Dust sleeps in light years

Chapter 33

Ye Xuan saw the long-lost sadness and loneliness appearing on her face, and heard her say "My biggest wish in life is to have a complete family" in a very slow voice, his heart instantly curled up.

A similar situation had only occurred nearly four years ago.Ye Xuan, who is the male host of the school's cultural evening, arrived at the backstage lounge early as required. As soon as he walked to the door, he heard a girl's vicious yelling from inside. The boy was hesitant to come in to persuade him or leave temporarily, and a sentence faintly slipped into his ear: "...You poor bastard! You don't deserve to go to the same school as me!" Just thinking about how the little girl is so powerful now, Zeng Ye rushed out of it.

The door slammed in front of the boy with a "bang", but because of too much force, it bounced back quickly.So Ye Xuan saw Qiu He who was at a loss inside, with sadness and loneliness written all over his face.

After the girl saw Ye Xuan, a little embarrassment was added to her original expression.She shrugged her shoulders pretending to be relaxed: "I just asked why she insisted on getting on with me."

The boy laughed and sat down on the sofa: "Yeah, I also want to know what's going on with her, she insists on making things difficult for you?" Qiuhe competes against each other.

But Qiuhe took the boy's words as interrogative sentences, and said with a wry smile: "Actually, Zeng Ye is my own sister, and I have the same father as me. My parents have been lovers since college. My mother got divorced and married another high-ranking official's daughter. Zeng Ye grew up in a complete family. She was self-willed and arrogant since she was a child. I really can't understand why she is so against me."

"With a beautiful and smart sister like you, I would also be mad with jealousy." The boy leaned on the sofa, looked at her with his head resting on his arms, and that was all he said.

The relief that blurted out at that time can't be expressed now.He can no longer convince Qiuhe that she is happier, because this happiness is in his own hands, but he cannot give it to her.

[Nine]
Professor Lu turned off the lamp on the desk and saw Qiu He standing at the door. He was slightly taken aback, smiled and shook his head and said, "I knew you didn't give up so easily. Don't be stubborn. It's impossible to tell you."

The girl was frustrated and nervous, and completely lost her previous spirit: "I'm not here for Umi's business, I'm here to ask for your help. Although I didn't make an appointment in advance, I wanted to try my luck. Your assistant downstairs said that the last patient today I just left...I hope I won't disturb your rest...Can you...prescribe me some sleeping pills or antidepressant or anti-anxiety medicine?"

The teacher immediately changed his attitude and asked with concern: "What's the matter? What happened? Come to the consulting room to talk."

Walking through the corridor, turning on the light in the consulting room, the two sat down in front of the leather chair facing each other. "I want some medicine. I've been tossing and turning for two or three hours every night lately before I can barely fall asleep, but I'm still a light sleeper. Even the searchlights on my face at the construction site near the dormitory can wake me up. Do The symptoms of nightmares have also recurred. I used to have this problem when I was a child. And I have no sense of security. Sometimes I want to hide in the closet to sleep. I am afraid of light, water, death, and the smell of flowers. I must be suffering from anxiety. You need to take some medicine."

Professor Lu shook his head: "Don't prescribe yourself casually, and I don't advocate using drugs to control it. I must know the root cause of the disease, not just suppress the symptoms. Have you encountered extreme sadness or disappointment recently? "

Qiu He fell silent, as if he didn't know where to start.The teacher waits without urging.

After a few minutes, it seemed that she was still trying to get the medicine she wanted, and the girl said reluctantly: "I'm broken in love."

Professor Lu looked at her expectantly and encouraged her to continue.The girl anxiously stroked her hair with her hands many times, and sometimes lowered her head and scraped the nails of her right hand vigorously with the nails of her left hand.

"It's not that I haven't been in love before... My first boyfriend changed his mind. I have already brought him home to meet my mother, but after half a year he broke up with me, saying that he came to visit me during dinner My cousin fell in love at first sight. He said I was naive, and said my cousin 'has an independent personality'." The girl snorted coldly, turned her eyes to the ground on one side, and repeated in a mocking tone, "Independent personality?"

After a pause for a few seconds, she continued: "The second boyfriend is even more ridiculous. He changed his mind and fell in love with someone else and didn't say anything. He even asked me how much money he would give me so that he wouldn't make trouble with that third party. He thought he was too much How poor I am when I have money! Funny..." The girl was filled with righteous indignation for an instant, but immediately took a deep breath to suppress it, and regained her composure, "I am poor, so poor that all I have left is money."

