If you are still together when you wake up

Chapter 9

That was two years ago, when she had just been admitted to a Ph.D.Xia Huixi followed Professor Peng to CRIX for the first time.Not a big conference room.An oval table can only seat about a dozen people, and the five professors from Nantah University, plus people from the other company, barely sat down.So the students or assistants who came with several professors sat on the chairs around the periphery.

At that time, they began to negotiate a scientific research cooperation agreement with each other. The discussion process was lengthy and irritating. Xia Huixi could almost get used to the smell of lily flowers, the flashing PPT light, and the projector. And the radiant and low hum of several laptops.

Until someone pushed open the door, the air flow swept her short hair back, and like everyone else, she cast her eyes on the person who came.

The person in charge of CRIX has already stood up hastily, and introduced to everyone in a respectful tone: "This is the president of our group, Mr. Pei Yueze."

Xia Huixi occasionally reads financial magazines, and knows that CRIX has developed quite fast in the past few years.As the president of the group, Pei Yueze made a series of decisions that were all precise and decisive.The young controller was wearing a simple white shirt and black trousers. He was slender and slightly thin, with deep and almost perfect facial features.

He walked in and shook hands with the scholars one by one, with a calm demeanor.Xia Huixi saw him walking to his mentor, and when he heard someone else's introduction, his eyes seemed to light up slightly: "Professor Peng Ze? I have known you for a long time. It's a pleasure to meet you."

She just went through the motions and looked around. When Xia Huixi shook hands with him, she easily noticed that he was absent-minded, and even the "hello" seemed perfunctory.She sat down in her seat, saw Pei Yueze come to the front and said a few words briefly, and finally, out of a noble inertia, she smiled and left.

The final meeting is over.Professor Peng was sorting out some materials for her when he was suddenly stopped.

The person who came was a young lady. Xia Huixi guessed that she should be a secretary or something. She seemed to have waited outside the venue for a long time, and then went straight to Peng Ze: "Professor Peng, can I delay you for a few minutes?"

So he was taken all the way upstairs.Xia Huixi sat in the secretary's office, while Professor Peng entered the president's office.She waited for a long time, until the sky outside was getting dark, and the secretary was about to get off work. Seeing that there was no movement inside, she finally asked her: "Miss Xia, it seems that there will be a long time to talk inside, why don't I transfer a car to send you to the office first?" Are you going back?"

She was not sure whether to continue to wait.Just as he was hesitating, he found that the door was open.Peng Ze and Pei Yueze came out together, they seemed to have more to say, and they were still talking in a low voice.When Professor Peng saw it, he slapped his head: "Oh, Xiao Xia, I forgot about you. Are you still waiting?"

Professor Peng introduced: "This is my student."

Only then did Pei Yueze look at Xia Huixi with a smile, probably a little more seriously than before, and shook hands again: "It's a pleasure to meet you from a famous teacher."

For a period of time afterwards, Professor Peng often called her, or asked her to fetch some materials, or check a few documents in the reference room of the research institute and send them over.As soon as she received the phone call and finished her homework, she often rushed to the headquarters of CRIX to hand over the completed document package to the tutor.When I saw Pei Yueze several times occasionally, he always nodded to her very politely, but he always pursed the corners of his lips, as if he couldn't smile, which still impressed Xia Huixi deeply.

Having said this, Xia Huixi picked up the cup of warm water at hand, took a sip, and stopped talking.

Pei Yueze looked puzzled: "That's it?"

She almost laughed: "That's it."

He frowned, with a childish expression, as if he was trying to remember: "I'm sorry, I really can't remember."

Xia Huixi waved her hand quickly: "I don't mean anything else. Just chatting casually. It's been more than two years, and you don't have a deep impression on me, that's normal."

Pei Yueze lowered his head slightly, and a strand of hair fell above his brow bone, like a black needle, covering his expression. The thumb of his left hand gently stroked his slightly pale lips, not tight He said unhurriedly: "At that time, I often needed to ask Professor Peng some questions."

"Really? Director Peng is indeed the leading psychologist in China. He also has a lot of clinical experience." Xia Huixi smiled sarcastically, "Did you seek him for psychological counseling at that time?"

Pei Yueze didn't speak for a long time, his eyes were clear, and he seemed to be carefully observing her expression through the hair.In fact, Xia Huixi's expression was very ordinary, nothing out of the ordinary, which reassured him a little, but he simply denied it: "No."

Xia Huixi didn't delve into it either, she looked down at the time, as if a little unwilling: "It's a chat, but I'm the only one talking."

