Life is but a thought: Nan Huaijin's 15 Life Wisdom Lessons

Chapter 13
Generally speaking, blind obedience has two psychology: one is the fear of "showing off", and the other is to "fit in the group".Although it is a good thing to have "team consciousness", in the long run, the mentality of blind obedience is not conducive to self-development, and even not conducive to social development.For example, some people don’t like smoking at first, but everyone around them smokes. In order not to fall behind, he smokes himself; Stock up on goods; some people heard that hula hoops can cure all diseases, so many people began to play with hula hoops... There are countless "following the crowd" like this, coming and going in a hurry, just a flash in the pan.Facts have proved that not everything that is popular is good, and blind obedience is not advisable.

There is a story told in the outer chapter of "Zhuangzi", "Tianyun".

During the Spring and Autumn Period, there was a girl named Xi Shi in the State of Yue, who was beautiful in appearance and charming in manner.Xi Shi has always had a heartache. When she is sick, she always presses her chest with her hand and frowns tightly.In the eyes of others, her sick appearance has a special charm, which is lovable and charming.

At that time, there was an ugly girl named Dong Shi. By chance, Dong Shi met Xi Shi who was ill. He saw Xi Shi covering his chest with his hands and frowning. Passers-by praised such a beautiful person, which is rare. , and the frowning look is extremely charming.

At this time, Dong Shi thought, no wonder people say that Xi Shi is beautiful, so she wanted to make a pose of frowning and touching her chest!So, Dong Shi also imitated Xi Shi's sick appearance, covering his chest, frowning, walking up and down the road, waiting for others to praise him.Unexpectedly, when people saw her, they hid further away, and some quickly closed the door as if they had seen a ghost.

Maybe Dong Shi felt very depressed. Why did Xi Shi get compliments from others when she was sick, but she didn't get it when she followed suit?The reason lies in Dong Shi's blindness and blind obedience.Xi Shi was praised mainly because of her beauty and moving manners.And what about Dong Shi?The original appearance is ugly, and imitating the behavior will give people the impression that "ugly people do more mischief".People need to understand their own characteristics and look for an image that suits them. It is foolish to blindly imitate others.

Mr. Nan Huaijin mentioned in "Lao Tzu He Said" that the Dao has no name, and it is not the common way in the hearts of ordinary people. People establish a realm of the most true, the best, and the most beautiful for the metaphysical way, which deviates from the true meaning of the way.Where there is truth, goodness and beauty, there are lies, evil and ugliness; where there is Paradise, there is a boundless sea of ​​suffering; Forgetting the two is the way to achieve something.If you are not attached to true and false, good and evil, beauty and ugliness, you will be much more relaxed and happy.

There are no absolute standards for beauty, ugliness, good and evil.Establish a model of goodness, and goodness will be used by others, and become a shield for doing evil; establish a standard of beauty, and the bad habit of "imitating others by imitating others" will appear.Therefore, we should grasp the root of blind obedience in order to effectively avoid the harm of blind obedience.

Buffett, one of the world's richest men and American investor, also has a famous saying: "When others are afraid, you have to be greedy; when others are greedy, you have to be fearful." , may be the best investment opportunity; when others flock to it, there are infinite risks hidden.Therefore, if people want to live a happy life, they must be less poisoned by "blind obedience psychology".To avoid blind obedience, we must establish a correct outlook on life.Only by studying hard, correcting one's own life value orientation, establishing a scientific world view, mastering correct methodology, and improving the ability to distinguish right from wrong, can one keep a clear mind and not be disturbed by external mistakes.

In addition, before doing anything, we have to ask a few more reasons before deciding on a choice, and remember not to follow others.Thinking more can not only exercise your independence, but also allow you to be an "independent self", not to follow blindly, not to be blind.

be deceived

Self-deception is self-deception, self-righteousness, high-sightedness and low-handedness, putting oneself in a wrong position, or playing a wrong role inappropriately.Such and such is the misfortune of others, but also my own sorrow.

Mr. Nan Huaijin mentioned the word "sincerity" when explaining "The Great Learning". "The so-called sincere person should not deceive himself. It is like a bad smell, like a lustful person. This is called self-modesty. Therefore, a gentleman must be careful about his independence." "Careful about independence" is the best cover for those who are sincere and sincere.Mr. Nan Huaijin comforted us and said that maybe many things cannot be controlled, but we can learn to be responsible for ourselves and not deceive ourselves or others.

What is "self-deception"? "Self-deception" actually means competing with oneself, which is quite a deception.

Once upon a time, there was a man from the state of Chu who lived in poverty.By chance, he read in a book that "mantises use leaves to cover their bodies when spying on cicadas, and they can use this method to hide their bodies", and he began to think, if mantises can do this, so can I!So he picked some leaves to hide his body.

When he got home, he started sticking leaves to himself and asked his wife, "Can you see me?"

The wife shook her head, there was really nothing she could do with her husband, such a childish game, children would not play it anymore.So the wife replied, "I can see it."

After a while, he asked his wife again, "Can you see me?" The wife replied, "Yes."

I have done this, how can I still see it?He felt very depressed, so he stuck a few more leaves on his body.

"Can you still see me?"

A day passed, and he kept repeating this sentence.The helpless wife had no choice but to lie to him: "I can't see it."

Great!He couldn't be more excited.The next day, he came to the market to pick up other people's goods.He thought that others really couldn't see it, but in fact his every move was seen by others.

Later, the stall owner reported to the official and sent him to the county government office.The county magistrate interrogated him, why did he steal so blatantly?He explained exactly what happened.

After hearing this, the county magistrate and the people who heard the trial all laughed and laughed at his stupidity.In the end, the county magistrate did not punish him, but asked him to return the stall owner's things.

After reading this story, it is really ironic.Use leaves to cover your body, thinking that you are invisible and others cannot see you?What a stupid idea and behavior.The Chu people want to imitate what the mantis did in the book, which is a kind of self-deception.In order to test this approach, he asked his wife again and again if she could see him.The helpless wife had no choice but to "deceive" and tell him "I can't see".As a result, he became more and more courageous, thinking that his concealment technique was very powerful, and others must not be able to see him.In the end, it caused a catastrophe and was caught by the government.Fortunately, the county magistrate thought of his ignorance and let him go, otherwise he would really be hated for a long time.

It can be seen that self-deception and others are not allowed, otherwise people will always be "deceived" and lead to catastrophe.While we laugh at the people of Chu, we should also reflect on this: In our daily life, we often deceive ourselves and others, telling lies one after another in order to justify our own "lie", which makes us exhausted.What's more, if you fall into the "trap" designed by yourself, you can't escape no matter what.

Self-deception is self-deception, self-righteousness, high-sightedness and low-handedness, putting oneself in a wrong position, or playing a wrong role inappropriately.Such and such is the misfortune of others, but also my own sorrow.Deceiving oneself, deceiving others, and being deceived by others are like the three doors of life. People wander back and forth between the three, walking back and forth unconsciously.How can I escape from these three shackles?Only by re-examining your own life, being your true self and being your honest self.

"Don't lie" is a cliché. Although it has no technical content, it is actually one of the principles of life.Only by being honest with yourself and others can you not fall into the vicious circle of "self-deception" and "deception".Even if "self-deception" can give you temporary satisfaction and happiness, can it satisfy you for a long time?Do not be silly!It will make you like a "boiled frog in warm water", and let you fall into the trap silently, and you will never recover.

(End of this chapter)