The Complete Collection of Ice Books

Chapter 38 Mood (12)
Han Xin despised Xiang Yu's wife's benevolence very much, thinking that it would not be a big deal.Han Xin pointed out to Liu Bang: Although Xiang Yu is all-powerful, he can't appoint talents, because he has the courage of a man.Although Xiang Yu shed tears to watch over his subordinates when they were sick, but he hesitated to award rewards to his officers and men for meritorious service. This is indeed the benevolence of a woman.The manifestations of women's benevolence vary, but for those who want to succeed in their careers, they should be taken as a deep warning.There is Xiang Yu's overturning, and future generations will learn from it.Therefore, the benevolence of women has become a "lesson" for those who wish to achieve great success and do great things.Those who have the benevolence of women are not enough to discuss major issues with them.

Zeng Guofan commented on the above two situations as the benevolence of women.Whether this judgment is correct, whether it is appropriate or not, and whether it is precise or not, can be discussed.But the two types of people referred to in the article do exist in life, and it is indeed embarrassing for others to talk and work with such people.A man and a husband are weeping like a little woman all day long. Can this kind of person achieve anything without will and brains?Therefore, the author said that it is not enough to talk to him.

"Conversely, if you pursue this, you can become a soldier in the world." The ancients paid attention to applying what they learned.Now that the analysis of the three "tenses" has been completed, what should we do?Although there are many shortcomings and performances in the above insufficiency and argumentation, insufficiency and emotional discussion, insufficiency and heart-to-heart talk, as mentioned in the text, due to various reasons, if you cannot distinguish them carefully, you cannot find an accurate answer. If it is not enough, it cannot be used to determine a person's life, otherwise, he will also fall into the trap of the villain of "deficiency and discussion".Knowing this principle, you can find those people who are sincere, do not pretend to be hypocritical, brave and decisive, dare to act, and have a firm stand. If you make friends with them and conspire with them, you will be able to succeed.On the contrary, you should not associate with them in order to seek good fortune and avoid evil.This is actually the standard for measuring and testing the selection of talents. By judging the people you meet, you can naturally determine who can become close comrades-in-arms, who can share weal and woe, and who can only be kept at a respectful distance. .

In addition, the identification of talents should not be arbitrary, and don't be right or wrong based on your own preferences.People have different talents, and they cannot all be pillars, nor can they all be useless.Those who know people and those who employ people lie in discovering their strengths and making use of their strengths to avoid weaknesses.Any unit or department needs all kinds of talents to form a complete talent system.

However, identifying talents is not limited to the three tenses of "discussion", "discussion", and "heart-to-heart". As long as you summarize carefully, you will find a better way.

Utilize the world
In life, many seemingly mediocre people eventually become the best in the crowd because of their firm beliefs and determination.However, many talented people have nothing to write, nothing to do, and they are still standing still.They always give people unlimited expectations, but the results are always disappointing, all because they are indecisive and timid like women.

When a man finds himself in an emergency and must make a decision immediately, even though he knows that from all his experience and knowledge, it must not be a mature decision.But he must make the best decision and action he can make under the circumstances.Many of the major decisions in life are made this way.

Only when you are independent and believe in yourself can you form a style of doing things immediately and act vigorously.A person should never waver because of repeated thinking, from here to there, and from there back to here, always wandering between left and right, trying to balance all considerations, this will make you do a lot of useless work .Once the decision is made, it is final and unshakable, and then go all out to put the decision into action.Even if you make mistakes sometimes, you are better than those who are always thinking, weighing, and dawdling.After the habit of making quick decisions is formed, his confidence in making decisions will become a new independent spiritual force in the long run.

A knowledgeable, talented, and popular candidate who is considered the best candidate by the leaders in charge of appointments and dismissals.They met at a dinner table that evening before an appointment meeting.The candidate has a particularly discerning palate, and he hesitates for a long time on every dish.

"Sir, do you need game?" After ordering, the waiter asked again.

"What kind of game do you have? Ah, quail! Give me quail—oh no! There's pheasant here. If it's convenient. I'd like some pheasant."

When the waiter left, he said nothing, but appeared very anxious.Then the pheasant came up, and he muttered, "I think I'll have it. A quail. Yes, a little of both."

But when the two plates were placed in front of him, he pushed them aside with great displeasure, and cried, "Take them all! I don't want any game."

When dinner was over, he left the restaurant.A barely dissenting opinion formed at the dinner table.

"No, gentlemen," said one leader, "this man is so indecisive that he can't even make an instant decision on what to eat. He lacks the qualities necessary to be a governor."

"What we need is such a person. As a governor, he may be a president in the future. He may have other shortcomings, but he must not be impeached for unnecessary hesitation and delay in making decisions."