The other party laughed softly, and there seemed to be special tolerance and love in his eyes: "The next time we meet, I should return to China, right? I will cooperate with you well."

Today's progress is very good, she stretched out her hand with a bit of lively emotion: "Then it's a deal."

"It's a deal." Pei Yueze held her hand, stared deeply, with a gentle tone, "I'm going back on the plane at night. You have to be careful during this time, don't go out alone."

His hands were not as warm as Su Ruhao's, they were slightly cold, with thin and strong joints.Xia Huixi felt a little relaxed when she pulled out her hand, and replied very kindly: "I know. Thank you."

He walked her all the way to the door, watching her back leave.It was obvious that there was warmth from her on his fingertips, but that person seemed to have disappeared into the air, and with her breath, he was cooling down at a speed beyond his reach.This time, he restrained his strong emotions and gently closed the door.

Xia Huixi walked briskly out of the down elevator, perhaps aware of the subtle changes in her mentality, perhaps because of Pei Yueze's quietly changed attitude, she suddenly felt relaxed, and regained some confidence in the future psychological counseling.

She glanced at the room number on the side, and remembered that this was Su Ruhao's room, so she stopped involuntarily.I wanted to see if he was in better health, but suddenly felt a little shy and timid, hesitated for a long time, and finally fled in despair.

The carpet is very thick and soft, even if you walk on it, even if you wear high heels, it will not make even the slightest sound.Xia Huixi took out the room card to open the door, clicked, and turned the doorknob again. She walked in sideways, and was about to close the door, when she suddenly felt that the door was stuck by something.

Before she even had time to turn her head, she saw a black shadow flashing in from the corner of her eye.He pinched her hand, kicked the door shut, and pushed her against the wall behind the door.

Xia Huixi suffered a cardiac arrest.The room card landed silently in the dark and quiet room.

Xia Huixi's body was pressed against the wall, which happened to be the position of the full-length mirror. Although there was heating, it still felt cold as soon as it was put on it.She only felt her body go weak, and she gradually slid down.In the end, with the help of his backhand, he slowly stood up and said in a low voice, "Let me go."

The man did not respond, but quietly let go of her wrist, put one hand on the mirror behind her neck, and wrapped her waist in the other, leaned over to her, and smiled softly: "I recognize you!" gone?"

How could he not know it was him?After getting along for so long, his subtle movements or breath are always familiar.Xia Huixi was a little annoyed, but the darkness seemed to be an obstacle covering each other, she couldn't speak, so she could only push him on the shoulder: "Su Ruhao, let me go!"

At this moment, the two of them were almost facing each other. Because he lowered his head, the tip of his nose rubbed against the side of her neck, and the breath he exhaled brushed up a few strands of long hair, as if light feathers were flying by, a little itchy.

"Why didn't you come in at the door just now?"

"what?"

On the one hand, she felt that she was surprised by this question, and on the other hand, she felt that the appearance of the two of them was really outrageous, so she tried her best to stick her body against the wall, and slowly moved down, trying to reach the room that fell on the ground. Card.And he grabbed her waist, making her unable to move, and repeated in a very soft voice: "Why don't you come in?"

The back body was cold because it was against the wall, while the front was scorching hot, Xia Huixi only felt flustered: "I thought you didn't want to see me."

"I don't want to see you, so you go to see Pei Yueze?"

When the customer service staff cleans the room, they usually close the curtains, and they really can't see their fingers.She couldn't see his expression, but only heard such a cold sentence, like a boulder, weighing heavily on her, making her breathless.For a long while, she was as calm as she was, but she just stabilized her body without saying a word.

Su Ruhao's hand slowly touched her face, he couldn't see her, but he could still touch the outline of her face.Smooth forehead, straight nose bridge, slightly warm cheeks... His fingers moved down until they touched her lips, once and for all, as if in the bottom of his heart, he traced her appearance with a simple but simple pencil .

In fact, since the first time he met, he has continuously discovered all kinds of things in her that are enough to attract him.Her personality...in most cases, she is generous, can interact with students lively, and has boundless enthusiasm when organizing charitable causes.So he was dragged like this, and went to Cuixiang with her, and the exhaustion before and after the saddle had nothing to do with his affairs. Even when he moved his finger at the end and crossed the money, he was terrified—in fact, money is not a problem. , I just suddenly thought, did I deviate too much from the track?

Xia Huixi had completely recovered her composure when she spoke. She raised her head slightly and said slowly, "Don't do this, let's talk properly."

