If you are still together when you wake up

Chapter 10 Between Good and Evil
When I went to class the next day, I was very tired, and no amount of concealer could cover the blue shadow in front of my eyes. Xia Huixi stood on the podium, greeted the students, and suddenly found that the prepared class was very boring .Perhaps before the students became impatient, I could no longer speak.After thinking for a few seconds, she temporarily decided to chat casually about this academic exchange.

The students were very interested in the psychology giants present at the meeting, and chatted happily. Xia Huixi was carrying a bag, and when she went out, she received a call from the head of the psychological assistance organization. She was a little surprised, but because she was rushing to the TV station, He didn't say much, just made an appointment and hung up the phone in a hurry.

The subway runs extremely fast, because it is not the rush hour, there are few people, and the carriages are light and light, which makes people feel dizzy.Xia Huixi leaned against the back of the plastic chair, rested with her eyes closed, and her life returned to its original appearance overnight.Go to class, travel, drive a car, read and study in the dead of night.It's a good thing to go round and round like this.

When she arrived at the TV station, she was still managed by a familiar makeup artist.As soon as the young girl saw her, she smiled and said, "Miss Xia, did you change your hairstyle?"

She smiled slightly: "Yes."

In fact, it was decided in an instant.I got off the plane yesterday and walked to the hairdressing shop in front of the school. I suddenly stopped and decided to fix my long hair.An acquaintance of the barber noticed the unhealed scar on her forehead, so he suggested: "Why don't you give you a bang, which can just cover the wound."

After thinking about it, she agreed.

With this hairstyle cut, it looks a lot more youthful, quite a bit like those girls on the street wearing black colored contacts and holding up a camera to take selfies.But when the matter was over, she just brushed the hair on her forehead and accepted it calmly.

Finally, sitting in the studio, Liu Fei reluctantly greeted her when she saw her, then turned her head away and stopped talking.She just sat in the subway and looked at the general content of this issue. There is not much time left for her at the moment. Xia Huixi simply put down the manuscript, arranged her clothes, and sat there. Waiting for the guests to show up.

They are a young couple surnamed Wang.They sat in a small room separated by frosted glass, and the audience and the host could only see slightly shaking and blurred shadows.The sound has also been specially processed so that people cannot distinguish the real voice.

Liu Fei's interview skills are undoubtedly still proficient, and she explained the general situation clearly in a few words.

The couple just had a child six months ago.Within a few months after birth, the child died of acute pneumonia and complications, and the treatment was ineffective.This blow was too much for the young parents to bear, so during the dispute, Mr. Wang couldn't help telling a secret that he had been hiding in his heart.

At the beginning of his wife's pregnancy, he had already discovered that she had an ambiguous text message with her first love.At such a moment of great family change, he naturally couldn't bear this matter.They blame each other, endless disputes, the whole family, is about to fall apart.

This issue seems to be different from the cases that Xia Huixi encountered in this program in the past.

She turned her face slightly, looked at the two figures intently, carefully discerned the distorted tones of the guests during the conversation, and recorded a few words on the manuscript paper at hand from time to time.

The young man was accusing his wife: "Are you taking care of the child seriously? If it wasn't for you, how could he suddenly contract pneumonia?"

As for his wife, she couldn't make a sound, and that voice came through the microphone, with an unbearable sense of depression.

The host had to cut in and interrupt them.However, at this moment, Xia Huixi suddenly stood up with a calm tone: "Can I go in and have an interview with the two guests?"

Liu Fei was stunned for a moment, this was really not in line with Xia Huixi's style.She has always sat quietly in a corner, it seems that the less words the better, she never asks for it.The director yelled "Stop" and negotiated urgently. Finally, the camera cut and Xia Huixi had already walked into the hut slowly.Because she was wearing a microphone, the audience could clearly hear her voice, which came very softly: "Ma'am, I have a few questions, I hope you can understand them clearly."

Xia Huixi carefully observed the young woman sitting in front of her.She has a light figure, long hair like a waterfall, slightly swollen eyes and flustered demeanor, but she is even more charming.She sat down beside Mrs. Wang, and held her hand comfortingly: "Please tell me, who thought of participating in this program?"

She didn't speak, Mr. Wang looked a little irritable, and simply said: "It's not me."

The light came in from the hall outside the frosted glass, and the whole room seemed like a small silkworm cocoon, because of the white and bright color that penetrated layer by layer, it made people vaguely feel that they were somewhere in the clouds.Xia Huixi lowered her eyes, and her eyes fell on her wrist. Mrs. Wang's hand shook slightly, as if she wanted to cover something, but because she was held and couldn't break free, she could only gently turn her wrist over.

"I read your information, and I have a general understanding of what happened. I have always wanted to ask, I wonder if you would mind this question, it has something to do with the baby who died young."