A decisive person can make decisions quickly, quickly, and firmly. His followers will have confidence in him, and people usually put him in a position of trust.No one likes to see an indecisive person who is often indecisive in a key position of great responsibility.

workplace utilization
In life, it is inevitable to interact with people. Some are for work, some are for friendship, and some are for business. Good friends are like good teachers, while bad friends will make people go on detours and cause many troubles.

Xiao Jiang's previous job was a HR manager.After working in the previous company for a year, the company has a female executive director who has studied in Australia for two years.At the beginning, they were polite to each other. Xiao Jiang worked step by step and reported to her according to the requirements of the director. Sometimes she would ask Xiao Jiang about some situations, such as the relationship between employees and departments, and some company regulations, etc., but Xiao Jiang did not know her. intentions, so he prevaricates her indifferently.

Sometimes in the elevator or in the tea room, some colleagues would always ask Xiao Jiang, "how is the new director?", "what background is she?", "how old is she?" Ask three questions to deal with those boring curious people.Xiao Jiang has a good friend in the company. They often have lunch together, and sometimes go to the bar for a drink together in the evening.For this friend, Xiao Jiang does not hide his emotions, and besides, the friend is in the marketing department and does not get in the way of Xiao Jiang's affairs.

Once, Xiao Jiang and the supervisor had a disagreement over a matter. In the bar at night, Xiao Jiang poured out bitterness to his friend, saying how difficult it was to get along with the female boss, and talked about her mistakes at work. and shortcomings.Xiao Jiang's friend kept trying to persuade him to think about it, saying that he should not be as knowledgeable as a woman.

However, since the "speaking freely" at the bar that night, the relationship between Xiao Jiang and the director has gradually become rigid.Xiao Jiang began to feel that everything was going wrong.The director's attitude towards him became more and more unfriendly. Many of Xiao Jiang's suggestions were rejected by the director, and he even publicly criticized Xiao Jiang during the meeting.When Xiao Jiang's training manager left, she immediately arranged for a new training manager to intervene in the management of the company's training plans and courses. Xiao Jiang couldn't bear it anymore and submitted a resignation report to the general manager.However, what Xiao Jiang didn't expect was that one day at noon, he saw his good friend having a friendly meal with the director through the glass window of the restaurant.Xiao Jiang almost passed out at that time, he called his former colleagues to confirm that his good friend's wife and the director were college classmates who had a good relationship.

For this reason, Xiao Jiang was depressed for a long time.Betrayed by his friends in this way, he very much doubted whether there was any real friendship in the office.

1. How to identify bad friends
In the colorful world we live in, there are all kinds of people, and there are a few people who are bad friends and should never be associated with.

(1) People who like to tell stories.This kind of person is extremely selfish, and likes to judge things according to their own likes and dislikes and personal interests. This kind of person especially likes to embellish hearsay things and spread them around.This kind of person is not suitable as a candidate for an important position at work, because the destructive energy of this kind of person is often beyond imagination.

(2) People who spy on other people's privacy.The behavior of such people can be roughly divided into two types: benign and malicious.Well-intentioned people often don't know the basic morality of protecting other people's privacy, and they just say it casually when they see or hear it, and they don't know the serious consequences of the matter.Malicious people often collect or spy on other people's privacy inadvertently. This kind of person has a special interest in other people's privacy, and also likes to spy on other people's privacy as a chat after dinner, especially deliberately talking about some unit leaders. Privacy, trying to show off the special relationship between oneself and the leader, appearing to be very capable, in order to raise one's own social status.

(3) People who are good at obedience and obedience.This kind of person is "one thing to the face and another thing to the back". In front of you, you can be praised to the sky, but behind your back, you can be said to be worthless.This kind of person is the snobbish person who can most disintegrate the fighting spirit of the team and cause disunity among friends and colleagues. Therefore, the best way to deal with this kind of person is not to associate with them.

(4) People who lack basic morality.No matter how high the academic qualifications are or how long they have been educated, some people are born with a lack of moral cultivation, lack of basic morality and etiquette.When friends around you encounter difficulties, it is basically difficult to get help from such people.

(5) People who lack team awareness.If there are so few or individual people in a team who lack team awareness, such as no strict work and rest time, no strict work plan, no rigorous work attitude, and so on.In the process of our struggle for the cause, everyone's team awareness and team spirit will always affect the success or failure of our entire career.

(6) People who are too selfish.Some people regard their own interests as greater than watermelons, and regard the honor of the collective and the team as less than sesame seeds.Before doing anything, you must first weigh your own interests and gains and losses. For things that are beneficial to you, you should sharpen your head and drill in; for things that are not profitable, no matter how others mobilize, you will be indifferent.This kind of person habitually uses a magnifying glass to look at the shortcomings of others, but can turn a blind eye to his own shortcomings.Working or being friends with this kind of "sugar cock" who is more powerful than "iron cock" will "stick a layer of skin off you" every time, making you daunting.