He listened for a long while without moving, and finally let go of her slowly, bent down to pick up the room card, and inserted it in the position of the power access slot.

Electricity seemed to be flowing silently, and with a soft snap, the lights on the roof turned on.Su Ruhao had already taken a step back, but still supported the wall beside her with one hand, looking at her intently.

Looking at each other at such a close distance, it seemed as if he could feel his slightly curled eyelashes brushing against his cheeks along with his breath, and Xia Huixi felt his heart beating uncontrollably.There was a trace of suppressed restlessness in his eyes, and he seemed to be anxiously waiting for her response.

"I'm his psychiatrist. Why, is it wrong to do this?"

As if someone dropped a stone into the boundless deep sea, layer after layer of ripples spread out, Su Ruhao's deep black eyes spread and condensed in an instant, and finally the corners of his mouth Mingming smiled vaguely, and said softly, "I'm the one who made such a fuss."

He finally remembered to let go of her, and the oppressive feeling dissipated in an instant like a puff of smoke.Xia Huixi gradually relaxed, and forced a smile: "Are you all right?"

His face was a little pale, but his eyes were surprisingly clear, and he said after a long time, "It's all right."

Xia Huixi's long hair was brushed against the wall by him, and it looked disheveled and somewhat casual, just like her messy mood at the moment, no matter how she tidied it up, it seemed like a mess.She simply took off the ponytail's rubber band, and with a heartbeat, Qingyue's voice echoed in the room: "Su Ruhao, what were you doing just now? Is this considered an overreaction?"

The three words "Su Ruhao" yelled like pearls falling on a jade plate, with a refreshing beauty.There was a smile on Su Ruhao's lips, as if he wanted to comfort her, and he said slowly: "I am worrying about gains and losses. Did it scare you?"

As if because he was honest about his thoughts, the man's cheeks turned red, and he lost his previous composure and calmness. His voice was gentle and sincere: "I said I would not misunderstand you. But this kind of Things seem to be really out of control..."

Perhaps this response came a little late. Xia Huixi's clear and bright thinking seemed to be blocked by something for a while. She stared at him for a few seconds, and finally uttered a simple syllable: "Oh."

Su Ruhao seemed to ignore her dull expression at the moment, and changed the topic very naturally: "Well, it's only been a few days since I went abroad, but it seems like a long time."

Looking back now, the original academic international exchange, which was not special, seemed to be a surging undercurrent, treacherous and turbulent, and it was not peaceful from the beginning.If the encounter with violence on the street was the beginning, then a series of things happened next, which disturbed my mind.Xia Huixi stroked her forehead habitually, her slender and white knuckles folded in front of her forehead, as if a magnolia bloomed.And he was also silent for a while, sensing the vague embarrassment, coughed lightly: "I'll go first."

From the traditional point of view, Su Ruhao is a so-called "upright and peaceful" handsome. His facial features may not be as impeccably handsome as Pei Yueze's, but he is handsome with a special taste.Every time I see him, I always feel dependent.

But tonight, his behavior was a little too abnormal, as if he had lost his usual gentle and elegant image, and suddenly burst out with intense emotions.She raised her eyebrows and looked at the back of him leaving, and suddenly missed those fragments of the two of them getting along in China.They discussed the current popular cutting-edge theories of psychology, or met for dinner in the small restaurant on the second floor of the cafeteria, laughing and talking, and the relationship between each other was as clear as clouds and breezy.

What turned this harmonious atmosphere into such a stiff and eccentric awkwardness?

Maybe it's still not good for me, if I can restrain myself...if she never mentioned anything...

Feeling a little remorse, Xia Huixi suddenly raised his voice and stopped him: "Su Ruhao, we... can still get along like before, right?"

It's just that his footsteps didn't stop, and the figure suddenly faded away from the door, leaving only a soft sound of closing the door, as if the notes that hadn't stopped still played in his mind.

For the next few days, everything was uneventful.Su Ruhao didn't know if he had heard her last words, but his attitude towards her seemed to go back in time, and he returned to his previous appearance in an instant.Until returning to China, Xia Huixi felt very relaxed with such an attitude.

After taking a shower, he closed the window that had been open all afternoon and turned on the air conditioner. Xia Huixi wrapped himself in a quilt and planned to have a good sleep.In fact, physical fatigue is only secondary. Once she returned to China, she was exposed to the chill of late autumn and early winter here, and thought of the materials that needed to be sorted out and the courses that she had to take, and she felt very tired.She buried her face in half of the quilt, because the quilt hadn't been exposed to the sun for a long time, and she smelled damp, so she tossed and turned and couldn't sleep.