Mrs. Wang glanced at her quickly, her eyes flickered slightly, she hesitated to speak, and finally nodded.

"The child started to get sick because of catching a cold. You are a full-time wife, and you also hired part-time workers to help take care of the child. Do you think that the child's illness has something to do with your husband blaming you for not taking good care of it?"

No one spoke, even the audience sitting outside could hear the woman's heavy breathing.

After a long time, the voice hesitated, but still agreed: "Yes."

Xia Huixi's eyes are like fine amber, soft but refreshing.In this look, there was no malice, no questioning, and no offense. She continued to ask the question: "Then Mr. Wang said, you are in contact with your former lover, right?"

To everyone's surprise, this time, Mrs. Wang nodded, not much, but enough for the audience to see her statement clearly.

"What I'm going to say next may be a little direct, or it may make you feel uncomfortable. Do you want me to continue talking with a microphone, or we talk in private?"

The director's voice came from the headset: "Xiao Xia, the pace is a bit too fast. I need to take care of the host and the audience outside the venue. Can you slow down for a while?"

Xia Huixi didn't seem to hear it, she still looked at Mrs. Wang, and reminded her with a smile: "Mrs. Wang?"

Her face suddenly turned as white as snow, and her eyes shifted to her husband. After a while, she bit her lip heavily and nodded: "What do you want to say?"

"Should I turn off the microphone?"

Her tone seemed a little angry, and she shook her head.

"I think, your child unfortunately died, and you came to this show again, is it because for some reason, you have always wanted to relieve your psychological burden? As for the reason, as your husband said, It may be related to your previous lover, I dare not speculate on this. What do you think?"

After talking about it, Xia Huixi's speech speed became faster and faster.At the same time, the director's voice came from the headset, becoming more and more severe: "Xiao Xia, enough is enough."

At about the same time, the host's headset also received instructions, and Liu Fei's voice also came in, a little flustered and at a loss: "Hehe...do you have any opinions from the audience?"

However, Xia Huixi's last words made the audience quiet again.

"If you continue to remain silent, do you agree with what I said, that you are quite responsible for your child's death?"

Even from the perspective of ordinary people, this is an extremely severe accusation that lacks an objective factual basis.There was an uproar in the audience.Looking through the glass, the silhouette of the woman who had just lost her child was very thin, even trembling.Many audience members whispered to each other, probably because they were dissatisfied with the psychiatrist, and their voices became more and more noisy.

"How did you speak?"

"What's the matter with this show? How can you expose your scars in public like this?"

……

The noise outside the house had nothing to do with Xia Huixi. She just frowned slightly, took off the microphone that had been attached all the time, and put a small note in Mrs. Wang's palm: "This is my Contact information, if you need it, you can find me at any time." Then she looked up at her husband, the tall man, his eyes were a little dull, and he seemed to be indifferent to the outside world.Xia Huixi can tell that he loves his wife, but he has come to this point, is it also an arrangement of fate?

The director simply suspended the program.Xia Huixi walked to the backstage to rest alone, and heard someone outside the house saying: "That woman is so pitiful, she fainted and sent for first aid just now."

Her heart skipped a beat, and she clenched her fists uncontrollably.In the mirror, his face was pale, and his blush became more and more charming.It seems that the sky is full of pink peach petals suddenly falling in the wind like among the flowers of Sydney.

She saw the director walk in with a very bad face, and said in a restrained tone, "I'm fine today. Let's end the show here."

Expected attitude.Xia Huixi didn't know if he should explain, but another staff member yelled from afar: "Today's tape..."

"What tape? How can such a program be broadcast?" the director growled in a low voice, full of anger.Xia Huixi froze for a moment, didn't say anything, didn't even take off her makeup, packed her things and went out.

In the afternoon, the sun dispelled the misty autumn rain, pedestrians put away their umbrellas, and their walking became a little more leisurely.Xia Huixi saw the man standing in the square not far away, wearing a casual beige suit, with his back to her standing upright like a tall and straight poplar.

She felt that her mind was like a ball of paste today, and she couldn't remember why Su Ruhao was here.After standing silently for a while, he called out to him, "Why are you here?"

He turned around, the sunlight dyed half of his side face, his eyes were bright and deep, as if looking her up and down in an instant, the corners of his lips curled up slightly: "I'll wait for you to go back to school together."

This is the first time they met after returning home.Because of what happened in the afternoon, Xia Huixi was still in a daze, walking side by side with him, not knowing what to say.

Su Ruhao didn't drive, they walked to the subway station together, he suddenly said: "Why did you do this in the show just now?"

Xia Huixi raised her eyebrows and looked at him in a daze, and blurted out: "Why are you there?"

