Such stars and such moons: Qian Zhongshu and Yang Jiang's unparalleled love

Chapter 21 Experience the vicissitudes of life: the unbearable weight of the world (2)
They met more and more days, sometimes sitting by the ditch to bask in the sun, and sometimes talking through the green vegetables.And Zhongshu still wrote her letters, telling her what he had seen and heard, and making jokes about mixed emotions, which really added a bit of fun and comfort.Yang Jiang wrote about this incident of taking a break from the busy schedule: "Every afternoon, I can see him running from the north of the brick kiln with one foot high and one foot low. Sometimes the wind is sunny, and we are on the bank of the irrigation canal in the south of the shack. Sit for a while and bask in the sun. Sometimes he comes late and leaves after standing up and saying a few words. He can write letters to me in a few words, intermittently, and as soon as he thinks of them. I often lock the wooden door of the shack and walk with him Go to the stream, and then hurry back to guard in the vegetable garden, watching his back fade away, gradually shrink, and gradually disappear."
At that time, Yang Jiang's company raised a puppy named "Xiao Trend". They liked it very much.Every time Zhong Shu came, he would bring some tendon bones, hairy meat or rotten eggs to "Xiao Xu".

At that time, dogs were only the pets of western noble ladies, and they were not allowed to eat steamed buns and sweet potatoes under the blue sky of socialism.Such was the case with this poor little dog, lean and hungry, like a bereaved dog.But it does have spirituality, understands Qian Zhongshu's friendliness, and regards him as his closest master.

It often goes to Yang Jiang's vegetable garden, accompanying the hostess and waiting for the host.Every time Zhong Shu came over, it wagged its tail to meet him, jumped up and down with him, and couldn't drive him away, and sometimes rolled happily to express its welcome.Seeing its lively and happy appearance, Yang Jiang joked, "Mo Cun probably has never received such a warm welcome in his whole life."
Later, when they left here, they were still thinking about this little dog with only spirituality, and kept saying, "I don't know what happened to "Xiao Trend"?"
Zhong Shu said: "Perhaps it has already been eaten by others, and it has already turned into a pile of dung."
Yang Jiang said: "It doesn't matter if someone eats it. Maybe it becomes an old bitch, picks up some dung to eat, and has to feed litter after litter of puppies..."
In those days, is there anyone willing to take care of a puppy like them?They just pray that "Xiao Trend" will meet someone who is willing to feed it.

journey home

They are an upbeat couple with an intriguing sense of humor.However, there is a kind of strength that brings tears in the smile, and there is a kind of disguise called not mentioning the past. They hide their tears and entertain themselves, which does not mean that they are really happy and safe.

Here is depressing, they are depressed.In the cadre school, Yang Jiang heard that someone hanged himself in a brick kiln, and someone drove a tractor into the river and drowned.Once, she saw with her own eyes several men in military uniforms digging a pit, and a corpse in blue uniform was lifted out of a car covered with reed mats and thrown into the pit.

Another one died!Seeing is believing and hearsay is different in the end.In the twilight, she looked at the soldiers with numb faces, filled up the soil, jumped into the car and left.A living person just died like this, without a coffin, without a tombstone, just a flat bun in the desolate wilderness.

She was shocked, it turned out that death was so close to her.

Sometimes, Yang Jiang would also say that she was dreaming with her eyes open.However, she expressed her depression, and often followed her self-explaining open-mindedness: "Usually I always feel that the mud is very dirty, with phlegm, feces, urine and everything; but when I step into the mud and get close to it, I just feel slippery. It's not too dirty... I teased myself: This is a change of position or foothold!"
Looking at the firmly locked gate of the cadre school, they stepped into the mud and could no longer escape. Anger and resentment were useless, and they could only try to live in an open-minded and humorous way, trying to make their lives happy some.