(7) Lack of people who know how to repay. "Drinking water does not forget the well digger" and "The kindness of a drop of water should be repaid by the spring", which means that people should learn to repay their kindness and learn to be grateful.However, we must beware of those snobs who are good at crossing rivers and tearing down bridges, because these people do not deserve our help.

2. How to protect yourself
We have always hated those ugly, dirty, shameless snobs around us, and no one wants to become true friends with such people.However, in our real life, sometimes we may not be able to completely avoid dealing with such despicable and ugly villains, we may not be able to completely protect ourselves from being plotted against by them, and we may not be able to completely avoid being subjected to Deadly vicious damage.Therefore, the best way to avoid being hurt by such despicable and shameless people, and to prevent being slandered by such ugly and filthy villains is to stay away from such despicable and snobbish villains, not to associate with them, not to work with them, But in fact this is difficult to do.Therefore, we should also learn how to proactively deal with the eight self-protection methods of mean snobs.

(1) Avoid it.Despicable and shameless snobs often adopt the method of "one thing before others and another thing behind". On the one hand, they do everything possible to suppress their competitors and create many difficulties for their survival. On the other hand, they will try their best to flatter their leaders.When facing these people, the only thing we can do is try not to or reduce contact with them, try to avoid or reduce contact with him in work or life, and try not to disclose his privacy to him.

(2) Do not include it in the friend list.When you join a group, when choosing friends, you must divide the friends you make into "three, six, nine grades", and adopt different communication methods according to different grades of friends.As for such despicable and shameless villains, they must not be included in the list of core friends or close friends. It is best not to include them in the list of friends, as long as there are superficial etiquette.Doing so can prevent you from being hurt when you give sincerely, and also prevent yourself from being fatally plotted by such people.

(3) Avoid negotiating important core issues with them.Everyone will have their own privacy or relatively important issues and need to get the opinions and suggestions of friends. If you are a leader, you will need to listen to opinions in advance for major business or business decisions.At this time, try to avoid involving such people who are "not enough to succeed but more than to ruin". They will definitely not help you keep secrets. They will show off everywhere in order to show that they can master more core secrets than others. They are complacent about their special relationship or status with their leaders; they will even use these core issues to make deals or secretly manipulate them for personal gain.

(4) Resolutely abandon such people when forming a team.As the saying goes, "One grain of mouse droppings will ruin the whole pot of porridge." If a team is to have combat effectiveness, first of all, everyone in the team should have team spirit, cooperation spirit, and dedication spirit.However, what the despicable and nasty people don't first consider the team's combat effectiveness and team cohesion, they often think more about how much benefit they can get from this team, and what they think most about is how to calculate their colleagues to make themselves famous and profitable Double income.Sometimes, they will not hesitate to sacrifice the interests of the team and the collective for their own petty gains, which is the scary thing about this kind of people.

(5) Choose an opportunity to remind leaders to guard against despicable people.For the despicable and shameless villains who are reused by the leaders, remember that you must not directly describe their despicableness in front of the leaders. Doing so will often have counterproductive effects.Most leaders will think that you are doubting his employment standards, cronyism, and his ability to work. This is a taboo for leaders.Some leaders will also think that you are jealous and jealous, thus doubting whether there is a problem with your character and personality, which will eventually affect your impression in the mind of the leader.The best way is to choose the right opportunity to help the leader analyze the reason for something that has not been done well. You can vaguely tell the leader how he behaves in the unit, such as why he cannot get the assistance of his colleagues, etc., and subtly Affect the trust level of leaders.

(6) Make enough firewalls to prevent despicable people from destroying.For this kind of despicable snob, we should have a steelyard in our hearts. When dealing with such people, we must not have the intention of harming others, and we must have the intention of preventing others.For this kind of people, you must remember the wise saying of "only talk about one-third of a person, don't give up all your heart", just listen to them but not speak in front of them, and always update the firewall in your heart.Always remind yourself not to easily expose your true thoughts, especially what you think about leaders or friends, and you must not let such despicable people know and spread rumors and gossip.

(7) Return it to the person in the same way as the person.Despicable people are good at using the tricks of "sex and abuse", such as spreading rumors, telling stories, sowing dissension, etc. They will usually appear as your friends and "stab you" when you are not prepared.To deal with this kind of person, we can also adopt the method of "returning it to the person in the same way", so that he can also taste the pain of being plotted against.

(8) Face to face.When you hear a scumbag spreading rumours, or talking nonsense, confront them face-to-face within the limits of the rumour.Generally speaking, this kind of person is more afraid of being confronted with him, because he also knows that what he said is not true and cannot stand the test of scrutiny.As long as you master the weakness of this kind of person, after several times of confrontation with him, this despicable and shameless person will learn how powerful you are, and will not dare to provoke you easily in the future.

Of course, when dealing with such despicable and shameless people, try not to have a direct conflict, so as not to accidentally hurt yourself.

(End of this chapter)