"Did you forget?" Su Ruhao pursed her lips, her eyes softened, "Last time you took me to see a scene, it was considered as saying hello to the director of the show. I can be regarded as... your colleague. "

"Really?" Xia Huixi lowered her head again indifferently, the hair on her forehead slipped down the corners of her eyes and eyebrows, a little itchy.

He took a big step from the angle, and stopped in front of her, his tone was cool, but his eyes were full of pity: "You haven't told me, what were you thinking when you recorded the show just now?"

For a moment, Xia Huixi completely forgot how to organize her sentences, and her mind repeated his words, regurgitating them over and over again—yes, what was she thinking when she stood up?
"I'm thinking about what Professor Zac said." She murmured as if reciting, "You shouldn't use wrong beliefs to save people... Everyone has their own destiny, we are not God, we are just watching..."

"There are traces of cut veins on her wrist. I think she committed suicide, and maybe she will try to commit suicide again in the future...I can't help but want to try and see if it can save her..."

But her expression was obviously a little uncertain, like a frightened deer, her eyes were shining, and she was slightly worried: "I don't know if I did this too much...or will..."

Su Ruhao suddenly sighed, without saying a word, he stretched out his arms to wrap her in his arms.She could also smell the warm breath from his side, it was so soft that one couldn't bear to let go.It was the first time he did this in public, and then he lowered his head and kissed her ear, his voice spread to her heart with warmth: "You know that if you do this, others will misunderstand you...Why are you so stupid?"

Such words, such a tone, were full of tenderness, which made her eyes slightly warm.

She knew that she didn't need to say anything, and she didn't have to think about explaining, she just quietly stretched out her hand and wrapped it around his waist.

Xu Shi noticed the hands on her back behind her, Su Ruhao hugged her tighter, and said in a low voice, "It's fine if you don't do this job. If you misunderstand, just misunderstand, it's okay."

She closed her eyes tiredly, leaned on his shoulder, and thought lightly, yes, just misunderstand if you misunderstand.As long as you have a clear conscience, what else is there to worry about?
In fact, she had already seen something wrong when the couple had just started talking.The wife didn't refute her husband's questioning very much, perhaps such a reaction, on the contrary, repeatedly angered her husband, which made him fly into a rage.She carefully observed the woman's state of mind, and compared to those weak responses, she boldly guessed almost instantly, was she taking the opportunity of appearing on the show to vent her psychological pressure and guilt?And in her subconscious, is she hiding something?
Xia Huixi tentatively asked those cruel questions in front of the audience, and the other party's reaction confirmed her guess more and more.Perhaps, as her husband said, she was regretting why she gave birth to this child, and she took the initiative to appear on the show, perhaps waiting for redemption, or perhaps looking for destruction.

Xia Huixi only remembered a speech made by the old professor at the closing ceremony of the meeting - some people, after realizing their sins, can live very well.

So without hesitation, she sharply raised her doubts in front of everyone.

Whether this dose of heavy medicine will be a panacea or a bone-destroying poison, she is really not sure at this moment.

Su Ruhao's hand stroked her long hair over and over again, and his fingers gently rubbed through the watery hair, bringing warmth, as if to convince her that it was right to do so.Xia Huixi felt that her chaotic mind was calming down little by little, like a cat being comforted by its owner, she couldn't help but want to curl up like this, basking in the sun, motionless.

Until something in my mind is reminding myself that something seems to be missing.When she finally remembered, Xia Huixi almost didn't jump up: "I still have a date!"

There was a faint smile in Su Ruhao's eyes, he slowly let go of her, and took her hand again: "Where are you going? I would have driven here if I had known."

During the peak hours after get off work, it is more difficult to take a taxi and there will be traffic jams. It is better to take the subway.

The number of people waiting for the bus was like raging waves crashing on the shore. They hardly had to move, and they were almost pushed onto the carriage by the crowd behind.But Su Ruhao still held her hand and never separated.When Xia Huixi was trying to avoid the body of a young man beside him, he moved his body quietly and locked her in the small world in front of him.His hands inevitably wrapped around her waist, so he whispered, "Sorry."

The hug in front of the crowd just now didn't make her feel uncomfortable, but now she had to face each other, but it suddenly made her blush.Outside the glass window is a black tunnel, reflecting their figures brightly. Among the passengers with blurred faces, they are the only ones, as if they are looking at the shadows in front of the water, their faces are clearly visible.

At the first stop of the subway, Xia Huixi remembered that his family lived nearby, so she turned her head and asked him, "Get off first. The place I'm going to is not far away, it's the next stop."

He was silent, then chuckled and said, "No. I'll go with you."

His voice was clear and calm, with calm persistence, and Xia Huixi didn't persist anymore.The traffic jam that usually made her feel the most impatient, seemed to have been given a different mood, as if there was a grain of sugar between her lips and teeth, faintly dizzy with sweetness.