One night, Yang Jiang saw a cat put a bloody mouse on her bed, and she couldn't help trembling with fright.Later, she told Zhong Shu about this, and Zhong Shu giggled. He comforted her and said, "This is a good omen, maybe you have to leave here. The internal organs and body of the dead rat are divided into two piles. "The mouse is here."
After hearing this, Yang Jiang was still very happy, although she knew in her heart that these were just Qian Zhongshu's words of comfort.During the barren and oppressive years of devolution, returning home was the biggest motivation for them to persevere.

Zhong Shu was still working as a correspondent, and often went to the post office to pick up letters and newspapers, and became acquainted with the people there over time.He often helps the staff to identify difficult words. Those uncommon names of people and places that others don’t know, but he knows them all. He helps the staff solve many problems, so he is highly valued. Tea treats him.

Once, a colleague of the post and telecommunications bureau secretly told him that the cadres of the academic department received a telegram to send a group of "old, weak, sick and disabled" back to Beijing, and he was on the list.When Yang Jiang heard the news, she was overjoyed: "If Mo Cun can return to Beijing and live with A Yuan, I will be at ease in the cadre school alone; and I can go back to Beijing to visit relatives once a year."
After a few days, the list for returning to Beijing was announced, but only him was missing.Their hearts sank little by little.Because of the misinformation, they had hopes in their hearts, and because of their hopes, they were disappointed and added a lot of distress.

When the first batch of "amnesty recipients" returned to Beijing, they went to see them off. "It's normal to send people home when guests are in the house." They couldn't help feeling disappointed as they watched the large trucks carrying people and luggage drive away.Yang Jiang pointed to the hut and said, "Give us such a hut, and we can live in it, okay?" Zhong Shu thought about it for a long time, and said, "There are no books."
He took it for granted, this book-addicted man instantly dispelled Yang Jiang's feelings of grief for spring and autumn.They are all people who like to read books. It is okay not to enjoy them for a day in the world, but if they don't read books, they can really kill them.Fortunately, at that time, there were many dictionaries, lexicons, inscriptions, notes, etc. in Qian Zhongshu's box for him to read and enjoy repeatedly.

However, when is the return date for their long journey home?
In the early spring of 6, the cadre school moved to Xinyang Minggang.There, they lived in a large tile-roofed cement house with glass windows, which was spacious and bright, and their living conditions were much better.More importantly, the dormitory of the husband and wife is only separated by a row of houses, and the commute takes only five or six minutes.

At this time, the "Cultural Revolution" was no longer a raging storm, and they could openly read some notes and reference books.As for A Yuan, who is far away in Beijing, in addition to sending them a steady stream of food, he will also send foreign newspapers and periodicals. The old couple watched secretly, and their interest remained the same as before.

When they are busy, they will meet to go for a walk in the wild.The scenery here is quiet and there are many places to linger.Every evening, they walked aimlessly in the wilderness, watching the sunset and the evening scenery, watching the clouds rolling and relaxing, as if reliving the wonderful "adventure" in Oxford when they were young.

Yang Jiang said: "The two of us take a walk together every evening, which is better than meeting in the vegetable garden. We don't use our physical strength or brains, and we are deeply ashamed of doing nothing. Seeing a large number of promising young people just holding meetings and speaking all day long, I was also secretly worried."
Here, they can't leave, but they really have nothing to do, and it's good to ask for some comfort from nature.Once, Zhong Shu had a toothache, and Yang Jiang also suffered from an eye disease, so the two made an appointment and asked for leave together to go to Xinyang to see a doctor.

At that time, Xinyang Hospital had newly invented a kind of "massage tooth extraction" - one click, and a tooth was extracted.Zhong Shu didn't dare to try, so the two escaped to play.On a whim, they slipped to a scenic spot, but there was no scenic spot. They only saw the "mountain" of the mound, the half-dry pond "lake", a long dilapidated bridge, and a few beds of medicinal herbs in the depression...

