Ah! If your father sees us like this..."

You turned your head to look at me with a slightly ambiguous smile.

"Father will be back in two or three days."

You said so suddenly one morning when we were walking in the forest.I feel a little unhappy, silent.So you looked at me and said again in a slightly hoarse voice:

"That makes it very difficult to go for a walk together."

"It's just a walk, I don't think it's a problem."

My unhappiness is still there, and although I have noticed your uneasy gaze, I still pretend to be more concerned about the rustling of the treetops above my head.

"Father wants us to separate, or he will leave me."

Finally, I looked back at you with anxious eyes.

"In that case, do you want us to break up?"

"There's really no other way."

You said these words with a forced smile, as if you had made up your mind.Ah, how pale your face, and the color of your lips, were at that time!
"Why did it become like this? It seems that I have left everything to me..." With a thoughtful expression, I walked a little ahead of you. The mountain road is narrow and full of exposed tree roots. difficult.The groves there looked deep, the air was cold and chill, and there were little swamps here and there.Suddenly, a thought flashed in my mind, you are so obedient to me who met me by chance this summer, so in the face of your father who has been dominating you all the time, wouldn't you entrust yourself to me even more unreservedly? ?Is not it? ...

"Setsuko! If you are such a girl, I will like you more and more. When I have a clearer understanding of life, I will marry you no matter what. Until then, you stay with your father as you are It's better..." I only said these words to myself silently, but as if I was going to ask you to agree, I grabbed your hand suddenly.You let me hold your hand, and we held it tightly like this. We stopped in front of a swamp, silent, and stared at each other with indescribable emotions.The sun struggled to penetrate through the gaps between countless intertwined branches of low shrubs, and fell sparsely and dappled on the ferns at the bottom of the small marsh under our feet.The light and shadow scattered from among the trees swayed in the faint breeze.

One evening two or three days later, I was in the cafeteria and saw you eating with your father who came to pick you up.You childishly turned your back on me.It must be because of your father being by your side that you almost unconsciously put on such an appearance and movements, making me feel like a young girl who has never met before.

"Even if I call your name..." I whispered to myself, "you wouldn't even look this way! It's as if the person calling you wasn't me..."

That night, I went out for a boring walk alone, and then returned to the hotel, pacing in the empty courtyard again.Mountain lilies exude a refreshing fragrance.I stared blankly at the two or three windows of the hotel where the lights were still on.Then there seemed to be a mist.As if afraid of the fog, the lights in the windows went out one by one.Just when I thought the hotel was about to fall into complete darkness, a window opened slowly with a soft bang.A young girl seemed to be wearing rose-coloured pajamas, leaning against the edge of the window, leaning out.that's you...

After you left, as the days passed day by day, my heart was filled with a sense of happiness similar to sorrow.This atmosphere can still be clearly reproduced in my heart today.

I am isolated in the hotel all day long, continuing the work that I have long abandoned for you.Even I didn't expect that I could quietly bury my head in my work.Soon the seasons changed completely, and the day before I was finally going to leave, I walked out of the hotel door and started a walk that I hadn't done for a long time.

Autumn messes up everything seen in the forest.The trees with withered leaves reveal the uninhabited villa balconies in front of the jungle.The damp smell of fungi mingled with the smell of fallen leaves.This change of seasons is really unexpected—after parting from you, time passes by inadvertently, which makes me feel strange.Somewhere in my heart, I am convinced that the separation from you is only temporary.Is it because of this that the passage of time has a completely different meaning to me than the past? ... Before I was sure about such a thing, all I felt was an indescribable blur.

After more than ten minutes, I have walked to the end of the forest, looking at the vast horizon in the distance, and stepping into the grassland overgrown with miscanthus.Then I lay down in the shade of a nearby white birch tree full of yellow leaves.Here is where I watched you paint on those summer days, and lay as I do now.The horizon that was often covered by cumulonimbus clouds at that time is now a distant mountain range that winds nowhere.

I stared intently at the figures of the distant mountains and memorized them all.A confidence that has been buried in my heart for a long time, and given by nature, gradually grows on my subconscious...

(End of this chapter)