Meet at a coffee shop.Because it was related to the psychological assistance organization, Xia Huixi felt that it was okay to go in with Su Ruhao, but he just sent her to the door, and then said: "Maybe it is very important to find you. Since there is no appointment, It's better for you to go by yourself." He waved at her, "Go in quickly, you're going to be late."

It was Li Haifeng who I knew before, and he is also the person in charge of the charity organization for psychological assistance.Xia Huixi saw him from a distance, her heart skipped a beat, almost thinking that something was going to happen again.

Li Haifeng stood up, shook hands with her with a smile on his face, and after sitting down, he exchanged greetings: "What has Miss Xia been up to lately?"

Xia Huixi held the glass of lemonade and paused: "I just came back from the meeting, and I'm not busy with anything, just attending class. Do you need help for psychological assistance activities?"

He leaned on the velvet sofa and nodded slightly: "It can be regarded as a help. I wonder if Miss Xia is interested."

"You know, our charitable organization has just been established, and everything is still being standardized, including the name, the organization's logo, and the scale are being confirmed. We feel that it is necessary to find an image endorsement. Yesterday during the meeting , everyone recommended you."

She was listening with great interest, but when she heard the word "endorsement", she suddenly couldn't help laughing: "Mr. Li, are you kidding me? Endorsement? Do you think I'm a celebrity?"

Li Haifeng's tone was very sincere: "No, but you are indeed the most suitable candidate."

"Charitable organizations need endorsements. I have no objection. It may be understood and noticed by more people. But I am just an ordinary person, and it seems that it will not have any effect." Xia Huixi pondered for a moment, "And, this The fact that you have come forward makes me feel that this is a business practice. I don't think it is a good suggestion."

Li Haifeng didn't seem to expect her words like this, so he was speechless for a while, took a few sips of water, and then spoke again: "How this organization is currently operating, Ms. Xia is fully aware of it. If there is no publicity, it is difficult to imagine us The group can continue to sponsor endlessly. It is said to be an endorsement, but it is not actually a commercial activity. You just need to cooperate with taking some promotional photos and participate in some activities. Firstly, it is because your program ratings are very good. The response is also good; secondly, you are engaged in psychology, which is also beneficial to the image of the entire charity organization. If there is a promotional activity, this is a selling point in itself, what do you think?"

Xia Huixi didn't know if this was a kind of stubbornness, maybe it was because the recording of the TV program did not leave a good impression on her, and she was indeed a little afraid of the exposure rate, so she responded with a smile, but did not let go at all.

Until the end, she simply took out her mobile phone: "I can directly ask Mr. Pei about this matter. If he also thinks that I am not suitable to endorse this charity event, can you reconsider the candidate?"

Li Haifeng obviously didn't know that she knew Pei Yueze, he was stunned for a while, and decided to stop this topic: "Miss Xia, let's not talk about this today, it's wasting your time. You can think about it when you go back, okay?"

She also breathed a sigh of relief, and gave each other another step: "Okay, I will consider it."

When leaving, Li Haifeng held the door for her in a very gentlemanly manner, and asked, "Where does Miss Xia live? Shall I see you off?"

The young girl didn't seem to hear his words, she looked across the road and smiled with crooked eyebrows.She turned her head and said, "Thank you, no need. My friend is waiting for me. Goodbye, Mr. Li."

Ignoring the fact that the sidewalk is not far from the intersection, Xia Huixi saw that there was no traffic on the road, so he ran over quickly.Running in front of him, he was breathless because of the cold air. After calming down for a while, he smiled and said, "Why are you still here?"

Su Ruhao stretched out his hand, stroked her back slowly, waited patiently for her to finish speaking, and said with a smile, "Waiting for you."

"Waiting for you", in my impression, he has said it to her countless times.

Coming out of the department, he stood at the door chatting with the security guard, turned around and saw him, so they went out together, she asked him: "Didn't you leave long ago?" He said lightly: "Wait for you, together Walk."

She finishes class for the student, no matter how late, as long as he is also at school that day, he will always stand under the big camphor tree in front of the teaching building, see her, smile and say: "Wait for you to have dinner together, and discuss a few days by the way." question."

When going abroad for meetings, she sometimes walks slowly, her eyes wandering around in the fresh world, only he notices it quietly, so he always slows down and calls back to her not far from her: "Hurry up!" Come on, I'll be waiting for you."

So many tiny "waiting for you", at this moment, like a thin stream of water, gathered little by little, moistening the softest place in her heart.She couldn't help holding his hand, looked into his eyes again, and said happily, "I haven't eaten yet."

They seem to be ordinary young men and women, holding hands with each other, looking for the most peaceful and warm lights.And behind the two of them, the entire city was gradually foggy due to the humid autumn rain.

(End of this chapter)