When the phone vibrated suddenly, the sound was extraordinarily crisp, as if someone flicked a blade with a finger, and Xia Huixi almost sat up in shock.

She didn't feel sleepy anymore, so she simply sat up and turned on the light, then answered the phone.

Unexpectedly, it was the director of the TV station who called, and she was very polite, asking if she was back, and when she could come back to record the show.

In fact, the conversation last time was almost deadlocked.Xia Huixi had already planned not to do it any longer, but the gentle and polite tone of the other party made her feel a little confused.She responded vaguely a few times, and finally asked the other party tentatively and tactfully: "The last time I asked for leave with the program team, they told me that they had found a candidate to take over."

The other party was silent for a while, and smiled awkwardly, as if he didn't know how to answer, and at the end, he didn't go around in circles: "Miss Xia, it's like this, the show always depends on the ratings. Our current situation is that you ask for leave Afterwards, the ratings were indeed not as good as before. So, what the TV station means is, please come back and continue to do this show. There may have been some communication problems between us before, but these problems can be renegotiated, what do you think?"

Xia Huixi has always been willing to accept softness rather than toughness. The other party is so modest, she has been shaken in her heart for the most part. After thinking about it, she still agrees.

The screenwriter exchanged a few words with her, complimented her without any trace, and mentioned that she is very popular on a local forum, which aroused Xia Huixi's curiosity, hung up the phone, and turned on the computer.

It seems that every city has a very popular forum, where people communicate with each other and share food, shopping, and other information that only local people find very engaging.Xia Huixi seldom went to this BBS, and for a while she didn't know where to find what the director said on the phone. She glanced at an advertisement on a search engine, as if an idea suddenly lit up, overwhelming the others. idea.She clicked on the search page and entered three words with her fingertips: Pei Yueze.

Internet search is naturally a science, and it also requires skills.But it was obvious that Xia Huixi failed in this subject without a doubt.The information page that comes out is extremely monotonous, and it is nothing more than related to CRIX, or a few simple identity introductions.

She sighed, tried changing the key words, and searched for his family and background again.Again, nothing.

This man, it seems, only CRIX and his own identity are left to the outside world.

The table lamp emits warm and warm light on this late autumn rainy night, like a small sun that can be held in the palm of your hand.Xia Huixi closed the page, feeling a little disappointed.In fact, she didn't have a sudden onset of gossip mentality, and she was not interested in Pei Yueze's private life at all.It's just that as his psychiatrist, she has too little information on him.In fact, the background analysis of the object of consultation is quite important.On this point, Pei Yueze didn't give her any clues or possible information.

She couldn't help thinking of the dreams she had often had recently.That man seemed to be shrouded in a mist, and every time his handsome face emerged from the mist like a sea of ​​clouds, the black background, together with the slender figure, would disappear in an instant.And he stretched out his hand in vain, with a few desolate and shimmering mist on his fingertips.

Xia Huixi seemed to shrink back, her fingers trembled slightly, as if she wanted to shake off those droplets that didn't exist.Suddenly remembered something, and sat there stiffly, at the end of his gaze, there was a very neat stack of notepads.

She has always had the habit of carrying a notepad with her. This habit can help her plan her life well.Any chores, ranging from course adjustments to shopping lists in the supermarket, will always be recorded on it.

A thought flashed away, like lightning, not so bright and dazzling, but it somewhat illuminated the distance of several steps before the eyes and feet.

Two years ago, Professor Peng often asked her to look for some academic materials.And she always writes it down in a small notebook, and then finds it out from the database, or copies it, or prints it into a book, and then sends it to the tutor.Looking back now, it seemed that that time was when he had frequent contact with Professor Peng.

So, will those materials be related to him?

Thankfully she kept those records.

She quickly dug out one of the notebooks, and the final date was fixed on a certain day more than two years ago.

My impression is not wrong.Indeed, the papers at that time were filled with the titles and authors of papers and works.She glanced briefly and summed up the key words—the treatment of depression.

At that time, it was written with the most common ballpoint pen. The blue ink had melted a little, and ghost images were faintly blurred, overlapping, as if they were the footsteps of the light of the day.

Xia Huixi closed the notebook sadly, like a child who failed in guessing a riddle, he stroked his forehead and smiled with some headaches.In fact, the cooperation between CRIX and Nantah University on the drug treatment of depression had already started at that time.So if you think about it carefully, there is nothing special about these materials.

Still nothing.

(End of this chapter)