"Later, I also dated many boyfriends, on and off, without deep affection. But this time is different, he has never been my boyfriend, he has always been just a friend, like a brother, or even a friend of my father, who cares about me, Take care of me, solve my troubles, help me when I lose my way. I love him, and I know he loves me too, but... because of his professional nature, we can't be together. I long for stability, stability, Security. That's what he couldn't give me."

The girl choked her throat and fell silent again for a long time.This time, Professor Lu began to ask about her family and childhood. "My mother opened her own small commodity processing workshop, which has recently developed into a factory. She has always devoted herself to her work. My father is a photographer who travels around the world. I didn't meet him before I graduated from high school. I only received him. Postcards are constantly being sent from all over the world. I grew up with my grandparents, almost no family discipline, free but lonely. From childhood to adulthood, the only thing that makes me feel happy in my family is to receive those warm words written by my father Greeting postcard.

"So, even though I haven't met my dad, I think I'm closer to my dad than I am to my mom. I had a big fight with my mom during the rebellious period of junior high school. I accused her of not caring enough for me, but she said, 'Take you Born to be thankful for a lifetime'. I broke my heart and stopped talking to her until high school.

"This is the family I knew before graduating from high school. My mother and I were frustrated and wanted to find my father. I took the photos to search for the legendary ancestral home, checked the household registration, and found this place. The funny thing is, he I am not a photographer, and I have never sent postcards. Those postcards were written by my mother and entrusted to me by a friendly foreign supplier salesman. She just thinks that I should not lose the role of father in my life. .

"My father is an official. Before I was born, he divorced my mother and climbed to the top. He refused to recognize me at all. After I revealed my identity, I will remember his embarrassed expression for the rest of my life. My existence can only remind him of today's Chen Shimei's despicable behavior was the result of his success and fame. He even offered me a sum of money and asked me to stay away from his family.

"Actually, I can understand him. He is over half a century old and has a certain social status. It is human nature to pray for family harmony and not to cause trouble. In fact, he also has unknown worries and sorrows. He now His wife has her own business, and she can neither manage housework nor educate her son. His son should be in high school, but he hasn’t been to school for a long time. The whole family fell asleep before sneaking into the kitchen to find snacks. To outsiders, he dismissed all these as children being naughty. In fact, he knew but didn't want to admit that the child had autism. Maybe it was because of me and that The child is related by blood. When I talked to him, he responded unexpectedly, just like a normal person. My dad just..."

Qiu He saw that Professor Lu's eyes were a little more hollow than before, and he slowed down his speech speed more and more: "...relaxed the tense nerves, and released some long-standing anxiety with each breath, and relaxed a little more with each breath. , every muscle, every nerve, and every organ in the body relax..."

[ten]
Professor Lu felt Qiu He pat him on the shoulder, realized that he had lost his mind for a while, apologized repeatedly, and continued to talk with her for a while, until he thought he had uncovered the source of her repressed pain and helped her Accepting the impact of some of her past experiences, she was prescribed very small doses of medication in case she needed them.Say goodbye to her at last.

"Whether the symptoms slow down or worsen, come here and tell me at three o'clock in the afternoon after a week." Qiu He asked Professor Lu to stay.So he went to the door of the consulting room, went back to the office along the corridor to pick up his briefcase, and prepared to go home. Before leaving, he habitually glanced at the wall clock on the wall, and couldn't help being slightly startled.Three hours have passed since entering the treatment room.It feels like an hour at most.

The distraction during the diagnosis and treatment process is too strange to think about now, coupled with the unexplainable time difference, could it be... He hurriedly put down his briefcase to search for Wu Mi's case file.Seeing it staying in the folder intact, he breathed a sigh of relief, but immediately doubted whether Qiu He had issued a direct order to ask himself. And even if you know it, you won't have any bad intentions.

In the next second, he was surprised to find that the printer he had been supporting was still warm.He went to the window and opened the curtains, and happened to see Qiu He looking up towards him in front of the streetlight downstairs.

The girl’s beige high-waisted dress was covered with a long white cardigan, standing alone in the sudden strong wind, the A4 paper in her hand, the gauze white silk scarf on her chest, and the hair floating to one side were all violently fluctuating with the wind , but her whole body is still.

No wavering, no restlessness.Calmly and silently, in the faint light, he raised his head and smiled.

(End of this chapter)