Although they didn't encounter the beautiful scenery and the interesting things, they were still happy, as novel as children who skipped class.

Yang Jiang's eye disease did not heal, so she went to Xinyang again, and the doctor said that the tear ducts were lasted.The eyes are the window to the soul, so she couldn't be careless. She decided to go back to Beijing for medical treatment, but the military propaganda team refused. In the end, she had to go to the school to get a certificate, and then she took a leave of absence to return to Beijing.

Yang Jiang returned to Beijing, leaving only Qian Zhongshu in the cadre school.Although she was also worried about Zhong Shu's "foolishness", she hardened her heart and returned after thinking about it for a short time.Unexpectedly, not long after she left, Zhong Shu fell seriously ill.

He suffered from asthma and had a high fever of [-] degrees. At that time, the medical staff of their cadre school was a little girl, not even a barefoot doctor. How could I have seen such a big battle!She was so nervous that she was sweating all over, and boldly helped him get the intravenous needle. This was the first time in her life. After the needle was done, she even forgot to untie the rubber band used for the ligature.

The little medical girl had the courage to give him two injections, and it actually worked.His high fever gradually subsided, and when Yang Jiang finished his eyes and returned to the cadre school with his daughter A Yuan, his illness had basically improved.I don't know whether to say that the little girl is talented or Zhongshu is lucky, but this little girl is very cute, she often points to her nose, shakes her head, and tells Zhongshu that she is his savior.

Seeing Zhong Shu recovering from a serious illness, Yang Jiang was very distressed, and secretly decided not to let him go alone.She said gratefully: "It's really hard for her. If she dared or refused to get those two injections, it would be even worse if she was sent to a distant place for medical treatment."
In March [-], the second batch of "amnesty recipients" was sent back to Beijing. This time, both their husband and wife were on the list.There is no unparalleled road, and they finally survived this difficult time.Yang Jiang wrote: "Hopeful things will come true sooner or later, but the hope that comes true will always change its flavor."
The so-called change of taste is not that she no longer wants to go back, but that she hopes that all her companions in the cadre school can go back.But she also knew that since there were the first and second batches, the third and fourth batches would not be too far away.So she secretly rejoiced, so that she could go home earlier.

The companions who were still unable to return to Beijing this time held a farewell banquet for them. Zhong Shu and Yang Jiang ate several meals of glutinous rice balls, as well as rare shepherd's purse meat wontons.Looking at the smiling faces that were sincerely happy for them, Yang Jiang couldn't help feeling a little ashamed: "He is also a guest, and he is much more generous than when I sent someone back to Beijing a year ago. And seeing people who are not on the list this time Being old, weak, sick, and disabled made me feel ashamed. But no matter how much ashamed and grateful I was, I couldn’t reduce my selfish joy. This made me understand: more than ten years of reform, plus two years of cadre school, let alone everyone I haven't made the progress I wanted, and even my own selfishness has not diminished. I'm still the same."
Perhaps, this is the meaning of the years in the cadre school.Eight years later, when Yang Jiang recalled this past event, she still vividly remembered it as clearly as yesterday.So, she wrote an essay "Six Chapters of the Cadre School" to commemorate it.She said that this period of life is a rare experience.

Some people say that anger makes poets.In this turbulent "Cultural Revolution", a large number of intellectuals, such as Zhong Shu and Yang Jiang, suffered humiliation and torture.As the revolution died down and came to an end, their pain and anger erupted in an all-round way, creating a new mainstream in the new era-"scar literature".

During those days, Yang Jiang also wrote a lot of "Cultural Revolution" records, such as "Complaint Conference", "Going to the Countryside Once", "Bingwu Dingwei Records-Dark Clouds and Phnom Penh", etc., but her articles were not hoarse. Shouting, there is no anger on the verge of a sword, she just narrates her life experience in the past few years in a plain tone, with laughter and tears mixed in.

(End of this chapter)